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 Nighted
Joined: 8/14/2005
Msg: 5
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Do you think guys or girls have more emotional baggage?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I notice it more in women around my age than in younger women.

It's one of the reasons I'm having a hard time finding "the one" I guess.

Seems like when I meet a nice woman that she's got some neurosis looming over her from a previous relationship. Seriously...I've met some real psychos...I could write a book.

Sometimes I can tell right away, others, like recently, everything was fine for months and then out of the blue she's wiggin' out. I still have no clue why she flipped out. I was in complete shock, but considering the malice I was treated to, no reason could be good enough to ever excuse it. So I took my lumps and started crunching along like a good soldier again.

I'm actually surprised that I haven't been assaulted by a couple of them. Well, I almost got hit with a hammer...but that doesn't really count.

Anyway, from my observations...either sex is just as susceptible to emotional trauma and niether is effected more or less. It really depends on the mind set of the person and how they are able to deal with stress.
 sleepless_in_Newmarket
Joined: 7/18/2005
Msg: 9
Do you think guys or girls have more emotional baggage?
Posted: 9/9/2005 4:36:25 PM
I agree with what somebody already said. Women build up baggage as they go along, picking up pieces here and there. Men, on the otherhand, lose parts of themselves as they go along. Men are very good at shedding excess items they don't need. So I would say, in general, women are the baggage queens. They get heavier as they get older. Men get lighter as they go along, until there is very little of their original heart remaining.
 muvment
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 13
Do you think guys or girls have more emotional baggage?
Posted: 9/9/2005 6:57:43 PM
I can only speak for myself, but I get stopped by airport security every time I travel because of the obscene amounts of emotional baggage I'm carrying.
 sammysalt
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 14
Do you think guys or girls have more emotional baggage?
Posted: 9/9/2005 8:01:42 PM
I think they have about the same, just they show it differently. Girls talk about it more than men do. Girls want it out in the open, and most men don't care to share what they feel.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 15
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Do you think guys or girls have more emotional baggage?
Posted: 3/1/2011 4:15:25 AM
So do I, but what they mean by emotional baggage isn't your lessons learned, so much as your fears and anger acquired from previous relationships, which you expect the new person to solve for you. We all welcome the GOOD stuff!
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 16
Do you think guys or girls have more emotional baggage?
Posted: 3/1/2011 6:06:32 AM
Anyone who professes at my age not to have baggage is either lying or has not lived.

It all depends on how you stow it, how you deal that counts. If you blame everyone for your issues, Im not interested, you will just accumalate more...if you see your role in what happened and can admit you played a role, Im game to help carry/bury the bags. lol

This is sooo not a gender issue. People have issues, part of life.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 17
Do you think guys or girls have more emotional baggage?
Posted: 3/1/2011 6:25:28 AM
Hmmm...why don't we just get down to having to wear our issues on our daily clothing?
Then we can be even more discriminating. But think how easy dating could be. You could see all of their issues at once. Literally. Maybe even suggest, " Hey, if you can get rid of your inability to stop taking things personally, I'll give up harboring resentment,,,and then we're good to go."
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 18
Do you think guys or girls have more emotional baggage?
Posted: 3/1/2011 6:50:33 AM
having to wear our issues on our daily clothing?
Then we can be even more discriminating. But think how easy dating could be. You could see all of their issues at once


That's assuming each person is fully aware of what issues they have, and the full import of issues others have..

Seems many people sublimate their own issues to the extent they may deny having any..

And if it was all upfront, then the intrigue of digging deeper into another's personality for cause of their puzzling behavior would be gone..

Also, in our quest for near perfection in a mate, it would rule out most everyone and our race may begin to go extinct..
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 19
Do you think guys or girls have more emotional baggage?
Posted: 3/1/2011 7:04:54 AM
OP- For ONE, it seems at the very least that we actually HEAR of women's emotional baggage more than men's emotional baggage.


I think women's emotional baggage is a result of too many men that have ""done her wrong"" in her mind/eyes...

whereas

I think mens' emotional baggage is a result of usually ONE woman who "did him wrong"" in his mind/eyes....
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 20
Do you think guys or girls have more emotional baggage?
Posted: 3/1/2011 7:05:30 AM

Anyone who professes at my age not to have baggage is either lying or has not lived.


I'm laughing so hard at this quote...not because I don't believe it to be true...I do very much...but, in another thread there's someone who believes she has no baggage and in 6-10 years of dating cannot find anyone as perfect, without baggage, as herself...

This comes from my profile:

Hey, we’re all like over the age of 10, aren’t we? I've accumulated some beautiful luggage over the years...so, why don't we see if we've got matching luggage?


Do you think guys or girls have more emotional baggage?


What I think is this is a question if answered one way or another shows the misgynistic or misandristic tendencies of the poster.
 inthroughtheoutdoor
Joined: 1/1/2011
Msg: 23
Do you think guys or girls have more emotional baggage?
Posted: 3/1/2011 8:56:23 AM
Another either/or question... which will it be this time? Boys or girls? Oh I know, it's boys...no wait...it's girls...no wait...it's boys because their luggage would be blue and ours would be pink because that's what all girls and boys do and everybody knows that blue = sad so boys are sad or at least sadder which means the boys win...erm...I mean lose....darn it I wish they'd clue me before handing me the mike oh never mind...tune in next week for the answer and come join us in our next discussion - do more boys or more girls prefer to sit for a poo?
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 25
Do you think guys or girls have more emotional baggage?
Posted: 3/1/2011 9:30:25 AM
@ TALL-IQ2:
That's assuming each person is fully aware of what issues they have, and the full import of issues others have..


Yes, that is the inferred understanding I was placing upon this statement--that both people are fully aware of their issues and the impact (relationally, et al) of those issues.


And if it was all upfront, then the intrigue of digging deeper into another's personality for cause of their puzzling behavior would be gone..


This was stated tongue-in-cheek. As in, wouldn't it be nice if we were all that honest about ourselves and didn't play emotional roulette with one another? (Yes, the assumption would be that we were all emotionally, mentally and physically aware of our issues, etc.)
To take the subjective game playing and hidden agendas off of the board, and simply get to know one another while being very open about ourselves.
There would still be the intrigue of getting to know one's personality I feel.



Also, in our quest for near perfection in a mate, it would rule out most everyone and our race may begin to go extinct..


This is also one of the slight-of-mind points I was referring to -- that so many people are looking for near perfection. To simply look at one another as we are, having many common experiences and issues, or having at least learned about and have experienced these issues through others,,,and saying I understand your experiences and shortcomings (for lack of a better word) and if we can let a bit of it go, work on a bit, enjoy the rest, I'll give it a go.

This wasn't meant to be (wholly) literal. It's figurative. :)
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 26
Do you think guys or girls have more emotional baggage?
Posted: 3/1/2011 9:42:56 AM
Anyone who professes at my age not to have baggage is either lying or has not lived.


I guess that would depend on your definition of baggage.
I consider baggage stuff you drag from relationship to another
unnecessarily.
Some people consider kids baggage...I don't.

I've lived plenty and I'm not lying.
I'm trying to think of some baggage I might carry around, and seriously?
I can't think of any.
But I'm sure someone here can assign me some of their "baggage" to carry.



 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 28
Do you think guys or girls have more emotional baggage?
Posted: 3/1/2011 10:15:29 AM

Your stuff is baggage, my stuff is hard earned wisdom. How' s that? How about them apples? Uh, oh...


I do not have baggage...I have nicely monogrammed and personalized luggage...depending upon where I'm going...I pull out as much as I need.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 29
Do you think guys or girls have more emotional baggage?
Posted: 3/2/2011 5:30:21 PM
I think us guys carry less emotional baggage then women,
but women deal with theirs much better.
As in..... they DEAL with it.
whereas we just suck it up and hope it gets better.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 30
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Do you think guys or girls have more emotional baggage?
Posted: 3/2/2011 7:19:34 PM
I don't believe for one minute that "emotional baggage" is tied to gender, but even if it is, assuming you date only one gender, what difference does it make?
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 31
Do you think guys or girls have more emotional baggage?
Posted: 3/2/2011 7:49:37 PM
baggage should fit in the over head compartment, under your seat, or in the side case saddle bags of a bike. Anything else is too much; and a thousand miles from here, you find you dont need it, why did you pack it, what the hell am I saving this for decluttering at a picnic grounds. Its cathartic, purge and reset.
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 34
Do you think guys or girls have more emotional baggage?
Posted: 3/3/2011 7:33:24 AM
It depends, how long they are staying at where they are going...
For a day or two, nobody carries much.

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 CompuG8r
Joined: 10/4/2010
Msg: 35
Do you think guys or girls have more emotional baggage?
Posted: 3/7/2011 12:50:51 PM
OP I don't think it's about who has the most baggage. Everybody has some. I think it's about being able to deal with your own baggage and that of the other person. I don't think you can generalize about which sex has the most baggage. You just need to realize that there's going to be some baggage, and you're going to have to deal with it to keep a relationship going. That's just the way it is.
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