Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  >      Home login  
Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 6
view profile
racism ended relationship :( still hurtsPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Hi Polish Illusion,

I can relate to your experience similarly; except for the part of being harassed afterwords. When I dated my ex-Nepali girlfriend, it was the dribble, she has some form emotional/cultural issues. When we would argue she would throw that in my face and I couldn't understand why, until I saw the picture clearer: her mother, family, and herself. Towards the end, I couldn't understand why she was drifting away and I did all I could to be as gentlemanly about it and still got thrown to the curve.

The experience taught me that some people are cruel and will excuses, cowardly excuses that is, to justify their actions. The thing is to pick up on it before it gets to the point where they're using the culture excuse as a reason to justify their actions. You've got to clear with them that you're not dating them because they're from land XYZ, but because of who they are as a person.
Joined: 8/11/2005
Msg: 7
racism ended relationship :( still hurts
Posted: 9/14/2005 4:25:23 AM
their views say more about them, than it does you. Reason enough to not feel bad. That doesn't work, express your feelings to them, via letter, phone call, e-mail whatever, and that's about all that I can think of to do in this 1 min of time I've spent.
Joined: 1/21/2005
Msg: 8
racism ended relationship :( still hurts
Posted: 9/14/2005 4:31:42 AM
I like what you write
Joined: 3/6/2005
Msg: 10
racism ended relationship :( still hurts
Posted: 9/14/2005 6:47:25 PM

Hey man... I am sorry for what happened with you, I had the same crap over and over in my life, what can I say... I understand your position 100%.

I refuse that shit as well...
Unfortunately the relationship world is not equal in most cases.. you have to give more and expect less...

It will take time... she abused you, trust me it is not worth thinking about, you are free now! enjoy and get back to your more important studies!

Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 12
view profile
racism ended relationship :( still hurts
Posted: 9/16/2005 12:16:29 PM
Can you get some sluttily dressed white girls, one on each arm, to flaunt in front of her? Perform public sex in front of her and see what happens.
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 13
racism ended relationship :( still hurts
Posted: 10/29/2005 10:13:07 AM
You miss her a lot and you subconciousley wish you would have been more of a man and not let the relationship end like it did. We've all been there.

Here's what I would have did the first time she bought that up. I'M NOT ON THIS PLANET TO PLEASE YOU PARENTS. Her attraction for you would have amplified. Because that's showing masculine qualities. Because really she dosen't care either. You let her down. Because you did not shin when it was your time to shine as a MAN. I'm not saying this to be hard on you I'm just telling you like it is. Women loos attraction for you when you fail to stand your ground as because they percieve you as a wussy, and they are'nt attracted to wussies.

What I would do in this situation (course I'm bold enough to do it and not give a DAMN.) I would go see her when she's at her parents residence and pick her up and lay her down on the dining table just like you would do in private a lone with her right infront of her parents. Kiss her REALY STRONG LIKE YOU'RE MINE. And then grab her by her hand walk out with her. That speaks volumes right there.

She was testing you buddie. Women are always testing us. It's in their nature. It's subconcious. It comes from millions of years of evolution. Women want a stealth man. Not necessarliy phisically mentally.

Hey I'm going to refer to a site you can do what you want with it. It's a guy by the name of David Deangelo. He's a MENS self help author. He teaches guys how to be successful. I have learned a lot from studiend his materials. And I have tested out what I have learned. Cause I don't just take anyones word for anything. I test everything out for myself. Anyway he has a news letter service that you can subscribe to for free. You wil get mailing in your email twice a week for free. Now his books a and video, and audio recordings you have to pay for of course. I subscribe to his monthly interview series and find it very useful, it's $20.00 a month, that's besde the point. Start studying from AUTHORS LIKE Deangelo, expand your social circle. Make friends with guys who have really successful sex lives. If you hangout in nightclubs you'll meet some of those guys. Buy them a drink it's an investment worth making. You can really learn a lot from watching and observing guys who have it down naturally in action. That's even better than reading reserch materials which is text.

My interpretation based on what you've written is she want's you back. You've probably been ****ing her real good. Anyway she still has fealing for you. She would not continue contacting you if she didn't. However she's waiting for you to gain a spine. And once you show that she'll never let you go.

Ultimatly no matter what happens with this particular girl learn from this so you don't make the same mistakes that caused her to drif from with the next girl that you like. We should always learn from our past. Like I said man I've been there before myself, and I'm still learning new things every day about attracting women and keeping attracted. It's a long learning process. Cause we all have those natural abilitys as men they've been suppresssed du to negative socialization. And we must break out of that. So I know what you're feeling. And that's not a good feeling for a man to have.

Hey champ hope you find what I've shared with you useful. Stay strong.

Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 15
racism ended relationship :( still hurts
Posted: 10/29/2005 5:18:22 PM
[Yes racism is rough sometimes. I am aware that a lot of whites have an asian fettish so to speak. I suppose they would assume they would have more in common with asians than any other race, such as blacks]

Sparda7 you make a valid point. If this was a different topic I be in total aggrence with you. However on this topic I have to dissagree with you to a point. BIOLOGY OVERIDES CULTURE, Because Culture is unnatural. I have learned from studying human behavior, evolution, David Deangelos materials as well as a lot of life expierence that they're certain things required of a man to attract and hold a woman ESPECIALLY AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN! Because the more attractive she is she more she afford to be SNOOTY. Point is If you possess and know how express those qualitys that magnatize a woman and make her feel deep attraction for you nothing else matters. No racial/cultural differences, socialecconomic differences, they'res lots of high income involved with poor men and helping their men out financially. Her friends and family can talk trash about untill doomsday and it won't change her feeling for you a bit if you have done your job as a MAN and made her feel attraction for you.

Think about this my brother. Why is it that a lot of smoking hot women fall for jerks. I have know guy throught my life who truly fit the dictionary definition of the word JERK. Men who can walk into any public establishment and clear the place with just their presence. No employees even want to serve them. What is that draws an attractive woman to that type of guy verses a NICE GUY? Think about that. Nice guys do finish last atleast when it comes to sexual attraction.

This topic here is about this guys ex which he obviousley misses very much loosing attraction for him, simple as that. And that is a common occurance for many many many men partially because of the effemanization of men that's going on in society through filthy show on television lik queer eye for straght men or whatever the hell that dumb show is called. Masculinity is being suppressed in society. And that's why men are having a hard time attracting women ESPECIALLY ATTRACTIVE WOMEN. That's what we should be focusing on here.

Not to downgrade your point it's a valid and like I said if this was a different topic I would applaud it.
Joined: 4/22/2005
Msg: 16
view profile
racism ended relationship :( still hurts
Posted: 9/24/2007 1:21:55 PM
sotexman: I was married to someone not of my race, and at the risk of sounding racist, I won't do that again. Just too many cultural differences.

SCW: "Race" which doesn't exist...has nothing to do with it. Culture does.

Although Condolezza Rice and I are of the same ethnicity, I wouldn't date her.
I wouldn't date any conservative.
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 17
view profile
racism ended relationship :( still hurts
Posted: 9/24/2007 1:48:07 PM
Anyone who harasses you should be reported to campus security immediately, the girl included. Send her a certified and notarized letter telling her the police WILL become involved if the harassment continues, then send a copy to campus security. If they are receiving any sort of scholarships it should jeopardize them.
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 18
racism ended relationship :( still hurts
Posted: 9/24/2007 2:03:45 PM
Any time a person dates another person from a different race, there is always a possibility that some people won't like it whether it's family members, friends, neighbors, co-workers etc.
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 20
view profile
racism ended relationship :( still hurts
Posted: 9/30/2007 2:12:33 PM
Mr Dis-Illussion,

Sorry about your broken heart, glad it is getting better. I congradulate you for not becoming bitter about a race because of a bad experience.

It seems you are surrounded by a LOT of people that love drama, and creating more of it.
Suggestion, get new room mate.
As many have said, get restraining order.
Remember you are 22 yrs old, you have plenty of time to fall in and out of love and learn more lessons. When the hurt comes up, remind yourself of that.

Most of all, yes there are people that still have cultural issues, and when their parents get into the mix, it really can get ugly. However there are people that don't have that issue as well.
This gal seems to thrive on the drama, and brings it to each person she dates. Remember her new knight in shining armor is next in line after she is done with him.
This seems like a good thing to remember, and to keep in mind when going out with someone of another race. It is one of those gentle questions you can ask on a first of second date. Then move on if they hesitate, or say welllll my parent have a problem, remember it isn't worth the hurt.

You said yourself, you are in college, and have your own pain to heal. Go and have fun, a love of a life time can be better found when your emotionally healthy, and ready to enjoy it.
Joined: 2/20/2012
Msg: 22
racism ended relationship :( still hurts
Posted: 5/22/2012 5:00:52 PM
I don't tolerate it from myself or anyone else. I don't want someone to think I am not adequate because of the colour of my skin. I am not afraid to embrace new cultures and experiences in my life. Some women want the TV image and to be frank, I understand why at times, but it does not mean I have to accept it in my life. If I do hear some of these women state that there are no good guys and consciously or sub-consciously place race in the way of pursuing love and romance, I WILL NOT BE SORRY for those people. I WILL NOT. Those same ones judge me by skin NOT by character. So no tear or sympathy will come from me that do not treat me like an equal because of race. Had to get that out...
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 23
racism ended relationship :( still hurts
Posted: 5/23/2012 6:11:47 PM

racism ended relationship

First off I'm sorry to hear dude, And I can totally relate to your situation.

I dated a Muslim girl years back and she was amazing!!!!! Prob one of the best relationships I've ever had.
How ever based on her strong religion, She wound up dumping me. Not because she wanted to It's because her parents forced! her to. :(

When her rents found out she was dating me, All hell broke loose. It got so bad they wound up forcing her to stay home. She couldn't even go to school or work, That's how ****ed up her parents were.

When I first steeped Into her life, I had a strong feeling her parents would never except me and I kept telling myself not to get Involved but you can't stop feelings. It's just human nature.
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  >