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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 i need to be held
Joined: 9/22/2005
Msg: 51
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!Page 3 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
it has been months since i left and sometimes i wonder if i will ever be able to love again.my head tells me it will get better but my heart feels differently. it is a slow ache that just won't go away.
i am unsure of myself when i used to be so secure in who i was. my chest feels like the whole world is bearing down on me.
the only peace i have is believing that once you have truly known real true love that you can find it again. god i hope this is true.
i really don't think that tears make you stronger, at least not in my case, i feel weaker and defeated.
 angelstar64
Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 52
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 9/27/2005 9:17:30 AM
yes it hurts....i know what you mean......but....it wont hurt forever hun...get yourself up out of bed everyday..shower.walk the dog.or whatever.....get out of the house....meet a friend for coffee....if you dont have a pet..consider adopting one.....they really help when that lonely feeling takes over.....give your heart time to mend...ive been on my own for 13 years..yes im lonely...ive had a few lovers but nothing serious....now that my heart has mended i am looking.....sort of...im talking to a great guy i met here....im not in a hurry to marry again.but i do like the idea of having a relationship to build on......baby steps is the key...on day at a time.....one week..one month..one year...dont be looking for the next one...let him come to you..so to speak......when fate will intervine.....love yourself first and foremost.....then you can truly love another.........good luck
 gaialei101
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 53
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 9/27/2005 7:05:31 PM
you have to ask yourself this, are you really ready to commit and share yourself with someone else or are you looking for someone to fill the void in your life? If you are hundred percent sure that you are over your divorce and is very ready to move on the best thing you can do is do something, the little things that makes you happy. The divorce may have left you feeling unloved and unwanted or cared. You need to pamper and love yourself all over again and feel confident in your ability to give and receive love. You deserve to be happy so start with the things that makes you happy and learn not to depend your happiness with someone else. When our experiences and heartaches are still fresh it feels like the end of the world and other people even want to die. I told myself that if i give up in the end i am the one who will truly lose. Good luck and may life brings you love and peace in your heart.
 Satisfiher
Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 54
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this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 9/27/2005 7:46:05 PM
This thread is amazing,....all the caring and compassion for everyone sends shivers down my spine.It is so nice to see people trying to help other people, all for the simple reason that they are human beings ,an equal, and are trying to help in anyway they possibly can,and maybe make a difference.My heart goes out to everyone here,I know I haven't posted ""what ails me",but after reading everything everyone has said here,it has helped me a lot,and thank you .You have all put a smile in my heart.
 Soulfishy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 55
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this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 9/27/2005 11:02:37 PM
Hey Roxy...I do think we need to have girlfriends, for sure for sure. It always seems when I'm attached they're single and vice versa though....guess that's why I'm here!! Ms. Elegance, are things going better for you?
I have good days and bad, sometimes I am just putting one foot in front of the other you know...eventually it will feel just like walking.
L
 Lazyboyz
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 56
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 9/27/2005 11:30:15 PM
ms_elegance_25

You know, I felt the same way you did 15 years ago after my fiance left
me. It took a few years to feel totally comfortable living on my
own (and getting over my loss). Only when I was totally ready did I go out looking for a
girlfriend - on my own terms.

Learn to enjoy the life you have now, don't rely on another person
to bring you 'happiness'. Today, I have a gf, but I know that if anything
happens to the relationship, I will go on - life would still be awesome!

Do some soul-searching.
 missy_pq
Joined: 3/21/2005
Msg: 57
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 9/27/2005 11:45:12 PM
ms elegance, the first couple of years are the hardest, then one day you wake up and you realize you have not only survived, but have begun to embrace your freedom, your independence and the option to please no one bu yourself at times. It DOES get easier and can, in fact, be enjoyable. And remember, there are worse things in life than being lonely. (Just think of what?who you COULD be stuck with. LOL)
 registerme
Joined: 8/9/2005
Msg: 58
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 9/27/2005 11:46:01 PM
its a fact of life babe, people love to a conclusion. Sometimes the temporary pain of being alone is better than the pain that somebody else inflicts on you. Do not confuse feeling lonely with being weak. We all feel lonely at sometime, but that does not make us weak. We are weak when we saty in a relationship that we cannot grow in both as individuals and as a couple. Tiem is the Great Mystic Revealer

Cheers
 R-U-Here
Joined: 6/21/2005
Msg: 59
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 9/29/2005 7:35:59 AM
Ms. Elegance,
I have walked in your shoes for six years now and it isn't getting any easier. Just hang in there and be strong.
The hardest thing for me to accept was when my wife who cheated on me moved on so easy and remarried after a couple of years. It did not bother me that SHE got married because I do not love her anymore. The part that bothered me was that after everything she did to me during our marriage she found it easy to move onto marriage number three at the age of 35. It made me feel like the love I felt during seven years of marriage was nothing more than an joke.
 jonf
Joined: 9/22/2005
Msg: 60
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 9/29/2005 8:18:46 AM
time heals all wounds. but we forget to remember that there is nto a set time frame. I hat myself having to go to bed alone. but wether you believe in GOD, fate, destiny....the man you divorced was not ment for you, for what ever reason. when the time comes you will find the person who was ment for you they say that everyone has a perfect match...In the mean time goout see people start to rebuild. Learn to happy being single then you will apprecaite that person even more. NO YOU ARE NOT WEAK YOU ARE HUMAN

CUT YOUR SELF A LITTLE SLACK
 Soulfishy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 61
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this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 9/29/2005 2:16:34 PM
Yeah, cutting ourselves some slack is something to remember everyday. There are times I wonder if I should have left my husband, as he appears to have moved on and I am still struggling, and it was MY decision! How weird is that? Anyway, it is good to hear other people having the same feelings of emptyness, lonliness and despair. The old cliche fits: "misery loves company"
 Lazyboyz
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 62
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 9/30/2005 2:02:50 AM
Maybe you need to just bang some guy and get that other one out
of your mind. Bang a few if you have to
 caroline30
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 63
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 9/30/2005 12:10:03 PM
At least you have been married b4. i can not even imagine someone loving me enough to even marry me. i have had so many failed, scarring realtionships that i am to the point that i hate men. i have never had 1 man do 1 thing for me. i want to be married so bad it hurts. i have been with this guy for 3 years and all he does is play me like a joke. he doesnt mention marriage, all he does is hang out at the club and be a ***hole to me. i have also caught him cheating on me but what do i do. i settle for it. i rather have someone than be alone. Personally i would be happy if i were you. you obviously got a divorce for some reason so there must have been problems. Now you dont have to worry about hearing his mouth. I try to get away from my man but i get so lonely sometimes i just take him back. i guess you could say that is why i havent and wont find my future husband b/c im wasting my time w/ this jerk. i've tried to see other people and they turn out worse then him . Usually they just want to get in your pants. It all suxs but everything happens for a reason and i know the pain hurts like hell but one day you will heal and be able to move on. i hope and wish i was strong as you. maybe one day i will be so SMILE :) be thankful for what you have. My quote i live by is :

"Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people so when we meet the right one you will know."

Hang in there, you are very pretty so you will meet someone soon.
 Soulfishy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 64
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this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 9/30/2005 4:23:35 PM
Well, Caroline30, what on earth is a good looking YOUNG girl like you doing wasting her time with a guy who treats her badly?

But I do I hear you on the marriage thing, another cliche comes to mind "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"

I'm kinda debating that right now though...

In fact I just found out my ex has someone new in his life and it is quite serious, my kids are spending the weekend with them...which I am sick about, while I spend the weekend alone. Don't I feel like the fool now? So I am not really one to give you advice, I know what you mean when you say you've tried to go out with others but they are worse!! Makes you go running back to the evil you know....

I am starting a new thread on "when you ex finds someone new"....It's a whole n'other hurt!!

Anyway, maybe you just need to get out of the town you are in, branch out, you will find Mr. Right, get married, have babies... you do need to dump the goof, its a leap of faith!!

L
 Girl with Wishes
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 65
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this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 9/30/2005 5:19:22 PM
All I can say Ms. Elegance, is be careful for what you wish for, because it just might come true. Just from personal experience and the death of my best friend and best lover I ever had, he's been gone over 8 yrs now, I was devastated. I remained single for those 8 yrs and in the beginning I just couldn't allow myself to even try to find someone else, then the lonliness set in and I laid in bed praying for someone to come along, missing what I had and wishing God would send me someone genuine and sensitive. I had worked with this one guy for 4 yrs and never even looked at him with any boyfriend/girlfriend intentions. Then one day he invited me to go out on his boat, as a friend from work. Well, I began to realize that he was single and I was single, so why not? So I asked him, "what do you think about the two of us getting together"? At first it seemed awkward because we had only looked at each other as co-workers/friends but we managed to get past that, but because I had been so hurt from past experiences I really couldn't let my guard down, but he was all into it, telling me all the things I wanted and needed to hear. I finally gave in and gave him my heart. Well here we are a year and a half later, totally miserable. He's given me everything I had ever dreamed of, but the genuine love doesn't exist. I love him but I just don't feel it in return. He's never around because of work, and still I sit alone, wishing I had someone in my life to share things with. I think back to my single days and wonder if I made the right choice as to start a relationship with him, especially now that I see how this has turned out. My advice to you is to be happy with yourself and when it's right it will happen. Don't try to force anything because you may end up more miserable then you are right now.
 machine69
Joined: 8/25/2005
Msg: 66
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 9/30/2005 5:39:19 PM
Dear Ms Elegance,
well, I have to say that I know first hand how you feel, being seperated now for a year and a half from a ten year marriage.
You get used to having someone with you ,even if things arent going so good.
I wake up in the middle of the night looking for a warm body that is no longer there.
You are not alone, and I dont think that you are weak either. Some people can be alone and independant others cant.
What i can tell you is to take your time to find the right person for you and no matter how lonely you get dont settle for the first selfish self centered moron that pays attention to you like I made the mistake of doing.
People that are in a rush to move in together and tell you they want to marry you after 3 months of dating dont have their heads on right and they will cause you grief.
Be carefull is all im saying.
 machine69
Joined: 8/25/2005
Msg: 67
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 9/30/2005 5:51:40 PM
wow ,
i cant believe you are being treated that way, Igot dumped simply because she said i was too needy.This after telling me that I was the one, the best lover and that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. Maybe i tried too hard to be the best that i could be.
I dont think this Guy deserves and appreciates you.
I sya move on there has got to be something better out there!
 average guy05
Joined: 9/29/2005
Msg: 68
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 9/30/2005 5:53:09 PM
i can understand the pain of divorce because i am at the starting of the process. i try to understand why, how... but i cant find the answer's. it gets even more painfull when children are involved. things come to an end and may be people drift apart, but i just cant seem to get over the hurt and pain. if it takes time, then how long ?
 benjammin66
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 69
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this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 9/30/2005 6:03:57 PM
Well, I hurt inside indeed because my ex-wife packed up the mini-van including my little boys and drove from Philadelphia to South Florida. I am an alcoholic and at the time kept relapsing every 6 or 8 months. She couldn't take it anymore. I have no resentments against her, but I still hurt because of the kids living in a separated family. I live in S FL now and have 1 yr clean and sober. Last summer (last drink) fell while fishing, banged my head, and had brain surgery, coma. And she was there every day for 2 months in hospital. So we still love eachother.

I must be strong, do good things, think positive...for the kids. But I still hurt inside desperately, hope some day we re-marry (she says no way ever); I share this because if you hear a more tragic story than yours (DK if it is), maybe you'll feel better.
 Steveman32
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 70
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 9/30/2005 6:30:07 PM
Hi Ms Elegance--I know exactly where your'e coming from---yeah being single can be ok--more freedom etc...----but waking up in the morning alone can be pretty lonely----its nice just to have someone to hold onto-------believe me, someone will come along and sweep you right off your feet---Iv'e been single now for about 2 1/2 years and have had lots of time to think---I just won't get so attatched to someone to the point where if they leave---your whole world goes to hell. And another point--you are not weak--just a lady who needs what we all need---love---its just human nature. If you need to talk anytime--just let me know--take care and remember--there are people who are thinking about you.---Steve.
 Soulfishy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 71
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this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 10/1/2005 12:33:15 PM
Holy, Ben
That must have been so hard seeing them all drive away, esp the kids I would think. Glad to hear you are looking after yourself!! The kids will respect you later!
L
 Justme2466
Joined: 6/21/2005
Msg: 72
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 10/1/2005 12:50:57 PM
I know the hurt and have been in your shoes and find at 42 and 6 years after my divorce still being alone but find that people come and go from your life for a reason and only God knows your future. I would rather wait for the right one than to speed up the process and be with the wrong one. This past year has been the hardest. My oldest daughter got married in June and the youngest left for college so talk about a lonely feeling. I find strength in knowing someone is out there for me but God just isn't ready to let it happen. Be strong and believe in yourself and if you just need to vent drop me a line......

TJ
 benjammin66
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 73
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this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 10/1/2005 3:57:16 PM
Hey Soulfishy thanks for your words; I appreciate it. Yeh, it was wickedly hard, but today is today and I'm moving ahead in a positive way. You've got beautiful blue eyes! And I've been all over Canada on business and BC is no doubt my favorite. Hope you read this.
 swartzy
Joined: 4/15/2005
Msg: 74
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 10/1/2005 8:27:35 PM
i know how ya feel girl it sucks my wife cheated on me and i wanted to die but life does go on and maybe just maybe that special someone is out there for me but ya never stop trying to find them k anytine you want to chat im swartzy on here k or jeff is my name lol bye for now
 bambigurl206
Joined: 9/14/2005
Msg: 75
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 10/1/2005 8:44:36 PM
Hi there.....I have been right where you are now.......as a matter of a fact I'm in the same boat as you. This is not the first time for me (I have a few yrs. on you....:)....but at the same time, I look back at my x's (yes that is plural) and I always found another one who I was in love with but just didn't work out. I love my independence at this moment, but at times it can get lonely. But not for long. Also, I'm sick of these guys who are just into looking at you as a "sex object". I get that frequently! It sux! I guess they don't read my profile which states "Friends First and Foremost" and you don't make friends on first of seonds dates. I'm not trying to bash men for Heavens sake ..... lol. As I do like a guy who can treat me like a lady and be a gentleman. Don't worry, you are a very pretty young lady and you will have absolutely finding the right person! Sometimes, if you quit looking, that's when you find. This I have found to be true. Hang in there and yes time heals all wounds...some faster and some slower.
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