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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 SleahS
Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 76
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!Page 4 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Hi everyone! i am only 20, but my daughters father and i were together for 5 years! we grew up and learned it all together! but now the "growing up" is just to hard for him! we are still friends he still see's our daughter he just needs time to grow up, I don't know that him and I will ever be together again he's hurt me pretty bad threw everything, but i read threw alot of these posts and i felt i needed to add in one more lonley person that cant sleep at night because i don't have anyone holding me, i like to sit up and night and recap my day! talk about things thats when i feel the most talkative! thats when the real me comes up. But i TOO like everyone else feel so lonley its hard to go on, my biggest fear in life has always been being alone, and now i really am! but when my daughter wakes up and needs me it makes me put all those bad feelings asside even if it is just for the time being until she goes back to sleep( she's only 3 months old). I just want someone to give me that affection that we all as humans LONG for! I'm a stay at home mom! i've gota meeting at the local community college today to look into going back to school! i'm 'excited!' the advice that i give myself over and over day after day ranges from quite a few things but the most that come to mind at the moment are that, god puts us threw the tests that he does, in order to teach us something useful for our futures! and those feelings ARn't week if anything they are STRONg bcause we all hurt this way yet we keep on living no matter how hard it is! we keep on going! Personally i beleive that we are all the strongest group of people in the WORLD!!!

Everyone keep your heads up! trust that things are happening for a reason, a GOOD one in the end!!! And if anyone wants to talk just let me know! i'm here!!!!
 BUDDITOS
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 77
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 10/18/2005 9:30:12 AM
ITS ARE TO IMAGINE BUT IAM A NICE MAN OF TWENTY EIGHT YEARS AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN KISSED CAN I HAVE YOU
 Barry425
Joined: 9/28/2005
Msg: 78
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 10/18/2005 9:42:23 AM
Hi Sweet,
I, too, have been through a divorce. I remember when I was about 12 years old I was wondering if I would ever find someone special. At that time, I wanted to have as many children as possible. I figured that the "dumb people" stayed home and made babies and the so-called "smart" ones got big money-making careers and either had no children or just one or two. Being one of the "smart" ones (I was one of the walking brains in high school), I figured to single handedly turn the tide and bless the world with "smart" children. About 60 or them, I calculated.
Well, things didn't work out for me, either. I'm divorced with one daughter, and no son to carry on the family name (which may not be important to some, but it is to me). Nevertheless, I'm on this site, still looking.
At my age (57), even though I look and feel like 40, the chances are diminishing to find that special someone that wants to have a family. Even though the chances dimininsh with every passing day, the hope that I have in Jesus sustains me. I will live forever in a mansion that He is preparing for me, and my beloved daughter (and possibly her future family) will be with me.
Men will let you down every time, even though we usually do not mean to. Have faith in Jesus Christ and He will never let you down. He is my Joy, and He will provide a wife for me in His time. If your heart is broken right now, then you are on the rebound and likely to make mistakes in judgement. Now is not the time to begin another relationship. You need to heal first. If you go "on the hunt" for a man, then the wrong kind of men will see that and take advantage of you. Guard your heart and save it for the man that God sends to you. And don't worry, you'll know who he is even if God has to throw him across the hood of your car or something! lol Hugs, Barry425
 momisok
Joined: 8/24/2005
Msg: 79
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 10/18/2005 1:15:45 PM
1st thing to do is get over your ex. i've been alone for 5 years. i found new and different things to keep me going. i have just met this man and i'm very glad that i waited. you will be to. don't take just anything. please be fussy and you will be happy.
 james4891
Joined: 5/31/2005
Msg: 80
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 10/18/2005 1:36:40 PM
Sounds like your a weak person. You need to learn to be alone and then you will be able to share your life.
 sassi_britches
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 81
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 10/18/2005 2:07:01 PM
James, I think you are just as lonely as the rest of us or you would not have been so cruel and cold with your message. My white horse prince has now become my own dependability and my own common sense. It is a learnin process to be alone. I am alone after 3 yrs. I have finally learned to love myself this past year. It was a hard process, but one that I am very proud of. I had to grow up fast and learn to do alot by myself. I just went thru hurricane Katrina. I lost everything and I am separated from my children that is the hardest part. I am currently in TN all alone. So girl if I can take care of myself without a man thru this hard time you can too.
It has taken me awhile to learn to love myself more than a man can. Give it time. Time is your worst enemy girl. I won't lie about that. But just remember after the moon there is always the sun to follow and each day will get easier. Love yourself first and then you will know your own self worth. Your heart is worth its weight in gold. Never give up on your dreams or you'll soul will surely die. If you ever want to talk I am just a message away and know I am here for you. Dont give up ok.
Wishing on my own dreams
Sassi
 unicornfan6
Joined: 10/7/2005
Msg: 82
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 10/18/2005 3:43:34 PM
I with you Ms. El...been single mom for 2 yrs myself, with only kids and co-workers to talk to. But no real "friends" really to speak of. I have mirrors all over the house to keep me company, as corny as it may sound. Feel free to email me if you need an ear. I know how it feels to feel like no one is there just to listen.
 bouch25
Joined: 8/19/2005
Msg: 83
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 10/18/2005 4:07:01 PM
Hello Ms elegance,

I realy know how you feel. I`ve been there about 2 years agowhen my ex cheated on me after 4 years. What you are feeling is normale and single life isn`t all it cracked out to be. The once that are single that lett you they realy enjoy it and rather be single or eather 2 things they are lying to you and or just moseable because knowone wants them so they try to pretend it`s ok. Imagine after 4 years end up going to bed on your own at night how that felt like. Just because I`m a guy dosen`t mean that I have no imotion. I was actualy crying myself to sleep. But as time goes on and that dosen`t mean 2-3 days later that can take weeks months and perhaps years, you start feeling beter. bBut know 2 years later I`m starting to date again but fallow this advice because I`m fallowing it myself. Just because you are going to bed everynight alone and steel single, dosen`t mean you need to rush and just pick up just anyone so you can have someone in your life. Just like you said somtimes it`s better tormain single then just have someone that dosen`t treat you right. I to some night wonder in my bed what and where is my future girlfriend is right know it`s funny but I'm sure I will meet someone that I will be happy again with. So take courage and be happy. By the way you seam to have a good job and you are preaty also have a head on your shopulder so don`t worry about it time will come faster then you think .... Have a great evenig and opfully this can help you.
 jimi77
Joined: 7/13/2004
Msg: 84
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 10/18/2005 5:45:30 PM
<~~~ knows all to well how many tears a pillow can hold.. i just take it day by day and enjoy what i can each day.. if it happens it happens if not.. i work on making me happy.
 finess2u
Joined: 6/27/2005
Msg: 85
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 10/18/2005 10:12:15 PM
Yes we have all at one time been there. I thought that the grass would be greener on the other side, but after 3 years alone I was lost. I was starting to see my x husband again, we were having a great time as very good friends. we would go shopping and he would tell the cashier that we were divorced and that one day he would get me back.... I would roll my eyes and say bet me and lose. Not wanting him to think I was going to be easy to get back. Then life threw me a out, He was killed a month later in a stupid car wreck.Stupid as in the guys run out of gas on I35 and were in the middle of both lanes. drunk thats why we all should not drink and drive. I'm so thinkful for the time we had, but it has made me picky and for that I have had 1 friend that I could have in time , the best person for me and I pushed him away. I'm a loner too and it's not good. get out and meet people is what we all have to do! and what a good time for this party, so be there and we can all if there is no connection, don't worry you have maked friends. (smile god loves you and there is someone out there that will love you too.)
 canaryrx8
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 86
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this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 10/18/2005 10:37:53 PM
lots of good stuff in this thread, to make it super simple however:

1. Time heals everything non-lethal as previously mentioned (yes, having patience can be a bugger too)

2. NEVER settle

It is totally true that it is better to be alone than with some knucklehead waste o' space, it's hard to see that sometimes, but you deserve (shoot, we all do) nothing short of fabulous. Good results are never easy to obtain so focus on the positives, raise your expectations, dig your heels in and hang in there, shoot for the stars instead of the clouds
 finess2u
Joined: 6/27/2005
Msg: 87
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 10/18/2005 10:48:39 PM
James, Have you ever had your heart taken and stepped on, chewed up and spit out. Well, it knocks you to the dirt, and it's hard to pick yourself up. we learn this ( triangle) VICTIM, PROECUTOR,and SAVIOR. They all run together if ever you are hurt Like me I was the victim of a bad rape, I became the prosecutor real fast to forget what had happen taking it out on everyone making everything out bad my life, job, ect. then after help I wanted to save the world from evil. Know I'm in the center ready to live and not judge myself as a loser, not going to have a fear of loving and not getting it in return.( live)It took me 3 years to get here. I was never weak and she is not weak. because if I had been weak do you think I would still be here weak is for those who take the easy but selfish way out. there is a big difference between alone and weak. You sound like you are at the Proecutor stage.
 solome
Joined: 11/6/2005
Msg: 88
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this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 11/7/2005 6:02:33 AM
Hello there, I know how you are hurting and I know how you are feeling right now. I just broke up with my girlfriend. It seems no one is looking for a good guy. My heart has been broken many times before so I am trying to heal once again. Hang in there it is going to be OK. email me if you want and we'll chat

Jes
 Miranda133
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 89
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 11/7/2005 8:20:29 AM
It's almost 26 years since I left my marriage, but I remember as clear as yesterday, sitting in my lawyers office as he said to me, "There is wisdom in the governemnts' three year wait for a divorce. One year to accept that it is over, one year to regroup and start to make plans for yourself, one year to start actively taking charge again. Too many people are shacking up within 6 weeks of a split; that's not love, that's lonliess. "

He was right. The timetable is different for everyone, but basically that's the three steps needed.

Let me offer this perspective...

Step 1. Accept that it is over. It is but is it? You still identify yourself in the concept of an 'us'. You are ready to devote yourself to someone, but what about yourself?

Step 2. Regroup. Regrouping is about yourself not you and someone else.

Step 3. Start actively taking charge. Well, something to work on...

Who are you when you're not with someone. How do you describe yourself? You, not you and someone.

Lonely will come and go. So will relationships of various kinds. The one constant is the face you look at in the mirror, Make peace with your relationship with her before you go out and try to make peace with others. And have some fun doing it.
 Soulfishy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 90
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this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 11/7/2005 6:44:09 PM

"There is wisdom in the governemnts' three year wait for a divorce. One year to accept that it is over, one year to regroup and start to make plans for yourself, one year to start actively taking charge again. Too many people are shacking up within 6 weeks of a split; that's not love, that's lonliess. "


Wow, Miranda, I really needed that, at the stage I am in right this very moment, feeling stressed and wondering what the he** is wrong with me for not being over it(been less than a year)
To the original post-er....how are YOU doing?
 CADILLACGUY433
Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 91
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this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 3/2/2006 1:57:48 PM
IT SADDENS ME TO SEE SOME OF THE PAIN AND LONGING FOR GOOD QUALITY COMPANIONSHIP. I WOULD LOVE THE OPPURTUNITY TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS MS ELEGANCE. TAKE A CHANCE WITH ME. I GUARANTEE TO HAVE FUN EVEN IF NOTHING ELSE COMES OF IT. ~ CHRIS

P.S. "WHO'S COMIN WITH ME??"

"OK,... THESE FISH.. THEY ARE COMING WITH ME!!"
 42andTall
Joined: 11/16/2005
Msg: 92
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 3/2/2006 2:11:39 PM
It all takes time. It hurts and you think you are going to be alone for ever. Then when you are not looking you find it. That person who just seems so nice and you ask yourself is thie for real?? Just take your time one day at a time. I took me three years and now I am ready and might have found the right one. Only time will tell.

Hope this helps
 Red1963
Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 93
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 3/2/2006 2:18:24 PM
Hi,

I understand completely how you feel. I've been divorced and raising my son for about 10 yrs. now. In all this time got involved with one person for about 2 yrs. A very nice guy, but not someone for the long haul. Of course I often wonder will I ever meet that special someone who will be the ONE. But what I have realized is that it is so important to let go, focus on you and doing what make you happy in life.

I really do believe that the "real" love will come to us when we are not concentrating on it.
Be yourself, enjoy your life and when you've come to the conclusion that it's ok to be on your own, that you can make it by yourself, that's when out of nowhere, you'll be found. And it's so much better to be found then to always have to do the finding.
And a little prayer never hurt


Be happy,
M.
 umeandthestars
Joined: 2/22/2006
Msg: 94
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 3/2/2006 2:32:33 PM
I'm 53 years old and never fell in love until a couple of years ago. I didn't know if I was even capable of loving someone until one day I turned around and the most beautiful woman in the world was standing there. I fell head over heels in that moment. She was incredible, smart, funny and full of life. Every day I fell deeper and deeper in love with her.Unfortunately, she never fell in love with me and ended up breaking my heart. It took me a long time to get her out of my mind, my heart stills aches for her. Now, I could of told myself I was better off when I alone and didn't love anyone, but she did make me realize I had a lot of love to give and a need to have someone special in my life. I just have to find that someone who deserves my love as you have to find your special someone that deserves your love. The world is full of jerks, male and female, but there are also a lot of good, kind, caring people who deseve our love, we just can't give up looking. Never give up.
 GoldenHeartForYou
Joined: 2/24/2006
Msg: 95
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 3/2/2006 3:00:12 PM
I wouldn't even Know between all the hurts and non hurts and games playing and all
But, In my case, been married almost 8yrs. then he's gone, banded his daughter at age
3yrs old and a son that was only 2 days old on a life and death situation. and on life support for such a long time. but now he is doing wonderful and healthy
for 2 yrs of struggling with my son to fight his strength nothing never bothered me,
and never thought of nothing, just my son health, thank god he is perfect. and on top of that I was dealling also with my daughter emotional feeling shes gone threw what we all call it
but it was a bad case of it too temper fits. etc. ouch she have over come it all and doing well now.
after that all that struggleing between 2 childrens, it strucked hard on me and hit me very hard, on what has happened too me. oh yeah been badly hurt from my ex, it was like living hell. slowly I start too put myself back together. but never hited me soo hard before because too busy consentrating on my son and daughter.
With in 5 yrs I couldn't trust a man and never beleive them nor wanted too have anythign too do with them etc. but slowly I pulled myself out of it too.
but when I came across a wonderful guy. and all was going soo well. communication,
etc. gone just like that and never, because of his being affraid, scared, and don't want too be hurt. and say too him i am not that way etc.

and it went silience. and now gone back too square one once again. I don't think i can never trust a guy and never beleive them. been hurt before, but gone threw it again
I find that in plentyoffishes, I feel that there is no long term relationship
wondering if its all just a fantacy . or is there a guy that is real
I cut off on socialize with any man nor i won't meet them. because of hurt.
it actualy bring me back too square one, and i struggle for 5 yrs and its now silience and a fantacy. no man really cares and no man follow their profile.
How would i know if the next guy comes along, don't know about the other one hes on silience and not saying nothing, how would I know if the guy is for real or not
its horrible being alone. and not fun anymore being alone too too long now 5 yrs.
you pin point it too me and i know i am rite.
not one guy really wants a serious relationship not one.
so why they put long term. i don't know now
but I never had an issue, my issue was gone long time ago, now issue came back no trust in man, and I will never beleive them at all. well the guy I still don't know If we are going too
meet or not. but when that day comes. I will know if he is or not. now i waite but still going too try at least too chat with other man. but I can't anymore. not one chat can not lead anymore.
pin point out on which guys really wants a long term relationship
now I im a situtation that i can never trust a guy again
never, not even chat with them. yeah i am hurting very bad once again.

what happened too the other guy well I still don't know .
just on a waite and looking again but too scared too messege a guy
 sandra71
Joined: 1/24/2006
Msg: 96
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 3/2/2006 5:28:06 PM
I used to worry about being single the rest of my life, but I got over it. Don't get me wrong...it would be awesome to find the right one. But I'll be fine if I don't. I've kinda stopped looking. I figure if it's gonna happen...it'll happen on it's own.
 faramir
Joined: 2/7/2006
Msg: 97
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this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 3/2/2006 5:49:36 PM
If you are still feeling sad alot after two years, consider the possiblity that you might
be clinically depressed, that the breakup was the trigger to trigger that biochemical condition.If your boichemistry is talking, just positive words , good friends and talk therapy might not be enough. Do whatever it takes to get out of the basement. Nothing else will happen until you do. That was my experience, anyway.
good luck and god bless
 veni vedi vici
Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 98
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 3/2/2006 5:54:32 PM
ms e don't ever feel bad posting a thread like this,we all gone thru this before some more than others but it happens for a reason and reasons unknown at times.me myself i'm slowly snapping out of my funk each day and actually look forward to meeting someone new and start doing the things that makes us happy.so to answer your question,no you;re not weak just recovering in time for the next meaningful person that comes into your life!!good luck!!
 Happiness is...
Joined: 2/25/2006
Msg: 99
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 3/2/2006 7:47:45 PM
You are growing and that's why it hurts...it takes time to get over someone that you loved ...so be gentle with yourself. I am going thru the same thing myself and I don't want to meet just anyone...I want to meet someone that is right for me. I have faith that when I can love myself unconditionally...thats when the right person will come along. I want to be in a healthy relationship...I don't just want to have a guy around. Try to think like that maybe it will help. Be patient and love yourself first.
 your private angel
Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 100
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ITS ALL ABOUT YOU
Posted: 3/2/2006 10:20:25 PM
HELLO MS. ELEGANCE!......ANYTIME THAT THERE IS A BREAKUP IN A RELATIONSHIP, IT IS A DEATH, AND NO MATTER HOW STRONG YOU MAY BELIEVE YOU ARE, YOU STILL HAVE TO MOURN..WHAT YOU ARE EXPERIENCING IS A SADNESS ATTRIBUTED TO A DEATH OF A RELATIONSHIP, THE MOURNING PROCESS IS NOTHING MAN MADE UP IT IS A PROCESS THAT IS INHERENT TO ALL.....SO DON'T FEEL (I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I JUST ASKED YOU NOT TO FEEL(HA,HA). TRY TO LOOK AT IT THIS WAY MS.E, WHEN YOU DRINK ALOT YOU END UP GETTING A HANGOVER, SOMETHING THAT YOU CANNOT AVOID, WELL, YOU HAVE A LOVE HANGOVER, JUST RIDE IT OUT UNDERSTAND WHAT IS, AND THAT YOU ARE STILL BEAUTFUL , AS I SEE YOU, AND BELIEVE THAT SOMEONE GOOD LIKE MYSELF( AHEM!), WILL COME INTO YOUR LIFE. DON'T WORRY, I CUDDLE WITH MY PILLOW, ITS NOT A WEAKNESS, IT JUST DEMONSTRATES THAT YOU STILL HAVE SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE. I AM SINGLE AND IT DOES'NT NECCESSARILY MEAN THAT SINGLE AND HAPPY GO TOGETHER, IT IS NICE TO GET UP IN THE MORNING AND NOT HAVE TO EXPLAING ANYTHING TO ANYONE OR DEAL WITH THE DRAMA THAT GOES WITH IT BUT IT ALSO FEELS SO GOOD TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND SEE THOSE PRETTY EYES, IT DOES FEEL GOOD TO HAVE SOMEONE IN YOUR LIFE TO ENJOY PLEASANT CONVERSAIONS WITH, HOLD HANDS, EAT DINNER, GO DANCING, AND TOUCH THE STARS TOGETHER AND KNOW THAT YOU STILL HAVE AUTONOMY, AND SOMETHING TO SHARE, SO KICK BACK, ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES, YOU HAVE COME THIS FAR, AND REMEMBER THAT........YOU'RE HOT!....IT GETS BETTER, BUT JUST FLOW WITH IT
HAVE A OCEANIC DAY...........FROM YOUR PRIVAT ANGEL
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!