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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 SummerzReign
Joined: 5/17/2006
Msg: 126
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!Page 6 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Most of us have been there, some of us very recently. Well meaning friends naturally and instinctively offer sympathy when they hear that my relationship of almost six years has ended. I don't feel that I've suffered a loss. On the contrary, I feel that the time we had together was well spent. We grew together, blossomed and found love and joy along the way. When the dynamics changed and we realised we were growing apart, we agreed it was time to move on. The memories are priceless and yes, now sometimes bittersweet.
I have not suffered a loss. We had six years. We're both better people for having loved each other. Long ago I realised that it's idealistic, though certainly not impossible to expect a relationship of the heart to last an entire lifetime in todays' fast paced world.
To me, the relationship did work out. I welcome the sunshine of tomorrow with eager anticipation as I treasure my memories.

Margaret Mitchell expressed it well.

Summerz


"I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived".
~ Margaret Mitchell
 Buzz S
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 127
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 5/21/2006 4:50:00 PM
Sounds good right? Suppose to make you strong, and secure right? well how come my heart still hurts and I find myself cuddled in a blanket at night alone and praying that someone will come into my life? Or am I weak

Ms.Elegance
Its a hard thing to deal with no matter how long you've been married. The kind of commitment many of us bring into a relationship you literally give part of yourself to the other person and the feeling that you are Lost or empty probably reflects that commitment.
These days the general attitude about marriage seems very non committal. Half of marriages last but a short time for a assortment of reasons.
Modern folk today just seem to dust themselves off and head for the next nightclub.
Some of us just are not wired that way jumping in the sack with anyone that is handy just doesn't quite fill the void.
I suspect If you don't look too hard, when the time is right, he'll probably fall out of a tree and break your leg!
Until then, try to enjoy your life, smell the roses, you deserve it.
From sunny Florida
Buzz
 mcbforyou
Joined: 5/18/2006
Msg: 128
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 5/21/2006 6:00:08 PM
sometimes i feel the same way i feel alone i work come home do the dishes while she plays on the com all night all day i thought i found the one but i mistakken now i feel alone thing should get better mabye they will mabye they wont i am not sure we will have to wait and see things have a funny way of getting better
 mcbforyou
Joined: 5/18/2006
Msg: 129
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 5/21/2006 6:00:14 PM
sometimes i feel the same way i feel alone i work come home do the dishes while she plays on the com all night all day i thought i found the one but i mistakken now i feel alone thing should get better mabye they will mabye they wont i am not sure we will have to wait and see things have a funny way of getting better
 genngi
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 130
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 5/22/2006 4:09:21 AM
You are not weak. You are human. It is better to be single than to be stuck in a rut with someone. It is a great thing to remember seriously when very lonely. But loneliness is natural. Human beings are social creatures, and of course you want someone to be with. Keep praying!
 lillg
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 131
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History
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 5/22/2006 4:23:25 AM
i also know what is like waking up with no one next to me you kind of get used to it, iv always been told chin up and move on and the right one will! come out of nowere.
im trying to find that one but no lasses stick around get to know me im realy not a bad person when you get to know me.
 hazel,eyes
Joined: 5/12/2006
Msg: 132
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 5/22/2006 5:13:11 AM
i have been single now for a very long time to it seems like after your divorce it is so hard to find anyone i always think that god is punishing me for the brake up, the nights i hate them, the weekends are lonly and nice walks at night when its still hot out miss those,sometimes i wish i had a dog just so i would have someone to walk with .. but i just keep thinking it will be my turn soon,,so i am trying to keep my chin up and just enjoy what i have now
 KILLERDOGSMOOCH
Joined: 5/21/2006
Msg: 133
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 5/22/2006 10:03:53 AM
I am stubborn and keep imagining success at meeting that person. That is really the fight, keeping your head on. I pray to God.

It is my 22 yrs of business owner background. I design a product and make it successful all on my own faith.

Say to yourself that person is out there right now and he or she is laying their head on their pillow right now somewhere in my city. I am worth it. I say, "What am I doing to find her AND TO INSURE MY SUCCESS.", (just like an impersonal business plan)?
 puffthemagicdragon
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 134
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 5/22/2006 10:28:48 AM
Try being just one year into the divorce after being married only 3 and1/2 years. At age 58 I am having a hard time myself, I thought the man I married would be the one for the rest of my life. There is no garentees on relationships. This Man wants his Divorce but he still wants to be in my life making it more diffacult than it needs to be. He wants to Date me but only on Saturday nights and for just a couple of hours and we are suppose to build a relationship on two hours a week? Any way this Man can kiss my big toe, And I don't care if I am alone for the rest of my life.. He is a user!!
 sweetseptember_1965
Joined: 4/20/2006
Msg: 135
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this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 5/22/2006 11:25:57 AM
i have been married for 14 yrs. but i have been with my husband for 25+ yrs. we just seperated about a yr. ago and i haven't dated for 25+ yrs. and i know how u fell i still love my husband and don't know how to go about starting to date agian. i find myself sleeping and cuddling in a blanket also. i can't sleep at night and i cry almost everynight i just don't know how to start over. so yes i know how u feel your not weak just lonely like me.
i hope things get better for u and me
 hazel,eyes
Joined: 5/12/2006
Msg: 136
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 5/23/2006 4:37:15 AM
GOD wasnt depressed till i read this thread so many people on this planet, and yet so many people r still alone ,doesnt make sence
 orphan
Joined: 5/22/2006
Msg: 137
Two sides of love
Posted: 5/23/2006 5:30:45 AM
When love happens it is so great, then if it ends it hurts soo bad!!!
 mrchucko
Joined: 11/8/2005
Msg: 138
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 5/23/2006 5:52:32 AM
have faith....by praying u get what u want, but sometimes not right away. It will come.
 puffthemagicdragon
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 139
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 5/23/2006 6:54:41 AM
Dear senual one, Thanks for the reply, Before this Marriage I was widowed for 21 years, Lost my husband to a motorcycle accident. I didn't marry again untill 2001 and and thought He was the one and only, But it turned out I caught him around the corner with his arms Wraped around my sons girlfriend. There was no arguing about it he just said he was leaving.and the next day with out even discussing what had happened he came home from (work Late) and announced that he had filed for a Divorce. I like to think of it as I could forgive him but that he can't forgive himself. Of corse it hurts still after 1 year of seperation But he makes it harder by calling and just showing up in my drive way. He then wants to talk, Well he wants to have his Divorce but he also wants to have me. He also says we may decide to get married again in the future, I really don't understand just what it is that this guy really wants, But I am not into being used, He says he loves me, But it sure dosen't feel like love to me. I guess I am still bitter, I had filed potition for sposal support, but the soft hearted person that I am I went in and dropped it. So now I may have to move away from my home where I have lived since I was 10 years old, to go some place where I can make enough to support my self. Before I married him I was making enough to pay my bills and have a small amount left over. But he wanted me to give up all that and be at home, which I did, And after 6 months I wanted to go back to work He let me do that then he got fired from his job as a truck driver and I took on another job just to pay for the vehicles and all the things he took when he left. Now I am stuck in a job making $7.00 an hour . He doesen't want to help me with anything.I know it really hurts about your Father and the way it came about, But hang in there And be your sweet self, some day when you are least expecting it some one will come along and make you happy again, I have faith!
 lj2277
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 140
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 5/23/2006 10:26:24 AM
the problem is all the good women I find, live so far away!! ms, if you were near me, I'd keep you occupied! you would not be lonely!
 MsViv676
Joined: 3/20/2006
Msg: 141
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 5/23/2006 10:52:35 AM
Ms. I feel your pain. I am going through the same thing. I just want someone to love me, to hold me and to be there for me when I am sad. Doesn't seem to make sense that we are alone, does it?
But hopefully we will find our mates and be the happy ones....sooon..
Good luck to you and don't give up...I am not gonna
 wonderrerr
Joined: 12/29/2005
Msg: 142
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 5/23/2006 5:28:39 PM
Wow..
Im almost sorry to have to say that you do look lonely.
Im only writing because I relate too well. At least you can do something about it. because you so young.
I have been married twice before. I doubt its every really just one persona fault that it doesnt work. But when thers only 2 in a marriage how many is it supposed to take to keep it working. I mean sometimes it seems like one of the 2 needs to consult with someone since they arent willling to with their mate during rough times. Anyway I dont have any answers.
But your far too pretty a gal to be so sad. I would love to be able to at least take you out but Im a bit too old I suspect.
Good Luck
sincerely
wonderrerr
 wilda
Joined: 5/6/2006
Msg: 143
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 5/23/2006 6:19:46 PM
Well ...I saw this and right at this moment I feel very Isolated as well....Just broke up after 7 years moved away to penticton and now .....NO friends....No gal..... Stress.....I often catch myself Thinking what is she doing now.... should I call?....But reality sets in and I overcome that 1 anxiety temptation / feeling...and find myself pre-occupying myself... it helps.....Then Im alone again...Damn ...brain kicks in high gear ....thinking things about her where she is is she thinking about me at all? ....and what not.... I at one point did think what difference would it make if Im here or not... not really contimplating the act but questioning my existance...But then realized that there Will be another there always is its just really hard and that THUMPING ache in my chest when I think of her hurts.....But I know time will heal.....PRE OCCUPIED TIME is the Key I think...But now Im starting to think that I need to some how vent or something....because pre occupation works until not preoccupied then I am caught thinking about her again and again.... SO.. to make the statement to kill ones self over a broken heart is probably more common at a teen lvl? As an adult hopefully life has taught some values as all is not so bleak through past experience.... I KNOW... take my own advice I am trying, it is hard but life is a constant battle .....and think IF you hit rock bottom there is only one way left to go.... UP!

Srry for the rambling...

(reposted)
 ~HAPPY~
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 144
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 5/24/2006 7:30:27 AM
hey there
i know exactly how you feel.i ended up getting a teddy bear to fill my empty embrace,lol.
we can get answers and the exs can say its not you,your great,miss you but..but it will not heal the wounds nor make us see the light.i used to wonder is he out there,then i met him and well now i am in the same situation you are in.it sucks and i just hope that the man or a man will see me for the great woman,lover,best friend i am!!i am no more no less.i have lots to offer myself as well as a loved one/best friend and i just smile and keep walking in life.for the guy walking by may be intrigued by your smile and poise.
this doesnt really answer your question with pain there is no answer that we and our hearts want to see.we need to heal then we shall see that the light.
 tammygirl1056
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 145
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 5/24/2006 7:59:57 AM
HEY I AM SO SORRY I AM 28 AN MY HUSBAND OF 9 YEARS CHEATED ON ME WITH MY MOM WE HAVE 2 BOYS 12 AN 9 AN HE DOESNT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THEM I KNOW IT HURTS ALOT AN YOU FEEL SO LONELY INSIDE AN YOU ARE THINKING WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE DIFFERNT TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT AN YOU MIGHT FEEL LIKE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT GUESS WHAT WE ALL SOMEBODY SPEACIL IT HAS BEEN 5 YEARS SINCE WE HAVE BEEN D AN IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO GET OVER IT BUT OF COURSE WE ARE GOING TO THINK ABOUT WHAT WE HAD AN THE WAY IT COULD HAVE BEEN BUT I THINK THAT WHAT HURTS US CAN ALSO MAKE US STRONGER AN I KNOW YOU WILL FIND A REALLY GREAT GUY THAT WILL LOVE YOU THE WAY YOU SHOULD BE LOVED I PICKED MY SELF UP AN WENT BACK TO SCHOOL AN NOW I AM A R.N. AN I AM RAISEING TO BOYS ON MY OWN AN I GETTING MARRIED IN JULY SO THEY PROVES THAT WE WOMAN CAN BE JUST AS HAPPY WITH SOMEONE ELES AS WE COULD WITH OUR EX NOW I AM SO VERY HAPPY NEVER THOUGHT I COULD BE AFTER WHAT HAPPEN TO ME BUT I AM AN YES I THINK ABOUT HIM WHEN I SEE HIM BUT I JUST TURN A WALK AWAY CAUSE I KNOW I AM A BETTER PRESON AN THERE IS NOTHING HE CAN EVER DO TO HURT ME AGAIN GUESS WHAT NOW HE WANTS ME BACK BUT I AM NOT LOOKING BACK THAT IS THE PAST I HAVE MOVED ON I KNOW YOU CRY YOUR SELF TO SLEEP AT NIGHT JUST LIKE I DID BUT TRUST ME THERE IS LIFE AFTER EX I KNOW WITH ALL MY HEART THAT YOU WILL BE JUST FINE JUST KEEP YOUR HEAD UP HIGH AN YOU WILL SEE THAT YOU WILL FIND A GREAT GUY WHO WILL TRUELY LOVE YOU I DID AN YOU WILL TO
 Dahliakitten
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 146
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this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 5/24/2006 7:57:51 PM
I hurt inside for a mate. But, I won't rush into anything. And I won't stay in an abusive relationship like I'm done in the past.

to mess 206: wow, why did you move? And so far away? A move to another house, another city, another job are individual stressors. And then dealing with the loss of a bad negative relationship is also a stressor. I advise you to get into a support group of some kind. So you don't depending on street drugs or booze, or abusing meds. Not that you are. But, as a human being we turn to whats covenient. Going to a gym is a good idea too. Also, attend a singles church seminar to meet other singles. Even if you don't believe in God.

For me, church and prayer helps me out. For me, it was dealing with an abusive husband, then wild teenage kids. That was a long time ago. My husband passed away 9 years ago. My kids are married and responsible adults now. And I still attend christian and catholic church off and on, all through the years. Now, I am waiting to get bariactric and wrist surgery. So, then, I can go to night law school. Life is what you make of it. With or without a supportive mate by our side. And going to bars and clubs is stupid for me. I don't and can't compete with the little girls who are 18 or 21. My own daughter turned 30 in Feb. My son is 27.
Both of my children were very hurt by previous mates. But, I encouraged them to find a God believeing man and woman. And both did. And both are in healthy relationships. I'm just too picky for being an old broad, older lady, I mean.
 dingedarmor
Joined: 5/8/2005
Msg: 147
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this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 5/24/2006 8:31:09 PM
[it's better to be single and happy than stuck in a rut with a dud. Being single is a great opportunity to grow as a person--to appreciate yourself and your idiosyncrasies. The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled and Independent. ]


Oh, Ms. E! I've found a lot of comfort and wisdom in books and some partial truths, foolishness and misperceptions as well. If you will bear with me for a minute, let's examine the author's aphorism. Being happy is a fleeting state of being--single or joined with another doesn't mean any of us will be happy. At best, we can hope to content or satisfied with our lives. There will always be emotional ups and downs. If there is any happiness in life it is to be content with who we are. Which is what I think the author of that particular statement means. Or as one wise person once observed: before you can truly love another you must first love yourself.

As for duds and ruts--that to is really about perception: is prince charming really prince charming? Isn't he the one who won Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella and Snow White's heart? Say, wait a minute--that sounds more like a player than the ideal fellow! Perception is everything. One person's prince charming is another's dud. And one person's rut is another person's contented life.

Try to focus on the good things in your life and truly enjoy what and who you are.


One very wise old woman once told about how sad she had been as a little girl when her dog died. She stood weeping in the living room of her parent home when her grandfather can into the room and asked her why she was crying. She pointed out the west window and snuffed 'Daddy is burying Prince'. Her grandfather put his arm around her and took her across the room. He said to her,"Ruth, look out the window. What do you see?"
She responded, "I see Saul planting a rose." Her grandfather smiled and replied: "That's right Ruth. Your brother Saul is planting a rose....for you. Life, sweetheart, is what window you look out."
 CUIHOPE
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 148
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 5/25/2006 1:05:44 AM
is there not a line in a song that says . you don't know what it's like . meaning i think that we all feel different . i to was hurt beond repair . but now being two years later . i relize that it was the best think that could have happened . i really truly thought that woman was the best thing that ever came into my life . now i realize she was the worst . whats funny now is that every woman that i talk to thinks i want them , but they can not see past their nose , to reconize the fact that it will take a good woman and alot of time to ever get me to take the big step again . also i wrote a truly honest profile , with no mention of my past and got not one response . so i changed it to be a joke more or less . so what you females could have found out about me in just a moment or two now will take a long long time .
 RichHart
Joined: 5/21/2006
Msg: 149
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 5/25/2006 3:26:13 PM
Dear Ms elegance25,
Hey I feel the same way. I feel like I am never going to get married. I also want to settle down and get married. I am 32 and I live in Indiana. Please respond
 Sentimentalheart1
Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 150
this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!
Posted: 5/25/2006 9:57:44 PM
I dont know the answer to your prayer, but I do know that your definatly not alone>>: )

If I may post this and hope it is not inappropriate in this subect matter.. but here it goes...

I am a devorced male 48 years old , devorced for 8 years and which I was married to for 20 some years.....

I just would like to coment on the spouses on who think it is ok to fool around on your loved one! Yes, I have left the ex wife, that thought it was ok to sleep with my best friend...

But now I have been in a few relationships since .And they are still are deeply scared from the hurt you people that have made such a huge mistrust in their world and in mine!

Now, my coment is this, for all you selfish people out there!
If you must fool around on your partener, please break it off with the one that is dedicated to you and love you for what ever life throws them , EXCEPT you fooling around them!

Reason I am making this statement is because I am really getting sick and tired of being left behind to clean up your sh*t. Having to deal with all those beautiful people that you screwed around on and left them to deal with the hurt that you started!!!
Please have the decentcy to break it off before this happens, so that no more of these beatiful people have to suffer the rest of their lifes and mine , stuggling with relationships dealing with your selfish mis behaviour!!!!
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond!