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 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 20
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Can you be friends with a EX?Page 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
It depends on how drunk I am
 Nighted
Joined: 8/14/2005
Msg: 25
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Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/21/2005 9:48:51 PM
Sure you can. The sex can be great too. ;)
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 27
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Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/21/2005 11:38:49 PM
There are ex's and then there are EX's. I was married, we have a 10 yo son. We would do many things together FOR HIS SAKE. Not because I or she wanted to string out an ended relationship (well perhaps there is some subconscious motives). Anyone else have subconscious motives?

Anyways, now I have a steady GF, and my ex has been more distant. I think the boy told her. And there hasnt' been a lot of joint picnics, and for some reason (partly my fault) the kid isnt signed up for a fall team sport for the first time in years. A month ago, the mom got really pissed off that I was asking my son to read "IF THE BUDDHA DATED", especially since he turned to the chapter on same sex dating! Its not some sex guide, its a relationship book (I didnt want him to be as bad as she or I was at relating to people). So anyway, she yelled and screamed at me in the car on the way to his schools open house, and just about kicked me out on the side of the Interstate. Thats what I dont want him to act like when he grows up!

PS: I aint surprised new BF's or GF's get weird when someone hangs out with an ex (except as described above). Most psychologists and counselors will tell you that isnt respectful of your new partner.
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 31
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Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/22/2005 12:26:35 PM
A person can be friends with a donkey if they want, but, there is a time and a place for relationships of all sorts. You just gotta know whats the most important relationships in your life.
 DeagleNINja
Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 32
Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/22/2005 12:32:26 PM

Is it really possible to be friends with a ex and still carry on with new relatiohsips and be honest about still being involved in their lives and not create jealously?


Well of course it is!
Some of my best friends are ex's *cough*pandy*cough*
 AJ_VJ
Joined: 6/8/2005
Msg: 35
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Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/22/2005 9:33:31 PM
Depends on how you ended it. Sometimes you were meant to "be" as a couple but Friends are different.
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 38
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Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/22/2005 10:26:27 PM
This is whats funny, some threads go on and on about what a cheating, alchoholic, drug addicted unemployed, looser the ex is. Then we get this thread about 50/50 saying people are still "good friends". Oh ok, so there is a different crowd in the different threads.
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 42
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Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/23/2005 12:20:21 AM
Jenny, sometimes somethings dont need to be discussed. Actually people who are really "close friends" with an ex are in the minority. dont get me wrong, I do respect my exwife, and we take the kid places like Chuckecheese on his birthday, etc. Respect and friends are two different things.

He may never want to talk about the demise. YOU NEED TO LOOK AT YOUR SIDE OF THE STREET. thats all you are responsible for in life, and thats a big responsibilty. Resentments are the number one cause of "stress" (or worse). Maybe he was 90% the problem, but, please, its your 10% that you need to reveal honestly to another human being and whoever your God is. And then, WRITE DOWN ON PAPER what you did wrong, and what you could have done differently.

As per not discussing things, I am ashamed to say that a few years ago my ex wife wanted us to be a family again with the then 5-6 yo boy. So she invited me over for a non sexual "sleep over". She had bought a cheap lousy mattress, and my back and neck hurt within minutes, so I told the boy to get out of his bed so I could have his bed and he slept with his mom (maybe you saw that Jerry Springer) episode. Anyway, I was not happy....she cooked some crappy italian sausage for breakfast...AND I LOST MY COOL and yelled about the crappy sausage and lousy bed she bought, and she started crying and that was the worst day of my life......that was 5 years ago....this summer I told her I was truly rude and mean and ruined that chance to get back together again and you know what she said..."I dont even remember it".
 Becks204
Joined: 5/2/2005
Msg: 44
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Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/23/2005 9:08:45 AM
It's definately possible to stay friends with exes. It's probably easier if you were friends before partners, but it depends on each individual being comfortable with it. Sure you may have that twinge of jealousy when they're with someone new, but if you care about them enough to remain friends that you'll get over that because you want them to be happy.
 MissMandy
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 58
Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 10/2/2005 7:12:44 PM
No, I can't.
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 60
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Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 10/2/2005 7:26:30 PM
well, for us; we can, yes.
in fact, we just discussed this in a phone call last week (across the pond)...
we agreed it was ok, normal and healthy even, to continue with friendship.
after knowing each other for 24+ years, who knows us better than the other?!
in fact, it may seem strange, but honestly,
there are few people's opinion that i trust as i do his...

is that weird or what?!
never thought of it this way!
 sammysalt
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 63
Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 10/2/2005 8:15:30 PM
Depends if his new wife ever desides to act like a grown up.
 evers
Joined: 6/25/2005
Msg: 79
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Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 10/14/2005 7:16:01 PM
I def. think that you can be friends with an ex, as long as the both of you want to stay friends. But it also depends on how bad the break up was.

Sometimes you make better friends with your exes:)
 niacouple
Joined: 8/19/2006
Msg: 86
Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/22/2006 1:59:03 AM
I would have to say it would depend on how good the friendship part of the relationship was, I have a couple ex's where the friendship part was really strong, and we are still friends, However I do maintain some distance to keep from rekindleeing old feelings or desires so not to effect a present relations ship and to not put any trust in doubt in a present relationship, but still chat either online or by an occasional phone call. then theres the ones where the friendship was not to strong and those folks,,, well for me its treated like I never knew them.
 groovalicious
Joined: 5/10/2006
Msg: 89
Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/22/2006 2:23:44 AM
If the break up was mutual and both people think that moving on was the right thing to do, then yes. If one person still wants to give things a chance or is still hung up on the other person, then no.

I've been in both situations. My last ex gf wanted to get back together, give things another chance, etc. and I was done. I tried to be friends with her, but in the end, I had to cut off all contact with her because she wouldn't move on and I felt like I was enabling this behavior by continuing to talk to her and see her. On the other hand, the ex gf before her agreed that we should break up and I'm great friends with her and have dinner with her every couple of months.
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 95
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Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/22/2006 6:46:45 AM
Can you reason with plausible premises within viable syllogisms? Can you value the good over the bad? Can your ex?
 kev0469
Joined: 8/14/2006
Msg: 98
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Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 9/22/2006 9:31:19 PM
yes i believe a person can.i am and will always try to be.as to the jealous end why cause yourself more stress.
and yes i am friends with my ex
 niacouple
Joined: 8/19/2006
Msg: 99
Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 10/29/2006 4:48:12 AM
Sure you can be friends with an ex, it depends on the friendship part of the relationship and how the breakup went down, I have one ex who I chat with on occassion, (by phone or email) she has met my present partner, they have chatted a few times, it has become like a brother/sister relationship, she calls when she is feeling down cause I could allways put a smile on her face and make her laugh, there is nothing sexual happening physically or in conversation. I have a couple other exgirlfriends that are simular but not to that extent, in the means that we bump into each other in a store or mall say howdy, have a few minutes of conversation, and all is good. I also have a couple that i would rather see dead as well, and they probley feel the same about me. the little woman is in the same boat, having a couple that are still on talking terms and some that are hated.
 * L *
Joined: 7/13/2007
Msg: 105
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Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 8/1/2007 1:47:25 AM
NO...and why would I want to
if they werent right for me for a close relationship as a couple
they definately arent right for me as a friend which is usually a more emotionally intimate relationship.
 pf141
Joined: 9/14/2007
Msg: 106
Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 7/25/2009 2:01:23 PM
I am friends with ex's. The love I felt for them changes form, but doesn't go away. Afterall there was more than just the physical relationship. I'm not in relationships with men of poor quality or immaturity. These are people I trust, respect and love as a treasured friend, who truly touched my soul with the sweet kindness they showed me.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 110
Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 7/25/2009 6:51:51 PM
I'm friends with ex boyfriends, no sex involved, no friends with benefits.

If I know we weren't meant to be than that's fine. I try to get along with everybody.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 117
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Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:38:22 AM
Yes, depends if you have forgiven and forgotten the reason why you and your ex quareled. Rash words can leave resentment and hurt, but if you can get past the hurt and see the good time you shared, then being friendly is possible. I am not saying a friend you can call but being civil to one another does happen. Look at my sorry ars, if I could do it anyone can.
 singleagain66
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 120
Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:06:13 PM
In some cases yes as I am with a few but overall I am gonna say Hell No because which ever the one that messed up the ralationship will be the one who is wrong and will try to make it yyour fault. So why try to be friends with someone who don't want to own up to the mistake they made or don't want to deal with you anyway after the relationship is over with anyway.
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 121
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Can you be friends with a EX?
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:13:07 PM
I'm friends with a few ex's from my past. But not the last couple immediate ex's
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