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Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 29
Treat them mean,keep them keen or be a gentleman??Page 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Hey ppl, has anyone actually found the recipe for this yet...
I treat em mean they are far from keen....
I keep them keen and they treat me mean....
So how do you treat them mean and keep them keen?

URBAN LENGEND... What a joke...

as for being a Gentleman....

BE YOURSELF and if they can't like that, what's to like then???
You can always get a new life !!!
Joined: 4/25/2005
Msg: 30
Treat them mean,keep them keen or be a gentleman??
Posted: 9/27/2005 4:35:42 AM
I agree with Songblaze.......

It's the gentleman details that make you smile and admire but it's those naughty moments you recall that make you laugh outloud while riding that bike at the gym with your mind wandering and everyone who hears thinks Whoa, where's she been and what was she doing!!!
 Tick Tock
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 31
Treat them mean,keep them keen or be a gentleman??
Posted: 9/27/2005 4:55:14 AM
I'd lean towards being a gentleman but always have that bad side. And don't be afraid to use it when you mean business.
Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 32
Treat them mean,keep them keen or be a gentleman??
Posted: 9/27/2005 5:08:24 AM
RE: tick tock

Great Thread...Man..
You've got the picture...
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 33
Treat them mean,keep them keen or be a gentleman??
Posted: 9/27/2005 5:08:58 AM
^^^ uh huh.

Hey tick just what is your bed side manner???????do tell us inquiring minds.
Joined: 4/25/2005
Msg: 35
Treat them mean,keep them keen or be a gentleman??
Posted: 9/27/2005 5:23:03 AM
wow, a red rose in real life.......that would be a treasure of a man!!!
Joined: 9/9/2005
Msg: 36
Treat them mean,keep them keen or be a gentleman??
Posted: 9/27/2005 5:35:39 AM
Be whoever the hell you are. Quit worrying about what the opposite sex wants. Be true to yourself, be confident in who you are, and the chicks will notice.
Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 37
Treat them mean,keep them keen or be a gentleman??
Posted: 9/27/2005 6:29:28 AM
little bit of both is he trick
Joined: 10/31/2006
Msg: 38
Treat them mean,keep them keen or be a gentleman??
Posted: 1/14/2007 9:51:38 PM
"I usually do the gentleman thing,but i`m still single!!" --- dude, that's why you're single!
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 39
Treat them mean,keep them keen or be a gentleman??
Posted: 1/14/2007 9:54:55 PM
I think there's a huge misconception with the idea of "treating them mean". Just don't smother them so they become sick of your needy ass. You don't need to hold their hand every where, have your arm around them constantly, get jealous all the time, etc, etc. Give them room. Let them hang out with guys, and if they screw around give them the boot. They probably weren't any good anyways.

And this isn't just about how to act with girls.. it goes for guys too. I can't stand having someone hang off my arm all the time.

So with that said, just be a nice guy but don't be a wet blanket.
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 40
Treat them mean,keep them keen or be a gentleman??
Posted: 1/15/2007 12:49:31 AM
I'm always respectfull and a gentleman...
no reason to be an ass towards someone that you're supposed to like or towards anyone else for that
and besides...I'd much rather be known of as a decent guy than that "That jerk" that women are quick to tell thier friends about...
remember..women talk just as much as us guys and all it takes is 1 bad review and you can die a lonely old
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 41
Treat them mean,keep them keen or be a gentleman??
Posted: 1/15/2007 1:47:48 AM
Being a gentleman does not mean being whipped, or cowardly. When I think of a gentleman, I think of a strong man who knows who he is, and has learned how to treat a lady well. Knows when to take the lead and when to fall back, and give her space.
A perfect gentleman can embody the other two options you offered OP, if he does it right.
 The Handy Guy
Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 42
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Treat them mean,keep them keen or be a gentleman??
Posted: 1/15/2007 3:40:30 AM
Nigreal hit the nail on the head...
Ex Farm boy if i not a gentleman my mother would whack me up side the head with a hockey stick...Canadian thing...
Ex chef def cook a mean dinner...Plus I bake, Girls melt for chocolate...
Well to say the least fixed so i love sex....
 Harry Peter
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 43
Treat them mean,keep them keen or be a gentleman??
Posted: 1/15/2007 3:48:33 AM
The question indicates you are willing to change what you are doing and being for the approval of ladies. Any lady worth having is one that can sniff out your facade. In so doing she'll be turned off by you being disingenuous. You may then think that you were being too nice, or that maybe you were being too much of a jerk. Not realizing it was being phony that did it. Just being and doing what you are being and doing to get in their pants. They deal with this crap a lot and are sick of it.

The ladies that fall for jerks (often because of their brand of sincerity) aren't worth having and you are better off alone.

Gentleman? An ok choice. Just don't lose your balls in the process. You'll still get rejected a lot, but by women who aren't worth being with.

If you ask the question out of curiousity, you can ignore most of what I said:)
Joined: 12/12/2006
Msg: 44
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Treat them mean,keep them keen or be a gentleman??
Posted: 1/15/2007 5:36:08 AM
I live in the United States & over hear I used to serve as a waiter...CORONA California - & things may be different & or the same where you are at...I'm not a waiter any more but I'm sure you can ask a few ---What do they think about what I've told you...IT may be totally different...(but don't ask anyone that is under 25 - they probably wouldn't notice a thing)...

About 98% of the women or girls that came in were dressed up... & wanted to be treated to a nice meal in a nice place... The guys that were with them, dressed like young teenagers --& the girls & women seem to like the "RAW" stupid guy that was out of place? (seems like they like the unspoken attention from being with an person that was out of place)... If a girl was with a "CLASSY GUY" the couple acted stuffy & bored...The women seemed like they wanted to break out & have fun...

These guys are naturals at looking stupid & dressing like that ---it also comes from their speech....SO I found out that some of these girls were with the guy because the "GUY" didn't really have much to lose & just spoke their minds to the women / girls because all the guy wants is just a piece of a$$ & the girls fell for the words etc...(The women wanted to break out & have fun...

And of course I couldn't believe that a lot of women like or love to be with a lot of IDIOTS & JERKS & HUMAN TRASH at times --- So that they can "COMPLAIN" or "FIX" the guy...(they want to change you from BAD boy to trained monkey...) If you are "PERFECT" & "INTELLIGENT" you may scare them...& there is NOTHING TO CHANGE...(you almost have to be a savant at something & be child like occasionally --- BUT NOT cheesy - corny - or campy....What you may think is dumb the women may like it & be turned on by it...The women wanted to break out & have fun...

I think there is a certain pattern developing here...DO not act in front of women...Be yourself or be more of the SIMPLE ANIMAL SELF....Don't be afraid to get upset & even angry BUT NEVER LOOSE control about --- something's in front of women --- FOR some reason hot temper seems to excite women / girls...(this may remind them of their dad)

Hope this helped in some way ---- GOOD photos ---

Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 47
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Treat them mean,keep them keen or be a gentleman??
Posted: 1/15/2007 7:36:59 AM
We all know nice guys finish last in the world.

This is so untrue - I love when a fella acts like a gentleman with me - and of course, it brings out the 'lady' in me
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 48
Treat them mean,keep them keen or be a gentleman??
Posted: 1/15/2007 7:45:33 AM
Hmmm the gentleman approach has worked for me. It just got me the girl of my dreams!
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 49
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Treat them mean,keep them keen or be a gentleman??
Posted: 1/15/2007 7:54:46 AM
I think the strategy of "Treat them mean, keep them keen" works on people with low self confidence/self esteem. Men and women.

People who have a good self image will not tolerate being treated poorly.

With a broad sweeping generalization, I think that older people have a better self image than younger, and men typically better then women.

When I was younger, I had a couple of buddies, both of them "Ladies men". I was constantly surprised with how many women they could meet, treat poorly and have them come back for more. At one point, they were looking for a roommate to get a big apartment, and I lived with them.

What I realized, is that a woman's looks have little to do with her self esteem/confidence. The women they appeared with had a poor self image, and (without proof) I believe they felt like this is what they deserved. One evening, one roommate told me before this girl arrived how he was going to put her in her place. I watched in amazement as he went out of his way to speak poorly of her, ignore her, treat her like a servant ... and she put up with it ... and at 9:30, off to his room they went.

If you like women who like themselves, being a gentleman is the way to go.

-- Bob
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 50
Treat them mean,keep them keen or be a gentleman??
Posted: 1/15/2007 8:07:57 AM
be a gentle man just don't be someones doormat
Joined: 12/10/2006
Msg: 51
Treat them mean,keep them keen or be a gentleman??
Posted: 1/15/2007 8:36:47 AM
I will try to make this simple. 4 types of men for the sake of simplicity. Each category may or may not have all of the attributes depending on the man and each list may be missing a few characteristics.

1-Jerk/Bad Boy
Smoker/Drinker/Drug User/Drug Dealer
Tattoos (may or may not)
Abusive-Verbally and/or Physically
Aloof-ignores attempts at closeness
Doesn't keep promises
Doesn't call when he says
Uses women
Sleeps with women and disappears
Gets arrested
Starts fights with GF or at the Bar
Unemployed or underemployed
Exhibits some aspect of an "Alpha Male" but in a dysfunctional manner-female may feel the need to change the male or save or take care of the male, and her self esteem keeps her in the relationship. Female also likes the excitement but lacks the maturity for choosing a good man. This is about the female's bad choices, not because the jerk is good for them.

2-Nice Guy
Tries to hard to please
Calls too much or emails too much
Acts needy
Falls into "game playing trap" easily by either pursuing the female further or not setting limits (e.g. this is not acceptable if it continues we won't be together) since he does not want to lose the woman at any cost. Thinks he won't find another.
Pleads and begs if female decides to leave the relationship instead of withdrawing and implementing "no contact"
Uses niceness as a means of control...if i am nice enough you will be indebted and won't leave
Caters to her every whim for fear she will leave
Can't take control or make decisions
Let's woman make decisions since unsure if what he chooses will be ok
Can be good in bed, only because he is so concerned about pleasing the woman so she won't leave
Lacks confidence
Does not exhibit "Alpha Male" characteristics especially in a group
Giddy wimp and puts up with bad behavior from Female
Unable to set boundaries and puts up with bad behavior
Thinks "Will this woman accept me?"
Low Self Esteem
Asks "Can I kiss you?"

Confident (reasonably since most people have some insecurities, but generally has good self esteem)
Calls when he says
Keeps Promises
Holds open doors
Walks her to her car
Good posture and is polite to everyone all the time, especially in the woman's presence.
Refuses to play games, or smart enough to leave a woman go who does, or reverses the games on the woman by pulling away (opposite of nice guy who pursues further when woman plays games)
Good social skills and can hold a conversation
Intelligent, probably educated
Knows that talking about himself will come, but is interested in what the woman is like first knowing that "people like to talk about themselves"
Never a braggart and does not try to impress the woman with money or status...he simply knows he is good enough and if she disagrees..."NEXT".
Thinks "is this woman right for me?" and watches for red flags.
Compliments the women without being sexual or creepy early in the dating relationship
Pays for (insists on paying) the first 3-5 dates with no problem
Exciting in a good way...plans great dates/activities that get the woman's blood pumping
Moves in for the kiss if he feels the vibe
Not normally interested in one night stands, but has matured into wanting a LT relationship...but in a dry spell may settle for a one night stand
Is kind and caring, but not a wuss (Let me bring you some soup, can I draw you a bath)
Does not try to "buy" love or acceptance
Knows how to cook
Is secure enough to walk away if the woman mistreats him
Sets limits and healthy boundaries even if it means the demise of the relationship
Has self respect and understands he can't please every woman and if it's not working, moves on.
Approaches any woman, anytime, with no fear, understanding that rejection may be pending, but dating is a numbers game and rejection may be a factor of something having nothing to do with him.
Physically fit, healthy, doesn't smoke or drink heavily, very active
Dresses nice when going out from head to toe, always clean and smells good
Never yells and is not verbally or physically abusive, jealous (not overly jealous, most people experience jealousy) or controlling (what are you doing, who are you seeing, what are you wearing, call me every 1/2 hr, etc.)
Understands space and time with her friends away from him is important
Very good in bed since he understands that pleasing a woman is important, but is not good in bed so the woman won't leave him (see nice guy)
Genuinely enjoys making the woman feel good and can be nice without overdoing it.
Cool, calm collected...can shit ice cubes
Generally has his shit together but has flaws and accepts himself anyway knowing no one is perfect
Exhibits "alpha male" characteristics, especially in groups, natural leader, takes control without dominating a female in an unhealthy way...always looks for a woman's input.

4- The Overlapper

Simply put, exhibits qualities from each of the 3 categories above, but upon examination, will ultimately fall into one of the 3 mentioned above. Remember, like attracts like, so a "gentlemen" won't work with a woman who is attracted to "jerks". "Nice guys" won't work with women who want a "gentlemen" or a "jerk". As a gentlemen, you know this and have the confidence to move on and get what you want.
In my OPINION if you want a classy, smart, stable, beautiful woman, (8.5-10) who looks to contribute and give back to a healthy relationship being a gentlemen is the only way to go. As you may have guessed, I am a gentlemen, and being one is easily learned.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 52
Treat them mean,keep them keen or be a gentleman??
Posted: 1/15/2007 8:37:19 AM
I like a man to be a gentleman, but not to the point that he's intimidated by the idea of speaking his mind. Too many guys seem to translate gentleman to mean "doormat" and I (being of strong mind and opinion) prefer a guy to express himself. Also... I've got a ish side, and I love it when a guy can bring that out in me. Men who are too concerned with being perfectly behaved never see that side of me
Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 53
Treat them mean,keep them keen or be a gentleman??
Posted: 1/15/2007 9:27:12 AM
Whoa! Comanche1969, you are someone who gets it! Being a gentleman is the way to go. I hope people notice it means not taking sh*t from a woman and never giving up your personal power to her. Say "no" when it goes against your values or wishes.

I think the equivalent for girls is "be a hot b*tch, or be emotionally mature". I have fun with the hot chicks but I'm ten times more attracted to the mature "marriage material" chicks if they are still sensual.
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 54
Treat them mean,keep them keen or be a gentleman??
Posted: 1/15/2007 1:34:03 PM
A Gentleman is never a doormat!
And wouldn't tolerate rudeness or disrespect towards himself, nor his lady.
I think that is the basis.
What you are willing to put up with yourself is a reflection on how you feel about yourself. A man has to have a healthy ego to be a gentleman in todays society. He has to be strong enough to hold to his principals.
Rudeness and putdowns, game playing and manipulation, are a big turn off to women with healthy egos. Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who allows themselves to be treated poorly by a man?

Ah, there MUST be gentlemen out there still!
Joined: 1/3/2007
Msg: 55
Treat them mean,keep them keen or be a gentleman??
Posted: 1/15/2007 3:11:16 PM
Mean is cowardly.
Keen is something that relationships lose over time, unfortunately.
Gentlemen - they NEVER go out of style. Never.
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