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Show ALL Forums  > Manitoba  > Herpes?      Home login  
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 26
Herpes?Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
It is true the virus sits dormant, and it can not be tested for with blood samples or swabs.
Since I have begun dating, I have asked many questions of my doctor about these things.
It is the fact that it sits dormant that it can be passed on without knowing. You could have
it and not know and pass it onto someone and they could get the outbreak, even though you
have never had an outbreak.
The guy may not have known were he got it from, that does not mean he is dirty in any way
or that he is a player. It just means he may be a victum of circumstance, and that is a sad

The only way to know you have herpes is when the little sore surface and become erritable,
then you can go to the doctor and have them looked at and get meds for it. The herpes virus is in the same family as the chicken pox and lives in the nerves system, it is also part of
the cold sore family and can be transfered by oral incounters. There are others that stem from the same family and shingles is one of them as well and like herpes and cold sores
they can surface when someone is in stress or going through rough times and the body
is at a weak point. All are very contagious when the sores are blistering and seeping. That is when you have to totaly abstain from sex with herpes. Other then that you can enjoy sex
but MUST use condoms, or run the risk of catching it from your partner.

In todays society it is sad that there is so many STDs and they are being spread faster and
getting out of control. It is a selfish world and we must take care of ourselves when it comes
to our health and insist on the use of condoms. If you find a partner that refuses, then move
on to the next, cuz they dont care enough about you or themselves............
 Really Am Me
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 27
Posted: 8/7/2006 6:54:29 PM
I admire the guy who posts it in his profile as he is just saving himself and her heartache later on in the future because exactly when is the right time to tell someone.
 Little Pheonix
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 28
Posted: 8/7/2006 7:02:19 PM
:winkUMMMM ......UPDATE ......people....doesn't everyone think we should all be using condoms in this day and age anyway.: Unless ya wanna be diggin your grave earlier than you need.Yes even the females should be using... . ..the female condoms too.Unless you are in a.....totally momogamous relationship.Play safe people,.......or ya won't be playin at all.
Joined: 9/27/2005
Msg: 29
Posted: 8/7/2006 7:04:21 PM
Even if you're in a monogamous relationship...when it comes to STDs...what happened in the past can still come back today.
 Really Am Me
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 30
Posted: 8/7/2006 7:06:27 PM
^^^^ took the words right out of my mouth!
 Little Pheonix
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 31
Posted: 8/7/2006 7:06:50 PM
Dano yes you are so right,but most and i say most....not all....STD's can be cured.
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 32
Posted: 8/7/2006 9:10:53 PM
and just for the enquiring minds, How do you cure aids or even the herpes virus, not to mention clymidia?
Did you know that if you contract clymidia you are legally obligated to tell your partner?, but you are not legally obligated to tell your partner if you have herpes. That is something else I learned by asking questions to my doctor.

Edit: and is it the woman's responsablity to supply the condoms, or should the man be perpared to have some on hand? I think they should both be prepared and both should have some on hand at all times..................

I have dated men that are not prepared so I have some on supply, but do really think he should have some too, just incase.
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 33
view profile
Posted: 8/7/2006 10:11:50 PM
Male/ female it doesn't matter. Always be prepared and use them. My hats off to this guy for his honesty.
Joined: 8/4/2006
Msg: 34
Posted: 8/7/2006 10:22:29 PM
I agree that this man has guts to reveal that he has herpes. By doing so, I think probably he'll get responses from women who also have herpes. There are not different "strains" - there is just herpes 1 (cold sores) which 90% of us have the antibodies to, and is usually oral, and herpes 2 which is usually genital. Because of the prevalence of oral sex, in some countries, herpes 1 on the genitals is the fastest growing type of herpes. So, to be safe, we should all be using protection (such as dental dams) for oral sex as well. Did you know that about 25% of the adult population has herpes 2? And a lot of people DON'T KNOW they are carriers - they either have mild symptoms that they overlook, or mistake for something else- or they have never had an outbreak.
I'm going to stick my neck out, because I hate hypocrisy, and tell you all that I contracted herpes this year, from a man whom I was in mutual love with, and who didn't know he had it or so he claimed. I dumped him. It's been devastating - the stigma from this illness is HUGE - as evidenced from the "EWWW" comment. And it's epidemic - a lot of people don't dare tell, they are very lonely people. Some don't bother dating because they so dread having "The Talk". I know of lots of couples who are married - one is positive, the other is not, and they are fine. They have learned how to be careful.
There are lots of dating websites for people who are herpes positive.
You want to know the most depressing fact about herpes? Condoms are only about 50% effective. The outbreaks and between-outbreak "shedding" of the virus can occur on parts of the body that are not covered with a condom. I know people who have outbreaks on their buttocks or their thighs.
Finally I'll tell you that routine screening for STD's does NOT include a test for herpes. You must ask for and insist on the Western blot specific test. Many people get mis-diagnosed. The ignorance out there is incredible.
I am embarassed to say that in the past, I may have wrongly judged people with herpes - I assumed they were "promiscuous". It can happen to you the first time you have sex, and are using protection.
Sorry to be a downer, but them's the facts.
Fortunately they are working on a vaccine, and I just heard on the news that there may be a new treatment coming out soon - it works on HPV (venereal warts which cause cervical cancer) and is being studied for herpes.
Think carefully about your behaviour and if you have any unusual symptoms down there, see a doctor.
 Lil Redneck
Joined: 1/28/2006
Msg: 35
Posted: 8/7/2006 10:27:34 PM
I absolutly admire your courage. I hope you put some azzholes in there place. Thankyou for your integrity. You are by far a remarkable human.

That's right this fishy gets a falking gold star and I hope one day there is a cure
that can help folks in your situation. I know my disease was discovered in 42 and there is huge headway in the treatments but still no cure and I hope yours comes first because there are more people with your issue then mine.

Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 36
Posted: 8/7/2006 10:56:21 PM
AMEN itty.

I was with a couple ballerinas in Calgary where i was mounting one from behind(my ex) and she was about to go down on her buddy and said WHOA! WTF is that?!?!?!?!

She had NO IDEA she had herpies. Probably passed it on to a few folks too cuz thats how sexual she is..
She was a dirty girl and i mean DIRTY... her office reputation... Nothing but a sexpot.

Probably how she got to where she was in her profession. ****ed every boss she ever had.

Not sure how she got my ex under her spell but that was it.

We took her to the hospital the next day and tada... herpies...
We dropped her like a bad habit.

NOW... ive never met anyone or had anyone with a lifestyle like hers.
And I hope i never do.
Some people think they met their dream date and BANG youve got some kinda disease.

I dont have a risky lifestyle, not into drugs and whatever... Dont smoke joints with people showing open sores.

Its up to a persons personal standards. If youre stupid youre open to contracting these diseases.
Always helps to know how to spot a possible inflection... person/lifestyle/scene too.
Joined: 8/4/2006
Msg: 37
Posted: 8/7/2006 11:38:50 PM
I found your post a bit, um, too graphic, and I disagree with you. Intelligent and moral people can also get "these diseases". I know a woman who was brutally raped and contracted herpes. I also know of a couple married 25 years, faithful to each other, and the woman was just diagnosed with herpes. Apparently her husband is positive, but he didn't know - it was dormant all those years - he got it before he married her.

I just can't believe how many well-educated people are ignorant about herpes, and how many people in my age bracket go out dating after 20 or 30 years in a marriage, and don't use protection.
And I'm not sure what a "dirty girl" or a "sexpot" is. Some people are very sexual and that's fine, but if they are indiscrimate and dishonest, then they might subject innocent people to their diseases. Personally I don't believe the person who passed it on to me, that he had "no idea". He had symptoms down there in the past, but maybe just never bothered to get it diagnosed.
Live and learn, but what a hard lesson to be stuck with a virus for life.
Thanks for the kind remarks Little Kitty.
Joined: 4/4/2006
Msg: 38
Posted: 8/8/2006 5:49:29 AM
It's great to see integrity in a person,so my hats off to anyone admitting he or she has herpes. Yes, anyone can get it. A woman I dated for a while got it from an ex-boyfriend when he had a cold sore and went down on her.(We broke up for other reasons). My other experience was having a woman tell me her herpes was bothering her while we were in the act. Thank God for safe sex.
Joined: 9/6/2005
Msg: 39
Posted: 8/8/2006 7:22:39 AM

and just for the enquiring minds, How do you cure aids or even the herpes virus, not to mention clymidia?
Did you know that if you contract clymidia you are legally obligated to tell your partner?, but you are not legally obligated to tell your partner if you have herpes. That is something else I learned by asking questions to my doctor.

I'm sure you know there is no cure for AIDS/HIV, or Herpes. Chlamydia is cured by an antibiotic like Erythromycin or Zithromax. Penicillin doesn't work on it...

A few years ago, I worked in a doctor's office. I can assure all of you, that what people are "legally bound" to share with a partner does not occur a great percentage of the time. I can also tell you, that if a person tests positive for HIV/AIDS, they are supposed to contact thier partners for the last 10 years. People LIE. If someone refuses to comply, the City of Winnipeg Health Department will get involved to send a letter...yup, just a letter urging them to get tested...but they have to get the names first. There are no morality police, no-one to enforce to moral and legal, sometimes, obligation of telling a partner you have a communicable disease. I suppose one could try and sue the person who gave them a disease, but if it is curable, I reckon the suit wouldn't go anywhere.

Cervical cancer is also now being considered an STI. I was infuriated when my aunt told me that in 1991!!! I had cervical cancer at 17, (1989) and had had ONE partner. Apparently my partner had seen more than a few got treated for it, but it reappeared, and took my ovary and uterus with 2001. I was 28. I opted for removal of everything, can't get cancer on what you don't have...

It's sad that there is such a stigma. If I ever said EWW or gross! or anything like that to a patient in the clinic who was being tested, I would have been fired on the spot. I seen a few things that made me raise my eyebrows, but I'm sure anyone who has worked for an STI clinic has.

When a person says they have a clean bill of health,enquire about AIDS tests and bloodwork done, and how long ago. I believe it was Gypsy who mentioned the 3 month window, and she is correct--12 weeks from your last contact with the person's body fluids-- I know I'm gonna ask some questions about the tests I alreay know the answers to. If they have a wrong answer, I know they are lying about it. For instance, about an HIV test. I might ask about the protocol. If anyone says "just a regular test" for instance, or something along those lines, they are lying. There is a protocol in place that has existed since 1985, and has never changed. It is followed everytime someone asks for an AIDS test.

A blood test can determine if you have syphilis. It's called VDRL. It is automatically done during routine testing of pregant women, and contrary to popular thought, pregnant women are ot 'automatically' screened for HIV or Hepatitis. They can ask, and the OB/GYNE will suggest it, but it is not routine...I heard that one alot, too..."You mean it's not automatic?"

I still maintain my original position that it takes alot to come out and say you have one...especially one as stigmatized as Herpes. It is expected in a relationship, commendable in a forum...

Kudos.... and swim safe...

Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 40
Posted: 8/10/2006 6:50:22 PM
She could have just insisted on the condom, and said nothing, but she told the truth. There it is people, Tell the Truth.

TwoShadows: Did you still date her and sleep with her after you knew?
Joined: 4/19/2006
Msg: 41
Posted: 8/10/2006 7:46:38 PM
Get the straight dope at... thrice W dot sexualityandu dot see eh

Google is your friend, people. :)
 Forever or never
Joined: 5/21/2006
Msg: 42
Posted: 8/10/2006 8:02:15 PM
If someone has an STD ,, it's only right to tell someone that you are dateing ,, HE/ SHE is going to find out someday if the relationship grows ,,, it's best to lay it all out on the table .......................................
Joined: 4/17/2006
Msg: 43
Posted: 8/10/2006 8:11:35 PM
I would date a guy with Herpes, but date only, no sex.
Joined: 4/4/2006
Msg: 44
Posted: 8/11/2006 6:04:55 AM
Carmen- Yes we continued to date,but we were more like friends. We never did have sex,even though I would have liked to.
Joined: 8/4/2006
Msg: 45
Posted: 8/11/2006 10:30:50 AM
twoshadows, just a gentle reminder. The other lady, if her herpes was bothering her during sex, it sounds like she was having an active outbreak which would make her very infectious. Please know that a condom does not provide complete protection. Herpes can occur anywhere in the "boxer shorts" area. Have you been tested for herpes? It is not a routine STD test - you must specifically ask for it, and even then the doctor has to know which test to request from the lab - it must be the Western blot or igg test, to let you know which type you have. The fact is that the majority of people with herpes don't even know that they have it. Scary. That's why it's spreading like a grass fire.
 dream mate
Joined: 12/22/2005
Msg: 46
Posted: 8/11/2006 11:14:52 AM
This is one of those things that modern medecine can't cure.

I saw some of this while exporting Dairy Cattle Embryos. The Vet could wash the disease protein off the cell wall but couldn't get the ones that attach themselves to the DNA structure. There needed to be a way for the antibiotic to get through the cell wall and wash the protein away from the DNA.

I do believe the cure for this and other things like Cancer, Aids, Sarchoidosis etc....will come when we figure out a way to do this. The ones that we can't cure are all like this, attached to an open spot in the gene structure. That is why they affect people differently, differen't genetic structures.

I think we need to go back into our ROOTS to find the answer. Garlic can have a big effect on our immune system and help strengthen overworked Immune Systems.(bring on the back-up)

I have a theory Garlic is the key that researchers have overlooked. Suppose Garlic has a chemical reaction with an antibiotic which allows it to penetrate the cell wall and clean the protein off the DNA structure? Would that be too simple? I am not a Scientist, but it might just work.

BTW...KYOLIC....aged Garlic Extract.....packs a punch and doesn't stink.
Joined: 4/4/2006
Msg: 47
Posted: 8/11/2006 1:14:15 PM
My gosh,suddenly this thread is about me defending myself. But yes,Titian,I HAVE been tested specifically for Herpes(and a few other things) and everything is fine. I don't know if the woman actually had herpes. I think it may have been part of a ploy to simply stay at my place with no expectations. Originally she had said she wanted to stay with me for the week and have lots of sex,and then of course no sex once she was there. She was on welfare,so I think she was wanted to sponge off me for a while.
Joined: 4/4/2006
Msg: 48
Posted: 8/12/2006 6:24:00 AM
No worries Carmen. No offense taken.
 Lil Redneck
Joined: 1/28/2006
Msg: 49
Posted: 8/12/2006 7:31:46 AM
Frankly two shadows it's assistance and for your information I feel insulted that you
would indicate that people on welfare (assistance) are ALL on the take.
Please find another way to describe a person of that mindset instead of increasing that stigma. Thankyou.
And you people wonder why kitty backs away from you's........Wow. I shake my head at all of you folks that do can spell but seems many of you still insist on being small with your assuming comments. You have a nice day fella.
Joined: 8/4/2006
Msg: 50
Posted: 8/12/2006 9:12:14 AM
Twoshadows I meant no offense whatsoever. It was simply an FYI for you and for anyone else happening to read this. If I can manage to save even one person from the misery of herpes by educating people, then it will give me some satisfaction. How do you think I felt after the comments of some of the people in this thread?
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