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Show ALL Forums  > Manitoba  > Herpes?      Home login  
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 76
Herpes?Page 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Some of the STDs can be treated and gone as long as you dont get reinfected. The herpes virus is with you for ever more.........yes it can be treated when you have an outbreak, but it remains in your system, and can be transfered through intercoarse.
Joined: 3/6/2005
Msg: 77
Posted: 9/14/2006 6:50:49 PM
Before we all get too judgemental or anything, how many people have ever had a cold sore?? Yup thats herpes. so there is a range of things that people experience , with different levels of risk. Its alot easier to say yes i get cold sores once in a while, vs i am hiv positive. Yes people need to be telling prospective partners about health concerns, there is no getting around that, but some things are for between the partners involved, at a time when it feels right and before there is risk of infection. Cudos to the guy who is open about it, but more important is being open and honest with our partners.
 Spring 4th
Joined: 2/12/2006
Msg: 78
Posted: 9/14/2006 10:21:29 PM
Kudos to the guy with herpes. Not for having it, but for dealing with it in the correct manner.

It is nothing to be ashamed of. I've had chicken pox. Its just one form of herpes. Have you had chicken pox?

I've also spent a number of years with a partner who has herpes. She was open, up front, and very, very careful. She is a wonderful enough person that I was given the choice of continuing the relationship. I'm very glad that I did. This was not her choice to have the virus. Someone did not tell her. Someone wasn't honest.

Care, observation and medication work. We were both aware and well informed. It made the difference. The honesty worked. I do not have herpes.
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 79
Posted: 9/14/2006 11:16:57 PM
i can't say enough good things over people with herpes of any form and the courage and respect they show others by telling others..wether friends or a prospective partner they have this horrible disease.

what makes me ill thinking of it, the lack of knowledge of so many people!! a cold sore is a herpes disease...and can be transferred to the gential areas!!!people need to educate themselves and not rely on what they hear second its not always accurate....

i have a sister who got it from her now husband(been married over 15 yrs)...and he had no idea he even carried the disease!!..she has gone through the whole horrors a female can from it..for over 15 years!!

omgg..she would kill me she knew i said this openly.....but i learnt by her moron and not knowing!! he never had a outbreak to his/our knowledge...(not apologizing over my opinions of him..personal years experience)

p/s condoms are no protection from herpes as its out of the cover area most times!!..oral also can transfer the disease *if* the information i was told is true!! with the medical information now a days; who can honestly say they trust dr's 100%!!!

p/s just grumpy tonite over dr's and thier lies!!
 dream mate
Joined: 12/22/2005
Msg: 80
Herpes? What if there is a cure?
Posted: 9/19/2006 1:51:33 PM
What if there was a cure for this disease, as well as Cancer and all the other myriad of diseases the Dr.'s and Drug Companies don't want to fix?

What if this technique was discovered in the 1930's, but covered up and burried so the status quo we have today "sorry, we can't cure that" is the normal acctpted time honoured tradition?

What if you would loose your brass ring? Would you cover up or tout and promote? not read this if you want to maintain the accepted traditions.... An other fishie posted this link. I just read it and am passing the info on.
Joined: 7/21/2007
Msg: 81
Herpes? What if there is a cure?
Posted: 8/27/2007 3:04:39 AM
Well I REALLY do wish that I could say that I did not have the condition but I do.

As a result, dating and recreation for me have become considerably more difficult and I have grown more responsible in trying to make sure that others do not get it from me. I commend the guy who put it upfront in his profile, remember he is trying to protect you ladies out there as well.
As for me, I have created this profile in order to get in touch with others in the same situation as I.

I was given the virus from an ex who had neglected to tell me about it although she had hinted to me after we had sex for a month or 2, in advance of my breakouts, that she had done something wrong and that I would leave her because of it, she enever even told me then what exactly it was. 4 months later, after I started having break outs, I grew to resent her very much so. I felt backstabbed and as though I was trapped. I later learned in the relation that I could not at all trust her in regards to other things as well. In an intimate relation, trust is unreplacable and when it is gone, it is usually gone for good. As a result, the relation eventually ended and I have grown far more spiritual in regards to the situation of being single and afflicted with such a condition. I feel that I am true victim of circumstances and I know that there are others out there that are victims of circumstances as well.
The ensuing bouts of celibacy have been very purifying for me and I hope that it helps lead me to a good, spiritual mate, hopefully with the same condition as I.

It is absolutely of the best ethics to let those who you date know about it before the relation takes a turn for the physical. This is brutally difficult and can be very stressful to do. But, in the end, I believe it will build a stronger, more confident character if you practice it enough.
It almost seems that the sooner you tell the better as it can actually help you weed out those who might not be for you anyways. Good people will always respect the honesty and understand that it is a difficult thing to admit to. Most will at least be open to being friends if a relation fails to blossom because of it. & you can judge a person by their reaction to it just as they might judge you for having it to begin with despite your honesty, courage and responsible demeanour.

I have the condition because my ex never told me that she had it and I know I would have appreciated some upfront honesty before jumped in the sack.
I have chosen not to do something like that to other people because I cant live with that on my conscience. I am actively look for females who have it to date and get to know. I have dated non- "H" females but I will not sleep with them even if they are open to it after I am upfront with them. Basically I tell them in the hopes that one day I will get a pleasant suprise back one day and have someone I am intersted in tell me that they have it too.

Quite often, the individual with "H" are scared to get too close to whom they are dating because it is already half planted in their heads that the relation can still fail once they drop the "H-bomb" or so they say. They do not want to get hurt and as the relation grows closer, the reality of getting dumped becomes more real, thus the ability to tell them also grows more difficult. It is easier to conceal it because it protects ones feelings......
The fear also arises that they will have broken any trust with the new partner once they find out about the once secret condition because they had kept it secret for so long..... This is a very scary situation to be in and it can be avoided altogether by just telling them from tight off of the bat.

What will be will be after that.....

The individual with "H" becomes scared of "too many people" knowing about it or of being shot down by someone they really have feelings for.
They are scared of ensuing gossip, being judged, ridiculed and perhaps even teased about the condition. It has a real stigma attached to it and makes the individual feel unbearably ugly and unacceptable, even to themselves.

This fear of others knowing about it could be all it takes to not tell a potential date right off of the bat and it is a very real fear. Unfortunately, it is this same fear that helps the virus to spread should the invidual have sex with his/her unknowing partner.

I say kudos to the guy who has been straightforward and honest about his condition on his profile. Before those of you who do not live with the condition judge him, ask yourself if you would be able to do the same if you were in his shoes.

If you are female and have the condition as well, feel free to send me a message on here and we can chat.
Joined: 8/16/2006
Msg: 82
view profile
Posted: 8/27/2007 4:18:19 AM
I know a few people with herpes and if they came out and told me that is cool you never know what people have and who they have been with so you have to use the proper things to preventthis stuff from happening my little sister she got clymidia from her bf cause he banged this chick while she was pregnant so after that they had sex when the baby was born and that they both went to the doctors to get checked i get checked lots you have to ask for the herpes and the aids and other tests to be done but when im at the doctor's i ask for every single test there is out there you have to be safe but i have read alot of stories from people who have herpes on here and you know what I give them credit for being the bigger person and letting others no they have it. I don't care If people have diseases and crap cause the truth is if they tell you at least you know and u dont have to sleep with them. I've been really lucky in that way never have caught anything but i think sex should be with someone u do care about as well yah everyone has there flings but make sure u are sober and u aren't picking a total stranger
Joined: 8/16/2006
Msg: 83
view profile
Posted: 8/27/2007 4:20:01 AM
also there is a treatment out there for herpes no cure but it makes it so you dont have any out breaks it is in the states i believe I know this cause my friends gf has herpes and he is paying for her treatment so you guys might wanna check it out might save you some discomfort anyways i hope you all play safe and have fun
Joined: 7/1/2007
Msg: 84
Posted: 8/27/2007 8:20:13 AM
Amber, I just want to clarify something you have said. The treatment IS in Canada too, and has been for years. There are 2 types...Valtrex and Acyclovir. Acyclovir is way cheaper. Famvir is a 3rd option only available in the states.
What Valtrex and Acyclovir do is they greatly reduce outbreaks in MOST people. However, Herpes can be transmitted between outbreaks (and so can cold sores, which can cause genital herpes via oral sex). The medications if taken on a daily basis also reduce the chance of transmission between outbreaks. If people abstain from sex between outbreaks, uses a condom and are on daily meds the chance of transmission is only 1% from a woman to a man, and 2% from a man to a woman. Also, if you are on antivirals, and your partner does get Herpes, it has been shown that in the few cases of transmission, the chances are that their outbreaks will not be very bad, in fact, like most people with Herpes, they probably won't even KNOW that they got it because their symptoms will be so mild.

Also, I know you say you ask to be tested for everything, which is great, because you are right, Herpes and Hep-B are not automatically tested for. However, I hate to inform you Amber, the only 2 accurate tests are the IgG and the Western Blot, and they are not readily administered here except under certain circumstances. So, the chances are you actually haven't been tested for herpes properly:-( Also, have you been tested for cold sores (typically HSV1), because almost 60% of people with those do not know they have them...and a large majority of the adult population has them.

As to the topic of the thread...I think its admirable for someone to say something upfront. Unfortunately, due to the ridiculous stigma surrounding Herpes, and the fact that testing and education surrounding the topic is not widespread, many people are too afraid of the reaction they will get. However, if one waits and gets to kow a partner first, then the chances of rejection go way down. Unfortunately what can happen then is that people get close and then it may be harder to say something, or things get too heated sexually and then if the "deed" is done, its even harder again. I know many people with Herpes who actually have gone into denial about it (because they have only had one outbreak, or very very mild symptoms), and its almost like they believe they don't have it! The sooner the stigma is erased, and testing is made readily available (in Canada), and the sooner people learn that 30% of new cases of genital herpes are actually being caused by HSV1 (mostly from cold sores), the sooner telling will become a non-issue. Other treatable viruses such as Chlamydia and Syphullus are a lot more dangerous. Sure they can be treated, but again, most people have no idea they have it! Herpes is a nuisance virus...thats all. And yet it carries with it the Stigma of the plague. Ridiculous!! It is said almost every adult will have at least 1 STD in their lifetime and probably not even realise it. It is, unfortunately, a reality of sex and should not carry with it the label of sleaziness or "dirtiness" as it often does. Disclosure should not have to be a confession. It should simply be a discussion, that involves both people talking about their sexual and testing histories, just as one would discuss condoms or birth control. Chances are one or both partners have never been tested and may very well have something "silent".
There is a new dating website just being launched Sep 1(people can already sign up)called which actually gives people the option of disclosing things like STD's and sexual orientation or lifestyle preferences, and if a person is accepting of it, or willing to accept it etc. The info is kept private - all you know is if you match or not, but if you don't, you would never know why? Hard to explain here, but its a novel concept for people on both side of the fence and should help with disclosure. Its also a regular dating site with amazing state of the art features, chat rooms, games etc, which gives people a chance to actually get to know each other a bit more. Very cutting edge technologically and socially. Anyone with a fear of disclosure (about any senstive issue), or anyone worried that a partner will not be honest, should check it out.
Actually, everyone should check it out, as most people have a secret of some sort:-)
Kudos to the guy who is upfront about H!!!! I just hope he is as concerned about what he can get from his new partners, as he is about telling them about H. Thats the problem. People with H feel so guilty, that they forget to worry about themselves and they matter too!
Joined: 3/15/2007
Msg: 85
Posted: 8/27/2007 8:21:41 AM
I had this patient once she had herpes we put her in isolation.....what's wrong with isolation?
Joined: 8/17/2007
Msg: 86
Posted: 8/27/2007 6:30:56 PM
I think you should be in isolation for your thinking and comment.
Joined: 12/17/2006
Msg: 87
Posted: 8/29/2007 6:44:32 PM
^^^^^^ like he said. Oh the ignorance of some people.

And thank you sweetnfeisty1 for the excellent information.
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 88
Posted: 8/29/2007 7:53:18 PM
ive been reading here and have to agree with bbq here ,,,,,,,,,,,,you should be put in isolation,,,,,,,,,, thats just nasty,, i have friends and family member with herpe's and thats totally unfair,,,,,,,,,,,,,, they did not ask for it but they are takin all precautions to spread it to others and have no problem letting partners that it is present people like you make me ill,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ready to blame ,,, ready to pass judgement ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,WHATEVER


Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 89
Posted: 8/29/2007 7:59:41 PM
OH she ra whoever ,,,,

being in health profession you should know better,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, period

 Little Pheonix
Joined: 8/6/2007
Msg: 90
Posted: 8/30/2007 2:33:29 PM

I had this patient once she had herpes we put her in isolation.....what's wrong with isolation?

Icannot believe what i just read.What's wrong with isolation you say? Well how about you get put in there, throw the damn key away too
,nobody to talk to,going crazy,and for what....herpes of all freekin things.
You being in the health care field should be extremely ashamed of this,as you did take part in it.
What was the poor woman doing before being put in...JAIL????
Was she possibly going around at night sitting on people's faces,and maybe fu*king them,i highly doubt that.
Maybe you should let us all know where this place is so we never end up there!!!!!!
What a sad,sad, individual!
Joined: 7/1/2007
Msg: 91
Posted: 8/30/2007 3:18:19 PM
I choose to believe She-Ra is NOT in the medical profession and it just an individual with a very sick and warped sense of humour. I realise that there is ignorance out there, but surely nobody can be that stupid!! Well She-Ra....if it was meant to be funny - it wasn't! Not even a tiny bit.
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 92
Posted: 8/30/2007 4:24:49 PM

good post ,,, well said,,,,,,,,,,
and as far a my comment due to medical profession ,,," when she said "patient" i assumed bad move on my part ! "

Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 93
Posted: 10/13/2007 6:43:06 AM
I have the condition myself, so dont call him a freak. People that have a condition are not freaks, we are just like you and everyone else. I am sure you have a condition whether be mental, physical, or emotional but no one judges you. I would date someone who has herpes. so before you go calling people names you need to look in the mirror and say it to yourself and see how it feels.
Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 94
view profile
Posted: 10/14/2007 9:06:39 AM
Now ask me why I never will "take home a hunny" from the bar...

No way is a night of pleasure worth a life time of regret... So I thought to myself I'd try this internet dateing....

Well whole new set of lessons needed to be learned, there is no regulation as to the extent of fantasy and fiction that people can write about them selves... no "standards" , etc.

So I figure this is the safest way to meet someone "outside" of my lil "bubble" ( being those i work with / for, places i normally go, my friends and thier friends, etc, etc ) .

When in my twenties the chances were rather remote ( relativly speaking ) when I slept around ( way before getting married ); Now with people in thier 30's and 40's ( they could have had thousands of partners ) the risks are ... um enormous... scarey allmost !

So I'll quietly go back to my thinking that I'll connect with some one on the level that I need, ( similiar beliefs, morals, standards, awareness, kindness, compassion, emotions, etc ) and if they have a pic that is accurate... and we meet ....

Well I'd be happier than a pig in shiet ! But untill that day / person comes allong... it's back to abstenence and investigation....

Cuase i don't want " the gift that keeps on giving". Oh and btw.... kudos for anyone "putting it out there" right up front ! He or she should be given a pat on the back. And busturds and biatches who go about "shareing" thier gift to unsuspectting people.... those are the selfish types that can't be trusted and should be put in isolation!! Yes poor joke by what's -her- face, a ways back....

But I can see that some selfish people should be.... hmmm isolated ? Shot? whatever!
Knowing something and spreading "anything" to an unwitting someone is just plain wrong....

Joined: 4/4/2006
Msg: 95
Posted: 10/14/2007 3:20:27 PM
Sue Johansson(forgive me if spelling is incorrect) of the Sunday Night Sex Show says that using the female condom is more effective than the male condom in preventing the spread of herpes. That is,if you figure how to get the damn thing in!
Joined: 11/19/2006
Msg: 96
Posted: 10/14/2007 6:16:16 PM
From the helpful Planned Parenthood website:

Detailed instructions for correct use are included in the packaging for the female condom. Be sure to read and understand them before you use it.

To insert the female condom, lubricate the closed end. Squeeze together the sides of the inner ring at the closed end of the condom and insert it into the vagina like a tampon. Push the inner ring into the vagina as far as it can go — until it reaches the cervix. Withdraw your finger and let the outer ring hang about an inch outside the vagina.

During intercourse, movement of the condom from side to side is normal. Stop intercourse if the penis slips between the condom and the walls of the vagina or if the outer ring is pushed into the vagina. If ejaculation has not occurred, gently remove the condom from the vagina, add extra lubricant, and insert it once again.

To remove the female condom, squeeze and twist the outer ring to keep semen inside the pouch. Gently pull it out of the vagina. Throw it away. Do not flush. Do not reuse.

Also... do not taunt the female condom.

Advantages of Female Condoms

Once learned, insertion is easy, and female condoms:

* allow women to share responsibility for preventing infection
* are very easy to get — can be purchased in drugstores and some supermarkets
* can be inserted by a partner as part of sex play
* can be used by people who are allergic to latex
* can be used with oil-based as well as water-based lubricants
* do not have an effect on a woman’s natural hormones
* may enhance sex play — the external ring may stimulate the clitoris
* do not require a prescription
* stay in place whether or not a man maintains his erection

Google remains your friend, people. There's tons of information out there so we all can learn more about how to effectively practise safer sex... no matter who (or how many) our sexual partners are, or the context of our relationships with them. Getting the right information is important... because as nice as it sounds, staying out of bars and sharing morals have been clinically proven to provide 0% protection from sexually transmitted infections.
Joined: 7/1/2007
Msg: 97
Posted: 10/14/2007 11:56:27 PM
Great info spellingbee. Dental dams and condoms are also not widely used for oral sex, but are great protection.
And yes, well amount of staying out of bars or only connecting with "the right type of person" has any real bearing whatsoever on whether one gets an STD or not. STD's are viruses and some are bacteria, plain and simple. It is well documented that almost the entire population who has had sex at least once, will have an STD at some point in their life, and most will NOT EVEN KNOW IT. 80% have HPV, 25% have genital herpes, and at least 60% (and probably more) have oral herpes/COLD SORES - which they now know causes at least 30% of new cases of genital herpes. (OHSV1)
Considering you can get cold sores as an infant, and be a virgin to have oral sex, how people can still believe that morals and lifestyle really have anything to do with it is beyond me
Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 98
view profile
Posted: 10/15/2007 6:46:24 AM
^^^^ so you above ^^^^^
Your telling me that if I don't have sex I will still get an std ??? Hmmm. I believe i know what you are saying you just blew the delivery !
[/quote how people can still believe that morals and lifestyle really have anything to do with it is beyond me ] I still don't know how to highlight quotes.. is that sad or what ?

REALLY ???? Oh I can get so arguementitive on a dumb point it's silly.

I believe the point you were trying to make is .... innocent people can make mistakes in judgement and sleep with one of those that either ...
don't care about infectting others or with some one that doesn't know they have something.

Yes folks that's right.... just once without protection you can get pregnant, catch a "bug' or get killed...

You cannot judge everyone by what happens to them. I believe is the point.

STDs don't just happen to sleeze bags and whores.... anybody can get them!
Oh and btw.... my choices are not primarily based on fears of infection...

it's more of a make love versus flucking.... They are not the same !!! Many may believe they are but they are not.... pity those who know not the difference... no wait pity those that do.... for they are cursed with the awareness of knowing the difference.

So yes i do need ..... looking for in all the wrong places ??? LOL
Joined: 10/12/2006
Msg: 99
Posted: 10/15/2007 6:51:47 AM
Please don't take this the wrong way EDjoe..but I think you are a "hypocrit"..hope I spelled that right...

and thanks to those people who share so much insight!
Joined: 1/3/2007
Msg: 100
Posted: 10/15/2007 8:37:50 AM
I think Ed is trying to does not matter if the person he ends up with has herpies cuz he chooses to love all parts of his partner not just the perfict aspects of a human...i think Ed means sex to him is a higher level than a simple connection and if he did sleep with them he must have love on the table and then with that level hepies is a non not miss his message....that is how i interpret what he is saying....
I agree with traditional values of having a higher level in the act some call casual i right ed? A simple micro is a non issue if your with someone who completes the circle in love and not simple lust....cuz the level of commitment is not effects it is in the giving to another not recieving...cuz it feel's nice to give your spirit and be recieved on equal ground and put aside the medical issue as a non issue......check... yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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