Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Religion  > Depression      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 twinkz
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 55
DepressionPage 6 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I feel miserable 90% of the time. My problems stem from a bad marriage. I seemed to be the only one trying to keep us going. Hub has a bad temper and a gambling problem. he did recently start making positive changes. I started counceling and realized i didn't know me anymore. My life revolves around hubby and my 3yr old girl. I have thought about taking meds but that would be avoiding the problem instead of facing it straight on! I made a decission that i was going to make more time for me and less time focused on my family. Less time on what hubby thinks or how he's going to react to everything! now hubby had a heartattack the other day and it seems i'm back to feeling sorry for him and taking care of him. I try to tell him how i'm feeling but he just doesn't get it! How do i get him to see what i'm going through? I'm almost at the end of my rope!!!
 twinkz
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 56
Depression
Posted: 1/28/2006 2:05:43 PM
Thanx Innocent, I agree with you on the stress thing! I know stress has played a tolll on me over the past 4yr's! I am in pro-counselling. It seems to be helping some. Hubby is also manic depressive that seems to add fuel to the fire. my councelor thinks i should explore me more first before i jump thegun and take pills that i may not need, so i have decided to do that and if things don't get better i plan to see the doctor! I just seem to be so down and out the last week and having trouble couping. I do pray and some days that helps a bit too.
 twinkz
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 57
Depression
Posted: 1/28/2006 3:36:08 PM
My husband does receive psycgiatric treatment. And through this i have discovered not all of his problems are because of his illness!!! I turn to God in times of need and times when i don't need help! I am not expecting him to poof and heal I am seeking pro-councelling, this and self help to get through this rough time!!!
 E.Kyro
Joined: 10/3/2005
Msg: 58
view profile
History
Depression
Posted: 1/28/2006 6:21:05 PM
@ Twinkz- Sounds like you have a good counselor. Meds are not a solution but simply a way to kill the pain of the situation. It resolves nothing. Self-help groups can be a very good support structure for dealing with the dynamics of the type of relationship you are involved in. Something along the lines of Al-Anon not only has the support of others going through similar circumstances but also tried and true principles for dealing with a spouse who is disrupting the family with their dysfunctional behaviours.
 twinkz
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 60
Depression
Posted: 1/28/2006 7:10:56 PM
I am seeing a councelor that deals with addictions like acoholics and gambling problems. I am not even sure if this is where i should be going but hubby is seeing someone there to and we may even get together with both our councelors. So i shall stay her for the time being. He says that taking pills doesn't always solve the problem. He sugested i take more time to focus on me and not my family. And if this doesn't help or i stillo think i need medication or an alternative route then we will look into that. so far he has opened my eyes to see how everything has affected me. before counceling i thought i was going CRAZY! And my only hope was meds! now i know i probualy can get through this on my own with the support of others.
thanx to all for your imput and support,
Twinkz!
 twinkz
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 61
Depression
Posted: 1/29/2006 6:29:52 PM
Only my hubby is bypolar. When i stated that hub is also bypolar. I was refering to his problems and his illness not to me.

I'm just going through a rough time right now. I went through a bad time 10yrs ago and pulled through without pills.
I think being with the councelor is where i need to be for awhile.
I did talk to my hubby's psychiatrist about whats going on and that i am seeking councelling to. She agreed with me to try this route and if things don't get better to see her or my family Dr.
My councelor is helping me deal with hubby's gambling and anger problem. Something which he is trained in!
p.s. Thanx for everone's imput and support it helps!!!
 ASB
Joined: 9/17/2003
Msg: 62
Depression
Posted: 1/29/2006 7:01:16 PM

Only my hubby is bypolar. When i stated that hub is also bypolar. I was refering to his problems and his illness not to me.

I'm just going through a rough time right now. I went through a bad time 10yrs ago and pulled through without pills.
I think being with the councelor is where i need to be for awhile.
I did talk to my hubby's psychiatrist about whats going on and that i am seeking councelling to. She agreed with me to try this route and if things don't get better to see her or my family Dr.
My councelor is helping me deal with hubby's gambling and anger problem. Something which he is trained in!
p.s. Thanx for everone's imput and support it helps!!!


I know a LOT of people who are in the same shoes you are in. You are definitely NOT alone. And stay strong and don't let them rub off on you.
 twinkz
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 65
Depression
Posted: 1/30/2006 5:51:20 AM
I have talked to a psyciatrist (my hubby's) so she knows me and the situation quit well.
further more suicide would never be an option i wouldn't have the gutts to do that. I also have a 31/2yr girl that needs me so i am making sure she doesn't get to mixed up in our problems. Although it has affected her some i get lots of breaks from her with my family and friends.
Also i have have seen my hubby when he is getting manic and know the signs. And can see it comming on sometimes before he does.
I do alot of writing too that helps me sort through things and seems to lift my spirits. Some i share here some is on my web page and some i don't care to share. Anyways it's monday and I am hoping for a better day than yesterday!!! So far so good
 E.Kyro
Joined: 10/3/2005
Msg: 66
view profile
History
Depression
Posted: 1/30/2006 5:53:48 AM

In this state they are a danger to themselves (and less frequently to others) and the only hope for recovery lies in professional treatment. These people should absolutely not be made to feel guilty for their condition, they should not be ostracised by their families, and they should not be encouraged to avoid professional treatment.


Professional treatment is not the only or even the best hope of recovery. A lifetime regimen of various meds and trips to the couch, would not be considered "recovery" but simply a coping mechanism that doesn't deal with the actual problem.
Add to this the financial strain of professional treatment and it should be obvious that for many it is not a viable option.
 E.Kyro
Joined: 10/3/2005
Msg: 67
view profile
History
Depression
Posted: 1/30/2006 6:06:03 AM

I do alot of writing too that helps me sort through things and seems to lift my spirits. Some i share here some is on my web page and some i don't care to share. Anyways it's monday and I am hoping for a better day than yesterday!!! So far so good


Journaling is a great idea Twinkz. I found it very therapuetic when I was doing it. Another thing that I find helpful was joining an online forum with people that are going through similar situations. A Google search will track those sort of sites down. It is safer to share in those areas because there is no condemnation from those who have no idea of what you are going through.
 twinkz
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 68
Depression
Posted: 1/30/2006 11:20:09 AM
Thanx Coffee but any ideas what i'd searh for? I am thinking maybe under deression? I will try that later today. Thanx for the suggestion!!
 E.Kyro
Joined: 10/3/2005
Msg: 70
view profile
History
Depression
Posted: 1/31/2006 9:26:34 AM

Thanx Coffee but any ideas what i'd searh for? I am thinking maybe under deression? I will try that later today. Thanx for the suggestion!!


Your welcome, Twinkz. I noticed in a previous post of yours that there was a God-awareness so I think you would be well served by a 12 Step type of support group. Al-Anon, Codependency, ACOA, Nar-Anon, etc. Just look around to find something that you feel led to. There are various groups that have an online presence. A Google search for "12 Step recovery" yields over 22,000,000 hits.

God Bless,
 E.Kyro
Joined: 10/3/2005
Msg: 71
view profile
History
Depression
Posted: 1/31/2006 9:52:56 AM
I simply am not going to concede that a person with full blown manic depression should avoid seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist. It is not a good idea to be telling manic depressive people they don't need to see pychologists or psychiatrists. Alternative treatments are not a good idea because people who are bipolar can be very stable for months and then go totally off the deep end. It is not at all uncommon for these people to get suicidal. A psychiatrist is the only professional that has any hope of preventing that.


Are you speaking from your own personal experience on alternative solutions? For myself and with those I have known over the years with suicidal tendencies, the crux of the problem is that there is a total loss of hope and extreme loneliness in that there is a feeling that there is noone who could care less if the person lived or died. In fact many of them felt the world would be a better place without them. Imo, a psychiatrist or other professional who is being paid to care is not conducive to losing the loneliness. I don't discount that there is a measure of effectiveness that they are able to provide, but over the long term it is not an adequate solution from both a financial and emotional viewpoint.

Another aspect that you may not be aware of is that many with Bipolar are alcoholic/addicts. People with those types of problems have rarely been helped by the medical community. Alcoholics/addicts are great cons. They will not allow a professional to get to know what makes them tick resulting in an inability to be helped through them.
I speak from the personal experience of both myself and many, many others that I know.. The only one who truly knows what is going on inside another alcoholic/addict are those who have been one, because they are the only ones that will be allowed in.
 ASB
Joined: 9/17/2003
Msg: 72
Depression
Posted: 1/31/2006 7:10:20 PM
Something we can completely agree on majestic.
 E.Kyro
Joined: 10/3/2005
Msg: 73
view profile
History
Depression
Posted: 2/1/2006 7:03:47 AM

Posted By: Majestic_Lizard_Returns

Coffee:
Yet again you take my words out of context and create a straw man argument to refute.


I simply asked you about your personal experience on alternative solutions because of your "authoratative commentary" on their ineffectiveness. I notice you still haven't answered that question.


With a bipolar person in a depressed episode there IS NO RATIONAL cause. They just get that way. You can't talk them out of it. It is a chemical imbalance. Get that through your thick skull.


You seriously need to educate yourself before throwing out unsubstantiated comments like this. There are no physiological tests to diagnose Bipolar. The chemical imbalance is something being looked into but is not as yet proven. Combine that with the question whether the imbalance is caused by the Bipolar or results in the disease, leaves room for much research. At this time Bipolar is diagnosed by looking into family history, behavioural tests and various symptoms.
There are most certainly rational causes for the depressed state. It centers around how the victim views and thinks about life at any particular moment. The longer the negative thinking continues, the worse it gets and the more extreme the mood swings.


Bipolar people are not automatically alcholics or addicts. I know several people that are bipolar and not a damn one is an addict of any kind. They would not appreciate that ignorant and ridiculous presumption.

People with bipolar disorder are not automatically addicted to drugs and alcohol. Only an idiot would believe that. There is no causal link.


The medical community doesn't agree with your thinking. I suggest you run bipolar+alcoholism through Google to educate yourself.


I will repeat for at least the third time, do not encourage people with serious mental illnesses to avoid seeking psychological treatment.


In this thread you have shown a distinct tendency to read into posts comments that weren't there. My only contention here is that "Professional treatment is not the only or even the best hope of recovery."
In fact, in light of your insulting attitude in your last few posts, name calling and hallucinative reading of others' post, I would encourage you to seek out professional help. I'm sure there is a cool latin name for whatever it is you are suffering from as well a prescribed drug therapy.
 twinkz
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 75
Depression
Posted: 3/27/2006 9:32:28 AM
Kitten...I agree that one needs prayer and faith, which I have.
But I just don't get what the ten comandments have to do with
depression?
I think your post might fit beter under relgion.
Anyways just my thoughts.
Show ALL Forums  > Religion  > Depression