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 Doremi_Fasolatido
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 581
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OVER 50 And Alone....again.Page 29 of 30    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30)
Could be a lot of the guys in this age group figure closing time is near...

I mean guys, and probably ladies too in their 50's realize their mortality. They realize it's now or never.

Maybe they spent a large share of their lives in meaningless relationships and now want to cut loose. Maybe their significant others have passed on to their great reward? If so, maybe these frisky survivors simply want to want to drink deeply from the cup of life. Now, while some semblance of functionality still remains in their happy parts.

OP. I'd say if these guys are enjoying themselves then go along for the ride. If they're fun to be with enjoy the moment and have fun. If you enjoy their company and they enjoy yours then why have any expectations?
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 582
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/2/2013 1:27:37 PM
Seems like I stumbled on this thread kinda late in the game, anyhow........

OP, in case you still follow up on this thread, it all boils down to finding a compatible partner, which does not seem to be easy in any age group, especially once you're not living in a large metropolitan area or if you live on a tiny island like me, as small places have a tendency to breed small minds, smile.

However, it seems like every age group has certain particular compatibility issues, like commitment/player/drama queen "issues" in the 20 something age group, kids/no kids in the 30 something etc.....

The interesting thing is that, just going by the forums here, there seem to be compatible people around, but they do not seem to be getting together, smile.
 mrnova66
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 583
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/2/2013 1:48:21 PM
@Availableinindy...Your post is the most ingorant post i have read in ages..What do you think that men that have never been married are selfish,stubbern,all about them?..Your right divorce men can NEVER be like that..NO!!NO!!!!They are just divorce for no reason at all...Such a great trac record
 tricia3753
Joined: 4/5/2010
Msg: 584
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/2/2013 2:52:08 PM
ohhhh definately...very "common" my wife wants nothing to do with sex ...same line from married guys ....give me a break !!!!!!
 searching4truelove00002
Joined: 7/13/2011
Msg: 585
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/2/2013 8:22:12 PM
Don't say you're sorry to him...he's not the profile police...lol
 All2rosie
Joined: 2/3/2013
Msg: 587
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/17/2013 6:56:00 AM
Finding the person underneath the words (both written and spoken) is a often an interesting venture. So much attitude and bravado....Often end up dating below my age because I am petite, or slim or under 40 LOL!

I agree with many of the earlier posters - it finding the connection that is the problem. I DO try to remember to wear my BS cape and carry BS repellent !
 Spence56
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 589
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/17/2013 4:05:06 PM
It seems difficult for any of us over 50. But people that have been divorced/widowed more than 5-10 years (including women) are kind of into a new set of things to fill their time. But not so deep down inside, I think that if they are the kind to cherish an intimate partnership/relationship with someone they will know it when they see it. Those that don't will never find it and will never respond to your hopes for that. I guess that's OK, especially if we find out quickly so we don't waste a lot of time on them. After 50 we don't exactly have a lot of time to waste on people that are not interested in growing old together.

Well, that's what I think, anyway. :-)
 Teemax
Joined: 4/14/2012
Msg: 590
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/19/2013 10:45:41 PM
Yeah a shopping list for who they want must not smoke,must not be to fat,must have big heart,I find the online ,has the same results. More success in person,meet more get more dates,not meet and greets in a coffee shop.A good point was made about Men wanting there freedom ,thats true I think we like our freedom.Who wants to be controlled ,ect.
 Daytonarea
Joined: 5/9/2012
Msg: 591
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/19/2013 11:57:47 PM
I believe you are right in many respects. and there may be good reason. Many times we change to appease our partner and in return keep finding ourselves with greater restriction. When the 50 plus man gets a taste of freedom he may (as I have) decide that I will not change to fit a relationship and almost all relationships require change. We may say that we like someone for whom they are and then want them to fit our ideals. Stop looking for a relationship and make friends. You don't have to sleep with someone to hang out. Dating is, by nature, trying to sell yourself to get what you want.

That said let us simplify. If you like live music, go listen to bands, make friends and have a true common interest. Don't try to consolidate your life and likes with someone else. If you don't want to see cole slaw wrestling, don't go. And always maintain your identity and never hang one.
 stargirl59
Joined: 1/17/2010
Msg: 592
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/24/2013 9:06:28 AM
When the right man comes along, you will know. He will want to be with you all the time, the honeymoon stage. If he isn't showing you the interest you want or deserve, just keep looking. You will find him eventually. It takes alot of time if you are committed to finding a partner, but you will.
 avatarian
Joined: 2/12/2012
Msg: 593
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History
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/26/2013 9:05:15 PM
After my divorce, I resolved to lose weight. In a year, I dropped 60 pounds (to 260) and still walk several times a week. Along with a successful career and ability to travel, I am feeling good about it. BUT, I frequently hear that I am a "nice guy," or a "good friend" or ... well you know. Is it true that nice guys never get the grrl or that we always finish last?
 oreduck52
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 594
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/26/2013 9:43:45 PM
been there on that one, nice guy> Well she was correct, The nice guy gets used and ran over.
 _islandbird
Joined: 3/23/2007
Msg: 595
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/27/2013 10:23:09 AM
............ and the Battle of the Sexes rages on..............and on.............. and on. Neither gender has the market cornered on some seriously gratuitous behaviour, yet we all seem to join right in on mud slinging the opposite sex.
Why can't we examine some of this egregious behaviour in a gender-neutral fashion?.................... like examining some of these actions/attitudes for what they actually are, without reference to a specific gender.

Some of the biggest turn-offs for me, personally, include:

Golddiggers/parasites- yes, they come in both genders. In my (seniors) age group it tends to be someone who is looking to secure their retirement comforts using YOUR pension/RRSP/401K dollars, and any/all other aspects of your asset base. With some of these clowns, you are tempted to suggest that for an appropriate "first date", each party should send their respective accountants to "do lunch" ;-) Most people WANT to share generously with their loved ones, but no one wants to be used as a "meal ticket" or a "nurse with a purse".

Lying - about age, true marital status, STD status, ED status, criminal record, substance abuse status, "occasional smoker" status, ............... the LIST is really endless. The POINT, is that LYING is LYING. It just says that the liar's moral compass is defective.

Unreasonable/Delusional Expectations - large percentages of both genders are totally delusional about "looking younger" than their real age. The reality........................ lots of folks look GOOD for their age, whatever that may be,................... and kudos to them for taking care of themselves, BUT it is an EXTREMELY RARE individual who REALY looks significantly younger than their age. AND, looking good for your age doesn't excuse predatory trolling in age groups two to three DECADES your junior! Seriously folks, this kind of predatory trolling is like cruising a kiddies park .......... practically paedophilia................. ick!!!!

Lifestyle mis-representations - Persons who indicate that they are very physically active and then turn out to be virtual couch potatoes are a real turn-off. Someone in danger of going in to cardiac arrest 5 minutes into a beach walk , is often the same one who thinks they are entitled to look for a mate who is a virtual Playboy/Chippendale model? WTF!!! Don't any of us own full length mirrors???

BOTH SEXES need to stop this god___n mud slinging. Instead, try doing a realistic evaluation of YOURSELF. WHAT YOU ARE BRINGING TO THE TABLE in any relationship ............ financially, intellectually, socially, sexually. The best indicator that we are trying to "bat out of our league" is that we are continually frustrated with our results on dating sites like POF. When we start REALISTICALLY assessing our own attributes, it is amazing how many more folks will look like a decent match....................................... just sayin'
 wcratz2012
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 596
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/27/2013 11:18:38 AM
Don't for get about the men who have never married and no kids because they never found the right woman...

ROTZ OF RUCK dating........
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 597
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/27/2013 1:07:34 PM

_islandbird
Unreasonable/Delusional Expectations - large percentages of both genders are totally delusional about "looking younger" than their real age. The reality........................ lots of folks look GOOD for their age, whatever that may be,................... and kudos to them for taking care of themselves, BUT it is an EXTREMELY RARE individual who REALY looks significantly younger than their age. AND, looking good for your age doesn't excuse predatory trolling in age groups two to three DECADES your junior! Seriously folks, this kind of predatory trolling is like cruising a kiddies park .......... practically paedophilia................. ick!!!!


Really, really, really? Two consenting Adults are Practically committing Pedophilia? your Ageism isn't any better than Sexism, Racism, or any other 'Ism'......... So to you someone who is 80 shouldn't date someone who is 60.....That attitude isn't much different than someone shouldn't date outside their Race, Creed or Color....Let's not even get into same sex couples........

It's a simple yes or no question...... Are both parties Consenting Adults?......If no then it's wrong, if Yes then leave them alone......It's none of your business......

You start off with a live and let live attitude and then go off the rails with your own Personal Biases......

I don't care what other Consenting Adult do, as long as they're Consenting Adults and what they're doing isn't "Malum in Se'.
 _islandbird
Joined: 3/23/2007
Msg: 598
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/27/2013 2:13:14 PM

Really, really, really?

"Damnant quod non intelligent. Vescere brascis meis. "

Cheers, _islandbird
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 599
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/27/2013 2:34:39 PM
^^^ I am thinking you are still hot under the collar about MV.

Somehow insults in latin sound better. Though wouldn't "Damnant quod non intelligent" be something that is "self descriptive"?
 letsfallinit
Joined: 7/13/2012
Msg: 600
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/27/2013 8:20:08 PM
hi.....looks like you have us figured out
 Colorpurple422
Joined: 11/4/2012
Msg: 601
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/27/2013 9:12:53 PM
Let me tell you a secret....this isn't real. On line dating is only what people want you to think they are. There is something about writing to someone that allows people to say things that they would never say to you face to face. Once that line is crossed, and you finally meet them, the relationship has already started with false pretenses. I am 60 years old and find that men my age are still playing the same games as guys half there age. You would think that with life experiences behind them, they would be more genuine but that isn't true. And I believe woman are also doing the same thing to men. We are all looking for the same thing so why is this so difficult?
 Freudian
Joined: 3/15/2010
Msg: 602
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History
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/27/2013 9:50:36 PM
^^^Because when you actually put down the truth, nobody contacts you ... or answers your messages.
 Colorpurple422
Joined: 11/4/2012
Msg: 603
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/27/2013 11:20:14 PM
Exactly. So profiles are a joke. I know someone who is 245 lbs and she put down she likes skiing, hiking, long walks.....she hasn't seen a long walk in years. She likes them but doesn't do them. Freudian, Did you read my profile? This is what I was trying to say. At our age, we should be able to leave out the BS and try being honest.
 Freudian
Joined: 3/15/2010
Msg: 604
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History
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/28/2013 12:59:07 AM
Actually, no. I didn't look at your profile until you responded. Yes, you have an honest profile. On some thread here somewhere I commented that having a long list of requirements was silly. Something on the order of, "Just tell us you don't hate men and see where it goes from there." Your profile was along those lines.

Then, I went and actually read mine. Yes, I know I wrote it; I should know what it said, but it's weird, I didn't say a darn thing about what I'm looking for in a woman. Thinking about it, there's a good reason for that. My body tells me that I'm attracted to a wide range of women. Tall, short, lean, plump, blonde, brunette, redheaded, bald, long legs, short legs, long hair, short hair, etc. Strong personalities, wall flowers, in between, well educated, didn't quite make it through high school. You get the drift. Basically, I seem to be attracted to females that still have a warm body.

So, I don't have a clue what's the perfect match for me. There may not be a perfect match. There may instead be another person; a real person, with likes, dislikes, and desires that are very different from mine that happens to hate my kind of music, hate my cooking, think I dress funny, and beats me at checkers that will be the perfect 'mismatch'. Someone that will argue, cajole, tempt, correct, or invade her way into my heart.

Here's hoping.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 605
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/28/2013 2:56:35 AM
^^^ The National Assessment of Adult Literacy survey found that 43% of U.S. adults lacked the basic knowledge and skills needed to read and understand moderately dense texts, summarize, make simple inferences, determine cause and effect, or recognize an author's purpose

I don't suppose they write any better than they read.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 606
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/28/2013 10:50:11 AM
Veni, Vidi, volo in domum redire.
And that's the truth.

Seriously, while the contemplation of a significantly age-discrepant sociosexual interaction may creep one out-and one is certainly entitled to FEEL creeped out; but to characterize an age discrepant coupling as "near pedophila" cuts pretty close to mudslinging and maybe even sour grapes IMO.

Look, much as it may SUCK(in someone's perception) many people-and it seems more prevalent with men, in the current social environment-WILL date/become involved with a significantly younger person.
Characterizing it as akin to a crime ,sounds more like frustration/resentment on the part of the person doing the characterizing.
People are gonna do what they are gonna do...luckily, most people behave in accordance with the law of the land. Griping about it, or hurling accusations on an internet forum ,are not going to stop the behavior a particular person regards as unsavory.
Would anybody REALLY be in favor of having our governing bodies pass laws limiting age discrepancies in adult couples, citing "near pedophilia" as the basis for the legislation?
Cindy O
 Bodypulse
Joined: 10/31/2012
Msg: 607
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History
OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/28/2013 11:11:37 AM
I would have to agree with the Beauty and Brians ,
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