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 Joie de vie-Joy of life
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 26
If You Could Fix One Mistake Page 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Sorry you had so much tragedy!. I must inform you and anyone else who reads your thread that Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue does not lead to suicide. I have several friends (former nurses, teachers, it affects more women than men although it is not hormonal) who have this illness to different degrees. It was not the disease but the over medications that brought such a tragic end. Any chronic pain treatment has to be monitored carefully. So, please, folks if someone close to you is diagnosed with this illness please ask how you can help? I admire you for raising your son and you sound so proud of him. All the best....
Joined: 5/25/2007
Msg: 27
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/12/2007 11:31:50 PM
3honestly i would never change one thing. it could be a small thing like something i said or whatever but something that small could have changed my whole life, at least thats what i believe. im fairly happy with the way things have turned out so far so again, i would change nothing.
Joined: 2/10/2005
Msg: 28
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If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/12/2007 11:41:37 PM
I've thought about this question a few times before, and for whatever reason can never agree to change anything, just because everything because each mistake ends up being some sort of learning experience or it put you in a direction that you might not otherwise had gone had you done things differently. Besides that the point there isn't always a way of really knowing what the outcome of every choice, life is just not a set of dominoes its about as predictable as the weather.

We screw up for a variety of reasons, that if we learn from them properly make us better people for it. We're never the same people we are after a screw up, and its just a fantasy to think we can go back to a precise moment in time make a minor tweak and expect ourselves to think exactly the same, having only done a slight change. Everything that happens to us effects us in some way or another. If there wasn't a single screw up we had in life we'd never have a reason to want something else out of life and we'd just stay in the same rut for years at a time.

If anything I would have given myself chances for more screw ups.
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 29
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If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 12:16:52 AM
I regret nothing. Who I am is the sum of who I was.
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 30
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 6:24:18 AM

If you're going to change something from your past... make it something that would REALLY make things different.

Ever seen The Butterfly Effect with Ashton Krucher? I know it's just a movie but I also believe that the little choices we make lead us down a different path. Every decision is a crossroad that we chose to take, and by taking that path we change. It may just be a small change in the begining but will lead us in a different direction. I mean think about the little choice you made to have sex and ended up with a child because of it. Yes there are people that plan every pregnancy, but there are alot of us out there that it happened because we got horny. Wouldn't that be something that would make things really different???????

Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 31
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 6:50:22 AM
wow this is an old thread revived.

for me would be giving second chances. I have since learned that when people show you who they are, you should believe them....the first time.
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 32
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If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 6:52:53 AM
Also... if I fixed the problem that ended the dead end relationship, I'd probably still be in a dead end relationship....

Who needs that?
Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 33
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 6:56:12 AM
Hmm', I wouldn't have married the calculating Chinese woman only init to get citizenship. No matter how great the sex was.
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 34
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 6:58:59 AM
Griffin Seeking Sabine: Thankyew for sharing a part of your heart.

My main regret in life is that I haven't found the "love of my life". I always have fun & I'm considered the life of the party by some people but I want to be loved in that special way that only someone who truly cares for you and knows your heart can do.

I have never had that.
Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 35
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 7:12:29 AM
this thread is about Relationships right??

Ive done pretty good all along.....but I find it all more relaxing somehow after i learned that being OPEN to new things/people/ideas is not a weakness. I think i used to be quick to reject things/people/ideas that didn't match my way of thinking.

Over the years ive accepted that there are MANNNNNNNNNY diff types of good things/peoploe/ideas and I make sure I stay OPEN to them. I give them a chance and get to know a bit about it all and I dont pass such quick judgements.

I give people TIME to show me who they really are. and durning that time if I am treated "poorly", if they are rude, or evil toward me.....welll that doenst bother me for one second. Their Bad Behavior is NOT a reflection on me. Its a reflection of THEM and its all simply another opportunity for them to show me who they REALLY are.....and THAT is my goal. ....>To get to k now who people REALLY are and THEN I make a decision if its good enough for me or not good enough for me or if its just too different and unsuitable for me. Then I react accordingly and do whatever is necessary to handle the situation or get rid of them if i concluded that is the best option.

I NEVER get offended by other people when I am giving them chances. I just observe. Like a scientist with the Control Group!

so to answer th is Q: I would have learned to become more OPEN sooner and learn that OTHER people RARELY have what it takes to offend me. THEIR behavior is a reflection of THEM.....not me. Its all so much more relaxing watch and experience things without taking those things too personally.
Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 36
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 7:37:23 AM
Griffin loved your story, like others I felt the whole thing. Thanks for making me feel.

I would say my biggest regret was not being there when my mother died. The one day I missed, she decided to die.

Wanted to be with her, hold her hand, so she wouldn't be scared.
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 37
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 7:45:20 AM
If I could fix one mistake it would be to have had a better relationship with my brother. He died 30 years ago in an accident. He was 18 and I was 16. Like typical siblings, we argued over all kinds of dumb stuff. He went out of town on Labor Day weekend after we had been arguing. Our mom made us give each other a hug and I'm grateful for that but I know our hearts weren't really in it. And I never saw him alive again. Not only do I regret that we were "too cool" to express our appreciation and love of one another, I think how it has impacted my interactions with others over the years has not always been as positive as one would have expected. Maybe it caused me to be a little too open sometimes (cuz I didn't want any more regrets like that) and that sometimes resulted in having my feelings hurt in return. Maybe I valued some people too much and hung on when I should have let go.
Joined: 8/11/2005
Msg: 38
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 7:58:25 AM
I USED to put everyone before me...I no longer do that...I come and always....I look out for number
Joined: 9/4/2007
Msg: 39
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 8:16:41 AM
I would have stayed with my first love and married him~
 loyal T
Joined: 8/10/2006
Msg: 40
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 8:30:33 AM
I would've refused any of the offers by exs to " try again". They always were just a repeat ending due to that history repeating itself. I since stopped fooling myself and refused the last attempt to reunite. It is not a lesson learned that was lost after all.
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 41
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 8:55:25 AM
I would have never 'settled down'.
The day I stopped traveling was the day I pretty much executed my love life.
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 42
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 10:58:40 AM
I've made mistakes, but mostly no regrets. The only thing I would have done different was just out of school to have moved to New York.
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 43
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 2:09:56 PM
Too many to mention. The only one I really regret is leaving my ex ( my childrens dad). Biggest mistake of my life. However, I have learned from all of them. Or, atleast I hope I have.
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 44
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 2:13:16 PM
If you could go back in time and fix any one mistake in your life in regards to relationships or one character flaw that kept causing mistakes, what would it be?

I would have been my own woman from much earlier on. I woudn't have tried to please everyone at the risk of my own hopes/dreams/plans being set aside/ignored/devalued/etc. I would have stopped worrying about what others thought 20 years before I did. Since we can't go back, I now just embrace the times I attempted to be who someone else wanted and know that it can't happen again. (Good question OP, even though you are probably long gone ... lol)
Joined: 9/5/2007
Msg: 45
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 2:14:50 PM
here, in the moment, feeling as i do currently, i'd agree with the OP of this thread. i too put my ex first in every thing. now i'm paying the price with a nice ending of the relationship that i didnt want, left struggling financially and emotionally, thank god there were no kids involved. i'll be hard pressed to repeat this mistake.
Joined: 9/5/2007
Msg: 46
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 2:39:28 PM
Agreed with some earlier posters. Even though my mistakes have been stupid, I've learned alot from them
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 47
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 3:27:02 PM
I would have went east instead of west ,,i have not met anyone from the east coast i do not enjoy talking with ..i always wanted to visit the east coast ..

oh and the sexy rich girl that loved me when i was so young and free..she would have me and my babies......
Joined: 7/24/2006
Msg: 48
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 3:45:06 PM
I would have divorced my ex the first time that I filed............

Consequently, I took him back under the premise that he was going to try to make it work. We went overseas and he did absolutely nothing but reject me. Funny, my friends and family had warned me that getting me over there would be a great advantage to him. I laughed. So I had given up a wonderful, well paying job, the purchase of a home for myself and our daughters, my vehicle, and as a result of divorce trauma, my oldest daughter ended up overseas with him and will now marry an European.
Joined: 9/5/2007
Msg: 49
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If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 3:50:10 PM
Bro your response was too long he said name one thing, and you wort a mini series. Try to shorten it up next time bro.
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 50
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 3:50:17 PM
My mistake was,, when I was on my kness praying and crying to my God,, that he please let my wife live to seen ours sons first birthday, God answered my prayes, she died,when our son was 13 mo.. I would have asked for a life time if I only knew... However,, I do that God for answering my prayer....... That was over 6 years ago,, there isn't a day that goes bye,, that I am not blessed...just for the life we shared and the life that I now have with my son..

A note,, a friend of mine said to me,, Norm,, have you ever considered why your prayers were answer, she said,, you asked for very little, just for a moment in time,, and nothing for you..she was right..
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