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 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 26
If You Could Fix One Mistake Page 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
In our marriage, towards the end, we lived our lives around our jobs. Our discussions became too "adult" like and would be about the bills, jobs, etc...As adults, we need to play, we need to have fun, we need to laugh, and we really should never stop romancing each other.. The day we take each other for granted, the day we start the lying, cheating, games, etc. is when we are in deep trouble..
 Joie de vie-Joy of life
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 27
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/12/2007 11:16:00 PM
Sorry you had so much tragedy!. I must inform you and anyone else who reads your thread that Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue does not lead to suicide. I have several friends (former nurses, teachers, it affects more women than men although it is not hormonal) who have this illness to different degrees. It was not the disease but the over medications that brought such a tragic end. Any chronic pain treatment has to be monitored carefully. So, please, folks if someone close to you is diagnosed with this illness please ask how you can help? I admire you for raising your son and you sound so proud of him. All the best....
 desertwind
Joined: 5/25/2007
Msg: 28
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/12/2007 11:31:50 PM
3honestly i would never change one thing. it could be a small thing like something i said or whatever but something that small could have changed my whole life, at least thats what i believe. im fairly happy with the way things have turned out so far so again, i would change nothing.
 partofthequeue
Joined: 2/10/2005
Msg: 29
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If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/12/2007 11:41:37 PM
I've thought about this question a few times before, and for whatever reason can never agree to change anything, just because everything because each mistake ends up being some sort of learning experience or it put you in a direction that you might not otherwise had gone had you done things differently. Besides that the point there isn't always a way of really knowing what the outcome of every choice, life is just not a set of dominoes its about as predictable as the weather.

We screw up for a variety of reasons, that if we learn from them properly make us better people for it. We're never the same people we are after a screw up, and its just a fantasy to think we can go back to a precise moment in time make a minor tweak and expect ourselves to think exactly the same, having only done a slight change. Everything that happens to us effects us in some way or another. If there wasn't a single screw up we had in life we'd never have a reason to want something else out of life and we'd just stay in the same rut for years at a time.

If anything I would have given myself chances for more screw ups.
 .Marc
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 30
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If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 12:16:52 AM
I regret nothing. Who I am is the sum of who I was.
 justmeandmax
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 31
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 6:24:18 AM

If you're going to change something from your past... make it something that would REALLY make things different.


Ever seen The Butterfly Effect with Ashton Krucher? I know it's just a movie but I also believe that the little choices we make lead us down a different path. Every decision is a crossroad that we chose to take, and by taking that path we change. It may just be a small change in the begining but will lead us in a different direction. I mean think about the little choice you made to have sex and ended up with a child because of it. Yes there are people that plan every pregnancy, but there are alot of us out there that it happened because we got horny. Wouldn't that be something that would make things really different???????

Me
 MsSquirrly
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 32
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 6:50:22 AM
wow this is an old thread revived.

for me ..it would be giving second chances. I have since learned that when people show you who they are, you should believe them....the first time.
 .Marc
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 33
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If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 6:52:53 AM
Also... if I fixed the problem that ended the dead end relationship, I'd probably still be in a dead end relationship....

Who needs that?
 Engage-me
Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 34
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 6:56:12 AM
Hmm', I wouldn't have married the calculating Chinese woman only init to get citizenship. No matter how great the sex was.
 Prissymae
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 35
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 6:58:59 AM
Griffin Seeking Sabine: Thankyew for sharing a part of your heart.

My main regret in life is that I haven't found the "love of my life". I always have fun & I'm considered the life of the party by some people but I want to be loved in that special way that only someone who truly cares for you and knows your heart can do.

I have never had that.
 daisie
Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 36
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 7:12:29 AM
this thread is about Relationships right??

Ive done pretty good all along.....but I find it all more relaxing somehow after i learned that being OPEN to new things/people/ideas is not a weakness. I think i used to be quick to reject things/people/ideas that didn't match my way of thinking.

Over the years ive accepted that there are MANNNNNNNNNY diff types of good things/peoploe/ideas and I make sure I stay OPEN to them. I give them a chance and get to know a bit about it all and I dont pass such quick judgements.

I give people TIME to show me who they really are. and durning that time if I am treated "poorly", if they are rude, or evil toward me.....welll that doenst bother me for one second. Their Bad Behavior is NOT a reflection on me. Its a reflection of THEM and its all simply another opportunity for them to show me who they REALLY are.....and THAT is my goal. ....>To get to k now who people REALLY are and THEN I make a decision if its good enough for me or not good enough for me or if its just too different and unsuitable for me. Then I react accordingly and do whatever is necessary to handle the situation or get rid of them if i concluded that is the best option.

I NEVER get offended by other people when I am giving them chances. I just observe. Like a scientist with the Control Group!

so to answer th is Q: I would have learned to become more OPEN sooner and learn that OTHER people RARELY have what it takes to offend me. THEIR behavior is a reflection of THEM.....not me. Its all so much more relaxing now...to watch and experience things without taking those things too personally.
 tmotts
Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 37
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 7:37:23 AM
Griffin loved your story, like others I felt the whole thing. Thanks for making me feel.

I would say my biggest regret was not being there when my mother died. The one day I missed, she decided to die.

Wanted to be with her, hold her hand, so she wouldn't be scared.
 WindRoper
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 38
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 7:45:20 AM
If I could fix one mistake it would be to have had a better relationship with my brother. He died 30 years ago in an accident. He was 18 and I was 16. Like typical siblings, we argued over all kinds of dumb stuff. He went out of town on Labor Day weekend after we had been arguing. Our mom made us give each other a hug and I'm grateful for that but I know our hearts weren't really in it. And I never saw him alive again. Not only do I regret that we were "too cool" to express our appreciation and love of one another, I think how it has impacted my interactions with others over the years has not always been as positive as one would have expected. Maybe it caused me to be a little too open sometimes (cuz I didn't want any more regrets like that) and that sometimes resulted in having my feelings hurt in return. Maybe I valued some people too much and hung on when I should have let go.
 ANGELPS
Joined: 8/11/2005
Msg: 39
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 7:58:25 AM
I USED to put everyone before me...I no longer do that...I come FIRST..now and always....I look out for number 1...me.
 3Candles
Joined: 9/4/2007
Msg: 40
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 8:16:41 AM
I would have stayed with my first love and married him~
 loyal T
Joined: 8/10/2006
Msg: 41
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 8:30:33 AM
I would've refused any of the offers by exs to " try again". They always were just a repeat ending due to that history repeating itself. I since stopped fooling myself and refused the last attempt to reunite. It is not a lesson learned that was lost after all.
 Wolfie65
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 42
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 8:55:25 AM
I would have never 'settled down'.
The day I stopped traveling was the day I pretty much executed my love life.
 iowaguysteve
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 43
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If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 8:57:45 AM
Ah, fodder for Dr Laura's next book...

For the most part, I agree with all who say no regrets, it makes us what we are today.... but...

My first marriage was nice for a few years, but we drifted apart. We had two sons, and stayed together to raise them. So I had my boys, but I had no relationship. The boys did not learn how to live in a home where love and respect were functional. They were physcially taken care of, but homelife stunk and I wrapped myself into work instead. And the coping skills the boys learned were that you put up with things that didnt work, cause you couldn't change them. Great lesson, right? So when my youngest son was 17, and life dealt him hard problems, and he didn't have what he needed to deal with them, and dad was off to work.... I spent weeks praying after the accident. I only prayed for one thing...... God did let my son live...... That was 8 years ago. He is still alive, but he has no life...

I regret that I didn't have the courage to choose to stand up to the problems of life when they were little problems.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 44
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 10:58:40 AM
I've made mistakes, but mostly no regrets. The only thing I would have done different was just out of school to have moved to New York.
 celebrtlife
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 45
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 2:09:56 PM
Too many to mention. The only one I really regret is leaving my ex ( my childrens dad). Biggest mistake of my life. However, I have learned from all of them. Or, atleast I hope I have.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 46
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 2:13:16 PM
If you could go back in time and fix any one mistake in your life in regards to relationships or one character flaw that kept causing mistakes, what would it be?


I would have been my own woman from much earlier on. I woudn't have tried to please everyone at the risk of my own hopes/dreams/plans being set aside/ignored/devalued/etc. I would have stopped worrying about what others thought 20 years before I did. Since we can't go back, I now just embrace the times I attempted to be who someone else wanted and know that it can't happen again. (Good question OP, even though you are probably long gone ... lol)
 littlemisscantbewrong
Joined: 9/5/2007
Msg: 47
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 2:14:50 PM
here, in the moment, feeling as i do currently, i'd agree with the OP of this thread. i too put my ex first in every thing. now i'm paying the price with a nice ending of the relationship that i didnt want, left struggling financially and emotionally, thank god there were no kids involved. i'll be hard pressed to repeat this mistake.
 iowan
Joined: 9/5/2007
Msg: 48
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 2:39:28 PM
Agreed with some earlier posters. Even though my mistakes have been stupid, I've learned alot from them
 RockOn!
Joined: 8/2/2007
Msg: 49
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If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 2:54:57 PM
I would make a better decision about a very close personal friend that I dearly loved and maybe...it would be a different situation than it is now.
 valleyjavastop
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 50
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 9/13/2007 3:27:02 PM
I would have went east instead of west ,,i have not met anyone from the east coast i do not enjoy talking with ..i always wanted to visit the east coast ..

oh and the sexy rich girl that loved me when i was so young and free..she would have me and my babies......
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