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 Sniper308
Joined: 10/21/2004
Msg: 226
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?Page 10 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
For all the complainers here, it's obvious why so many of you women divorce your men once they redeploy.
 an_angel_4u
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 227
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Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 9/26/2006 6:00:17 PM
I would date a man in the miltary. although right now i would always be in fear for his life, but if that is your man's career, than you accept it, and you wait for him to come home. And when he is home you show him how much you care. It's all about the love!
 tallandreal
Joined: 11/6/2005
Msg: 240
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Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/12/2006 9:15:58 PM
I could since they have been together for FOUR years now-so there. Not all people have cheating tendencies, hon!
 LilMsHonkyTonk
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 241
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/13/2006 9:20:41 PM
I'd date a military man and marry him..Though no matter where he went on deployments or how long he was gone for as long as i trusted in him to be faithful and he trusted in me to be faithful as well..I will never cheat on anyone that i date ..1. because why do something to someone when you dont want it done to you..2. I have more respect for myself and the person im with than to go out and screw some random people ..no matter what!..Being in a relationship means being in it with that person you care for not being in a relationship and screwing everything else that comes by..If anyone ever cheated on me and i found out..he wouldnt be walking any longer..but if you know any single military men send some my way..Would love to date one..
 rjpeagles
Joined: 11/30/2005
Msg: 244
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/13/2006 10:33:19 PM
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?


Based on the military man's track record concerning fidelity, why would you not?
 Newgate
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 246
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/14/2006 2:02:27 AM
I can't help but notice a lot of "of course, and if I loved him, I'd marry him" answers.

Dating thing, good on you. But I don't think you quite understand what you're saying with that marriage answer. Simply put, unless you happen to blunder into one of those storybook/movie romances (hint, they make movies about them because they're rare) love alone is going to face some pretty steep obstacles.

Obviously there's the away time. There's deployments, with that whole host of issues. I won't get into infidelity, but it is a major issue to the point where platoon and company leadership has to seriously consider its effects on combat potential. Now, presuming you can get through one 12 month separation, are you ready for another in two years time, max? God forbid they're 3ID, they'll practically live deployed with vacations home. Alright, even with that going on, you can't expect to see them all the time when they are home. Train ups, field exercises, schools, NTC/JRTC deployments will all eat up time stateside. Some days are going to be long and hard, not your standard 6 - 5, and they'll always be at the least convenient time. The first time a day predicted to end at 4 ends at 10 that night and you miss your dinner reservations because of arms room issues, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. If you're marrying an NCO or officer, it'll only be worse because they'll have paperwork to do, soldiers to look after, and assorted other time eating responsibilities beyond that.

Are you ready for when they come back form a deployment and they aren't the same person? Maybe they now booze heavily, and you'll be thrilled the first time your spouse jams the brakes or hammers the gas because theres a trashbag with wiring sticking out alongside the highway. Are you strong enough to help them or at least deal with it?

Add the omnipresent chance of death and injury to the equation. Don't think its just soemthing that happens at war either. When you work with 60 tosn of moving steel, and your job involves fuel, explosives, machinery, and sleep deprivation, accidents happen. A drop short will kill you just as dead as an enemy, so will rolling a vehicle in a wadi.

Next, the military, for all its benefits, does not pay well. At the lower end of the pay chart, making ends meet for a family isn't impossible, but it sure as hell isn't easy. Nothing will tear up a marriage quicker than financial issues and unless your dead on with cash management they will show up. NCO pay is better, but not great either. A couple bad money decisions and you can still count on those late notices. Lets say you marry an officer, the big bucks so to speak. You shouldn't run into debt, but the life of luxury it is not, certainly not compared to what say,a first year college graduate makes. Unless you get a General, they have all sorts of neat toys...but typically they're already taken. Try not to look at this as shallow, just realize that certain lifestyles will require a sizeable outside income to maintain, and at lower ranks it is definitely a hand to mouth existence.

Finally lets look at junior enlisted as this group in particular has problems. We're talking your 18-22 year old PFCs, spec 4s, and the occassional SGT and SSG or their branch equivalents. Some of these guys/girls are more or less staright out of high school and into the force, meaning their real world experience is pretty limited. Which is fine when they're single, because even if they blow their payday on a huge night on the town (and some will) the Army takes care of them for the next two weeks until they can do it again. Many will run up bills beyond their paycheck without the help of the local bar scene. If they make too much of a habit of it, they get slapped upside the head and a talking to, but they're still taken care of. Occassionally their leadership may have to make a midnight run down to a holding cell to pick them up for behavior many would call immature, but that same leadership will make sure they're aok before smoking them. Hell, there's even free medical for those times the clap rears its ugly head. They're usually great people and soldiers, but they're still experimenting in the real world. The military gives them a safety net so that they can scrape by in survival mode after fecking up. The problem is this safety net is rarely strong enough to hold two people, so what you get is a marriage being strained to its limits by real world familiarization, and many are just not ready for it.

So, looking at all that, if you really think love alone is going to be enough to handle a marriage, you'd better be freakin committed. A military marriage is perhaps one of the msot difficult relationships in the world, and it requires a certain personality and caliber of spouse to make it work. Unfortunately many either don't understand this or don't understand themselves and their hasty "of course, I love them" answer becomes a divorce a few years later.
 LilMsHonkyTonk
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 248
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/15/2006 2:46:04 AM
my grandfather and grandmother would have been married for 51 yrs this oct. if it wasnt for my grandfathers passing..and he was in the Air Force for 20 years and not a day went by that he ever stopped loving my grandmother and he spoke so highly of her and would walk a thousand miles for her because they had an unconditional love that never died even when my grandfather passed away in June 06 ..My grandmother resides in a nursing home in her hometown in Ga ...Because she has alzehimers and even in 05 when it got to the point we had to put her in a nursing home because neither myself nor he could take care of her anymore he still could not bring himself to the fact that he had to put his wife in a nursing home..two days before he passed away he had told me on the phone that he still could not bear the fact that his wife was away from him and he had wished that she was better and he was with her..He said that he wished he could see her one more time before he passed away but he wasn't able too due to the fact that he was in the hospital...So if you say that people who are in the military always some how screw themselves into fidelity its because they truly dont know what its like to get hurt by someone you love..and its not always military folks who comment fidelity its ordinary folks like me and you..Though i would never cheat no matter the circumstances......
 sailor50
Joined: 4/9/2006
Msg: 250
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/16/2006 3:25:08 PM
Just cause you had one guy do that to you doesn't mean that all military people are the same. It could have been any guy for that matter. If he was gonna cheat on you, it doesn't matter what he did for work. A cheater is a cheat and will cheat no matter who he is or what he does
 sailor50
Joined: 4/9/2006
Msg: 251
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/16/2006 3:27:43 PM
Well Shinxy, I wish you and him all the best. I am glad that you are there to support him and stand by him now that he is hurt. Alot of women don't. They find out what has happened to him and they run. God bless you for standing by your man. Good luck to the both of you.
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 253
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Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/16/2006 4:36:11 PM
No.

Not no, but hell no
 owynsmom
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 255
Would u date or marry a guy who is in the military?
Posted: 3/5/2008 8:26:27 PM
Yes, I would. I have met alot of really awesome Military men, Most of which I've had the opportunity to have in my family. My mom's twin sister is married to a very nice and loving man who's in the military, they've been posted to a few different places and they both love it, I think it was most difficult for the kids. I have a good friend who is married to another military man and they are really happy and he's a really good man.
A lot of the perception of stupid and jerky military men comes from the really stupid ones, You hear more of the bad shit that happens with anything as opposed to the good. Such is with every aspect of life. If I found my mate to be a guy in the military I wouldn't think twice about it. Being married to someone who protects our country and freedom is something to be proud of for sure. I would be totally proud to say my man was away fighting for our country (If I had one).
 WesternRose
Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 256
Would u date or marry a guy who is in the military?
Posted: 3/5/2008 8:38:58 PM
Wow...this is an old Thread...kinda like me...lol.

okay...well I am older...and I have met two very lovely men in the Canadain Armed Forces...both single...divorced dads... one is a pilot, the other a naval captain...both very senior posts in their situation.

both very dynamic men who enjoy their careers and know what they want from life....and both looking to retire in the next 5-10 years and yes... I would marry either of them. I am not going to be there for the long haul for a 30 + year career and they both travel alot... they are now looking to settle down and are both looking for a companion.

No.. I don't think I would of even considered this when I was younger... not able to deal with the salary and the moving that a Grunt in the Forces has to deal with.....the pay is low and I don't think the life is very glamourous.
 satx78218
Joined: 10/30/2007
Msg: 257
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Would u date or marry a guy who is in the military?
Posted: 3/5/2008 8:43:48 PM
Navy and Air Force careers can be cool and safe. Lots of class, lots of useful training, and lots of high tech stuff to play with.

Marines and Army, actives and reserves, the ground troops, are at risk of being screwed over like they are in Iraq now, over-extended, stop-loss orders, serial deployments in a totally bogus war. VN was another BS war the Marines and Army suffered in and accomplished nothing. Not there fault. The risk is not so much the military danger, for which the people deserve great respect for facing, but the danger of having total, lying politicians starting a bogus war and not knowing how to run and when to end a war.
 qriosity
Joined: 1/10/2008
Msg: 260
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Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 3/10/2008 9:12:10 PM
I would. And, infidelity, etc, just like civilians, it depends on the person/individual. If they are morally sound and you trust them/their character, military or otherwise, shouldn't change that. It's how well you know the person.
 qriosity
Joined: 1/10/2008
Msg: 263
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Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 3/10/2008 9:34:28 PM

No. I'm too left wing and have a few other problems with the lifestyle.


I am too, left wing, anti-war and all that. Very much so, but, after getting to know a really awsome person, in the military, and his answer for WHY he fights, even, say, if his morals don't support a war per se, was quite insightful, and made me respect him even further.
 asphaltcowboy1982
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 271
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Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 4/12/2008 7:27:37 PM
It does take a special breed of women to date or marry a militay person. The military is very demanding of not only the person who is in but his/her mate. Do not judge everybody by how he turned out. they are differant after they go to war but not all become like that. My dad was in Vietnam and was in an outfit that had a price on their heads preferbly dead because of what they were doing over there but he has never done drugs and does not drink.
 Spitfire1956
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 272
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 4/12/2008 9:24:36 PM
I was married to a military man..and yes, I would do it again in a heartbeat. When he was deployed..I would halp the other wives who wasn't as strong as I was or I would come up and help his parents, and go to my parents and stay. I was there for him in every aspect, and he was with me..we were one. When he came home I would be there to support him in anyway I could. When he was medically discharged due to his back..we refused to let it get us down. I made damn sure every base was covered while he was gone, made sure the bills were taken care of, sent him care packages all the time of things he needed or couldn't get there......but, I know we had a very special bond between us that no one could break.
 jf468
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 277
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 4/13/2008 10:18:39 AM
I would be hesistant to date a man in the military. People in the military are often away and/or constantly moving from place to place. It can be difficult to establish a serious relationship when a man isn't around that often.
 enigmamystery
Joined: 2/28/2007
Msg: 278
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Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 4/13/2008 10:29:01 AM
Absolutely. I see no reason that one should not date or marry a military person. If they are the one that connects with them on all levels, why should their job hinder it. Yes, the military part of the relationship means they might be deployed or move or whatever Uncle Sam tells them to do. If there is a will, there is a way. It just has to be that both parties are strong and really want the relationship and all that it entails. Obviously if you are the type that is clingy, this is not a relationship for you.
 smileee4u
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 281
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 4/14/2008 5:01:35 PM
Married an Army Officer

I was an Army Officer

My husband retired an Army Officer

He divorced me

I was a career Army Wife, entitled to Half retirement pension, plus investments

Our son is currently serving in Iraq

Son, of course, grew up a military brat

What in the hell was the question? I am so shell-shocked, I can't remember
 uptowngirl000
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 282
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Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 4/14/2008 5:09:04 PM
I certainly would!!
 Spitfire1956
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 286
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:15:26 AM
Yes, of course...I know how I would be when he deployed..so it would be on his shoulders if he wants me there when he returns home..if he is after everything he can tap then no I won't be there waiting, but if he wants a true and faithful wife/girlfriend, he will be waiting just to see me!
 SnugglesDaBunny
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 287
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 5/12/2008 10:13:53 PM
I would in a heartbeat!

Actually, I guess you can say that it is my intention to date and/or marry a military guy. My dad was a career officer in the military and I grew up on military bases. I have a deep respect for men in uniform and I think the majority has been tainted by the actions of the minority. Not all military men cheat on their spouses nor do they abuse their spouses. In fact, it was my experience that there were more family focused and spiritually sound men in the military than I encountered in civilian life.

I have no problem with the idea of deployment. There were times that my parents were together and other times when they were separated; if you have a strong relationship then this separation should be handled in stride. Yet, if you have a poor relationship, the long detachments will be the straw that breaks the camel's back.
 gaga2222
Joined: 11/30/2008
Msg: 289
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 2/8/2009 5:58:00 PM
Yes, I would! In fact I pray that some day I will find a wonderful loving service member to love and respect. They bring stability in every woman's life. As long as there is respect coming from both parties a stable military life is possible. I am an optimist!
 newmexicoleo
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 292
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 6/20/2009 3:08:56 PM
The answer is yes, I would. I am involved with a military man now and I would not have it any other way.
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