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Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 101
Confessions of the mindPage 5 of 66    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)

Feelings of foreboding will
They lead to nothing but loathing,
Will I escape unscathed or will they
Leave a scratch. A hatchet buried will
Resurface and endure a wrath.

Feelings of doubt and self pity, mingled
With should of’s and should not have’s,
Regret being the one thing that fuels a kick
In the back, I’ve met Jack and he is not going
To stop till I have paid in black

Feelings of rebellion and justification, I feel
I might depart by asphyxiation, analogy being
My one and true fixation, a myriad of feelings
All mixed up, I hope some day you don’t call my
Bluff, otherwise I just might drown in a huff.

Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 102
Confessions of the mind
Posted: 1/17/2005 11:38:25 AM
Madness Relent

Is there ever a time when the storm
Becomes tranquil, tranquility leading
To complete harmony, emotions spread
Over me and threaten to spill over into
A messy yet dressy world

I feel the sadness and the loneliness
More often than I care to admit, because
Then I can’t feel the hurt. Inferiority from
Superiority is what disappoints, it takes over
Me hence leaving me in utter dejection

When is it ever over, when is it all spent
Tell me oh Lord will this storm ever relent?
Is it hell bent on destroying and making me
The main event or will I just have to lay here
In its wake and wait to repent

Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 103
Confessions of the mind
Posted: 1/17/2005 11:39:58 AM
Stormy Brew

“For what I know to be true but can’t believe”.

It only hurts when I’m thinking,
Thinking of you and what we could do,
What we could brew, I’m sure would make
A fine stew, If only you’d pay me my due.

But instead you prefer to
Continue to ignore, I don’t know
Maybe it’s because you think I’m a bore.

Nevertheless let me settle the score,
You’re not the only one who thinks he’s tall.
Over you, despite your recluse, I refuse to grant
You late night refuge any longer

So if there’s news, guess what it’ for you
I’m no longer at your beck call. Instead I’m
At the mall, trying and vying, but inside
I’m slowly dyeing.


Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 104
Confessions of the mind
Posted: 1/18/2005 9:06:34 AM

“Thank You for giving to the Lord, because you
Gave I am alive”.

These words reduce me to tears, Oh Lord up above,
Your children do understand your wonderful love.
What a pity it is only a percentage, if only they knew
Of their advantage, instead, they abuse it and once again,
It is you who is left at a disadvantage.

What suffering and disappointment you have had to endure,
Heavenly father what struggles you’ve had to ignore. Wars
And famines they blame you for, yet they forget that it is your
Progeny and it’s you who always feels their agony. Mothers cry
And fathers deny, Oh father, give us rest and peace on high.

We, in this world should be filled with guilt and shame,
For it is because of our faults that we have missed the aim,
And instead have shifted the blame. Perfect I cannot profess,
That I am man enough to confess, and because of the fall, I am
Rendered helpless, recklessness hence befalls.

The need to stand tall is evident, now more than ever,
The world has become divided and the father up above is tired.
The word has been delivered and those that choose to deliberate
Will not liberate, so don’t hate, bitterness please abate and lets
Leave this world free and ready to procreate. Oh Lord up above,
I give thanks for those that have given, because they gave I can
Live and learn to behave.

Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 105
Confessions of the mind
Posted: 1/19/2005 11:14:26 AM
oh neo.. thank you sooo much.. do leave a trail of you whenever you feel like the need arises..

all the best

oh and i expect that your daughter is every bit as beautiful as you are inside and out..

take care

Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 106
Confessions of the mind
Posted: 1/19/2005 6:35:05 PM
aaaaaaaaaah danny that was gorgeous.. hope you are well love..

all the best
love always

Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 107
Confessions of the mind
Posted: 1/20/2005 6:34:21 AM
well thank you sooo much Cross that means alot coming from you ..

thank you for honoring my ground..

all the best

Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 108
Confessions of the mind
Posted: 1/21/2005 10:54:07 AM
Hopes and Kicks

They say it’s the pick, but I think,
It’s the look that is worth a thousand words.
Just one look and without the spark, I know
I’m going to disembark. Disengage my self,
Despite the popular rage, they say I’m
Not all on one page.

Weird they say, but I believe, I am just,
Tired of being second best, to all the rest.
I know that I will not settle for less than the best.

For all those who don’t understand, and think
I’m out of hand, Listen up and be prepared for
A scandal. I’m no vandal, but I am willing to
Vandalise a heart such as his, for he refuses to
Grant me what he wants; thinking it’s what I don’t.
He refuses to confront me, therefore he doesn’t know
That it’s all I am waiting for. If only I could tell him,
Then we would know for sure, that a heart is able to soar.

Instead I am forced to come back to earth,
And reality gives birth. Truth is born and dreams
I do thee mourn. Realistic becomes mandatory and,
Instead of rhymes, I feel like I’ve written an obituary.
Dark and broody I am, yet I can’t help but feel a flutter of Hope.

What is it with the female and Hope, you’d think by now
We would broaden the scope. Instead we continue the affair
And our emotions go through wear and tare. Tears overflow
And we become all that we vowed never to bestow. So it is
Because of this, I say: throw all caution to the wind, let
Improper and tradition follow in toe.

Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 109
Confessions of the mind
Posted: 1/21/2005 1:43:54 PM
Anytime you feel like you just can’t hold on
Just hold on to my love
And I’ll help you be strong.
But you’re so afraid to lose
And, baby I can’t reach your heart
I can’t face this world
It’s keeping us apart
When I could be the one to show you
Everything you missed before
Just hold on now
Cause I could be the one to give you more (Let you know!!)

Anytime you need love baby I’m on your side
Just let me be the one that can make it all right (I can make it all right)
Anytime you need love baby you’re in my heart
I can make it all right

Now there’s no way out
And I can’t help the way I feel
Cause baby all the fire
And I’ll be waiting right here
You know my love is real

Anytime you time you need love baby I’m on your side (You know)
Just let me be the one that can make it all right (I can make it alright)
Anytime you need love, baby you’re in my heart!
I can make it all right, yeah

Anytime you need love baby I’m on your side (I’m you’re side)
Just let me be the one that can make it all right (Let me be the one)
Anytime you need love baby you’re in my heart (Let me be the one, Let me be the one) (Alright)

Anytime you need love baby you’re in my heart
I can make it all right, all right

-Kelly Clarkson
Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 110
Confessions of the mind
Posted: 1/22/2005 6:17:55 PM
oh you two..
thank you so much for making it home in here and i thank you both for your kind words and i feel the love...

all the best
Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 111
Confessions of the mind
Posted: 1/23/2005 1:13:15 PM
Thanks for stopping by Longte.. i am truly honored and i hope you had a good read in here..

all the best
Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 112
Confessions of the mind
Posted: 1/24/2005 7:30:31 AM
great peom Novemberrain i hope you stay.. you are talented i can really feel it..
welcome and i hope you feel at home already

all the best
Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 113
Confessions of the mind
Posted: 1/24/2005 11:01:28 AM
For him… I hope you can one day understand these words…

Looking through you

When I look at you, I feel the world disappear,
And all that’s left behind is you and I. In your eyes
I never see indecision, just plane old recognition.
You recognise the heat that I emanate and it makes
You want to retaliate with fire of your own. But instead,
You find yourself about to emancipate and the feeling
Beckons you to start a debate

You fight feeling and despite the cliché,
I think you’re out to make yourself sound blasé,
Yet all you’re doing is never facing those demons
And, yes I do say! “Surprised”!
Oblivious I am not, the obvious, however, is always copious.
My silence is never nonchalance, merely an indecisive
Gesture, which is intended to grant you that which you
So preciously crave.

Not meant to degrade or point a finger, these emotions
I feel have such vigour. This is a way to bring them to the
Surface, so I am silently dealing with this never ending feeling.
Always unsure of the need to settle the score, we both tend to
Ignore and the heat reaches a fever pitch.

Emotions scream out loud making it impossible for them to
Be masked, it’s a double jeopardy and I’m asking for the part.
It comes with consequences but so does life’s sequences, I
Definitely understand and all I want is for you to take my hand.
Together we can live with Love’s demands and begin to believe
In what this Life grants.

Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 114
Confessions of the mind
Posted: 1/24/2005 12:27:59 PM
Souls Bear
“This is just something that consumes my thoughts in my every waking hour”.

Laid your soul bare, plane for all to see,
The question still likes unanswered, who is
The keeper of that fiery soul
Tired of waiting in the sidelines, I know now that I have to claim the prize.
Despite all my vows, over and over again,
I fight the truth and oh what a glory it would be,
To go back to the beginning again
Lyrics invoke such strong feelings, musicality sheer genius, your mind ever a mystery.
Refusal on your part, I feel like you’re waiting
For something to give you a start
Confusion ever present
Signals mixed, we both give off an aura of the need to be fixed.
You inspire me, you make me angry, and yet
It’s like I’m a glutton for punishment,
I keep coming back and it all begins with cool refreshment.
I need to get past this; I need to know, JOE,
Before it’s too late and someone else makes you
Lose your breath, Maybe that’s what I need to realise my Youth’s death.

Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 115
Confessions of the mind
Posted: 1/24/2005 5:58:21 PM
hey danny..
thanks...just some stuff that i am going through that helps me put some stuff into perspective..

yes they are all about me and my sordid life...he he he..

love you
Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 116
Confessions of the mind
Posted: 1/25/2005 7:21:22 AM
Novemberrain... it has come back or is on its way in.. cause well you're here arent you..
you are always welcome here and as you can see you can feel the love straight off..
all the best...bubbles

Newlysingle.. thanks for stopping by love and yah i guess i am on a role.. my emotions are at an all time high and i have to get them out you for reading and supporting..
all the best and much love..bubbles

Neo.. my sister.. i love you too and i just know that you will get all you are yearning for soon..
stay as cool as you you..hugs and squeezes..bubbles

Danny... hey man.. i love you much and i hope all is well..howz hayley..hope she is doing was great seeing you in here and as always you honor me by being here..
love you ever so much..bubbles

this one is for all my pent up feelings which i have to let out at some point and there is only one way in which i can do it.. i need the courage and the perseverance...
"For You, please dont run away from the truth"...


My thoughts shattered, my eyes hurt from with holding
The tears, a lump forms in my throat from choking back
The feelings, I know now what affects me about you, and
What keeps me yearning for you; I’ve caused my heart so
Much misery, yet the confessions I have weigh so much
And still remain a mystery

Dear father up above, please grant me the strength I
Need to unclench my jaws, let me release this flooded
Heart from its sea of fears, let the tears flow, leaving a
Warm glow, even it turns out sad, please don’t let me be mad.
Want it to end, but have to stop it on my own, my sadness once again
Has a life of its own.

Unable to explain its existence, only that it’s met with resistance,
Happiness is seen laughing in the distance, I realise I need assistance.
But no one is there, and my soul I do need to bear, afraid of the forces of
My emotions which cause a commotion, is this what it takes to realise
Love’s devotion, if so, then let peace dwell within and let the healing begin

Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 117
Confessions of the mind
Posted: 1/25/2005 11:43:46 AM
i just entered this in the contest for fun, cheers

The beginning of the end

Back to the beginning, the same song plays along in my head.
It appropriately appears and disappears, oh what drab occurrences
These are, a state of dejection becomes a constant fad.

Feelings pummelled and emotions take flight, nonchalance
Awaits a much needed resurrection, words tumble on and on
In my mind, suffering and sadness are never far behind.

Self pity and self centeredness lurk and wait for the chance
To give the devil a run for his work, Shame is suppressed and once
Again I end up feeling stressed.

“Don’t take it personal”, I’m sure to burst and what bites is
What irks, tired of this constant drone, as soon as I reach a decision
The beat proceeds with a definitive precision, and the band plays on.

Resolve is drowned out by the melody, and the sultry tones
Scream for the thoughts to stop. Over and over and over again the band
Plays on, feelings plummet further still, taking me right back to the beginning again
Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 118
Confessions of the mind
Posted: 1/25/2005 12:47:39 PM
this one is a bit contreversial.. yet something we all face every single hour of lives..

Colors Prefaced

The color of my skin does not define my being,
Just because I am crème, they treat me like I am green.
Yet all I want is to be treated with feeling in between.

It saddens me that life has to be so transparent, apparent
However, is black and white, brown hence is defined with
Shades of grey

Forgiveness is ever spoken, promises shattered and humanity broken.
When did Love ever choose, for hate loves to loose and morality becomes
Loosed, intelligence antagonised, jeopardised for the sake of fitting in.

Good is never recognised for what it really is, for to be pure
Is to be of solid shades and lore, never given a chance, leaving
An excuse for abuse and the shrugging off of responsibility

The crime is certainly always about the dime, but the time has
Come to face all that’s graced, words to be strong ever spoken,
Yet the notions are never erased just always prefaced.

Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 119
Confessions of the mind
Posted: 1/26/2005 7:32:59 AM
oh you guys thank you sooo much...

newlysingle.. your support i will forever be grateful for and i am glad that my writes touched you as much as yours touched me... thanks for making it home in here and do come visit all you like..luv ya hon...bubbles

Neo.. hey love, how are you.. thanks once again for just being you and i hope your children enjoyed the poem, its a constant problem that lurks in dark corners where ever i go.. i guess i have to just realise that thats the way its going to be always.. i cant change how i look but i certainly can deal with it in the best way i see fit.. i love you for being here and for reading and keeping in touch.. you have touched me more than you know..

all the best and that job will come soon, i just know it..

Love always
Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 120
Confessions of the mind
Posted: 1/26/2005 10:49:52 AM
“For you, I hope you get this and take it into consideration”.

Stunned into silence, you make my body melt
With a climatic violence, unable to speak, limbs weak,
You give me this strange feeling that I surely can’t leak.

Its amusing, its pure, its confusing and also an infection
I can’t seem to cure. You’re rhymes touch me in more
Ways than I care to explain, thus leaving me once again in awe.

Your mind and your body leave me in sweet allure, yet, secrets,
Lies, deceit, and laughter give an uncanny bemusement.
Shrug away all your doubts and focus on the here and now, let’s live
Forever in the sweet hereafter, this we should vow.

Right now, hunger thirsts and I need fulfilment before my
Body bursts. Heed this, see this, feel it and let’s revel in its ecstasy.
Together lets conquer what we know we need, and give this body
What it yearns to feed

Joined: 12/19/2004
Msg: 121
view profile
Confessions of the mind
Posted: 1/26/2005 4:29:21 PM
Here is one that wrote about this semi relationship that I am in.....lemme know what u think....

............MY WALL............

Take a chance....Thats what you told me......Let it go thats what you said......Kissing my face.....Rubbing my body with your hands......Carressing.........squeezing.......loving........Happiness is what you called it......smiles and laughs.....hugs and kisses.........showers and's gotta more......Cant let it wall is up and you poured concrete over it.....I dont want to hurt you......u say....I want us to be friends....u told me......Dont turn out like me......ur Stirring the concrete.....u pour it over me.....securing the wall.....I am a kind love..........I am moving on from you.....taking my wall from you......never will it fall again and for that I thank you.......

THere it is yall........its not the greatest but hey.....its a confession of my mind.....laterz

Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 122
Confessions of the mind
Posted: 1/27/2005 11:30:21 AM
Thank you all for giving such fulfilling Confessions, truly hope the mind has been freed..

i love you Neo, thanks.. bubbles

This one is dark and kind of broody...Just exactly how i feel..


I don’t know where to start, my feelings, buried
Deep inside my heart, rock bottom they say,
Addictions become the beginning of my life’s longest ever essay.

Longest day of your life, try enduring the longest
Truth if you like. Fight, evaporates leaving
Me weak and learning lessons of meek.

Benefit of the doubt a distant shout, walls
I have built become stronger with stout.
Astounded am I at how gullible yet loveable I’ve become.

I’ve reached a crossroads and burrow further
Into despair, unable to articulate what I need to
Orchestrate, I’ve entered a familiar alley I’ve tried to obliterate.

Lethargic within my own walls of independence,
I feel alone and with this, come decadence of the mind.
Completely of my own doing, I feel trapped and left behind.

Colors and shades echo warnings of causes,
Loathing of the rhetorical, gives blame an excuse
To applaud, I retire, once again on my knees begging for the Lord.
Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 123
Confessions of the mind
Posted: 1/28/2005 7:22:46 AM

I’ve run the marathon of Life’s decisions,
Yet I’m left feeling like a Frisian.
Foreign and unfulfilled, inside lives a dull ache
From constant thoughts and once again I’m running from the friction.

Fiction, my one and only escape, Sooner
Or later I’ll have the answer for a prettier landscape.
Over and over again I ask myself the same question
Until my insides yell for me to breathe with glorified ease

Still my brain won’t listen, yet my heart still wants
Me to believe, I stop dead and realise all I am is bereaved.
Never am I relieved, for relief comes with the belief that the
Storm one day will be quelled.

My life feels like it’s about to crumble before me,
Please don’t let this facade tumble. Here I am the worst
Grumble, when others have had to endure the nastiest rubble, Peace
Please arrive on the double, give despair and confusion a spade and shovel.

Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 124
Confessions of the mind
Posted: 1/29/2005 4:26:09 PM
thanks you... i really do appreciate it..
love you for it
Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 125
Confessions of the mind
Posted: 1/30/2005 1:15:09 PM
this one is still for him and what i feel but its to chase the blues away


No more pretenses, just defenses,
Attacks of my senses is squelched thus leaving
Me still with my chastity belt in check

Intact will be sanity and yet every time
I look in the mirror, I see the loss of my
Vanity, this is enough to cause me my insanity.

Staring back at me will be regret, who would have
Thought that this life would grant me this type of bet.
With this realization, I am forever indebted to advice,
Hence ever feeling trapped in an episode of Miami Vice.

If this is what it takes for your grip to falter, alter my course
I surely must, for an altercation is long overdue. Vacation of reality
The juice of life, the realization enough to cause continuous hives.

The sun shines and numb climbs higher up the grapevines of calm.
No harm done, just me stuck in tawdry glum, feeling mauve, when
I need to feel love, Reds and blacks the colors of strife, I feel the need
To become the melodramatic wife
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