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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?      Home login  
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 Jen-tl-men
Joined: 4/5/2007
Msg: 53
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?Page 4 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Well I don't believe in having sex on a 1st date for sure. I really don't think it's appropriate on the 2nd or 3rd either. That's just me. If I had SEX with a woman on the first date then I would lose respect for her and think she is EASY. Also start to wonder if she does this with every man. In addition, I much rather have sex down the line when we both have gained feelings for each other. I don't believe in just fing a woman but I want to make love to her mind, body and soul. Yes, make Love to her. Also if I'm not getting the job done in the sack then I would rather her tell me so I can find out how to fix the problem. Faking would hurt me. In addition, the guys the talk the most are usually the worse ones. When a guy talks BIG then that places an enormous amount of pressure on himself because he has talked up this high expectations. Therefore, the woman is expecting this wonderful session. Instead don't say anything and then too much isn't expected because there weren't all these promises going in. I think you leave yourself room for error and/or improvement. I know the guys are gonna be on me for this post. I don't give a RAT'S BOOTY THOUGH.javascript:smilie('')
javascript:smilie('')

Kevin
 whisper67520
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 55
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How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 7/12/2007 7:31:42 AM
When I first came on the online dating scene, I chatted, got to know a guy pretty well. We had long talks via the phone and he shared with me a comment his son had made regarding online dating sites. Said he got more sex off the dating sites than he ever got out of a bar and cost him lots less.

I have met several guys in person and no matter what they have told me beforehand, it always comes down to them wanting/expecting sex, first date. The reactions to the word NO have run the gambit from near rape to extremely rude.

That's why I'm just not looking anymore. I want a guy who has respect for women, has integrity, values, morals and knows how to be a gentleman, I've not found him and am inclined to think.....lol I live in a fantasy world.

I think women today just have more will power and respect for themselves than the men do. I love the closeness, the intimacy, the sensuality and the love making, but I have more respect for myself, than to be someones jump in the hay. Besides, I know I'm good and don't have to prove anything to anyone.
 Wanda49
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 56
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 7/12/2007 9:51:20 AM

Things have changed a lot in the dating scene, yet they remain the same. A lot of women want romance and fake the sex, a lot of men want sex and fake the romance. Thats why many relationships end so quickly. You can fool some people some of the time, but not for long.


VERY TRUE.. Someone can only hide their true colors for so long. It is the guys who fake the romance to get sex that bothers me. Those kind of guys will meet you more than once to try to pretend for as long as they need to they are interested in more than sex. No matter what, you will find out how genuine they are sooner or later.. just hope you don't believe he is honest and trust him so you will get hurt when you find out he is only another player.

My defination of a player is someone who pretends to be someone he isn't and pretend to care a lot about you and be what you are looking for so you will care about him, but the only reason he is doing that is so you will be happy to have sex with him. Sadly, sometimes you don't realize it until you do care for them enough to have sex with him and then you find out he was only pretending to be someone he wasn't and turns into a totally different person. After he gets what he wants, he finds a reason to disappear so he doesn't have to commit to anyone. That is what I call a player.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 57
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How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 7/12/2007 1:25:28 PM
Oh my- it must be me. I mean they probably
want sex but none have actually come out and
proposed it - they stare alot- does that count.
Something is wrong with me. I read here how women
have sex with guys when they first meet them- or guys
proposing sex at the first meet. No - this has never happened-
Maybe I give a vibe off that says-
" I will blow you after I get to know you better."
I really dont care what people do the first time they meet someone.
I just worry about what I do and how I handle myself.
 KitNbootz
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 58
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 7/12/2007 1:50:56 PM
Every last one of them!

But not one of them ever got laid by me on a first date, that's for sure. They can want all they want but they can't have-- at least on a first date they won't! Not with me.

Happy fishing!
 jan_fobia
Joined: 8/6/2006
Msg: 59
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 7/12/2007 4:35:04 PM
Things havent changed much since I was a teenager....They are gonna try and see how far they can get with you. Only now I'm older and wiser and I know a line when I hear one....usually....
 abrethoffreshair
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 60
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How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 7/12/2007 5:09:31 PM
...I've lost count.
 Devenjohn
Joined: 6/3/2007
Msg: 61
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 7/12/2007 7:45:50 PM
None!
Guess I'm just lucky like that
 Devenjohn
Joined: 6/3/2007
Msg: 62
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 7/13/2007 12:43:00 PM

Oh, and yes, we are all looking for sex as quick and easily as possible.


Do me a favor? Don't speak on my behalf. Mkay? Thanks.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 63
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How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 7/14/2007 7:27:52 AM

We love sex as much as you guys do!! ..But even if all we want to do is RIP YOUR CLOTHES OFF at the end of our first date...we can't... we will feel bad...we will wonder if you think we are slut and not worth really getting to know....we will have all these guilty feelings...but if you leave us knowing that you can't wait to get to know us better.....and make plans for our next date...We will go home and think about you all night we will have butterflies in our stomach everytime we think of you:) We might even go shopping fora little something sexy for the night that we can without guilt RIP YOUR CLOTHES OFF and have our way with you ;)
I love this post. But I don't want ANY woman to feel guilty for desiring me. I want her to save it, and to savour the moment when it is right for the both of us.

I don't want to try it on, because I don't WANT to find out that she's easy. I'd rather pretend that she isn't, and hope that she tries to live up to my expectations.

The fact that I'm even dating you should tell you that I am attracted to you, and am hoping for sex with you at some point. If you cannot figure that one out, then either you cannot read a man's signals unless he's as subtle as a sledgehammer, or you're so used to guys pawing at you that you cannot imagine anyone else and assume anyone with a grain of self-control must be gay.

Or, you've dated a lot of gay guys. Says a lot about you, that guys will date you to appear straight, and you won't notice that he's been ogling the waiter's package all night.

But if we do try it on, and it's too soon, and you haven't given any indications that you want it to happen, and you let it happen, then, yes, you're easy to get into bed.

If that's true, what happens if we have an argument and you're upset? Does that mean that if a guy befriends you, and listens to you as you complain about me, that you won't notice if he's sticking his hand up your blouse, or not even care? Guys look for the vulnerable lay all the time. It's like the cheetah going after the weak, lame and very young antelopes.

I don't want to have to worry about you all the time when we're alone, or when we're out and I go to the toilet. So, even if I'll keep dating you, I'll keep getting angry because I'm worried about you fooling around on me, and there's very little I can do about it, apart from follow you around, and that's just smothering you.

I don't want to control you. I want you to control yourself.

If you cannot figure out that I cannot trust you because you act like you're easy, I'm not going to spell it out to you. You can figure it out for yourself.

But it does mean you aren't ready for a relationship. Maybe with someone else who's not bothered about fidelity and trust. But I am faithful, and a cheating woman is not what I'm looking for. A prostitute is more honest. If you wouldn't date a man who's slept with a hooker, then accept that being easy to get into bed is worse.

Now, I'm not against a woman having one-night-stands. I'm all for women with confidence. But there is a difference between a woman who makes it clear to everyone who knows that it was just a shag, and a woman who acts like she wanted a relationship, and she let him talk her into casual sex. One is strong and one is weak.

Either make sure no-one knows, or make sure that everyone knows that you chose to have casual sex, and not him. That way, I actually know that if you are dating me, and you don't want casual sex with anyone else, it's unlikely that you'll cheat on me. Makes it easier for me to trust you.
 Wanda49
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 64
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 7/16/2007 3:02:19 PM
I made the mistake of looking through the women's profiles and see what my compitition is..... I was shocked to see how many married women are also looking for 'discrete fun'.. or only looking for sex. Why we have so much trouble with men only wanting sex in here is because that is what they seem to think everyone expects when you meet someone.

Is it possible to find someone who isn't only in this place to find someone to have sex with? Now I know why I have been in here for over 2 years and not having any luck finding a guy who would consider doing something else. Men expect sex on a first meet because he has usually gotten it so that is all he expects.

If you are on this site, does that mean that it is expected if you agree to meet someone? That is mostly what I have seen with guys I have met. If they meet you and they see you aren't someone who is going to have sex with him right away, you never see or hear from them again because that is what anyone wants to meet anyone else for.. but no one sent me that memo..

Now I know what the problem has been. I have been wasting my time in this place.
 whisper67520
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 65
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How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 7/16/2007 10:13:45 PM
Wanda...."I made the mistake of looking through the women's profiles and see what my competition is..... I was shocked to see how many married women are also looking for 'discrete fun'.. or only looking for sex"

I did the same and I'm sorry to say, it appears the Internet dating sites have become a MEAT MARKET. In regard to both sexes, it is sad to see what has become of a great idea of SINGLE PEOPLE having an opportunity to meet other SINGLES on most dating sites.

Those of us, who genuinely wish to meet a single person, of quality, with the hopes of a good, loving, future connection with like minded people.....it appears that those who have no regard for fidelity, morals, integrity, values and commitment, have taken over and ruined it for most of the rest of us.

It's not that I'm sitting in judgement of others choices, just saying how it appears, but personally I don't like having to see it or be subjected to contacts in that regard and there are sites for falandering marrieds or hound-dogs to seek their level of connection.

I'm a loving, compassionate, sensual women and I would love to find a mate that would value and respect that I am. But I've pretty well given up on that happening, from the experiences I have had.

It appears, for the most part, that it is those of us who want to use the Singles Dating Sites for their intended purpose.......who are the losers. That is Sad...
 gammo
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 67
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 9/3/2007 6:11:00 PM
I think some perspective needs to be kept here.
Net dating leaves you relying on a hell of a lot of trust. You are in theory getting to know the person from the "inside out"
If you have had a long period of contact which has progressed into phone calls and the like then sex on that first date may not be considered to be unexpected or unnatural.
I agree its a bit full on expecting it after one or 2 simple messages and youve met early on.
As a male looking for a long term partner but not in a hurry to make another "mistake" by rushing into anything I feel that you will mutually decide what you think is right at the time of the meeting.
NOTHING should happen if EITHER one of you have doubts or concerns. First meetings should always be as public as possible. Ending up at a location that facilitates the sexual acts should have been something worked towards as part of the mystery/chemistry of the evening.
Besides...surely the best sex is after a good period of build up and anticipation?
 Eberts 65
Joined: 9/20/2007
Msg: 68
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 10/30/2007 12:42:10 AM
Don't any of you women ever go out with men. Try it, you would be amazed. Most men are insecure controlling ***holes who have grown older, but will never grow up. They have the emotional capacity and understanding where woman are concerned of a high schooler..Think with there****, and try to bang every women they are lucky enough to spend any amount of time with because they are cluless to what a woman really wants and deserves. Don't give up hope ladie's were not all like that. Just most of us... Steve...
 azdreaming21
Joined: 8/25/2007
Msg: 69
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How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 10/30/2007 4:15:17 AM
I've been fortunate in that no one has asked for sex on a first date but I've seen a pattern where if you don't "put out" by the third date, they either disappear or find some other excuse to not see you again.
I'm holding out because I'm worth it. I learned early in life that waiting for the right one is more important to me than dinner and casual sex. There are too many STD'S, too many instances of other women I know who have met men ( some on this site) who have sex after just a date or two and then those guys disappear within a couple of weeks.
I want a partner, a lover and a friend. I will not settle for being a "friends with benefits", nor will I compromise my self respect and put myself at risk to "please" some recent acquaintance. In my opinion, is extremely important to wait because
"if he's not going to stay around, I'm not laying down."
Just stick to your morals and values.and safe yourself a lot of grief. The right man will not rush you and will appreciate a woman who has respect for herself.
Good luck.
 upstate-gal
Joined: 8/15/2007
Msg: 71
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 10/30/2007 5:33:32 AM
Well... the things your are looking for in your profile 'tip off' the men:

Hang out = sex on the first date
short term = sex on the first date
long term = sex on the first date, and more after that
intimate encounter = just sex, no date
talk/email = cybersex
dating = oh boy... the jack pot!

 wildpassion
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 72
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 10/30/2007 8:18:11 AM
ummmmm , now that is a hard one. every damn one of them...... well yeah u know what there thinking? screw them first if thay are any good than date them. that is guys for you.
 im2cuteferu
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 73
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How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 10/30/2007 9:30:36 AM

you have to realize that you are leading him on and wasting his time if you meet and drink alone with him,

That is ridiculous! If I meet anyone by myself and have a drink then I'm automatically leading him to think he's getting sex? I guess I'm leading my kid on as well, and my neighbor, and my pastor, etc! You're nuts!
 YourDarkAngel
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 74
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 11/6/2007 2:08:44 PM


Wow, one sexist generalization after another. Is it any wonder why decent ment have trouble with women when facing such discrimination? I think you've just had a string of bad luck. If I met a woman purely thinking that this going to be a friendship thing, I treat it as such. Enough said. I have rules I abide by. If a woman isn't available, why pursue her?


Good point, misterhero.
 whisper67520
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 75
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How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 11/6/2007 11:58:44 PM
It's a proven fact......lots of men, think with their "little heads". That's what tends to get them in trouble.....
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 77
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 11/8/2007 3:16:06 PM
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?

ummm....all of 'em, pretty much.
Most had the class and the grace not to come out and ASK, but I think we can safely assume that most people, regardless of gender, are interested in sex,at some point in time, or they wouldn't bother with the dating game in whatever form they choose to pursue.

I love your thought about women asking you for sex on the first meeting. I feel the same way about men, whose minds go that way on the first meeting.

I got news for ya, everybody's mind goes that way, and often on the first meeting. That doesn't mean we all let our minds lead us into trashy behavior!Indeed on many first meetings, my mind's eye would see us having sex. Then my brain would get all riled up and want to POKE OUT my mind's eye! I'm happy to report that since my mind's eye has gotten glasses, my first meetings are much less emotionally chaotic, I can meet a guy and think, "oh HELL no!" without squinting and adjusting the light...
Cindy O
 migivadamsbusted
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 78
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 11/9/2007 6:57:09 AM
all of them... !!!!!
 echo*
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 79
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 11/9/2007 12:07:32 PM
Lol, I'd say about 60% are blatant about wanting it. I've wanted it about 20% of the time. I'm not saying it turns out this way, but that's about the breakdown of interest. The other 20% of the time is that we both know it ain't gonna happen, ever.
 orchidtigress
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 80
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 11/9/2007 7:50:15 PM
Only a handful...okay less...about three in my whole entire life and none of them were from a dating site!

On the flipside, yes most I have met from POF are interested and willing to have sex on the first meet....for those ones I suggest therapy or to visit the local street corner to find a hooker. I have no time to waste on sex-starved idiots!
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 11/10/2007 7:22:45 AM
I don't meet a lot of people but of the last 4 I've met 2 let me know after an hour or so of sitting in a coffee shop that they wanted much, much more. One then revealed he had a long-term girlfriend but he liked variety. I left and he kept messaging me after, telling me how hot looking he was (to me he really wasn't), telling me how well hung he was (I never looked and really didn't care) and how he was so good at this or that (if you have to brag, you're insecure and are lousy at it). I finally blocked him from contacting him.

The other was just a game player who was playing the field at POF but something tells me he would have been awesome in bed.

I met a man and a woman from another site (we'd all talked as friends for months in a chat room). They weren't a couple, just drove up together, and my boyfriend (at the time) and I met them for lunch. Over lunch the other male told me -- right in front of my boyfriend -- that if it didn't work out with him, let him know as he'd want me. When we went to leave and he hugged me, he rubbed up enough to let me know he was turned on, which totally turned me OFF, even if I had been interested or single.

For 2 years after that he'd email now and then and ask me to meet him for lunch, but since I knew what he wanted to eat, I passed and he finally got the hint.
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