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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Stop being a NICE guy      Home login  
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 Lazyboyz
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 26
Stop being a NICE guyPage 2 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
It's the 'nice' guy's that are always hogging the front page of any
newspaper.
 Lazyboyz
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 27
Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/16/2005 7:53:16 PM
Pepsi instead of Coke, or roast instead of porkchops


DAMN!! Again, all this time I never realized such dweebs existed until I
hear it from this forum. They aren't being NICE; they're so insecure that
they're trying to conceal their insecurity behind NICENESS which
gives the rest of the truly nice guy's a bad name.

nice guy's finish last Those types of NICE damn well better.
 carribeanking7
Joined: 4/10/2005
Msg: 28
Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/16/2005 9:00:29 PM
The OP quoted :

#[1 you are the king and don't ever let anyone tell you that you are not.

-> Ummm OK....thanks for the tribute.]


#2 [I know deep inside you just want to treat her like a
princess and be "nice" to her but it will never work my friend.]

--> really now ? The last lady who I treated like a princess married me & gave me 2 beautiful children.

Advise to :OP STOP eating shrooms while you are reading David Deangelo's double your dating newsletters.

It is true that nobody is attracted to needy persons of either gender but what you propose
is preposterous (pardon mua) - I offer a viable alternative :-

TEN TIPS FOR THE NICE GUY


1.The definition nice varies from woman to woman
2.You may think you are a nice guy...she may not think youre the right guy
3.Actions not words are what you look for..ex if she says your nice..it doesnt mean shes into you...if she doenst call .or .contact you often..take a hint...move on.
4.She does not owe you an explanation as to why she rejects you.
5.Be nice by all means...but dont be boring..develop spontaniety and a sense of humor.
6.Enjoy your own company..if you cant do that ..dont expect others to enjoy your company
7.Rejection is part and parcel of life...ask any hardcore salesman..learn to accept it.
8. Have equal say in the relationship from the beginning ..(otherwise one party will start a similar thread....LOL)
9.Do activities that you enjoy with friends and family...dont center your life on her.
10.Accept that we will all part one day from friends,lovers,spouses because of choice ,circumstance and unavoidably death.

This concludes todays lesson on "From nice guy to wise guy"

I live by the above commandments and am a much saner and happier person for it..
Hope this helps a little - Best Regards to you all
 Lazyboyz
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 29
Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/16/2005 9:21:34 PM
Could people stop referring them as 'nice guy's? It's enough.
 Lazyboyz
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 30
Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/16/2005 9:29:26 PM
Because by your guys' description, "nice guy" is a misnomer.

For the longest time I was scared of being the NICE GUY (which in real life i truly am)
and now I realize it wasn't me that was being described but some
insecure duffuss that some ladies here found themselves dating.

Or am I not grasping the description yet?

Ahh...shouldn't have said duffuss....but, you know. LOL
 BkzBoSsLaDii
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 31
Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/17/2005 2:05:29 PM
NOW I KNOW IMMA GET FLAMES FOR SAYING THIS BUT:

SCROLL DOWN






























S~T~F~U.... IF U KNOW ALL OF THAT..... Y DID U FALL PREY........ DUHHHHHH I KNOW U WISH U KNEW BACK THEN WHAT U KNOW NOW..... STOP VENTING AND GET RESULTS
 Lazyboyz
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 32
Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/17/2005 3:12:58 PM
I'm sure I'm paraphrasing somebody here but TRYING to be ANYTHING
including NICE or BAD reeks of EFFORT....it's FAKE. It would have been
far more benificial had you remained true to yourself.
 paul_31
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 33
Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/17/2005 8:12:03 PM
I really think sometimes that I should stop being nice cause it causes nothing but heartache. But really I don't think I could and plus I want to be a good role-model to my son.
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 34
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Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/18/2005 6:56:16 AM
being a “nice guy” is the surest way to get yourself f*cked over.
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 35
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Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/18/2005 10:02:15 AM
an I just put the bottom line to this kind of discussion once and for all - People are stupid. They do stupid things, get involved in bad situations and do things that generally go against any form of logic and/or reason.
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 36
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Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/18/2005 12:30:51 PM
Indigo’s gots a “baby?” Very interesting.
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 37
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Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/18/2005 12:34:18 PM

Consider the source of this thread, a common playboy.

You say that like it’s a bad thing.


Now let me get my history right, do men of strength and honor sleep around with just anyone

John F. Kennedy ... check
George Washington ... check
Thomas Jefferson ... check
Madison, Monroe ... check, check

Seems they do

 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 38
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Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/18/2005 12:35:32 PM

Women, despite what they say, don't give a damn how nice you are, only how good you look. And then they p*ss and moan about how they got played. Well boo freakin' hoo! Live with it!

Epiphany of the day!!!
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 39
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Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/18/2005 12:51:33 PM

without the diseases, broken hearts, and unexpected babies.

Dude, that’s total crap and you know it. Diseases, unexpected pregnancies and broken hearts are not confined to jacka$$es alone. For all you know you could meet a woman who has finally decided to clean up her act, meet a nice guy and settle down. Three months later your condomn breaks, you have an unexpected child on the way. While she’s going to the OBGYN, she learns she has AIDS and you soon learn you contracted the same from her and that your child is likely to have the disease, too. All of that seems as though it would be pretty heartbreaking, don’t ya think?

Not that I would wish that upon you or anyone, but it’s completely plausible.
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 40
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Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/18/2005 1:00:11 PM

I bet you've lost heaps of credibility here

#1 I’ve never had credibility here.
#2, to answer your initial question, the dude I was responding to asserted that nice guys avoid unpleasant things like disease, unwanted pregnancies and heart break. I simply put forth a very plausible scenario in which all three of those things could in fact occur to a nice guy. It’s not always about who you are choosing to sleep with, it’s also about who that person has slept with.
 Mr_CLEAN
Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 42
Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/18/2005 2:16:21 PM
JayJay, Good thread, but your delivery needs work. Secondly, this type of a thread should have been posted to a male only forum, which ofcourse doesn't exist. You should only tell these things to your guy friends. I see where you are coming from and I like that you brought this up. But believe it or not, there actually are women out there who like Sissy boys. And there actually are Sissy boys out there who like Dominant controlling women. It is sort of like Politics with a woman. Do you want your rights and freedoms? or do you want to make sure you are being fed, taken care of, etc as a man and all you worry about is bringing food to the table, maybe dish out half the rent. What women WANT...actually let me put it better, what they NEED is totally different than what they are attracted to.

If a a woman really digs you, her perception of attraction will actually CHANGE. I've seen women go from wanting a surfer to a bench warming nerd, and they cant explain WHY.

You make excellent points and you are right, that is how a majority of interactions SHOULD take place and I know its not supposed to make sense but it just works. But for God's sake man, you don't post up a thread of this sort because you know that pretty much every girl will jump in here defending herself. You say one thing about WOMEN, (women with an E, thats right) and every woman, (woman with an a) jumps you and everything suddenly is about HER and how she is different.

Implication has done for most women, what the wheel has done for man.

Man invented the wheel so later on he could put a box on top of it and be able to get away from a woman faster than if he was running.

Hahaha...these are just some jokes, ladies, don't get offended and If you cant take a joke, you need to know that I wont be paying attention to anyone with a negative thought or some other hormonal imbalance.

Yes there are woman who do want a nice guy. But using the term nice guy, is just way too ambigous. So is bad boy. There are no pre-defined characteristics for either type unless it was written in a book.

Anyways, its a good post, youre on Point, but you are going to get burnt by many women. You can follow your own advice, and just not pay any attention. Just letting you know that there actually are nice girls out there if not on POF who do want a nice guy.
 Mr_CLEAN
Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 43
Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/18/2005 2:37:21 PM
man0man: Excellent post. Let me add that women like to work towards a goal with a man. Many don't realize that changing him is not going to work.

--------------------
The badboy attitude is good for the short term but if you do ever want to pursue a more serious relationship, then yes, the honesty, trust, etc has to be there.

What women say they want is not what they want in the beginning. Meaning, a woman does not want you to dump all of you onto her all at once.

So many women do know what they want, they just dont know how to tell a man what they want, so men go about saying "women dont know what they want"

I maintain a fairly good balance. I like to be the one who approaches the woman in real life. To top it off, I'll approach a girl who appears to have ALL eyes on her, but guys, taller and better looking than me wouldn't have the guts to talk to. Why? simply because she is HOT. So i'll be the only guy talking to her in a room full of pansies.

Anyways, Excellent post, Man0man and JayJay. As I read the rest of the replies you got, its funny how more men seem to be flaming you than women. Women who are seemingly bossy and controlling are also getting really Spicy on this forum.

Its interesting! Cant wait to finish reading the rest of it.
 Mr_CLEAN
Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 44
Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/18/2005 2:54:38 PM

I love to meet the nice guys.......Nice guy= opening doors for you, giving you a flower hand picked or bought doesn't matter just something to let you know that you are special, holding you hand to help you out of the car. Letting you know that they are thinking about you.


What are you handicapped? You cant open a door for yourself? You need a flower to make you feel special? Does that mean you are insecure and need something else to make you feel secure? Dominant controlling women usually are insecure and seize the opportunity to get to the control switches. Hmm...

To be honest, I really would watch out for a woman who says she wants a NICE guy or in this case a Pansy.
 Mr_CLEAN
Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 45
Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/18/2005 3:11:56 PM
CONCLUSION:

After reading the entire thread...here's what I think.

People with long term goals, marriage etc, will seek a compatible mate, they can depend on and trust. A "nice guy"

Independant people who do not have any long term goals with a partner will want the "bad boy/bad girl" attitude.

As we get older, we tend to loose the "I think I'm all this and that, I'm a bad boy blah blah with an attitude" act, because some of us want to settle.

I often get emails from 40 year old women, telling me that they wish the age difference between us wasn't so high. That tells me that those women have reached a point of maturity where they are ready to settle, but I say NO, why? because its a shame, they should have thought about it earlier.

If you choose to play, play with those who want to play the same game as you.

Meaning, dont start hitting ping pong balls with baseball bats, you wont get the result you are looking for.

Thats the bottom line. It's too bad that innocent bystanders sometimes get caught in the game....

To all the nice ladies, young women, etc, who were fooled and were hurt by someone pretending to be something he was not, I want you to know that I will make sure I don't do that to any nice girls.

Bad girls, WATCH OUT. I'm on you like white on rice! I gotta say, I love the bad girls!

manOman, JayJay, time to PLAY BALL!
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 46
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Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/19/2005 8:51:17 AM
Depending on perception, I’m either extremely confident or I’m arrogant. I think I’m just me.

What I could never understand for the longest time was the saga of a friend of mine. Great guy - truly almost made me feel shameful for being allowed to breathe the same air. He was good looking - he turned the heads of many women. But when we would go out, he never had the confidence to approach a woman. I would smack him and say “She is clearly interested. Go say hi.” But he refused because he was so shy (”She doesn’t want to be bothered.”). The only thing that bugged me would be when he whined that he couldn’t get any dates, yet I always had a date with some beautiful girl. He would get mad at me at times because he perceived my brazen attitude as bordering on disrespectful to women - yet I got the dates. His base excuse always was “I just can’t act like that with a woman. I’m too nice.” Most “nice guys” shoot themselves in the feet because they simply don’t know how to approach a woman.

I always tried to tell him - you’re going to get rejected - hell, you might even get slapped a time or two (or nightly, as was my case), but at least you’re not going to be standing in the corner wondering if she’s interested.
 able2do
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 47
Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/19/2005 9:44:23 PM
I try to be mean, but I'm not very good at it!
 Mr_CLEAN
Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 48
Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/20/2005 11:49:48 AM
DBNDON: The OP is less than half your age. That being said, the values you have, and had back in your day don't work anymore.

I have a better chance of winning the lottery than finding a woman around my age with those values, etc.

Things are just Different now adays. Times have really changed. Women are different now adays. Your association with women would be completely different than what mine would be.

I highly respect people who mean well for the community, and have honor, values, and respect, but in today's world, it is simply just different.
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 49
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Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/20/2005 12:03:35 PM
Good point, Mr. Clean. Well said. The world has changed dramatically in the past 50-100 years. Society is just now catching up.
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 50
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Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/20/2005 12:10:37 PM
you can smack me for being totally anal later ... but the correct term is homo sapien sapien

...and, Taurus, I will agree on this point - jacka$$es do better. Since my divorce I gave up on being a “nice guy.” For some reason I have nmo trouble getting a date. It’s almost like women - especially those of my generation - just have no respect for you unless you have some hard edge.
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