Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 514
PolyamoryPage 21 of 22    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)
@DragonBits: Oh, I see, you were looking for troll fodder. Sorry for thinking you had legitimate questions, even if they seemed a little overly centered on sex. I'll respond for others' benefit, then.


fluid bonding, I think that is such a cute phase for unprotected sex.


It differentiates between unprotected sex generally, and unprotected sex among people who have done some (hopefully) responsible risk assessment. It's a common term among poly folks.


If you have group sex with more than one women, a man should change condoms when switching back and forth from one to the other. Not very natural.


Agreed on changing condoms. As to naturalness: well, technically, condoms aren't terribly natural, either, and it's the responsible thing to do unless you're in a well-established, fluid-bonded triad or some variation.


If a relationship is based primarily on sex, as the members grow old or have health problems, then why would they remain part of the group?


Why do you assume that a poly relationship is primarily based on sex, or more so than any other relationship? Poly is about romantic relationships, that may or may not involve sex (usually do, but not always).


Poly seems little different from swingers, or wife swapping, or FWB that all know about each other. It seems like the key is if you tell your partner about new sexual partners. The def. are all sort of grey.


There is definitely overlap between these things, though poly tends to involve more emphasis on the romantic parts of those connections than swinging or FWBs.


I was thinking a triad would be a lot of work and difficult to maintain. Thanks for confirming that.


They certainly are for most people. More people = more complexity. For those in happy triads, that extra love is worth the extra work they put in.


Of course, sleeping together also doesn't have to mean you have sex, many cultures sleep male and female in a non-sexual way in the same bed.


Of course not, though your other questions seemed sex-centered enough that I assumed from context that that's how you meant that. Sorry if that's not what you intended.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 515
Polyamory
Posted: 1/26/2012 6:30:44 PM
namrael, sorry it seemed like trolling.

Just curious. It seemed to me if you take sex completely out of the discussion, it's hard to distinguish between a poly relationship and just good friends that get together to bowl once a week. So sex seemed to me to be key.

I read a post where you used the term fluid bonding before, I can't help it, cute was what I thought, but I should have come up with a better description.

The culture here is very judgemental about sex, but other than that, I am not sure if there are any legal problems with a poly relationship.

Is there some social issues poly groups gripe about?
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 516
Polyamory
Posted: 1/26/2012 8:20:11 PM

Just curious. It seemed to me if you take sex completely out of the discussion, it's hard to distinguish between a poly relationship and just good friends that get together to bowl once a week. So sex seemed to me to be key.


So what happens when you take sex completely out of the discussion of *any* relationship? It begins to look like close friendship, or a roommate situation, etc, right? It's a component of most romantic relationships, but not the sole reason for their existence in most cases. Same with poly relationships.


Is there some social issues poly groups gripe about?


Not being taken seriously, being dismissed as a phase or not real relationships. More importantly, instances where parents lose jobs or custody of their kids for being poly (most often when a vindictive ex is involved, from what I've seen). Lack of legal rights for partners, sometimes involving parents who've raised kids from birth but have no legal access to those kids if something happens. The lack of social recognition for poly arrangements sometimes has serious consequences that harm people in very real ways.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 518
Polyamory
Posted: 1/27/2012 7:11:00 AM
namrael: Thanks for all your patience in answering these questions.

I spent quite a bit of time in Thailand, and one day I will likely retire there. Polyamory is more common there, and the society is more tolerant of many different lifestyle choices.

I don't know, if the poly group includes a pre-opt ladyboy, does that change the poly name? (JUST JOKING)

I was curious about how it works here. I doubt many of the same problems exist there, a few, but likely also new ones.

Do think people are way to serious / defensive about what other people say, post and do in their private lives, but that's isn't going to change.

Take care John
 mikenow
Joined: 4/3/2010
Msg: 519
Polyamory
Posted: 3/4/2012 5:55:06 PM
Hi Ms Ali, It is a alternative lifestyle. Not for everyone but what alternate one is? It is a very fun and exciting open lifestyle where the couple or partners are in a sexual relationship with others. I personally find it to be very exciting and satisfying. You and your partner need to keep a very high level of communication.

Mike
 tensail
Joined: 10/15/2009
Msg: 520
Polyamory
Posted: 3/4/2012 8:49:47 PM
well its v natural way of homeo sapien, so everyones happier, may not work in our unatural way of living nowadays. monogomy is a religious fabricated power controliong mechanism.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 521
view profile
History
Polyamory
Posted: 3/6/2012 8:16:45 AM
I honestly think, it is going to be the relationship of the future
the reality is, christian marriage, had nothing to do with one woman, and one man,
many people, both females and men, have had lovers on the side
this is just a much more honest form of a relationship
 juniysa
Joined: 8/26/2011
Msg: 523
Polyamory
Posted: 3/7/2012 4:48:14 PM
1. Polyamory and polyamorous relationships are not 'better' than monogamous relationships. They're just different.
2. Polyamory isn't about sex. One may think it is sex, but it's not. It's about love and building a community.
3. Polyamorous relationships have the same problems as monogamous relationships. The key to success is still the same: communication, communication, communication.
4. 'What about the kids'. With the high rates of single parents and the 'lack of parental figures', are we really getting our panties in a twist because of a kid having MORE than one father and mother figure?
5. Polyamory isn't for everyone. However for those who think that monogamy isn't compatible or feel 'trapped' by it, polyamory (and everything that falls underneath it) is good to explore. Don't think this website is the best place to get the information, though.
 deanjeffries
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 524
Polyamory
Posted: 8/18/2012 11:58:42 AM
I do believe that a polyamorous relationship can work. My wife and I have been separated for a month now, but are still best friends. We talked about it in the past, but were both too afraid to do anything about it. She is seeing someone else at the moment, and I know him. He is a great guy, but she keeps telling me she wants to live in a world were the three of us can have this kind of relationship. So yesterday I proposed we do so. He is into a threesome, and may be interested in sharing my wife with me. We are actually going to talk about it on september 15th. I can see a world where that is a positive life experience, and living my truth.
 lucky1994
Joined: 7/2/2012
Msg: 525
Polyamory
Posted: 8/18/2012 1:14:13 PM
There was a day and time when I would have said HELL NAW, but now I am at least open to the idea for a variety of reasons. What if a couple realizes that there is something one of them is lacking in the relationship but does not want to break up and are willing to bring in someone else into the picture who can fulfill that need? Say they need some extra financial help, sexual fetishes or whatever it may be. Relationships in today's stressful world are already tough enough and it is not uncommon for there to be something lacking. IJS. I am still kinda undecided about it, but not as closed minded as I used to be. I am quite aware however that we human beings are a very jealous species even though monogamy is not something we have practiced very well in spirit or in truth...
 2hotcougar
Joined: 3/29/2011
Msg: 528
Polyamory
Posted: 9/28/2012 1:19:50 PM
as long as all partys agree then let the fun begin but once you ring that bill you cant unring it so tred lightly
 lefortmatthew1
Joined: 9/7/2012
Msg: 529
Polyamory
Posted: 9/29/2012 11:19:53 AM
I am extremely open to this! Too bad there are so many restrictions on this website that don't. This site is very monogamous.
 wildlifelover79
Joined: 8/15/2012
Msg: 530
Polyamory
Posted: 9/30/2012 1:02:25 PM
I love this idea but from what I hear guys are open-minded to this and women aren't. Having a relationship with two women would be great because you wouldn't have to worry about marriage. The sex would be cool.
 wildlifelover79
Joined: 8/15/2012
Msg: 532
Polyamory
Posted: 9/30/2012 2:19:22 PM
Most women I talk to said they wouldn't want to share a guy with another woman.
 open book
Joined: 11/6/2007
Msg: 533
view profile
History
Polyamory
Posted: 9/30/2012 2:29:21 PM
Lots of people talk about true love and how it's not possible to love outside that bond. Some people are lucky enough to find a true, deep connection that lasts forever. Most of us are not so fortunate. Maybe it never happens at all, or we find a powerful bond but it doesn't last, or we keep thinking we've found it but we are mistaken. Maybe our personality or childhood experiences make it impossible. True love isn't just a fairy tale - but it isn't that common either.
But we all still need affection, acceptance, validation, companionship, and all the other things that relationships can offer, including physical intimacy. Many people - men and women - just don't really have the inner resources to handle a full-time, monogamous, interdependant commitment. It's not their fault, they just can't do it, for a variety of reasons. If people are able to work out and live with a multi-partner arrangement, then who can blame them? Of course with more people involved it becomes complicated, and compromises difficult to make because we have no cultural models. But it may take the pressure off those who can only do a partial relationship anyway - we all know people who are trying to be a couple with someone who can't quite manage it.
 GaOutdoorsman
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 534
Polyamory
Posted: 9/30/2012 3:45:39 PM
I don't see any difference in this type relationship than regular dating. Most singles nowdays have multiple partners.
 OurPolylife
Joined: 9/20/2012
Msg: 535
Polyamory
Posted: 9/30/2012 5:56:08 PM
Agreed..it is a very good read
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 536
Polyamory
Posted: 10/1/2012 12:54:26 AM

Polyamory to me, means being in more than one relationship and loving more than one person. Why should we stop loving people just because you love one person. Are we not designed to love? It's God's given gift to love. Why should we try not love and be loved as much as possible? Love makes the world go around...


Are you perchance a member of a fundamental LDS church or Islamic? Those religions I know allow men to have more than one wife. But if you are going to bring God into it, I will tell you that in my Bible, He made Eve for Adam. He did not also give him a Gina and a Julie...nor did he give Eve Adam and a Steve and a Brandon. Polyamory is also frowned upon in the New Testament as being unchaste.

Did you know that a woman's coochie-coo gets a strong fishy odor when she has multiple sex partners? Even nature itself prefers a woman to be monogamous.
 BlokeInSydney
Joined: 5/7/2012
Msg: 538
Polyamory
Posted: 10/1/2012 6:15:46 AM

Did you know that a woman's coochie-coo gets a strong fishy odor when she has multiple sex partners? Even nature itself prefers a woman to be monogamous.

What are you? 12 years old or something? It's called a vagina luv, you won't go to hell if you call something by it's proper name.

As for the 'strong fishy odour' comment, what a load of bollocks? It's an issue of personal hygiene,rather than the amount of partners a woman has.
 SmileyWoman1961
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 539
view profile
History
Polyamory
Posted: 10/1/2012 6:34:17 AM
Here's my experience...

I met a really gorgeous (in all ways) guy online who had previously been in a polyamorous relationship. Sadly, it came back to haunt him. His ex-wife loved (mother of 2 older boys and his youngest daughter who lived with him) that he'd met me and we were cool with each other. His ex-girlfriend and mother of his first daughter a year older than the youngest one) stalked his house and on the second night of us being together (because she rang the doorbell and insisted on knowing who was with him) decided that he could no longer see his elder daughter. After 4 months it became too much for a Dad to be separated from his elder daughter like this and he called it quits. The best 4 months of being loved I never thought I'd have again. But the reality is that the past comes back to haunt, regardless.

Be careful what you wish for :)
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 540
Polyamory
Posted: 10/1/2012 9:07:34 AM

Did you know that a woman's coochie-coo gets a strong fishy odor when she has multiple sex partners? Even nature itself prefers a woman to be monogamous.

What are you? 12 years old or something? It's called a vagina luv, you won't go to hell if you call something by it's proper name.

What? You don't like slang? How bout these? Birth cannon, cha cha,****pocket, coochie, cooter, fur burger, hoo-hoo, kitty, meat wallet, muffin, pink canoe, poonani, pooter, smush mitten, tampon tunnel, twitchet, vajayjay, va-ji-ji, or woogit??? (I have my favorite for the male anatomy: the boss and co-workers. Descript, clean and OH SO true.)

As for the 'strong fishy odour' comment, what a load of bollocks? It's an issue of personal hygiene,rather than the amount of partners a woman has.

Indeed. Nothing like mis/mal-information.


Here's my experience...

I met a really gorgeous (in all ways) guy online who had previously been in a polyamorous relationship. Sadly, it came back to haunt him. His ex-wife loved (mother of 2 older boys and his youngest daughter who lived with him) that he'd met me and we were cool with each other. His ex-girlfriend and mother of his first daughter a year older than the youngest one) stalked his house and on the second night of us being together (because she rang the doorbell and insisted on knowing who was with him) decided that he could no longer see his elder daughter. After 4 months it became too much for a Dad to be separated from his elder daughter like this and he called it quits. The best 4 months of being loved I never thought I'd have again. But the reality is that the past comes back to haunt, regardless.

Be careful what you wish for :)

While I empathize with your feelings ~ surely you're aware that this very same scenario happens ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the time with hetero-monogamous people ???? Stories such as yours, or rather this man you type of, are nothing new and certainly are NOT caused by polyamory. Drama such as this comes from people picking wrong people to breed/pro-create. JMO
 BlokeInSydney
Joined: 5/7/2012
Msg: 541
Polyamory
Posted: 10/1/2012 3:48:05 PM

What? You don't like slang? How bout these?

Ahh GreenEyez, maybe an overreaction on my part, but my issue was the type of slang it was. The lady's description was the kind of slang a 12-year-old would use to avoid saying a 'naughty word'.

Anybody who knows me knows I have no problem with the robust use of slang. lol
 Chretc247
Joined: 5/27/2010
Msg: 542
Polyamory
Posted: 10/16/2012 6:11:35 AM
Interested in knowing how you guys are progressing.
 Chretc247
Joined: 5/27/2010
Msg: 543
Polyamory
Posted: 10/16/2012 6:18:17 AM

I do believe that a polyamorous relationship can work. My wife and I have been separated for a month now, but are still best friends. We talked about it in the past, but were both too afraid to do anything about it. She is seeing someone else at the moment, and I know him. He is a great guy, but she keeps telling me she wants to live in a world were the three of us can have this kind of relationship. So yesterday I proposed we do so. He is into a threesome, and may be interested in sharing my wife with me. We are actually going to talk about it on september 15th. I can see a world where that is a positive life experience, and living my truth.

Interested in knowing how you guys are progressing.
 Consensuality
Joined: 7/26/2007
Msg: 544
Polyamory
Posted: 2/16/2013 12:02:35 AM
I'm curious but haven't yet tried this. It seems like there aren't that many poly folk on pof.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  >