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 wodehousefan2
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 54
Is it necessary to have common interests?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
You need to have some things in common, and some things different. Nothing in common gives you nothing to fall back on when the initial chemistry wears off. Not enough differences gives too little stimulation to move in new directions together. It is not " either/or" people...it's "a bit of both" that is needed.
 Tesserae
Joined: 10/23/2006
Msg: 56
Is it necessary to have common interests?
Posted: 9/19/2007 5:52:54 PM
I appreciate common interests, they give us something to share past memories of. Hiking for example; "Have you ever been on such and such trail in the Rockies? No?? Well let me tell you about my trip back in the '90's..." Then your partner gets all excited and you're both inspired to go on some hiking adventure together and create new memories together. Things are much easier when you first meet and are getting to know someone and it turns out you've got something in common to relate about other than the usual small talk which can seem like 20 questions from a job interview. No, I don't want to be joined at the hip with anyone, and appreciate my time for other pursuits. If he has his own, excellent, it's all about balance! People who mould their lives around each other too closely might get sick of each other when nothing new can be brought into discussions.
 GEOSC
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 57
Is it necessary to have common interests?
Posted: 9/19/2007 6:04:40 PM
As long as she likes camping ,sex, hiking, sex, fishing, sex, movies, sex, dinning out and did I mention sex.
 tmotts
Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 58
Is it necessary to have common interests?
Posted: 9/19/2007 6:10:24 PM
I love to experience new things. Our passions and hobbies don't have to be the same, but if its important to him, and he wants me to share it with him, than I would. I am very adaptable and can have fun in almost any situation. Ideally, he would be willing to do the same for me. I wouldn't expect him to like everything I like, but if it were important to me, than hopefully he too would be willing to share with me.

I think more than anything your basic values and morals should be similar in order for the relationship to be peaceful and respectful.
 tmotts
Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 59
Is it necessary to have common interests?
Posted: 9/19/2007 6:23:00 PM
LukinRnd you are one funny guy, enjoyed your little story!
 mtnskigirl
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 60
Is it necessary to have common interests?
Posted: 9/19/2007 6:38:19 PM
Interesting thread with thoughtful comments.

Common interests is an important element in a balanced relationship. I think having a connection in a shared passion helps to unite a couple. I am a ski instructor during the winter months and would love to find a passionate skier play in the moguls with me.
 Viel
Joined: 9/14/2007
Msg: 61
Is it necessary to have common interests?
Posted: 9/19/2007 6:53:25 PM
Boy, ummm, I've had it both ways. I dated someone where we had a lot in common, but I just didn't feel anything for him. Then, there was another guy I dated and we have nothing in common, infact we are opposites, but man, I was crazy for him.
I prefer having the chemistry. Yuk, dirty word. It then would be nice if both are willing to learn from each other.
 extrememale2004
Joined: 11/1/2005
Msg: 62
Is it necessary to have common interests?
Posted: 9/20/2007 11:23:40 PM
It is good to have some common interests. I find it easy to talk to a women who have some common interests as me but I also learn that each person will not have it all in common but have to learn to respect each other interests on the things they might not have in common.
 BobRuinedTheDate
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 64
Is it necessary to have common interests?
Posted: 9/21/2007 6:21:15 AM
Before I comment, what exactly is "dinning out" as one of the posters noted his interest to be? Is that like going out with pots and pans and big metal spoons and banging them like crazy?

Anyway, it is necessary to have common interests and no, adult humans are incapable of learning new interests. You should have EXACTLY THE SAME interests without a single variation or it will fail miserably.
 beadlady
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 65
Is it necessary to have common interests?
Posted: 9/21/2007 6:21:23 AM
You have to have things in common to start
with but it is the differences that keep the
excitement going. I know that
I would lose interest if someone were a carbon
copy of me.
 Paprikash!
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 66
Is it necessary to have common interests?
Posted: 9/21/2007 8:33:50 AM
There has to be enough general overlap to work with.
 brock11
Joined: 8/6/2007
Msg: 67
Is it necessary to have common interests?
Posted: 9/21/2007 8:41:23 AM
I think 2 people should have at least some common interests, but not necessary like all of the same things. Therefore both of them can learn from each other.For example, a man and a woman both like things A and B. The man likes things C and D. The woman likes things E and F.
 asianace10
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 68
Is it necessary to have common interests?
Posted: 9/21/2007 8:42:29 AM
I'm curently dating a man that is also a Capricorn as am I, that loves God, the Bible and also is a counselor for troubled young adults, two things that also interest me and that I admire.......... it definitely helps me to feel a stronger attachment for someone that has similar interests and goals, and I'm sure we will learn new things from each other as time goes on;
 Wolfie65
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 69
Is it necessary to have common interests?
Posted: 9/21/2007 8:49:36 AM
I gave up trying to find someone who's interested in the same things I'm interested in so long ago, it's not even true anymore.
As long as you find each other attractive and don't have an y really serious personality clashes and can more or less tolerate each others' interests, points of view, etc., it's all good.
All the rest is just decoration.
 extrememale2004
Joined: 11/1/2005
Msg: 70
Is it necessary to have common interests?
Posted: 9/21/2007 10:24:41 PM
One thing I thought about with having common interests with a person is each person is going to have things they like and a person has to be theirself and not be something they are like. I mean it all starts with respect with a person's interests. Like my job as a Direct Care Assistiant some dont understand how I got into that field teaching adults how to used their basic skills but I love what I do. Think about this God didn't created everyone to be the same so somethings it is good to have common interests on but other times you might not share all the same things in common with a person. Like my brother and his wife they have been married for 7 years and they have some common interests on somethings but not on everything and they get along well.
 elky1
Joined: 8/10/2006
Msg: 71
Is it necessary to have common interests?
Posted: 10/14/2007 11:21:06 PM
thats too funny.....hell, i woulda popped a cold one and watched it with ya....
 clay71
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 72
Is it necessary to have common interests?
Posted: 10/15/2007 12:29:51 AM
I think you should have common interests,and still keep the things you are already interested in or excell at. Just because your in a relationship,does'nt mean you have to sacrifice everything.I would'nt ask for someone to give up their goals and dreams,I would encourage them to keep pursuing them.And that would be returned to me as well,hopefully.
 Darkbutcomely
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 73
Is it necessary to have common interests?
Posted: 7/15/2011 9:34:42 AM
I have dated and married men whom I share no common interest with. AND look were I am. So learning from one's mistakes should be paramount to the growth of a human being. I need him to have at least 3 of my interests then we will work out the rest.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 74
Is it necessary to have common interests?
Posted: 7/15/2011 9:56:55 AM
Personally, I think having shared interests is irrelevant. I can become interested enough in anything if someone else is interested enough in it to make it interesting. All I cared about was that a woman be interested in something.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 75
Is it necessary to have common interests?
Posted: 7/15/2011 10:03:39 AM
I think it's great to share some of our MAIN interests. I love the water and spend a lot of time on, in, or near the water.
It would be nice to have a partner who enjoyed it as well. I also enjoy learning new things so if he had different interests to share that's good as well.
 north-coast
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 76
Is it necessary to have common interests?
Posted: 7/16/2011 8:56:33 AM
I think we should have at least some common interests. Otherwise we may not have much to talk about or do together. Having said that, I don't think 2 people must like exactly all of the same thing though. A couple can learn things from each other. I also think each person should have a social life outside of their partner.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 77
Is it necessary to have common interests?
Posted: 7/16/2011 10:22:07 AM
If both are open-minded and generally like to try new things, then no.

At my age people tend to get a bit set in their ways and they need to find someone that shares their lifestyle perfectly.

That's what makes relationships almost impossible for so many.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 78
Is it necessary to have common interests?
Posted: 7/16/2011 10:27:05 AM

Is it necessary to have common interests?

Opposites may attract, but commonalities survive. (OK ~ so I'm SO not a Dr. Phil fan, but this has been proven many times in my own personal life, so I quote it once in a while.) Common interests are vital. So are differences. At least for me. I need a LOT of common interests and a vast number of new thoughts/ideas/hobbies, etc., if considering a relationship with someone. I learn from my SO everyday, and he learns new things from me, also. We'd not be a good fit if we weren't very similar, but a little different. To each their own ~
 Naadirah
Joined: 6/3/2011
Msg: 79
Is it necessary to have common interests?
Posted: 8/3/2011 8:39:05 AM
I do not think that common interests or hobbies are important, although I see this stated on many of the male profiles I read. I'm looking for a romantic partner, not an activity partner. I would like any future significant other to have friends and interests outside of the relationship so that we both have the necessary 'me" time.

I'm at a loss, I'm contacted by many outdoorsy or sport types that say similar interests are a must. If I reply, sorry I do not share your hobbies or interests. I'm countered with that's okay, but you should be willing to try it. The funny thing is that I have tried most of what they list (mother of 4 boys), and I know that I hate camping. That I love the outdoors, but it doesn't love me back.

Should I make willing to try belly dancing a requirement?
 cheryl1229
Joined: 6/13/2011
Msg: 80
view profile
History
Is it necessary to have common interests?
Posted: 8/3/2011 1:32:09 PM
That depends on the relationship you are looking for.

If you are looking for a long-term, committed, possibly leading to marriage type of relationship, a few common interests are fairly important. If you are looking for just dating, hanging out, fwb, just sex, etc. then common interests are not so important.

Mostly, they are there to help you rule out who you know you won't like. For instance, the outdoorsy, athletic, run-a-marathon-every-day-before-breakfast type isn't going to be attracted to your garden variety couch potato, so skip that profile and move on.
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