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 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 306
what's so bad about spanking your kid?Page 14 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
I just hope one day that child spanks you back. Real hard. So you learn to do as you're told and not argue.

Saw an interesting special a few years back. About elder abuse. Guess who abuses their parents? Kids of parents who abused them. . . .

Karma. . . .
 robin-hood
Joined: 12/2/2008
Msg: 308
view profile
History
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/28/2011 10:48:17 PM
OK lets define what I mean by spanking.

Its a method mostly used when a child is younger say less than 12, and by no means a daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly event. It should not be out of anger, or excessive, and used only when reasoning or other punitive methods fail. In fact probably over the range of 1 to 12, in a stable family maybe occur 6 to 8 times. A spanking is across the rump with an open hand usually. For a young child a slap on the back of a hand brings up a big pout and tears welling up, from hurt feelings. But the term NO! helps keep them safe.

I'm pushing 64 now, and during that time I've seen more mothers backhand their children than fathers. I don't mean love taps either. I think mothers tend to strike their children more often, but fathers when they do corporal punishment its more severely. And many mothers favorite words, "Just wait till your father gets home." Let dad be the bad guy.

As for my life, my father probably gave me some really good cracks across the a** with a oak board about 2"x 1/2" thick and 30" long. He didn't do it often, and truthfully I think once or twice when I didn't deserve it. I would never ever think of hurting my father and physically was capable at 16. He never drank, was mostly home, and I was never hungry or without the basic needs of a child. Other things were lacking between us, but life's not perfect. Sometimes I wish he was still around for some friendly advice.
 JustDukky
Joined: 7/8/2004
Msg: 309
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/29/2011 9:43:43 PM
The primary reason to not lord it over your kid, either with spanking or any other form of coercion is because you want them to grow up to be their own highest authority and self governing. Authoritarian parents create authoritarian kids who look for their position in a pecking order. They meekly accept forces of intimidation as having authority over them and given the chance, will usually look for someone they can have authority over in their own right.

So much for the idea of equality under the law...It just perpetuates a society that believes that people are incapable of self-governance.
 Lolita_LeBron
Joined: 1/12/2011
Msg: 310
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/29/2011 10:07:20 PM
Spanking your kids does not work. It proves nothing and it doesn't change anything. Why do you think kids do what will get them spanked over and over and over again?
 SteelCity1981
Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 312
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History
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/29/2011 11:53:20 PM
i don't see anything wrong if it's a last option after non-spanking punishments have failed.

 iluvfunstuff
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 317
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/30/2011 7:35:47 PM
the bad thing about spanking is the liberal ****es at school see the red marks and wanna call CPS.

spanking isn't working with my son, so he rarely gets him, but I threaten to cut a switch and he straightens up. He hasn't forgotten.
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 319
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/31/2011 7:45:21 AM

the bad thing about spanking is the liberal ****es at school see the red marks and wanna call CPS.



If a child has red marks on them from being hit, i would damn well hope the liberals at the school would call CPS & get an investigation going on. I would call myself if i saw a child with marks on them from spanking.
 MuscleMermaid
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 320
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/31/2011 7:59:52 AM
Nothing. If more people did it maybe some children would behave more. It is simply disgusting when out, seeing people's children act like pigs and all the parents do is sit & watch it ! I do not think beating a child is necessary but I have no problem with a smack on the azz to get their attention. Then again if some parents had control over certain behavior, maybe they would not need to spank.

I can remember as a child, if we had to be asked twice to do something....we just * knew * it better get done. My parents did not need to spank or beat any of us. The rules were made and enforced before it even got to that level MOST of the time.

We did get * spanked * a few times, but very few. It did not ruin us, as a matter of fact, we learned rather fast what NOT to do....LOL

 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 322
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/31/2011 1:31:10 PM
I cannot state honestly that I never smacked my sons bottom.

I can only count a few times it was needed however.

If after exhausting all avenues, he still rebelled and his safety or someone else's safety was at risk, darned rights...he got a swat on the bum.

If only used as a last resort and with control... (IE dont do this if you are very angry, you will cause more pain than you intend to when you raise an angry hand to a little body)...it can be effective.

My son was never afraid of me and I have asked him a few times how he felt about being spanked. He has said he knows he was asking for it and in my shoes he likely would have done the same thing.

I think parents who solely rely on physical punishment will find one day thier child will raise a hand to them...I know if someone hit me regulalry, one day Id hit them back. It is our job to teach them how to cope and they need to be taught how to cope without raising thier hands.

But there are times when all the logic and reason just wont work and they need to be snapped out of whatever mode they are in...and a good bum swat will do just that. My son got a bum swat while wearing ski pants once. He will tell you, it didnt hurt at all...but he got the point-I was serious about not taking off from my sight! And he stopped running away in crowds after I swatted his azz in public.. It showed him that I will NOT be embarrased into letting him 'get away' with not following a clear and direct request just because people are looking. All the talks about it, time outs etc...did not work. And Id rather he have a sore azz and be safe with me than able to run off at the Santa parade (which attracted over a hundred thousand people) and never see him again.

Im sorry though, seeing in here that a 16 year old was struck with a belt? That is assault. I dont care what career the parents held...it was an assault. For the family to also turn thier backs on that child is pretty sickening. I know if I was struck with a belt, Id be calling the police too...Im sure most adults would so why is it a crime for the 16 year old to do that? Im sure the poster who posted that would not want his own mother hit with a belt, so why is it OK for his neice to be hit with a belt?

A spank is supposed to be openhanded, and one time across the bum. That is all. No weapons used, even a belt. I do think using a belt crosses the line into an assault. I look at it this way...if you hit an adult stranger with a belt, the cops would be called...our kids deserve no less. If a stranger came up and hit me open handed across the azz...Id be weirded out, but I would not categorize it as police worthy....if someone struck me with a belt you can bet Id call the cops.
 robin-hood
Joined: 12/2/2008
Msg: 324
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History
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/31/2011 4:05:10 PM
Ruby

Your post #295 on this topic was very good as methods go.

If your child's teacher or the school system is on board, it pays to work with them. I'm not totally an enforcer with homework, more so want to see what my child is studying at school at least twice during the week. Their homework keeps me in touch, and checking it or talking with them about it makes their interest higher, so long as I don't overdo it.

As regards Vipers 16 yr old niece.
I wasn't there and things may not have been that simple. The niece could have been more out of hand than a foul mouth. What ever it was, it wasn't child abuse. She realized that it was her actions that caused the results. Her own actions caused her grief in the end, as she had to find another place to live.

Given my age now, under the same circumstance, I would have ask her to leave my home and come back later. When she returned I would give her the option to apologize in writing outlining the circumstances. I would also permit a PS as to why she reacted as she did. In addition a hand written set of rules would be addressed. If that was not acceptable to her then she would have a week to find a new place to live. I would help her, and if she failed to within a week then I would deliver her to juvenile authorities and or let them know she is now homeless.

I came from a coal mining town in SW Pennsylvania, and middle school was 7th through 9th grade. Cracks in the hallway was not unusual and occurred with two teachers present. The paddle were a nice size board, and one teacher drilled holes through to cut down air resistance. I can remember each teachers name. A male teacher gave the cracks to boys and female teachers for the girls. Yes some girls were cracked. Number of cracks depended on the offense, but usually two (2) was the minimum and five(5) max. No one wanted to have Buzz (our gym teacher) be called out. His cracks really burned.

So I ask, was the whole school system wrong ? I had many friends that signed those boards and lived to tell about it, and I can't think of one that became a wife beater or child abuser. I don't believe spanking should be the primary source of discipline, but it does work more often than not, when used properly.

My last post in this thread.
 JustDukky
Joined: 7/8/2004
Msg: 326
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 11/3/2011 2:30:32 PM
Reading over some of the posts on this thread I'm dismayed and frankly disgusted at the general level of ignorance of most people. I'm not being hard on anyone; I was an authoritarian parent myself until I finally learned better (too late to do my kids much good).

The thing almost everyone is doing wrong is asserting authority over kids, whether it involves spanking, threats, intimidation (yelling) or what-have you, it is simply wrong. No wonder the world is turning into a fascist police state! Most of you are raising your kids to think its normal.

Maybe you should all watch this interview by Stefan Molyneux:

http://littlealexinwonderland.wordpress.com/2009/10/20/the-case-against-spanking/
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 327
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 11/3/2011 3:06:15 PM

A sharp smack on the back of the legs gave the instant message, I'm the adult, you're the kid, and I mean business!


You seriously were unable to convey to your child that you were an adult without hitting them? And you criticize the parenting skills of the anti-hitting parents? Yeah, ok.


I think the bloody pc bleeding-hearts brigade have a hell of a lot to answer for! IT IS NOT ACTUALLY AGAINST THE LAW TO SMACK YOUR CHILD, we all assume it is, so we all cower down. Absolutely ridiculous!

What do we have to answer for? That we can effectively parent without putting our hands on our kids? I dont care if it legal or not. I dont care if society condoned it. My children would never deserve to be hit. I think it is absolutely ridiculous to have kids so out of control that you see no other way to cope with them besides to hit them. Something wrong with both the parent & the child there.


I have the intelligence to provide my kid with a home, clothes and food, for god's sake credit me with the intelligence to know the difference between a smack and knocking someone down the stairs!!

I provide all that & much more, & am intelligent enough not to allow my children get so bad that i see no other way than to hit them, & they have no doubt whatsoever that i am the boss. Even without hitting, mine respect me greatly & listen to me, & are wonderfuly behaved lovely children. Doing your basic duty as a parent in providing the bare basics does not mean one should hit a child.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 328
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 11/3/2011 3:46:18 PM
Just thank God you never came from a military family..


What’s that supposed to mean? Enlighten me, from my military family background.

I am very familiar with men who think they can intimidate others, even family members, and are entitled to do so…let me guess, in the name of demanding “respect”. It is really, really obvious, and really, really pathetic.

I noticed you trashed femaleconnection’s post (327) by deliberately misinterpreting what she posted; you made an imaginary non-issue into your entire post point.

A slam dunk, to those less able to identify it.

Abandoning parental responsibility and foisting it on others is reprehensible; assault is assault, no matter how it’s rationalized. An absolutely disgusting story.


the bad thing about spanking is the liberal ****es at school see the red marks and wanna call CPS.


Yep, getting in trouble and being held responsible for your actions is the bad thing about spanking.

Not sure about other states, but in New York mandated reporters can lose their jobs and be criminally charged if they DON’T report suspected child abuse. The list of mandated reporters goes far, far beyond "liberals" at schools. It includes all medical professionals, law enforcement, day care workers, etc.

http://ocfs.ny.gov/main/cps/faqs_mandatedreporter.asp

http://www.nyc.gov/html/acs/html/child_safety/mandated_reporters.shtml


vvvvv Nope, I didn't HAVE to do anything. I wanted to respond.

A more effective philosophy is to keep poisonous PEOPLE out of your life.
 JustDukky
Joined: 7/8/2004
Msg: 330
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 11/3/2011 4:08:14 PM


The thing almost everyone is doing wrong is asserting authority over kids, whether it involves spanking, threats, intimidation (yelling) or what-have you, it is simply wrong. No wonder the world is turning into a fascist police state! Most of you are raising your kids to think its normal.

People that let their kids run wild, forfeit their whining rights about having to visit them on death row.
Just sayin'..

Don't fall for the false dichotomy that a lack of coercion means a lack of parenting. Loving guidance works wonders with kids.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 331
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 11/3/2011 4:35:29 PM
I’ve obviously given you too much credit. Your pride just won’t let you re-read post 327 correctly. The poster does NOT contradict herself, no matter how many times you claim it. You’re skirting around her real issue. Why? Why are you insisting she’s somehow duplicitous, when she clearly is not? Hmmm.

Your niece, at sixteen years old, was a child. THAT is the point, you yourself provided.
You choose to imagine post 327 refers to your niece as an adult, so her point is negated, and you win. ~sigh~

Dancing around may distract those less observant. I’ve seen it before; I’m not impressed.

However, I am through with this, and you.
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 332
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 11/3/2011 4:48:46 PM
Not hitting children does not = kids running wild..

I cant remember the last time one of my kids "ran wild". I was complimenting them earlier today on how wonderful & lovely they are & how good they have been behaving & how happy i am with their good behavior & hard work at school.

And i dont hit them.

Imagine that, lol.
 swingarm1966
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 334
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 11/3/2011 7:19:29 PM
Man beats daughter for using the internet
The man has been identified as Judge William Adams from Texas . He presides over CHILD ABUSE CASES!!!! It is quite extreme punishment. He should get the same along with a fine and jail time and removal from the JUST-US system.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wl9y3SIPt7o
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 335
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 6/10/2012 5:12:32 PM
But spanking, did NOTHING to my self esteem. - Halokitty


Unfortunately, Halokitty, we have entered the era of the godless United Nations, the anti-family organization who are hell-bent on destroying society as we know it.

Here in New Zealand, one of the most politically correct, controlled and regulated societies on earth, parents no longer have any control or say in their children's lives. This is now handed over to the State, to Big Brother and his multi-tentacled, multi-faceted organizations. We have the Children's Commissioner, but no Parents' Commission. We have Human Rights, but no rights. We have 'equality,' but I don't see a shred of evidence to support the notion.

I saw on the television news recently about a family who tried to discipline their 14-year-old daughter, without success. She was having a full-blooded affair with two married men. The school counsellor assured the daughter that her parents "would never find out" and that it would be "our little secret." One day, however, the smelly stuff hit the fan, and how. There was a major documentary about the issue on TV a few days ago. I was aghast at what I heard and saw. The girl did everything she could to have sex with these two married men, including running away from her parents' home. She then tried to 'divorce' her parents, so she took them to court. The parents had to fork out a fortune in legal fees. The bottom line? It ruined the parents, not only financially, but emotionally. It drained them to the point where they could hardly speak. The court, you see - the Family Judge - decided that the parents had no rights at all over their daughter, and that the school counsellor, after learning about the girl's affair with two married men, said "you should be lucky the girl's being loved," was correct with her interpretation.

End result? The girl left home and has had relationships with several men. The parents are left bewildered and broken.

Bring on the United Nations. We need more situations like this if we are going to have a One World Government. As G Brock Chisholm, psychiatrist and co-founder of The World Federation of Mental Health (under the aegis and umbrella of the UN) said: "To achieve world government, it will be necessary to remove from people's minds their individualism, loyalty to family traditions, patriotism and religion." They are forging ahead with this agenda, working day by day, chipping away at the nuclear family, at the very core of humanity's values and traditions. Expect to see more of this, and expect society to become so traumatized as to be psychologically neutered.

Before I go, a couple of statistics from Down Under, where I have lived for the last 20 years. I heard these facts on National Radio a few days ago. I was stunned by what I was hearing.

One in four Australian children has a mental illness, and self-harming amongst Australian children has risen by 91 per cent in the last five years.

The psychiatrists, counsellors, advisors, therapists, gurus and what have you are having an absolute field day.

Blessings to everyone on PoF.

Peter.
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