Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Any other women out there in love with a married man???      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Any other women out there in love with a married man???Page 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
IMHO Intelligent parents don't stay together for children. Children come to understand things much quicker than some apparently imagine.
Any other women out there in love with a married man???
Posted: 7/13/2007 8:15:58 PM
hey, i am in the same boat, really likes a married man also...i know he is married and i am divorced and i have nothing to loose, except our friendship...I am not sure what
to do also...we met and the chemistry was awesome...we haven;t slept together
as i am not sure thats what i want...we have been friends for over a year now...
we talk almost everynite...not sure what will happen, guess i should ask him...
his kids are all grown up and of course he is unhappy within his marriage...
he isn't gettin anything from me except our friendship...does that count for something??
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 23
Any other women out there in love with a married man???
Posted: 10/12/2008 3:40:22 PM
While I understand your anger, and I agree that we need to be more vigilant in raising women who have ethics and principals I think you're a wee bit misdirected in your vehemence.


then these married men would be forced to deal with their wives


I have yet to find any positive aspects in thinking that we can "force" any one to do any thing they do not wish to do.

Is it the right, proper, and mannerly thing?
Sure you bet.
Should the guy be a total doink and lose his happiness?
Perhaps.

It does take two to build a life and two to destroy a marriage.
I've seen many men driven to insanity and irrational behavior by a shrewish biotch of a wife.

True, if the man was a man he'd pack his stuff and leave her vicious azz. but sometimes when there are children, leaving them in the hands of Attila the Hun is not something an admireable father can or will do.

And not many states are very fair about granting father's custody just because the wife is a hormonal, irritating, shrewish hag.

Sad but true.

While I'm sure what happened to you is painful still, clearly - your emotions are intense and passionate, it is not fair nor just to attack someone else because of what's been done to you.

Each situation is different, complex, and complicated and all people are humans.
None of less value than another.
Simply different.
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 24
Any other women out there in love with a married man???
Posted: 10/12/2008 3:47:37 PM
there you go! You're a beautiful lady and that's clear....and yes!!!!! We women need to be holding ourselves with more - oh gawd old fashioned word....decorum and calling each other out for skanky whore-ish behaviors - true!!!

But....I knew you didn't really want to bash on this person here.

She's not your target.
Let's beat up society as a whole for creating the idea that it's entirely ok to do what feels go and fukk everything and everyone else, shall we?

Easier to be far more angry against a mob, instead of each other.
 TxSippiGal
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 25
view profile
History
Any other women out there in love with a married man???
Posted: 10/12/2008 4:59:29 PM
Most of my relationships except for my husband have been with divorced men with children.. .

Let me assure you.. all of these men loved their children and would not hesitate to give their lives for them.. but they divorced the wife or the wife divorced them for what ever reason.

Your lover is staying for reasons besides the children. Yes it might be a lustless marriage but there is something there or he would not be staying.. trust me on this.

People don't stay in "lustless" marriages for the sake of the children.. because if they are not benefiting from the marriage in some way.. they won't stay.

So you are the way that he gets the sex and excitement he wants.. but he still keeps the family intact.. This man knows exactly what he is doing..

BTW rent Waiting to Exhale.. you'll see a good example of this in that movie.

I hope you will take care of yourself and end this .. before it destroys your life.

And speaking of being accountable here is a story a true one.. I have a good friend whose husband was having an affair they had not been married long and he was trying to get money out of her.. so she filed an alienation of affection lawsuit against the other woman... stopped him cold.. he capitulated on all points of the divorce and ended up agreeing to pay her instead. So you had best be careful you could get sued.. and don't think a woman with children at home wouldn't do it.. I am hearing of it more and more. When you mess in someone else's marriage that is serious business.. and while you say it isn't black and white.. you might think different if you have to end up going to court.. or the guy dumps you when the wife threatens legal action against you. Honey, you are in a no win situation.

Oh, have a young friend who got involved with a divorced male.. come to find out he was doing her and 2 other married women.. How did he find the time????

So he could be two timing you already with someone else.
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 26
Any other women out there in love with a married man???
Posted: 10/12/2008 5:12:56 PM
If a man is a dog, he's a dog.
Whether married, single, seperated, exclusive etc.,

Same is true of a woman.
If she's a skank, a cheater, a malicious, conniving lying biotch - she's that way whether dating, engaged, married, seperated etc.,

If we - as a body of people - were doing far more about being positive and good, and upright ethically, and if we had less tolerence of folks who do behave badly...

well, then....maybe we wouldn't all be complaining of being victims.

But then you note also - victims?

I'm NOT a victim.
And never have been.

so......why choose to be one?
Willingly?

Be smarter than others.
In all your choices.
Be kinder in all you do.
Live a more moral life and maybe you attract that to you?
Or maybe it spreads? Like poison ivy?
Who knows - but it's better than whining and bashing folks, isn't it?
 Grumpy Barbie
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 27
Any other women out there in love with a married man???
Posted: 10/13/2008 12:37:39 AM
Well if you enjoy spending all the holidays alone and never being #1. Stick it out.
You are better than that. Anywhoooooo, Been there done that, many moons ago, and no good comes of it. If he keeps it up, buddy may not have a say in the matter. Let chickie poo poo wife find out and he may have his girls, every second weekend!!

Then again, if that happened he could be with you forever and ever and ever, until the next girl came along............
 BLUEMISS
Joined: 7/15/2007
Msg: 28
view profile
History
Any other women out there in love with a married man???
Posted: 10/13/2008 5:24:57 AM
I'm sorry, but I'll bet if he was your man and cheating on you, you'd be crying your eyes out about that. Have you ever heard of karma? It is women like you and men like him that give the rest of us a bad name.Personally, I don't know how you think you can believe a word he says.
 TxSippiGal
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 29
view profile
History
Any other women out there in love with a married man???
Posted: 10/13/2008 3:48:36 PM
I was thinking about this thread today on my way home from work.. and realized some thing..

The worst thing you could get out of this is for him to leave his wife over you... you don't want that.. You want him to leave his marriage because he would rather be alone out of that marriage than in it.. with or without you. This is why I think it is important for you to go on your merry way.. and forget this guy. Because if you want him to leave his wife for you.. you are on thin ice in my view.

He doesn't neeed to get out of his marriage for another marriage he needs to get out of it because he is no longer happy in it... which in my view.. locks you out anyway.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 30
view profile
History
Any other women out there in love with a married man???
Posted: 10/15/2008 3:12:36 PM
For the life of me I will never understand man or woman that will do this. It is a no win situation full of lies and drama. No one will ever understand why you did it and no one will ever condone your actions. Plus if he will lie to his wife don't you think he is not above lying to you????
 Unikshik
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 31
view profile
History
Any other women out there in love with a married man???
Posted: 10/15/2008 5:30:55 PM
Wow!!! You are 58 years old??? I am surprised that you would be asking a question like that!!!... Have you not learned anything yet about the rules of life???...about what is right and what is wrong???

Rule #1... If you are single STAY AWAY and do not get involved with someone who is married.

Rule #2...If you are married. Don't get involved with anyone outside the marriage...

As simple as that!!!... He will never leave his wife for you. You are wasting precious time and at your age you shouldn't be wasting anything!!!.
 mayjar
Joined: 2/28/2008
Msg: 32
view profile
History
Any other women out there in love with a married man???
Posted: 10/15/2008 8:46:35 PM
Would you call your feeling love or lust???The books say you are in this kind of relationship out of protecting yourself this man will not be woth you on HOILDAYS on your birthday or any other time you may need him, with the exception of a times he wants to be there, does he spend the night, I would say probably not, because he has to girls that is BS and you know it, his wife has to know about you or she wears rose colored glasses, that behavior would affect his children way more than the truth it is a nice way to say, I want you and I have her, but I am going to stay with her, WHYif I could answer that question I would be a milliuonaire,How can he be in love with you???and have a wife to, where are his feelings at,You are the one that will get hurt and that kind of hurt does not go away easy,think more of yourself and move on to the single scene when you are ready for a real relationship, Good luck you"ll need it
 eantonio
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 33
Any other women out there in love with a married man???
Posted: 10/17/2008 3:23:59 PM
the questiion is not weather or not you should let him go and move on, becasue we all, as well as you do, know the answer to that. The real question, that no one can answer but you, is what are you getting out of this relationship? This relationship is working for you in some confusing way. The reason I say that is because if it wasn't you would not be there. It may be the thrill, it may be the drama, it may be the attention and drama. I don't know...only you do. I beleive people do the best they can with what they know and what they have and when a better way of doing things is learned, people will employ the new way. You know this is a bad relationship...and if you don't perhaps you should re-read the tons of responses that tell you so. So again, you ignore what EVERYONE is telling you because it is working for you. It is also as if you are in search of that ONE person who is going to support you on your decision so then you feel validated to do what you do.

There was a guy I use to counsel who told me he found the best way to lose weight however no one would agree with his method. He was smoking crack. He was trying to make losing weight as this big positive for such a negative behavior. When infact he was looking for an excuse to continue to smoke crack because he knew it was wrong. I think you are in the same boat...using the kids as a excuse to justify this very uni-lateral and unhealthy relationship.

Lastly, if his children are his life, then why is he teaching ( through his behavior) them that the institution of matrimony is not sacred anymore, rather that it is vow with no meaning and adultry is ok. Just my opinion. Good Luck!
 rosyrosyrosy
Joined: 7/8/2007
Msg: 34
Any other women out there in love with a married man???
Posted: 11/1/2008 11:16:59 PM
Perhaps have some empathy for his wife and children, how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot?

Not a great feeling is it...
 Nahsun
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 36
view profile
History
Any other women out there in love with a married man???
Posted: 1/12/2010 8:06:47 AM
Never say never
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 37
view profile
History
Any other women out there in love with a married man???
Posted: 1/12/2010 12:38:44 PM
Am I the only one that looks at the dates of when these were originally posted? And why oh why did Nahsun bring this up when the last post was 2 years ago to only say "Never say Never"?
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 38
Any other women out there in love with a married man???
Posted: 1/12/2010 10:48:25 PM
I think you're looking for a support group for mistresses, In a dating site where single women are searching for single available men with integrity I don't think you will find the compassion or commiseration that you seek.
Sure I've been there and done that in my 20s when I was young and stupid. An attractive 60 year old woman falling for that is just sad.
Be prepared to always take a back seat and many lonely nights. Just think of it this way - if he cared so much about his kids he would not make a fool of their mother.
You may devastate an entire family's life. People end up on the 6pm news for betrayals like this. They end up shot or stabbed. Is that the kind of drama you would welcome in your life? I'm not judging you but I am sure there are people around you in your life, that if they knew or found, out would ostracize you. This is a lose lose lose situation.
Do you enjoy having one side of your bed every night cold and empty while you cry yourself to sleep wishing he was there instead of with his wife? Do you enjoy spending holidays alone? Without him? Are you prepared to spend Valentine's Day without him, knowing he is out with his wife enjoying himself?
One of the benefits of getting older is wisdom and making better choices for your life - you are regressing instead.
 AnarchoCapitalist
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 39
Any other women out there in love with a married man???
Posted: 1/12/2010 11:02:46 PM
Nothing to be confused about. Stay away from married men unless you're his wife. It's really that simple. Doesn't matter what he says, stay away from married men.

As for the men, same advice. Stay away from married women.

Trust me on this one. The future if you don't is painful for all parties involved.
 CookieLady66
Joined: 11/7/2008
Msg: 41
Any other women out there in love with a married man???
Posted: 1/13/2010 8:55:41 AM

I'm in a relationship with a married man


That just makes you stupid. Any bad things that come out of this are all your fault & you have no right to complain.

I hope his wife kicks your a$$.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 43
Any other women out there in love with a married man???
Posted: 6/28/2010 4:54:02 AM

I am 23 and I have been dating a married guy for the last four years.

ROFL! Is that what you call sneaking around behind his wife's back and meeting on the sly, having sex in cars and communicating mostly via text and email? "DATING?" Alrighty, then.

He did tell me that he was married on our 1st date.

Why, that just makes him a prince, doesn't it? He did the whole mating dance/getting your telephone number thing, asking you out, and DURING your first date he was "honest" enough to admit he's a lying scam artist. Golly, I can see why you held onto THIS prize.

..he is in the Army he had to go to Vegas. She went with him, of course. He left back in August of this year and I still haven't heard from him since he has moved. It has been 2 months.

Surely you jest! The love of your life took the woman he can't stand - his wife - to Vegas with him and hasn't contacted you in two whole months? I'd be willing to bet it's because that horrible, unloving ogre of a wife has CHAINED him to the basement floor so he can't leave her. Yeah, that's the ticket! I suggest you fly out to Vegas ASAP and rescue him from her evil clutches, get him a quickie divorce, and then you two can go to one of the many wedding chapels out there, get married, and begin your "happily ever after." Hurry! There's no time to waste!

He has the papers she just won't sign them. I know he loves me there is not a doubt in my mind about that.

Did he take those divorce papers - which his wife "refuses to sign" - WITH him to Vegas? Golly, maybe he can get her real drunk one night and have her sign them so you two can begin your new life of wedded bliss that he's so anxious to start.

But him moving away and not calling me for 2 months I have no idea what to do?

You can probably start by no longer eating a big bowl of stupid for breakfast every morning.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 44
view profile
History
Any other women out there in love with a married man???
Posted: 6/30/2010 8:18:58 AM
So OP you are a mistress of a married man, a little better than a prostitute and a sl ut. Well ,you can have your cake and eat too. I've observed a lot of women who fall for a married man , they are the loneliest/pitiful people in the world.

And if the wife finds out about her ,she'd be beaten and insulted,what I don't understand She has nothing to do with her but her husband who disrespect her.

Sorry to burst you bubble, that he loves you and he will never leave his wife(he loves his wife more than you,otherwise he divorce her ,to be with you ) because of his 2 daughter that is baloney,he was just sucking you youthfulness and your best years and you got nothing in return but self disrespect and sadness.. Why waste your time with a married man that won't enhance your life ?

There are many single men around why settle for a married man that your time with him is stolen and discreet???????? And you have no future with him.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 45
view profile
History
Any other women out there in love with a married man???
Posted: 6/30/2010 9:02:08 AM

Can any of you people read?? All I see is bashing here.I'm just looking to share experiences with other women in my situation....


In (younger days) my journey of this life ,I was tricked by a man that he was single in fact he was married and I will not share happily that experienced with any one or here in the forum of strangers..Some men who admit they are married but they are not having sex with their wife etc,ect... And their lure is money, I never fall for that or them because I have self respect that I don't do things that I will be ashame of and in denial.. Life is too short to waste my life of bad experience..

OP,sorry that there are not very much women here that are clone to you that are home breaker. Really you invoke disgust feeling from me and I feel sympathy for the wife of your married boyfriend.
All the people here in this forum can read, they can not only read they can understand what you are getting and where you are going...

 Tim_in_NPR
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 46
view profile
History
Any other women out there in love with a married man???
Posted: 6/30/2010 9:52:04 AM
Tuxgrl

Heard the song "God bless the broken road"? The best is yet to come!
 kojaks488
Joined: 4/14/2009
Msg: 47
Any other women out there in love with a married man???
Posted: 7/3/2010 5:11:27 AM
I once started dating a woman who claimed to be 'in a relationship' at first. It soon became clear (before we hooked up) that this man was married. Anyway, with the help of some alcohol I took her to bed and was with her for the next two years. I saw first hand how he manipulated her.

She was the same as many others. She believed all the lies: he'd leave his wife, they could be together, they could have children, etc. Shortly after we started sleeping together she broke it off with him and we began our relationship. Now, in hindsight, she admits it was all fake. That it was mere lies. He never loved her. He loved having sex with a 20-year-old.

Ladies, that's the truth of it. That's what the married men like. You're oblivious to it until you get some self-respect. All married guys do is manipulate your mind and emotions because we all know that sex with a woman starts with her brain. A simple 'I Love You' will make you blind to the brightest of signs. And it's very easy for married men to say; they've been practising it for years.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 48
view profile
History
Any other women out there in love with a married man???
Posted: 7/3/2010 8:22:09 AM
tuxgirl: good for you that you broke up with your married boyfriend, oh really she is completely loon,?? perhaps your ex BF her husband has a lot of contribution to that.

No man in their right mind will stay with a "crazy woman".. and you know that,she should be confine to a Mental Institution.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Any other women out there in love with a married man???