Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  >      Home login  
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 56
Would you date someone with Herpes?Page 2 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
If people are afraid of dating a person with herpes... then they better just stop dating!!!! Some people have it don't even know it!!!
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 57
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 5/14/2006 12:57:46 PM
maybe I am wrong but i believe that transmission can occur only through outbreaks and that the virus stays dormant in the spine so possibly sex can be engaged.....someone who worked at an std clinic told me so but I can't verify that info
 Tupelo honey2
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 58
view profile
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 5/14/2006 3:53:14 PM
Herpes is a life long disease which may lay dorman for years and years without an outbreak!!!

Herpes can be passed on if the person who has it is shedding the virus. It can happen even if there are no lesions present, altho less likely. AND a person can develop herpes even without getting an acute outbreak...may have his first acute outbreak a few months or years later.

the bottom line is that "one out of 4 people have herpes "so even tho this girl outwardly admitted she had herpes.....she is being honest what about the other 3 women you have dated recently????....So now who would you date???

Herpes does not cause any dangerous life threatening diseases like most is a horrible inconvenience that NO ONE wants to have but MANY DO!!!!(even tho they don't know it)
Joined: 9/13/2005
Msg: 61
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 5/14/2006 10:22:44 PM
OT: approximately 30% of American adult population have Herpes. So if you have had more than 3-5 sexual partners, mostlikely you have already slept with someone with Herps.
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 62
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 5/15/2006 9:06:53 AM

Google the term "asymptomatic shedding." Please make sure you know what you're talking about, next time.

I am not so arrogant to believe that I know everything Molonel. This is an interesting read:
It mentions that asymptomatic shedding occurs unbenownst to the infected, and perhaps often enough to be a concern to someone having sex with an infected individual. However, after a year or two from initially being infected, the frequency rate of asymptomatic shedding is significantly lower than that of someone less than a year removed from initial infection.

I still say lots of people are playing Russian roulette when having sex with someone who says they don't have herpes. Especially if you have doubts about that person being a non-player.

No doubt it is initally a turn-off if your potential love partner tells you he/she has herpes. It's not a death sentence however. Personally I wouldn't discount a woman who I cared about as a dating partner if she told me openly she had herpes, when she first had it, and then showed me her meds that control it, then showed me taking those meds.
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 64
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 5/15/2006 2:34:14 PM

i met a gorgeous woman and went on a date and had a great time she was everything i looked for in a woman

If all this you said is true, then this shouldn't matter.
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 65
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 7/8/2006 7:27:00 PM
As per topic.. if they knew they had it ... nope. Nor AIDS or HIV or anything else.

They may become a friend but thats about it... And "done" condemn us all you want, but its our choice hun.

Now if they didnt know and I got it well everyone makes mistakes, some you dont know you are making until after the fact. But the result is the same, LIVE WITH IT
Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 70
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 8/27/2006 9:21:50 AM
Just say [ NO ]

too risky, unless your ready to commit to that one person for rest of your life

your lucky she told you before being intimate
 Dope a mean
Joined: 8/23/2006
Msg: 72
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 8/27/2006 10:46:32 AM
Hmm. She give a good hand job?
Joined: 8/1/2006
Msg: 75
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 9/14/2006 12:50:59 PM
Yep....all of that & more! Check the stats & if you still feel like telling yourself that it couldn't happen to you, well that's your choice. 75% of US pop was exposed as child to Type 1 (oral) even if they rarely get cold sores they may pass it on during oral sex & you may end up w/ Type 2 (genital)!

Some people will even PASS the test & still be carriers.... a strong immune system can make the virus almost indetectable, unless tested repeatedly over a period of months.

I HAVE dated someone w/ HSV2 for 3+ years!...not only did I test negative repeatedly after our break-up due to her dilligence & excellent communication, but it was some of the best sex of my life because the trust level was so high. She is one of the best people, not to mention sexiest women I've ever met!

Props to the folks w/ enough integrity to step out in the open & deal w/ this issue!

The rest of you folks should probably just NEVER have unprotected oral sex again w/ anybody....even a monogamous partner of YEARS duration. Just to be safe.
Joined: 7/28/2006
Msg: 76
view profile
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 9/14/2006 3:25:03 PM
If she is everything that you've been looking for before she told you...go for it!! There are ways around contracting it yourself. Get the facts!! AND be glad that she was up front and told you about it...She must have trusted you enough to tell you!!
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 77
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 5/15/2007 12:42:58 PM
im going to be straight up honest with yall. I just found out that have herpes, I cry all the time about it cause it is devastating blow to me and my lifestyle. I feel over half the time who is going to want me now. I have herpes, I got it from I loved and I am afraid of giving to someone else. Its not easy dealing with the fact that I am going to have this the rest of my life and I have no control over it. I have started educating myself on it and talking to people who do have it. I do hope each and everyday that god will bring that special someone in my life that will except it and be with me. Have a family with me, which ever way that may be- either naturally or adoption. hell there are so many children out there that their parents threw them out like trash when they were just a baby that need homes, yeah some of them have problems but who dont. to many people in this world are only out for themselves. and so damn judgemental about other mishaps, deformities and etc. which our people in our country would grow up and act human.
Joined: 7/25/2004
Msg: 79
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 5/16/2007 4:04:52 PM
Hmm this may be too off the wall for most of the people here. However has anyone ready the book "Heal Your Life" by Louise Hayes. Most physical ailments are from a psychological disorder. If you look up Herpes, it is from severe sexual guilt. Maybe the friends hubby didnt give it to, her maybe she guilted herself into it. I know 1 person that suffered from this ailment and even though supposedly it cant be treated of it. 15 yrs later, after quite a few session with counsellors, she had no positive signs of it anymore. AND no I dont just mean outbreak, I mean clean blood tests. I dont know how this realates to the new strain though, havent actually thought about this in years.

So realistically thinking if she felt that guilty about sleeping with a friends husband, maybe she really is a good person after all and would never do it again once she was healed.

Just my 2 cents worth.
Joined: 2/4/2007
Msg: 80
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 8/23/2007 3:59:35 PM
i dont know much about it,but doesnt it happens in stages,like an outbreak sometimes.why dont u just avoid her when shes havin an outbreak
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 81
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 10/13/2007 6:33:45 AM
since i have herpes myself now i would have to say yes. before i had this condition i would have told you that i probably would without sexual contact, then if i fell in love with that person it is likely i would marry them and a family. you make sacrifices when your in love with someone.
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 82
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 2/1/2008 9:47:09 PM
I'd say keep looking. I'm sure you can find soomeone just as nice without STDs. Unless you don't mind risking your health, contracting something painful, and potentially spreading it to any future partners.
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 83
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 2/1/2008 9:50:59 PM
I suggest you do alot more research. Herpes is a virus. Under normal circumstances it stays latent, the body's immune system controls it from surfacing. When the immune system is down it resurfaces. Stress of any kind weakens the immune system. So, destressing or curing mental ailments will control the breakouts but the virus is still there and therefore is still contageous.
Joined: 11/29/2007
Msg: 84
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 2/8/2008 12:21:51 AM
first - kudos to her for being honest with the herpes. that must have been difficult for her to admit, especially on the first date with you. having read the stream of ensuing replies to this post, it appears she contracted it through poor decision making on her part - karma's a b***ch.

second, it's true that 1 in 4 north americans have herpes - that means that some of you that said they would not date someone with herpes may already have it and just been fortunate enough to not have endured an outbreak. it can be managed and people can have very active and healthy sex lives - it's all in the education and honesty. there is far too much shame wrapped around herpes. simply touching a cold sore on the mouth and unknowingly touching the genitals can also become full blown genital herpes - it really is that easy.

third, as well as getting back to the story, turns out herpes or no herpes, she really didn't have much of an issue with cheating - you dodged that bullet too!
 Tall, dark,and
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 85
view profile
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 4/3/2008 11:36:16 AM
Read this thread with interest and then did some research.

The best source of info I've found on herpes can be read by googling, "Good virus, bad virus"'.

Just saying.....
Joined: 10/25/2004
Msg: 86
view profile
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 4/13/2008 5:45:51 PM
The answer is NO!
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 87
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 4/13/2008 8:12:18 PM
OP, short answer: No. Even under control , in remission, etc. I just can't do it; I'm too "OCD'ish" with stuff in general, personally, like germs or whatever. Sometimes worse than others, but, this would just freak me out and bother me too much. I could never be comfortable being intimate or even kissing her, knowing she had this (if I didn't know that'd be another story -- but then of course I'd be really p!ssed once I found out, under control or not). I'd have to say the answer would be, for me, no.....regardless of how hot she was. Not worth it.
Joined: 4/2/2007
Msg: 88
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/21/2008 3:50:46 AM
Yes., I would date someone with herpes.
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 89
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/21/2008 6:39:37 AM
My BEST FRIEND met a bloke a few years back the old way, (face to face) and he didnt tell her he had it.
After a few months of seeing him she asked if he could get her preggas, (he was 50 and had 3 kids already at the time) he said "NO".
She then asked if he had any STD's.
And, thinking he was a good bloke, she believed he was going to say NO to that as well.
But after beating around the bush a bit he said "yes", he had Herpes.
She had asked because she wanted him, (for his sake) to stop having to use condoms.
She thought about it for a while and decided 'ok, she like him, and he will just have to keep useing the condoms.
After a year or so he told her he couldn't give it to her unless "he was showing ".
As S T U P I D, (her words) as it was, she believed him, and they stopped having protected sex.
6 months or so later she got it too.
She was totally devistated.
When she told him she had it and asked why he had lied to her, he said that because he had had it for so long he didn't always feel it coming on.
Unfortunately for her, she NOW knows that is BULLSH*T.
As she says, she is responsible for her mistake in believing him, but he is responsible for lying to her because of his own selfishness.
She now lives with the belief no one will want her when she tells them she has it.
She doesn't want to be like the Mongrel she was with and lie to guys or just say nothing at all, because she knows how it feels and because she knows it's not the right thing to do.
She has been my best friends for 17 years and I AM REALLY P*SSED OFF at this PR*CK for doing this to her.
She is REALLY P*ssed off at herself for putting his wants and feelings ahead of her own.
She ses she put HIM and his wants before HERSELF.
SHE Believes she Will Pay For That Forever.
Not all girls that have STD's are Slags. (like the thing you met).
Some are just SILLY for believing.
She is a BEAUTIFULL Lady and a GREAT Friend and she deserves Happiness.
I hope she Finds herself a 'REAL MAN'.
A MAN who will look past her mistake and LOVE her because HE knows SHES worth it.
Good Luck To YOU ALL
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 90
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:30:08 PM
There is no reason for her to continue to feel that way, as there are support groups and dating sites for people with herpes (like me).

Tell her to check out Many of us there are almost glad we have it, because of the wonderful friends we've met there. There are over 70,000 registered members there, but I'm guessing about half of those are active.

Also have her check for local Yahoo groups.
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 91
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:38:18 PM
Although she has herpes ... thats one hell of a woman to be so upfront and honest with u on the first date :)
Y dont u learn more about herpes and preventions...
meanwhile continue to date.... how many woman so honest and upfront have u met?
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  >