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Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 92
Would you date someone with Herpes?Page 3 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
i would "DATE" someone w/ herpes... but honestly i wouldnt have sex... hell i wouldnt even KISS someone w. herpes.... :(
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 93
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/24/2008 6:50:15 PM
Most of you have no idea if you have herpes. You never have a symptom and believe you are clean. You probably are but who knows. Get tested. IT is on the rise. I got tested; I"m one lucky **stard. The Western Blot test is the one to get....
Joined: 6/3/2008
Msg: 94
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/24/2008 7:11:40 PM
When I read all the not nice things people say about those with Herpes... I suggest that you be careful about what you say. Those of us that unfortunately have it, did not set out to get it. We were not informed by our sex partner...and hey, guess what? The next person you kiss could have it and not tell you, and bingo... nice big blister on your pretty sweet lips. Or the next person you sleep with could lie to you. People are notorious for lying about Herpes, HPV, Clamydia and other non-reported STDs. It could be your sister, brother, best friend or even yourself - Herpes does not discriminate.
 Stumbled In
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 95
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:45:54 PM
If you've had sex with more than 4-5 different people in the U.S. , chances are high you've already had sex with someone with Herpes and you just never knew it. They probably didn't know it either. Fact is, most people that have it don't have a clue. About 25% of the U.S. population is infected with type 2 genitally. Throw in a significant number of type 1 genital infections and that percentage is higher still. In that total, anywhere between 75% - 90% of Herpes positive people either have no symptoms at all or symptoms so mild they're not noticeable, so how bad can THAT be? But that's one helluva lot of people running around unaware. Btw, if you haven't been blood tested specifically for it, you don't know yourself whether you're infected or not. And a Herpes blood test isn't part of a standard STD panel. You have to ask for it and order it separately. I have no idea why.
Having said all that, you're risk of infection is actually lower with someone who knows their status. They, at least, know to protect a partner in a number of different ways and they can reduce the transfer risk to a level that's acceptable to all but the most microphobic. Someone who has no clue they're infected though, doesn't know to do that. So that's where most new infections come from. And that's why so many couples, one infected and the other not, go for years and years and never transfer the virus to the negative partner.
The biggest problem with Herpes is not the virus itself. It's that so many people are ignorant of the facts. I don't know why that's the case except that it's so much easier to listen and believe the misinformation and hearsay than it is to just look up the truth. I'm no expert on this stuff. I just looked it up from reliable and credible sources like anybody else could do.
Lastly, the OP's original question is basically the same as "Would you kiss someone who's ever had a fever blister on their lip.... ever?" I think most people would answer "yes" to that question without giving it a thought. And yet, it's the same virus, same symptoms, same risk of transfer (maybe even higher), but in a location nobody can see instead of smack on the front of the face.
By now you can probably guess what my answer to the question would be.
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 96
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:18:25 PM
At the risk of sounding really mean and unfair, I have to be totally honest with myself and realize, no, I wouldn't.

Not a risk I'd want to take after having stayed clean all my life. Now were it someone I'd gotten to know really well over time as a friend and then fallen in love with, I'd probably deal with it but someone I just met? Nope
 Classy Nomad
Joined: 9/14/2007
Msg: 97
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/24/2008 11:10:56 PM

If i go much further south all i can find for breakfast is menudo!!!
Chuck, with genital warts being the most prevalent and much more deadly (is THE MAIN cause for cervical cancer in women) than Herpes could ever be, why the heck aren't we more worried about dating folks who have HPV? In fact, I would NOT date someone with HPV whereas I would date someone with herpes.

One is an inconvenience, the other is a killer. And the killer happens to infect more people than genital herpes, syphyllis and gonnorhea combined.

That's a couple of good reasons to wrap the whopper, even if it IS like wearing a raincoat in the shower... Good judgement is essential to sexual health.

 Classy Nomad
Joined: 9/14/2007
Msg: 98
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/24/2008 11:12:52 PM
Wow... I don't know how the menudo thing got mixed in there- I had quoted on another thread yesterday, but I guess it sorta fits the thread, lol!!!

Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 99
view profile
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/24/2008 11:42:45 PM
it amazes me how little people know about herpes. so first of all let me point you to an e-book you can download for free. just google reknowned experts in the field for the following:

written by
Nurse Practitioner
Published by
Portland, Oregon

now, let me provide all of pof with a simple summary:

nowadays with oral sex being so prevalent, a good number of people who have had a herpes outbreak, even if "down there" are actually having oral outbreaks. the stats are as follows, keeping in mind that most people are CARRIERS and do not get tested unless they get outbreaks personally and many do not get outbreaks personally but can still pass it on to you and most of you can pass it on to them!!!! it depends on how good your own immune system is at warding the virus off. that is why so many people have antibodies to protect themselves from it. but their partners may not be as immune healthy. so this woman told you about her outbreak, but others may not and others (yourself included) do not even know they are carrying it--due to so much ignorance about the disease.

this info is extracted from the e-book recommended above, regarding both viruses--the oral and the genital (again keeping in mind that the oral can show up in the genital area):

"HSV 1 is the virus usually associated with cold sores or fever
blisters on the lips, nose, chin and sometimes other parts of the
face. Most HSV 1 infections are contracted during the childhood
years, and many infections go completely unnoticed, as the symptoms
can be very minor or not apparent. About 70% of adults in
the US display evidence of a previous HSV 1 infection when their
blood is tested for HSV 1 antibodies. This percent is declining over
time, perhaps as more people recognize that cold sores are caused
by “herpes” and more care is taken not to kiss others when cold
sores are present. As with HSV 2, HSV 1 virus can be transmitted
when no sores are visible.

HSV 2 is the virus usually associated with genital herpes infections.
About 22% of people in the US over the age of show evidence
of HSV 2 infection when their blood is tested by a test that
accurately distinguishes between HSV 1 and 2. Although the two
viruses are slightly different, both are capable of living anywhere on
the human body, but more about that later."

go read this book for all the details. i made copies and hand them out all the time to kids in my advocacy work. adults can go and download it themselves.

one serious problem i do know about this disease is that very few people can donate blood to newborn infants because so many are CARRYING herpes!!! i believe only about 15 percent of donors can be accepted to give blood for this subgroup. that is very scary to me. i am not sure if there is technology to extract this virus from the blood yet or at least kill it. my info comes from several years ago.

also if the person has had an outbreak, s/he should be taking a daily preventive of valtrex. if the person is doing that, you are probably less likely to get herpes from them, than a carrier who has no clue that s/he is a carrier!!! that is what is so ironic. there are amino acids to take and amino acids to avoid. however, that helps symptoms but not one's partner.

further, valtrex is expensive and the health care industry does not want to reveal all this info because the hmo's, govt. sponsored medicaid and medicare programs, etc. do not want to be paying for it. that, at least, is my saavy opinion as an ex health care delivery system "strategy consultant". i assume this is the same within socialized medicine elsewhere. they also don't want a public health scare. so , they only identify when asked or when a sore is presented. upon reading this e-book you will see that w/o an outbreak, it is only recently that tests have come forth to identify if someone is a carrier and then if they are, whether they are carrying the oral or the genital. the genital virus can be more severe and also more prolonged in getting it to stop surfacing.

furthermore you should know that even a condom, as with papillo virus, does not insure that you will not catch or pass on herpes because often the sores are outside the protected area. furthermore, many people think the lesser outbreaks are pimples. the more severe outbreaks can look more like blisters or ulcers. you have all seen the oral herpes cold sores on people's faces. the gential can look more like canker sores if on epithilial tissues, but again many get the sores outside this immediate area and on just regular old surrounding skin.

if you like this person and eventually become sexual, i'd suggest if she cannot afford valtrex that you both chip in and stay home and cook one nite, take that money and get on valtrex. as to all the carriers roaming around, this is just one other reason to only sleep with a person you care about deeply. random sex with many partners is what is making ALL these diseases so commonplace.

as for the ages, there is a widespread overall venereal outbreak amongst seniors as well as younger folks. all that repression is making my peers go bonkers post divorce and they are not thinking clearly!

hope that helps. i 've had many a high school student in my house crying over this. i'd be worrying more about the people who are carrying all sorts of stuff and either don't know it or don't care. how many of you test your sleeping partners for AIDS, trust they aren't being sexual with someone else, and then test again in six months to be sure? not many, i venture to say.

ps there are many other threads on pof pertaining to herpes. you should read them also.
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 100
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/25/2008 12:37:42 AM
I don't know... I doubt it'd be very good if we had sex in biohazard suits.
Joined: 6/6/2008
Msg: 101
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/25/2008 12:41:56 AM
If you use a condum everytime the chances are very minimal that you will contract Herpes. I've had it for 30 years and have not infected anyone yet. Just be sure to use condums at ALL times. She should have told you at the beginning of the date so you would have had the option to back out before either of you got hurt. But fear of loss of dates willdo that to someone. I don't have that fear.
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 102
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/25/2008 5:04:45 PM
Guess I won't be getting a date soon on this site! LOL!

Gotta love the ignorance of adults concerning STD's!

Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 103
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/25/2008 5:29:37 PM
Good god no, they're all furry, falsely cute and eat batteries like candy. Oh wait, you said HERPES not FURBIES. Sorry, misread.
Yes, I would date someone with herpes, but I would be more reserved and cautious before instigating or allowing physical contact, therefore they may not want to date me.
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 104
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/25/2008 5:42:21 PM
Wow - how rude. Damaged goods!!!! Is that what we are? I got it from a live in b/f 21 years ago that never told me he had it - in fact, his best friend told me after we split up that he gave it to me on purpose cuz I wouldn't marry him.

And that makes ME damaged goods for life?

That is the rudest comment I have heard in the 21 years I have had it.

Karma dude!
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 105
view profile
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/25/2008 6:14:53 PM
Not under any circumstances
 Classy Nomad
Joined: 9/14/2007
Msg: 106
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/25/2008 10:23:01 PM
You know, after some thought, and give the state of affairs these days...

If I knew I could count on the rest of my life with a woman who loved and respected me and the vows that are marriage- If I could count on that for the rest of my life, I could live with an occaisional bump on my weinie. There are worse things these days, ya know?

AIDS and betrayal top my list of the worst. If I could find love for life- and I've never had as much as a single crotch-cricket(all my crotch-crickets were married, lol) or had to take penicillin, nothing, and I'm a TRUCKER, for God's sake...

Herpes are small-fry, anymore....

My .02....

-Nomad-(gallant knight with plumed armor emoticon, please?)
 Stumbled In
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 107
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/26/2008 11:51:46 AM
What's a fact? So far, I've haven't seen you state a fact.
And I'm assuming the question you've asked is rhetorical. But just in case it's not, I'll be glad to answer it. Unlike many other viruses, you can't contract Herpes from inanimate objects like counter tops, door knobs, or toilet seats (that's a debunked myth). And it's not airborne like cold and flu viruses either so it won't jump on you from even a fraction of an inch away. There's only one documented transmission route, and that's skin to skin contact. And not just any skin either. It's transfered only from the limited patch of skin when and where the virus is present, to a susceptible patch of skin on the transferee. The conditions all have to be right for a transfer to occur so it's actually not as contagious as you might think. These are facts. And the more facts you learn, the more you'll realize that the Herpes stigma has been total B/S from the start.
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 108
view profile
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:15:01 PM
stumbled in, read the guy's profile. he's a male escort asking someone else "what the hell did you do to get this crap". for him, a legitimate question. he's worried about karma. i guess i would be too. he knows nothing else. so give the poor guy a break. ignorance is not bliss. it is sad.

ps also read his history. in fact, probably worried about the full gamut of std's. i would really worry for his unsuspecting female friends (not to mention the clients). yet, he judges the above poster, who caught hers unknowingly from a person she trusted and cared for? pfffttt. here we have the root of the problem.
Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 109
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/26/2008 9:25:27 PM
I have friends who have it. Their partner has NEVER caught it. It is possible to have sex with somone who has herpes and not catch it.
Joined: 5/25/2008
Msg: 110
view profile
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/27/2008 12:09:19 AM
Herpes is a thread though....even when it's in remission. It's highly contagious and many folks out there will tell you it's no picnic. I don't know how frequently outbreaks occur for folks, but some have said it's something they can live with.

If you are searching for your soul mate, don't hold this against her. I'm impressed that she was up front and honest with you about it. It was probably difficult for her to do. The fact that she told you it was in remission was good, but as I said before...this is a skin disorder and wearing condoms won't protect you 100%. It's much like HPV, scabies, have to weigh the risks and rewards (meaning the relationship rewards, not the sex).
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 111
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/27/2008 4:30:54 AM
Forgive me, for I have sinned.....I had sex with my boyfriend of 6 months. I obviously trusted the wrong person, and I am paying for it the rest of my life.
 Boricua Papi
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 112
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/27/2008 10:42:24 AM
She was honest with you. Give her that credit. But Herpes is something you don't have to live with. She had that disease from someone else, or someones elses, and it would be sort of unfair for you to bring that burden into your health. If you want to keep having "good time" with that woman good, (in a remote possibility you might really fall inlove with her) just don't have sexual contact if you can. There are plenty of gorgeous women out there who are diseases free!
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 113
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/27/2008 5:39:27 PM
Be friends with this woman. Obviously she made an impression. I don't know much about herpes or how it is transmitted, but she could have been a victim. At least she was honest and told you. The person that passed it on to here probably was cheating on her and never shared the information with her. I know that a relationship without sex would be extremely hard, but try it. I am sure that she is educated about her situation and wouldn't put you in any jeapordy.
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 114
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/27/2008 6:20:43 PM
 Classy Nomad
Joined: 9/14/2007
Msg: 115
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/27/2008 6:32:29 PM

You are a Di**Head and way to ugly and ignorant to be an Escort of any type.

Blow idiot

Dammit, Hippy... I really needed a laugh!

I confess to having looked at his profile, and for a moment I contemplated telling him about his ass. I was gonna use words bordering in the racial, a la VietNam, but realized I would be hurting other nice folks whose culture and cuisine I enjoy.

There are schithedds of all varieties and he is but another of them. I concur with you most wholeheartedly. Guys like him are why some of us decent(albeit with a latent baddd-boy streak) ones have a rough time when the gale-winds blow across the Great Fishpond...

En Amor... -Nomad-
 2 chance
Joined: 6/22/2008
Msg: 116
Would you date someone with Herpes?
Posted: 6/27/2008 6:59:35 PM
NO !! Absolutely NOT !! It's a shame that she has them , maybe it's not her fault , but she should have been open with you , right from the start , if she hid that from you , who knows what else she may be hiding !!
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