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 am70sguy
Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 27
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Background checks?? Page 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Kind of sucks one somebody has to be THAT cautious before meeing others. I do know that I won't be giving my drivers license or SSN to anybody I don't know real well, it would suck to be scammed that way.
 crystalise
Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 28
Background checks??
Posted: 10/31/2005 12:32:43 AM
This guy was very good. Tells me he has done it before - ie he had it all worked out. Sometimes people just are systematic liars who go to the trouble to get the props to back them up [ eg a living place] its a hard call. One of my alarm bells to me would be does he have his own place and does he allow you to visit. This one he had that covered!

Dont beat yourself up too much. Personally if you want to google go ahead. Though I dont think its that reliable. Its nothing worse than looking up a website where someone works. What is wrong with checkin up an address or details on a public site. Though I draw the line at snooping at private stuff.

My list of checking if a guy is not married or has girlfriend/partner [ disclaimer not 100% infallible but it helps]

you have a home number and you've called it and hes answered etc - several times
you have a work number and you've called it and hes answered etc
You have visited his house more than once. And if you have, he doesnt frantically run around after you cleaning up and making sure 'you got everything' and looks nervous while you are there
You go out socially and introduces you to people who know him
He is reasonably reliable and available. eg not lots of last minute arrangements to catch up - eg 5pm for that night or worse - a 1am phone call - thats just a booty call - or lots of last minutes excuses not to make it [ after a couple tells me there is something going on]
You've met/been introduced family members [ a little further down the line of course]

Like I said this isnt a guarantee - someone who really wants to could get around some or even ALL of these situations - But they are reasonable steps to keep an eye on. Its hard as we all want to trust and believe in the good, but at the same time not be totally blind.

No I dont usually google people - but I do keep an eye out fo the above now. Like you Ive been caught - so try to learn from it if you can. They arent all like this one
 HaveYouMetHayden
Joined: 12/17/2004
Msg: 29
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Background checks??
Posted: 10/31/2005 6:45:41 AM
even though there are some bad types out there, and i don't in any way think they are limited to the net and dating sites, are we all that paranoid?

there are usually ways of getting an idea someone is not up front. but you will never see all the scams as the people who do them have tried and failed before.

i would never give away personal details on a first meet unless i had known the person for a long time and we were getting along great in person. and even then i would take a second to think about it.

but then again, i'm not getting inundated by requests for my number, address, full name or a face to face meet :)
 rainbow_fish
Joined: 8/2/2005
Msg: 30
Background checks??
Posted: 10/31/2005 10:21:15 AM
all you need is someones name and date of birth....
nothing else.
 Douglajl
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 31
Background checks??
Posted: 10/31/2005 2:18:55 PM
actually, A DOB isn't all that neccesary either, some common deduction, a little atention to conversation and their first & last name, a middle initial can help narrow it down some if they live ina big city.
 rainbow_fish
Joined: 8/2/2005
Msg: 32
Background checks??
Posted: 10/31/2005 2:23:06 PM
you then have not met someone with the name John Williams I take it...

lol
only about 50 in my zip code alone
 ThePretender
Joined: 10/15/2005
Msg: 33
Background checks??
Posted: 10/31/2005 4:39:39 PM
i ain't got nothing to hide..oh except that one time up in montana when i was arrested..
Oh country, please tell us what you were arrested for!
 jimb77
Joined: 8/30/2005
Msg: 34
Background checks??
Posted: 10/31/2005 4:46:54 PM
Under what you are looking for, it doesn't say must not be married.
Met at an apartment, I take it you had sex?
Here is what I would do: wait until he left home, go to his house and tell his wife exactly what you just told us.
He is the kind of guy that gives me and all other decent guys a bad reputation.

Googled me? nope, wouldn't bother me one bit, I don't lie.
 crystalise
Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 35
Background checks??
Posted: 10/31/2005 10:10:33 PM
actually, A DOB isn't all that neccesary either,


actually I have to disagree with your kind self and rainbow in regards to researching all vital details on the net...you need a lot more than that to work out if the person is " lying" to you above and beyong google anyhoos They can even lie about any stats on themselves. Some people are just gifted I guess

I would have to agree sometimes you just have to get involved with conversation as you stated later in your post and pay attention to detail

Really Roollllllyy concerned?? get a private investigator ...sometimes all the best defences in the world still wont help.
 Douglajl
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 36
Background checks??
Posted: 11/1/2005 2:12:21 AM

I'm just gonna slam my dates up against the wall, frisk em, cuff em..then i'm going to take em to my lil den of pain and torture em until they confess all..i have ways of making them talk *shaking can of whipped cream*



I'll be there at 8 PM Saturday. I'll bring my own can of cream.
 livewirehere
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 37
Background checks??
Posted: 11/1/2005 10:34:56 AM
There's a web site called Intellius, and if you have a few specific details about the person, i.e. date of birth, last known address, or couple of addresses ((or even any other states they've lived in)), phone number, and SS# if you can get it.. It's amazing the things they can research. They can tell if the person has ever even been arrested or been in jail. Not just prison. I only had them check out the last 2 states the person I was talking to had lived in, and he did admit to having been in jail 7years prior. That did show up, but there was nothing else. The more you pay, of course, the more info you get; such as whether they're being pursued for back child support, whether they're really divorced ~~LOL~~ Lots of things they can check into....
 former beach girl
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 38
Background checks??
Posted: 11/1/2005 3:22:28 PM
Hello everyone,
Just FYI i talked to the wife on the phone and even sent proof to her personal email. i believe he got to the email first, so i am having a friend that he does not know drop by the house when it should be dinner time to drop off a package of proof, dont worry its a male friend and i am driving a rental car since my car is in the shop. lol he will learn...

I have since used Intellius to comfirm everything that i found out on the web. and BINGO it is him....

As far as someone mentioned sex... heck no he couldnt get it to work... must have been quilt. i have even heard from another women on another site that i found him on and she was seeing him and didnt know that he was married either.

this is the first time that i have ever had a bad expewrience with meeting someone online. next time i will do my homework even better.
 hoosierlady1953
Joined: 11/3/2007
Msg: 39
Background checks??
Posted: 8/2/2009 6:13:56 PM
need a reliable site to do a background check. Help, any suggestions?
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 40
Background checks??
Posted: 8/3/2009 12:35:32 AM
I will be the first to tell someone of my background, I dont have any thing to hide (maybe I should LOL but I wont) So someone doing a background check on me is fine!! I am also a single mother so a background check is a must do for me!
 Scott13372
Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 41
Background checks??
Posted: 8/3/2009 1:37:10 AM
What kind of stupid guy is going to tell you where he works or his last name?

Some girl tried this with me "what's your last and middle name?" She tried to be cute about it as to make it a 'guessing game'. Make it a bit more obvious. The fact someone actually wants a drivers license is a huge red light.

Anyway, I let most people know I have a job and the general vicinity where it's at but I was thinking "it's really not safe to give this information to a stranger." What if someone from PoF randomly shows up to my work and asks the security guard to see me and they ring me down and they have a fit in he lobby and I risk my professionalism? Or if they wait for me outside and aren't who they say they are?

Anything is possible but background checks are sort of... odd...or maybe I'm missing the train on this one.
 builderforfun
Joined: 5/13/2009
Msg: 42
Background checks??
Posted: 8/3/2009 11:11:07 AM
Do your self a favor check out the person, if they don't like it move on, this is a risky step for anyone, to many deranged physcos out there.
 Lovinlifeat44
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 43
Background checks??
Posted: 8/3/2009 4:00:00 PM
Background check? Absolutely!

I have been in legal for far too long NOT to do it. I wouldn't go so far as to hire an investigator as all of the men I've dated have been quite upfront and honest about their past.

Google isn't going to give you a whole lot. But here are some suggestions:

1) Start with the county they live in. Go to the Clerk of Court website. Do a search on their name in every category (i.e., civil, marriage licenses, etc.) Some clerks offices are free, some charge for this service.

2) Department of Corrections for your state. Do a search on their name for "Offenders." If they have been adjudicated guilty of a felony, you'll know.

3) Most sheriff's office websites also have a website for who has been arrested and put in jail for that county. Usually they will go back for about a year or two.

4) Florida has a website called "Myfloridacounty.com." I put my name in there, it shows my divorce, remarriage, homes I've owned, mortgages, etc.

So, basically, it's pretty easy to find out anything about anyone. You just have to know where to look (and know their real name).
 Ifeellucky
Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 44
Background checks??
Posted: 8/3/2009 4:07:43 PM
its sad but true, there are alot of crazy people in the world...but if you use your discretion and trust your instinct, you will know if you have a freak on your hands or not
 PHISHING4LUV
Joined: 3/25/2009
Msg: 45
Background checks??
Posted: 8/3/2009 7:30:23 PM
Wait a minute, don't nobody use instinct? Stay grounded spiritually, stay soul connected, stay God connected...y'all can't sniff this out by yourself, listen to your inner voice!!! I usually can spot a mother sucker from a mile away, usually. (:-) Once I meet someone in person it's a done deal - I can see right through them.
 MissaInVA
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 46
Background checks??
Posted: 8/4/2009 6:17:53 AM
I really do not get guys (or women) who lie about being married. If you're married and of a mind to screw around there's plenty of people out there who won't care that you're married. Give those of us who do care the chance and the right to say, "I'm not that kind of person. This is not what I want." Not to mention, it's a damn good way to get yourself shot. I've said before - I worked in a maximum security prison for 10 years - you guys want to know how many people I can name right off the top of my head who are in prison (many for life) because of this kind of behavior? They caught their spouse/SO screwing around and killed them and/or the other person. The other person caught on to the fact that they were being played... On and on it goes.

I've also said that I've been surprised at how many ex-convicts and convicted wife beaters I've recognized on here and other dating sites. Someone should start a dating site where they do a criminal background check before putting up your profile.
 seattlerain11
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 47
Background checks??
Posted: 8/4/2009 10:01:56 AM
So many of you sound like scared little bunnies hiding under a bush. My god people... get out, have a life, meet people... meet NEW PEOPLE. Meet others from POF.

Someone else had mentioned using your intuitions... USE THEM (or dig yours out from behind the brick wall you built around it.

I think one of the primary social ills of our time is a lack of TRUST... over 99.99% of people are NICE people; they are just trying to enjoy and get through life the best they can with the brain and circumstances they were given. Very few are out to harm you, but some people here are making it sound like there's a boogyman behind every door.

If I meet a woman here who has the list... you know:
12 emails,
4 phone calls
background check
and THEN a coffee in a very public place with 5 of her friends secretly sitting at other tables

I won't give her the time of day.


James, Seattle, Washington, USA, Earth
 jmim
Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 48
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Background checks??
Posted: 8/7/2009 2:51:06 AM
Being cautious is never a bad idea.
Just make sure you get your information from a credible source.
I searched my initials "JMIM" on myspace and found a fake profile of a guy in an orange jail garb and a really disturbing profile. (Which I got myspace to DELETE)
Got me wondering if thats the profile women ran into when I gave them my myspace.
Then again, they should have been smart enough to see he looked nothing like me.
 wonwascallywabbit
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 49
Background checks??
Posted: 8/7/2009 10:06:06 AM
I suppose if paranoia has taken you that far, or if some really negative experiences have made you that way, more power to you. Personally I could never be that rude or care that much about someones past. If you have kids, sure check the sex offender registry. What a womans past is to me is just that, and has little if anything to do with building a future. Really if I told a woman I was dating I had her checked, and didn't recieve a healthy slap in the face along with a goodbye I would lose a lot of respect for her. Trust is after all a large part of the foundation upon which a solid relationship is laid.
 amusing_guy
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 50
Background checks??
Posted: 9/1/2009 9:07:14 AM
I think everyone should run a background check on their gf/bf before it gets heavy.
 SirThinkAlot
Joined: 4/21/2009
Msg: 51
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Background checks??
Posted: 9/1/2009 9:40:54 AM
sorry to disagree but:
1)If you google yourself it will not necessarily show your forum posts. Not if you are not logged into POF and if you regularily delete the tracking. Now if you google the username & plentyoffish toegether in the search criteria it should work. But that can already be accomplished in POF without google.
2) good luck on the IP address thing. A) It is easy to spoof an IP address. B) If you were savy enough to get my IP and traced it would show a location and state in which I've never lived and am not situate in.
3) MOST online background check systems are a ruse they either supply you with freely available public record data that you could have gotten on your own or nothing of value.
I google myself and nothing. Not a thing on me. My name is listed many times however it is not me.
Also remember this. Just because someone is a criminal, wacko, stalker, mean, nasty or whatever the issue is, do not think they are not intelligent.
They might be brilliant, an IT professional or good at covering their tracks. It is not hard to disguise your identity online and be private with your identity or your past. Hence why bother to try to find out the information that way. It is useless and gives you a false sense of security unless the person being "checked" is dumb. In which case simple questioning directly of that party should suffice.
This is not just opinion.
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