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 She_Biscuit
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 77
Background checks?? Page 4 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

I have broken up a with a few women because I had hits on my credit report from private investigators and such.


One way to fix that, sign up with Lifelock, problem solved! No one needs to see the credit reports, like I said, sharing each others fico score, is well said enough and that is easy to pull, for each person. Yes, in this day and age, one has to secure themselves, even when dating. Go figure. For me, all that other stuff, I'm good enough at reading someone to figure things out. The only thing that I want to know, straight up, is how that person has led his life, treated folks and you bet it, criminal background. Like I said, if they are not willing to share that, I won't go any further, period.
 ohjees
Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 78
Background checks??
Posted: 1/4/2010 11:10:05 AM
Just google your state and Case Search. IE: MD Case Search or CA Case Search. It will bring up the judicial court search system for your state and you can bring up their entire legal / arrest history. If I have the person's first and last name I ALWAYS do the search. Learnt my lesson the hard time and I'll never make that mistake again.
 m14shooter
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 79
view profile
History
Background checks??
Posted: 1/6/2010 12:06:16 AM

One way to fix that, sign up with Lifelock, problem solved! No one needs to see the credit reports, like I said, sharing each others fico score, is well said enough and that is easy to pull, for each person. Yes, in this day and age, one has to secure themselves, even when dating. Go figure. For me, all that other stuff, I'm good enough at reading someone to figure things out. The only thing that I want to know, straight up, is how that person has led his life, treated folks and you bet it, criminal background. Like I said, if they are not willing to share that, I won't go any further, period.


Close personal lines of credit and go corporate and trust route.
 m14shooter
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 80
view profile
History
Background checks??
Posted: 1/6/2010 12:13:33 AM

Nobody can legally run a credit report 0n you without your permission
except when you apply for a credit card, insurence, or a potential employer that you
give permission to do so.

Years ago anyone could run one on anyone but not now.

A private investigator can only run a "credit header" which only verifies
your home address.


Even without permission a employer can run your credit, had it done to me and I sued them.
 saylor627
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 81
Background checks??
Posted: 1/6/2010 11:50:01 AM
Don't be a dolt.....we are all vulnerable on here.....it can be dicey...do your homework....the cost of online investigating is way cheaper than dinner. This is the intellient thing to do...just like blood tests......most folks are just looking to find someone and their intentions are good......but it is a big, bad world out there.
 Singleinlewistonidaho
Joined: 8/25/2009
Msg: 82
Background checks??
Posted: 1/6/2010 12:54:34 PM
Background checks are a good idea SINCE I posted about a date rapist on POF who raped a friend of mine and it was deleted. No I did not post his profile or ID him. Just a warning that there are creeps here and I posted a link that explained what date rape is. Poof wanished.

Way to fo POF for keeping the women safe.

mike
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 83
view profile
History
Background checks??
Posted: 1/10/2010 8:25:56 AM

Don't trust men from the start...guilty before prove innocent should be your motto as sad as it may sound


oh - puh-leeze!!!

there are many, MANY women out there just as capable of deception.



years ago, back in the bad old days of Usenet, i "met" a charming man on a newsgroup devoted to lovers of redhaired women. he lived in Providence, RI and i was in Ottawa, Canada at the time. over the next few years, we corresponded for a while and started talking on the phone around the time we each had a parent dying of cancer.

in 2002, he got a new job with a company that had a contract to do work for the US embassy up here and learned that he would have to travel to Ottawa regularly. days after his first trip and our first meeting, i got an email from a woman who claimed that she was his live-in girlfriend and that they owned a house together.

i sent him an email asking about this and got no reply.

then i sent an email to his work address only to get a very confused phone call in response. i read him the email from this woman.

turns out she was someone he had dated a few times and put in the "friend" category. she had offered to look after his house and dog while he was away and she put a sniffer program on his computer to read his emails.

EVERY single last woman i told this story to told me i had to believe this strange woman - to take HER word over his, even though M had NEVER given me cause to disbelieve anything he had ever told me about himself.

turns out, this woman was a genuine crazy. she had met M when they worked for the same large company and she had got herself transferred from Ohio to Rhode Island because she thought there was a connection.

after he and i had ended our relationship (he is the reason i now ask about politics and religion EARLY in a friendship), i learned a couple of years later that SHE had been arrested for uttering death threats against M's ex-wife and children. even though they had only dated a few times, she was pathologically jealous and convinced that his family was the reason he wasn't with her.

so NO, men are NOT "guilty" first.

if that's really how you feel, you have no business dating anyone!
 farscapeprincess
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 84
Background checks??
Posted: 1/10/2010 9:56:25 AM

In Real Life dating you run in the same circles, or know where the person hangs out or works, or you know people who know his family etc.


Uh, not necessarily. If you meet someone say at a sporting event, bar, the beach, whatever you still don't know squat about him. Unless you meet through mutual friends, who can vouch for the person. So basically in real life you don't know those guys or girls from a hole in the wall.

The thing I'm most concerned about is whether is whether someone is married or separated initially. I can show you my divorce decree. Can you show me yours? I think someone with a long rap sheet can easily be sniffed out over time. Not becoming intimate with a guy too soon will also weed out the bottom feeders.

In the world of fishing here or meeting in other settings, it's still the equivalent of going to a bar where everyone you meet is a stranger. You will find all kinds.
 MiketheZombie
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 85
Background checks??
Posted: 1/10/2010 10:52:11 AM
Too long. didn't read it.

If you don't trust him you don't love him.
Simple as that. Ditch em and forget em.
 MiketheZombie
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 86
Background checks??
Posted: 1/10/2010 10:56:36 AM
For the record there is a whole lot of paranoid people in this post.
 bump4bump
Joined: 12/1/2009
Msg: 87
Background checks??
Posted: 1/28/2010 4:37:48 PM
What type of people in your life do you do background checks on, everyone or just the ones you date? If it's everyone then doing it is par for the course, if it's just the ones you date - it's hypocritical. Just curious as to how many people survived the dating world prior to the ease of background checks via the interent. Seems like there are quite a few here still alive and kicking.

This medium opens up a whole world of possibilities, the reality is it is not much different than meeting someone at your church let's say. There are good and bad people to be found anywhere. I'm leaning in favor of saying checking the background of someone you will potentially date is done so to resolve insecurity issues under the guise of saying there is a need to protect myself - which imo is wrong.

 anicole27
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 88
Background checks??
Posted: 1/28/2010 5:04:20 PM
A guy I had went on a few dates with asked me where I lived and I said wasn't comfortable yet with him coming to my home yet. He told me he had done a background check on me so he knew where I lived so I didn't need to tell him. I didn't even tell him my full name so I asked how he got enough info to do a background check but he wouldn't tell me. He also told me he had a file of women and their addresses, etc. Anyways I was livid and that was the end of that. I don't need someone showing up at my home uninvited. Also I think it's creepy to do background checks on people and tell them about it.
 chrisofpa
Joined: 8/28/2009
Msg: 89
Background checks??
Posted: 1/28/2010 7:16:37 PM
There are a couple of situations where you can be sure that the person underwent at least a rudimentary background check.

1. Department of Defense employees - When I applied for a DOD job, the FBI came out and interviewed about 20 people in our neighborhood. This was for an entry level position. That was 20 years ago but I'm sure it's still pretty much the same (I did get the position)

2. In some states, if you work with kids, you need to get a background check. In Pennsylvania they do a pretty thorough check before you get certified.

3. A lot of states issue concealed carry permits. Even the more liberal (in issuing) states do a pretty thorough check.

The poster who mentioned about the sniffer programs did remind me how important that is. Programs like that can be placed on your computer and your phone. They are difficult to detect.
 spokanepasco
Joined: 11/20/2009
Msg: 90
Background checks??
Posted: 1/29/2010 10:12:40 AM
Background checks are excellent especially in cities where criminals go to jail and get back on the streets in one heartbeat.
 DiannaBall
Joined: 1/6/2010
Msg: 91
Background checks??
Posted: 2/5/2010 7:41:45 AM
It is a matter of knowing what sites to use. Anything can be found, believe me. ANYTHING. You just need the right websites and information. Sure, people can and do lie but information is a click away. I have never paid ONE DIME to find out about these guys. And I have found out TONS of crap on them. TONS. No need to live cautious for a long time. That is horse shit. Just use the right tools to find out what you need to know.
 Green Eyed Swede
Joined: 1/22/2010
Msg: 92
Background checks??
Posted: 2/7/2010 12:54:25 AM
So, i tried to Google someone's name (too common) and then I tried his email address and user id names, all to no avail. Any way to find or trace hs online posts, emails, etc? I suspect he's cheating and lying to say the least. Please help!
 Green Eyed Swede
Joined: 1/22/2010
Msg: 93
Background checks??
Posted: 2/7/2010 12:58:22 AM
How, please? Please share the URL addresses to the sites that will gie you thi info without a lot of $$ or none to spend?
 DiannaBall
Joined: 1/6/2010
Msg: 94
Background checks??
Posted: 2/7/2010 4:54:37 AM
WWTW ~ as an x cop I never said that. I said DO NOT LIVE that way(in fear or being cautious all the time.) Gawd. How miserable.. Put the Web Cam down and read what I said. Yes, you can find anything out about someone who has been convicted. About people NON convicted? Now what a lame question that is. Why is my post false? I have managed to find out about 43 men on here, so again' pay attention. You can find out about people if you know how to. As far as people lying' if you think they are lying, then ask them for ID. If you are letting people in your house, sure; you can ask. You have a right too. Lets not blame people who shoot steroids on things. Most of the time, people with anger issues are just that. Angry people. If you think some man is shooting steroids, and is angry, he was probably already a jerk. Just like people on alcohol and prescription meds. All tragic in one form or another. You can use and Department OF Corrections, any Law Enforcement Agency site to find these people. I do not know why you are having such a hard time? And no, as an ex cop I am not using any help or any extra cites. Simply, FREE PUBLIC SITES. Get to know people before you have them in your home, have sex or web cam with people. Then you do not need to go through life so angry. I refuse to live my life all cautious and in fear of people 24/7. I also know to look into them pretty soon; because people do lie!!! And, if you are really sure someone is not being honest? Then do not even bother with them. lol And no one was arguing with you that bad..I do not do what you do with these men. I meet them, I find out about them, and I am most of the time done with them after a MEETING. All I was saying is there is a way to find out about people. All the time. Use the resources. You do NOT need an address. You need a name, DOB, correct spelling. And boom . There ya go. Like I said if I can find 43 men , you can too. And the men should be running the women as well. If you want to talk, just e mail me. Arguing with you? Nawwww...you and I do not "meet" men the same way...laffin. Mine start as ice tea, get to know you and ask important information type meetings. I will stop there...lol
 DiannaBall
Joined: 1/6/2010
Msg: 95
Background checks??
Posted: 2/7/2010 5:09:47 AM
I will add one more thing; you can get a lisence plate or VIN number out of the windshield of a vehilce. MOST vehicles have them visible Another way to find out what name pops up, who the car is registered too. HALF the time a spouse's name will pop up. And boom, there is your address or address (some searches provide address history.) Traffic tickets and Warrants. Seriously people, there are SO many ways to find out about people. Shame we have to do this. Half the reason I am not meeting people on here anymore is for all of the "types" on here. I mean the amount of guys who claimed to have jobs, be legally divorced, no criminal back ground; 90% all came back with all of the above. This was after one meeting with ice tea. So, I am over it. Not that people off line cannot have a past but gawd; the amount of preditors on line is really scary. I tried on line because I am a non drinker and do not go out a lot and THOUGHT it would be a good way to meet someone "like" me. But, it has not worked. So, I am here for the forums. Bottom line here folks; if you think someone is lying, they probably are. And really, don't bother. I did all this when I was NEW to on line meetings. Then it just became routine. It sucks. It got old. I am over it. But I am telling you, if you insist; you can really find out.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 96
Background checks??
Posted: 2/7/2010 5:14:33 AM
It is smart to check anyone out.
Would you buy a car or home, hire a builder/contractor with out a full background check into certain things?

And you can check anything out. You know the right sites and right people..

Of course medical records are a bit difficult.

Who in there right mind is going to invest them selves into any one with out checking them out in real life or online?

After a few dates you need to be offering up some things..

Give me your drivers license and county you live in.. I have almost everything I need.



And of course it's just horseshit to be cautious because every guy we meet
online tells us his real name. As a former cop you are telling women to
NOT BE CAUTIOUS?



NOT what she said..READ.

Your prior experiences you have put out for people on line don't show you have made intelligent decisions in the past IMO..so what are you doing? Just having a bit of a poke at someone?
Lets run one on you...lmaoo

You have every right op to find out who you are letting in you life.
 dysfunction_junction
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 97
Background checks??
Posted: 2/7/2010 5:23:57 AM
I suspect he's cheating and lying to say the least. Please help!

if this is happening, there are two reasons for it:
(1) you're paranoid; or
(2) he has given you a real reason for suspicion.

i'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume the latter. because people who are habitually deceptive by nature will give away little clues about themselves even if it's sorta just under the radar. we can perceive it with what we commonly call "intuition". but probably at least 80% of a liar's lies can be detected just through language patterns and body language alone. that's why i have a good friend who is now out of prison on a life conviction for murder and to whom i'd trust my life & possessions, but i wouldn't trust half of the people i see walking around Wal-Mart with a butter knife and a box of fire crackers.

that being said, if he is so suspect, WHY would you even pursue a relationship with him? either you question him directly about it and get an answer (which may or may not merit being checked out), or you just say "meh, not worth it" and get on with your life without him.

i have a strong personal preference for the latter. saves everyone a lot of time. ;)

p.s. i guess the third possibility is that you don't trust your own judgment. some people are notoriously poor at discerning others' character & motivations. in which case, you shouldn't even be dating.
 padman57
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 98
Background checks??
Posted: 2/7/2010 8:42:05 AM
Judging by the number of people who say it's OK to lie on their online profiles (another thread), I disagree with the assumption that a significant percentage of the online population are nice, trustworthy people.

When I apply for employment, I expect to have my background checked. When I obtained a CPL, I expected to have my background checked. When I meet someone from an online dating site, it wouldn't surprise me to learn she had checked my background.

Someone who was involved in a robbery where someone got killed is not someone I'm going to trust. Period, end of story. I don't care how innocent they claim to be.
 sweetlikesugarcane
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 99
Background checks??
Posted: 2/7/2010 9:17:34 AM
I am all for background checks!

 6citygal1
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 100
Background checks??
Posted: 2/7/2010 10:25:51 AM
I think background checks are going overboard. Do you do a background check on every person you met at bar, bookstore etc. A potential murderer, rapist, married person looking to cheat etc could be anywhere.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 101
Background checks??
Posted: 2/7/2010 11:42:59 AM

Judging by the number of people who say it's OK to lie on their online profiles (another thread), I disagree with the assumption that a significant percentage of the online population are nice, trustworthy people.

When I apply for employment, I expect to have my background checked. When I obtained a CPL, I expected to have my background checked. When I meet someone from an online dating site, it wouldn't surprise me to learn she had checked my background.

Someone who was involved in a robbery where someone got killed is not someone I'm going to trust. Period, end of story. I don't care how innocent they claim to be.


Agree.

You can date all the ex cons and guys who have 2 wives and owe some innocent kid 50 grand in child support all you want to.

Women who bounced checks from Cali to Texas..go ahead

Armed robbery..but he did his time and deserves love..gawd, cool love him all you want to.
Manslaughter..was just a bar fight out of control..geez you can have him,

If you have been committed or had 3 DUIs..you bet I want to know.

I welcome any background check as I would any STD test and if someone doesn't want to check me out and is offended I want to check them...wah wah wah

Just because he deserves love doesn't mean he is getting it in my freaking bed/house.

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