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Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 108
Background checks?? Page 7 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Its honestly just a mixed topic. For some people if things don't add up, ok go for it. But there is a point where you do/can go overboard. I dated a girl in my hometown. She was a graduate teacher at the university. I had mentioned my time there as a student. She went into CLOSED school records to verify what I said was true. Needless to say, not only was it illegal to do so, but she told me that she had done it. I don't mind a public search. Do a Carfax, go to intellius and look me up. Keep it legal.

But as soon as someone crosses that line, no thanks. That's the point of paranoia I can do without.
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 109
Background checks??
Posted: 2/8/2010 12:23:58 AM


Are you better than a MURDERER, ladies? Well, if he's the NightStalker or a WifeBeater or a Child Abductor, then I'm pretty sure you are.

However, what about the 43 year old guy who just served 20 years for being involved in (but not the shooter) in a convenience store or bank store robbery where a cashier was killed? (No..NOT ME, silly.. no criminal past here)
He had no childhood role models, got caught up with the wrong crowd before he ever developed self-esteem or positive self-worth. He has since acknowledged his wrongs, stayed clean as possible in jail, followed the Bible, got his GED, took some technical courses..and now's he back on the streets.

Is he an 'EX-CON', a 'MURDERER', or HUMAN BEING who made a mistake (a big one) when young.. who deserves love as much as anyone else.

I don't care if it was a 'mistake' he made when he was 23. I don't care if he uses the excuse of 'no good rold model/caught up in the wrong crowd' ect. Many criminals 'find god' when in jail. But I'm not going to date him. Small petty arrests such as a possession of marijuana? Maybe. But any arrests for assault or felony convictions is a deal breaker.
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 110
Background checks??
Posted: 2/8/2010 1:04:15 AM
Unreal -- some of the posts in here advocating actions that I would not be surprised if half the posters would be in here claiming they were being stalked by a nut-case if they had the same crap pulled on them.

I do not care if a date uses google/yahoo to search my name being curious to find out more about me. Second I found someone pulled a 'background investigation' report -- end of relationship. I don't care of that would be first date, pre-first-date, 20th date, whatever. End of story.

Do I have anything to hide? Nope. Multiple security clearances in my life pretty much say I haven't done anything to be concerned with. But dating me does not give you the right, nor the privilege of your paranoia in my life. People pay me good money for that privilege!
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 111
Background checks??
Posted: 2/8/2010 5:15:48 AM
i'm with cj8rock.

nobody in this world can justify their actions better than a person who is paranoid and/or untrusting. because the only things they can ever trust is what's right in front of them (i.e., bleeding obvious). they have a very tenuous grasp, if any, on nuance and subtlety. not only do they not trust other people, but what's worse -- they can't even trust their own ability to trust other people. these are often the sort of people who are looking through your cell phone or your mail or your email account at various points along the way "just to be sure". the cosmic irony (or justice, if you will) is that so many of them seem to be subconsciously attracted to people who can't be trusted as far as you can spit a piano. and furthermore, the vast majority of people who cannot be trusted when it comes to relationships are not pedophiles or ax murderers, but people more like senator john edwards.... suave, sophisticated, respectable, accomplished, but who just can't muster up the intestinal fortitude to keep it in their pants. well, there's nothing illegal about being a f#cktard and a whore. where are you going to find that information?!?

i understand the mindset but sorry, not the kind of person i would personally care to date.
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 112
Background checks??
Posted: 2/8/2010 7:51:36 AM
I guess I don't think it's unreasonable for someone to run a background check on someone you meet from an internet dating site. This is someone you've never met, you have no way of knowing if they are what they say they are. It's a quick way to tell if you want to put the time into getting to know them. It doesn't mean that if someone has a clean background that you can throw caution to the winds.

I don't think this is paranoia. I see it as a wise precaution. And I see no reason to disclose to someone that you checked their background.
Joined: 12/20/2009
Msg: 113
Background checks??
Posted: 2/16/2010 3:16:19 PM
The first woman I dated off a dating site made the joke that my background check showed up clear. I thought it was a joke, and 3 weeks later, I saw it. 3 pages long of nothing.
Joined: 1/20/2010
Msg: 114
Background checks??
Posted: 2/18/2010 12:37:01 AM
Does anyone but me think it is just a little creepy to start running background checks on each other over the internet? What ever happened to observation, intuition, asking the person questions, and trust?

Whats next, checking their underwear drawer for illicit substances? Peeing in cups? DNA tests?

Hmmm, though a STD test would probably be acceptable BG check everyone can agree with....
 ~Azul Ojos~
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 115
Background checks??
Posted: 2/20/2010 10:33:19 PM

So what do you think would you freaked out if someone "googled" you before you ever met? Or am I behind the times and are people already doing this???

Yes, I think I would be freaked out if I thought someone had googled me... then again if if I Was feeling some kind of bad vibes about someone I might consider it... Then again, if I was having bad vibes........I don't think I would be meeting them.
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 116
Background checks??
Posted: 2/20/2010 10:35:47 PM
Nah if they want to google me go ahead. The only problem with googling someone is getting the right person I googled mys elf a while back and well there are 3 of me living in the same town on a little island of 9,000 people Not hardly..
The only true way to do a background check is to hire a professional and expect to be paying some big bucks.

First meet I am not going to waste my money...
Joined: 12/21/2007
Msg: 117
Background checks??
Posted: 2/20/2010 11:18:35 PM
it's scary how people can back ground check ya in seconds.
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 118
view profile
Background checks??
Posted: 2/21/2010 2:14:32 PM
Nothing wrong with Googling someone's name early on. Tracking down phone numbers, addresses, etc. may be a little creepy, however.

I find you can learn a lot by looking at someone's Facebook or Myspace. Employers do this all the time, and I think people who are dating should have that right too. After all, we're putting this information up for people to see--why get mad if someone sees it?

Last time I did this, I learned someone had a boyfriend. I asked them about it (maybe it was an out-of-date profile) and they confessed they were seeing someone. Think of all the time that could have been wasted, or the drama!

Nothing wrong with a quick internet search.
Joined: 2/16/2010
Msg: 119
Background checks??
Posted: 2/21/2010 4:29:30 PM

I think background checks are going overboard. Do you do a background check on every person you met at bar, bookstore etc. A potential murderer, rapist, married person looking to cheat etc could be anywhere.

I agree. IMO some people are overly paranoid.
Joined: 1/8/2009
Msg: 120
Background checks??
Posted: 2/22/2010 9:09:39 AM
Geez I had no idea that this whole background check thing even existed! I don't know how I feel about the idea of a woman doing a background check on me. I mean, I can understand if someone wants to know if the guy they are dating is married, but I don't want women I am dating to know how much money I make. Quite honestly, that's just creepy!
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