Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 cuter_than_anyone
Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 10
Would you date a married Person !!!Page 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
probably not. i think i have enough self confidence to go out and catch my own man

it never ends well anyway
 prolibertate
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 16
Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 11/1/2005 2:45:05 PM
No..however, if they've been separated for a good period of time (say a year or two), if they've already dated some others, and if they have the papers in the works, then it may be okay.
 DragonRider29
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 19
Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 11/1/2005 2:47:39 PM
No!!!!!!!!!!!
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 24
view profile
History
Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 11/3/2005 5:45:18 AM
No because husbands often have guns and displace their rage onto the wrong person.
 everywomanshero
Joined: 4/30/2005
Msg: 25
Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 11/3/2005 5:45:53 AM
If she's hot, yep. Guys if you have a hot wife, keep her away from me.

LOL
 TigerDuchess
Joined: 9/29/2005
Msg: 52
Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 11/3/2005 7:39:13 AM
Did the wife tell YOU that she has no interest in him? Or did he report that little "fact"? If she gave you her blessing, IN PERSON, the next step is for you to figure out what YOU want from a relationship with him. Are you relieved at the idea that he won't want to move in with you? Do you just want an occasional roll in the hay? Do you want emotional nurturing from him?

I have actually met couples who were married but platonic and actually happy for a spouse to date outside the marriage. HOWEVER, most such cases have some real emotional issues and drama going on behind the scenes and the spouse is not capable of giving sane emotional support to the girl/boy friend. It always ended in tears and lots of sturm und drang.

Best of luck to all involved.
 TigerDuchess
Joined: 9/29/2005
Msg: 58
Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 11/3/2005 8:15:33 AM
Yah, see, that's the sort of drama I was talking about. Now the question becomes, why is he staying with her? And are you going to become his emotional "caretaker" when he stays in what is effectively an abusive marriage? There is no right or wrong answer on that...it comes down to what is going to be best for YOU if he is beyond "rescuing".

The ONLY "marriage of convenience" I know of where everybody was sane, level-headed, etc. was one in which they had started to amicably split (both agreeing that they made better friends than lovers) and then discovered that she had a treatable cancer. They postponed separation and divorce so she would still have insurance coverage and someone living with her to help out as caretaker during chemo. They've since moved on, divorced, split up the household goods, found other romantic relationships, but remain good friends.
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 69
view profile
History
Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 12/12/2005 9:09:19 PM
nope.
'cause i want someone who is emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually open to me~
as i would want to be for them.
any person still involved is well, still involved...
how confusing and frustrating is THAT?
too confusing and painful, as far as i'm concerned.
really, isn't there is enough in life to be naturally confused and/or frustrated about;
why knowingly complicate things for any of the individuals involved?
even in cases of extreme anger or thinking every stone unturned in trying to work things out
sometimes isn't as it appears. two conflicted people in a marraige; thats a hell of a lot of emotional, mental and spiritual warfare going on, times two.

this is an interesting post; reading others ideas and perceptions,
causing me to reflect on past situations and decisions i have been faced with.

i remember years ago; attempting a reconcilliation with my then spouse after a 3 year separation. i'd left him to save my own self and had never even allowed myself to think of our getting back together. at the time, he seemed to feel and think the same; but as we were still both very hurt we weren't really honestly communicating throughout that three years except through our separate attorneys. he'd even been living with another woman for over a year when very suddenly he called me to ask about how the divorce was proceeding on my end. i responded by asking him to contact his attorney for that information; i wasn't up for another arguement with him.
when out of the blue he asked me a very simple question, was i happy?
i was startled and stopped to really think about it, and no, i actually wasn't, and admitted so. i couldn't foresee what he asked next, "what the hell are we doing this for?"
we'd only seen each other four times in three years and he explained it hurt him to see me because he still loved me and it hurt him to even just see me, physically.
then he asked me to please reconsider my leaving him and think of our getting back together.
this, after that long apart and even divorce proceedings had been ongoing.
my curiosity got the best of me. i decided to call the other woman to see what had been going on with them, for him to ask me these things at that point.

when i spoke to her; she broke down, fell apart and cried her heart out to me. through her tears she apologised; she told me she knew it was wrong to get involved with him because he was still a married man; living in separate states, even stated she knew he still loved me, and that it was clear to her that he always would. i will never ever forget the pain i heard in that poor woman's broken words and tears. she told me if i had any love at all for this man that she knew in her heart that he and i belonged together & owed it to one another to work things out in our marriage.
while our reconcilliation involved me leaving a great job and travelling overseas to be with him
it was not to be, and that time together lasted three and a half months. when i made the decision to leave him again, it wasn't an easy one.
relationships can be more than complex; and people may want, expect or demand different things and ideals. we're all adult here enough to know that even the best of relationships can take work, and some still fail though no fault of the other, or no matter how much time, effort or care is taken by both.
we must all make and decide our own choices; and live with them too.

just last month my ex of eight years asked me to fly to the east coast and meet with him because he wanted to
"see and talk" with me, and he was flying in for work from europe where he now lives.
i had to decline; as he is a re-married man now and while he states he isn't happy;
he belongs to another. it's that simple. to have met him would only complicate hers, mine, and his lives. and to what end?!
i cannot be the other woman.
i will not be the other.
i can and will only be me.
i expect nothing but the honesty, integrity and respect i give another;
i don't want or need anything less, for myself and any man i choose to be with.
 md99
Joined: 11/18/2005
Msg: 78
Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 12/13/2005 9:12:58 PM
Yes I would. I think it puts a whole different level of excitement in it all. What if they both are married and needing something to complete it all. Balance it out. LIFE and PASSION.
 triplebp
Joined: 10/6/2005
Msg: 80
view profile
History
Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 12/13/2005 10:30:59 PM
What's the point????

Hey scarlett that's funny I matched yours by accident. I'm lookin up at ya.
 that sam i am
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 83
Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 4/3/2007 7:30:02 AM
been there, done that, got the emotional scars to prove it.
 RealLife4
Joined: 9/26/2006
Msg: 84
Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 4/3/2007 7:32:21 AM
Yes and married them after
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 94
view profile
History
Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 4/4/2007 2:47:47 PM
would i date a married person?

ummmmmmm, NO.
 MB58SC
Joined: 2/1/2007
Msg: 99
Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 4/5/2007 12:06:38 PM
I'm almost disturbed by the question.
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 114
view profile
History
Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 4/5/2007 4:55:55 PM
right, drg, i completely agree with ya.
 Karl the Hermit
Joined: 3/31/2007
Msg: 120
view profile
History
Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 4/5/2007 7:49:47 PM
Not no but HELL NO!

I did have two instances in my distant past. One was a sexual encounter with a married woman, and the other was a 3-month relationship with a separated woman of one of my friends. Never again. Bad karma, man, bad karma.

At this point, I refuse to date and/or have sexual relations with: married women, engaged women, single women who live under the same roof as their bf, single women in the midst of a committed relationship, and separated women.

Other than that, it's open season...
 eb3267
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 121
Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 4/5/2007 7:55:13 PM
Is with Fupped..

Hell no, had it done to me, never walked in on it, TG, but my Daughter got to see Daddy kissing some other chick.. Nice guy eh ? F*CK'N *sshole !!
He hadn't even moved out of the house or informed me that he wanted to be "free"

Have I screwed around on him, NO, and he was in the navy, he left me alone plenty, for months at a time..
 curiousteddy
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 123
view profile
History
Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 4/5/2007 8:11:35 PM
Easier said than done. People cannot help who they are attracted to. When you get to know someone and there is something about them that you are attracted to, the ability think rationally disappears irrespective if the other person is a criminal, a junkie let alone married.

If you have not been through this then morality and ethics will guide your thoughts and feelings.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >