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 EastSideEddie
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 51
Women at Pubs by ThemselvesPage 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

what would you think when you see an "obviously" single older women in a pub?


I think that it's 2006, that there's no stigma attached to a woman being in a bar by herself anymore and hasn't been for maybe 35 years, and that she might be thirsty.
 Fab_ricated
Joined: 10/20/2006
Msg: 52
Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/30/2006 6:20:47 AM
Personally,who cares what they think....I started going to a place similar to what you desribe and because I have such odd work hours,usually couldn't find anyone willing to go with me...so I went alone a few times...Have made many friends since then

Sure,at first...every guy in the joint is thinking "fresh meat"!!! But after going a few times,they realized that I wasn't there to be picked up...I was only their for socializing and now the bartendress is a good friend and I have made many friends with the people that go there for the same reason...to blow off some steam

IMO,who cares what anybody else thinks? You know why you're there,so their opinion doesn't matter
 Sparklin
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 53
Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/30/2006 6:33:42 AM
I have a local bar by me that I first started going to with friends about 12 years ago. A lot of the people have changed but I know the owner and the bartender so it's a comfortable place to go. I could care less what some of the newcomers think!!
 Blossom65
Joined: 9/26/2006
Msg: 54
Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/30/2006 3:29:35 PM
Well Rain, you post an interesting thread indeed!!! Why is it that it is completely acceptable for a dude to be sitting in the bar by himself chatting with other people, no one looks twice, but when it is a chick doing that, she is either desperate to get laid, easy, or yes, the obvious bar slut. I hate to say it, but my thoughts immediately would be "cougar"!
 Dog Mommy
Joined: 7/11/2005
Msg: 55
Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/30/2006 4:31:27 PM
I think it's a shame how society views a man alone in a bar as acceptable, and a woman alone as unacceptable...in this country anyways
 wrangling-cowgirl
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 56
Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 2/10/2007 6:03:11 PM
I have walked into pubs/bars alone with intentions of meeting friends for drinks,eventually after sitting or standing around for quite some time,I ended meeting new aquaintances who I now call friends.
As far as being looked at in a negative way I think it's all on how you as an individual conduct yourself.You act like a lady you'll be treated as such!
I after so much time became known as one of the regulars,and the lady who dresses stylish,as well as the bars fav dancer on the floor.
Alot of times people assumed I was with the band.
The bartender never had to ask what i was drinking!It felt like cheers.
I never sit up at the bar though,usually table or booth,which today becomes reserved for me upon entering.




I LOVE THIS BAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 halifax_sadie
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 57
Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 2/10/2007 6:17:59 PM
I've done it more this year than ever before, going to the pub on my own. And I have to say that it still makes me uncomfortable. I am a confident, intelligent woman who is never at a loss for words. I can make conversation with pretty much anyone. But I find that consistently, the men I meet when I'm by myself tend to assume I'm there to 'pick up'.

All of my girlfriends have become attached or otherwise occupied this year, and it means that if I want to go listen to a band? I often have to go it alone. There was an huge intimidation factor for me the first time, and it's gotten a little bit easier each time, but it's still unpleasant. I love being there, and listening to the music, but I HATE having to deal with the creeps that assume I'm there for the express reason of taking their creepy self home with me. And quite often, 'Thanks, but I'm just here to listen to the band' isn't enough. It's why I always sit at the bar...that way, the bartender usually keeps an eye on me. :) It means my glass is usually full, and the bouncers have my back!

Just my 2 cents. Your mileage may vary.
 Sigi
Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 58
Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 2/10/2007 6:18:35 PM

what would you think when you see an "obviously" single older women in a pub?


Please....define this one for me ....."obviously" and "older".....
 serendipiteee
Joined: 5/30/2006
Msg: 59
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History
Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 2/10/2007 6:26:39 PM
rain-city,
Does it matter if they judge you? Seriously, who cares? Then again, I go to Wally World in sweats, a t-shirt and sandals with no makeup. Oh, the horror of it!

I haven't done it in ages, but used to on occasion, swing by the neighborhood watering hole or country dance club for a drink or two and maybe a dance or seven. It's fun to meet new people, you never know who you might run into (in a good way, not a psycho way!). If somone bugs you, tell them to get lost and if you aren't having fun, LEAVE!

Don't give your phone number to someone you've just met, offer to meet them there another time and see where it goes. I've never felt unsafe in one of those venues, but if I did, it would be easy enough to ask someone to walk me to my car.

Double standard
 mistifyme
Joined: 12/26/2006
Msg: 60
Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 2/10/2007 7:09:35 PM
I will only go to bars where I know the staff. I dont' get much time away from my young children and when I can I like to go out and have some adult conversation. I am not looking to be picked up at all! I just want to socialize, have a couple****ails, and go home alone. IT helps going to a place where I am friends with the bartenders, servers and such as we can chat when there isn't anyone else to talk to. :) Having been a bartender for years I can relate to the work they do as well so appreciate when they take the time to chat.

Oh and if there isn't a place to sit at the bar I just belly up! LOL I am used to standing for hours on end! :)
 BearGal
Joined: 1/15/2007
Msg: 61
Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 2/10/2007 8:09:13 PM
Just for arguments sake ?? If you are just going for fun Dress way down. Be very selective with who you make eye contact. ( this is starting to sound like you need a burka) have friends or at least locals that have seen you before.
Do NOT get drunk!! Honestly, this 2007, many women travel for business. They not only have a drink but actually eat alone in a hotel bar/ foodie place. You are in charge of your own movie. aka life. There will always be fools that want to call you a name that fits their sick fantasies. It's your choice. Act like a lady and be treated as one. Or.... ??? You have every right to go where you want , when you want.
 BearGal
Joined: 1/15/2007
Msg: 62
Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 2/10/2007 8:17:02 PM
PS. carry pepper spray and get trained on how and when to use it. Instincts are great . but ... If you live in a big city .. things can and do happen. be careful always.

I have survived 3 attacks. I ad my wits about me. I had a broken nose , I was scared shi*less. I lived and was not raped. The bar thing is safer than you might think. Day to day stuff is when you are caught off guard.

Be present, always.
 asweet1974
Joined: 10/18/2005
Msg: 63
Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 2/10/2007 8:17:40 PM
[I have gone into bars/ pubs by myself, not with the intention of wanting to find action, but just to stop in and relax no big deal, I am a big girl, and I can go into one all alone,I really don't care what people think, I know I am not a slut,or cougar, or whatever you want to label me........and YA I walk to the bathroom on my own to use it when I go with a group of friends, I don't need a girl pal to follow me in....I think its ok to be confident and comfortable in your own skin, if no one can accept that, then they have a problem, not the single woman....this isn't sex in the city for all women. (Oh maybe my case works because I don't drink...hmmmmmm)]

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Yeah what she said^^^^^^

I bartended in a small town for years, I have no problem going into bars by myself. I even would go into some small pubs/bars in Indianapolis (not from where I live) by myself also. They are bars that I have friends who work at or own and they watch my back. HOWEVER, I won't go to dance clubs where there are a lot of people at alone...OH NEVER.
 BearGal
Joined: 1/15/2007
Msg: 64
Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 2/10/2007 8:25:30 PM
Sadie,
Love your " country" and Town.. Lucky Girl you have some Great music to listen to.

Chatting folks up is great , I enjoy that as well. I have found dressing down to the point of "un make up" and a hat or anything that might turn off any comers works wonders. Folks will still chat you up but may think twice about bedding you ?

What do you have to prove ?
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 65
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Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 2/10/2007 9:03:05 PM
i actually think this varies from place to place. here in the states? yea, a woman alone in a bar is often thought to be looking for a pick up. in ireland? no way, lotsa people go to pubs and they are not pick up joints the way bars in the US are. etc...

anyhow, i would probably not go to a pub alone because if i am going out by myself it is probably because i have a writing project i'm working on, and i need light and coffee :-) as opposed to the dim lighting of most bars and as opposed to booz. i often go to cafes and would almost always find myself in that type of venue as opposed to a bar or pub.
 CrazyDiamond97
Joined: 12/21/2006
Msg: 66
Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 2/12/2007 11:59:31 AM
Well said, Mari - I have no problem going to pubs alone, either. (Fancy you finding one with Kiwis in it - hahaha). Anyway - in all of those countries you mentioned - especially NZ and England - it was a common practise - we didn't think anything of it - Do you remember the Ladies Lounge? For the most part, our husbands/boyfriends would likely turn up later. Then there's the Darts Teams - women and men alike belonged. It wasn't until I came to America that I found out there is a stigma attached to single women who go to pubs alone. I refused to take on that pressure and stigmatize myself. There's a huge difference between a single lady going into a pub alone, and a single 'tart' going into a pub alone. It's blatantly obvious to me, so I'm guessing it's pretty damned obvious to the blokes who are in there and just happen to know which ones to hit on. I say 'piffle' to a man who will lable me a (what do you call it? a slut/whore?) - I prefer tart/harlot! - Whoa betide him if he calls me that to my face - he's likely to wear a # 6 1/2 boot right up his fundamental orifice!
 CrazyDiamond97
Joined: 12/21/2006
Msg: 67
Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 2/12/2007 12:02:34 PM
If you want a drink and you're out, stop off for a pint....why not? If you're single and you want to get laid, go out and get a drink....why not? Guys don't have to justify why they go into a bar alone, why should you?


WELL SAID!!!!!!!


 SouthCarolina45
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 68
Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 2/12/2007 12:40:39 PM
I go out to clubs/bars by myself - every so often and I usually get asked "what are you doing here alone?" or "I can't believe you are here by yourself" For the last 25 years, I have replied with the same answer. Guess what? It's ok now, they have passed a new law and women can now go to bars alone! Works like charm. Most of the time it is fun, but sometimes you do get strange looks, if I get that I just go to another bar/club.
 Ravager
Joined: 2/1/2004
Msg: 69
Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 2/12/2007 2:35:28 PM
I don't like hanging out in bars by myself very often, so I usually just wonder, "Where are her friends?" and that's about it.

Unless she is loaded and making passes at every guy that walks by, then I think something else.
 PickyProfessional
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 70
Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 2/12/2007 7:47:29 PM
i have absolutely no qualms about going to a bar by myself. in fact, i prefer it. a gaggle of women together screams insecurity and "we can't wait to be hit on." i feel a single woman at a bar is showing her independence and free-to-be-me attitude. i feel like most men feel in that regard. if i wanna go to a bar, then i do. i often stop off for happy hour on my way home from work at a seafood place near my house. good food, a relaxing drink, and a lot of fun people-watching (maybe even some good music too).
 anyonereal?
Joined: 11/30/2006
Msg: 71
Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 2/17/2007 7:37:42 AM
ya know, i have no problem going to a bar alone....and it's not because i'm looking to drag something outta there. it's usually because i'm in the mood for a beer, or a crowd of people watching a football game or some karaoke. yea, i have friends i can do this with, but most of them prefer to stay home instead of going out, and when i do take them with me, i worry if they are enjoying themselves, but going out alone...only person i have to worry about having a good time is me. and i've met some really cool people out alone too. i recently moved to alabama from the dallas area, and go to a local pub to watch my cowboys play. actually ran into someone from dallas that have never met, but we know a lot of the same people and hung out at a lot of the same places. had a whole lot more fun watching the game with a fellow fan than at home alone. ya know, us women enjoy kicking back and drinking a few too. it's not the 50s anymore...
 allsmiles24f6ce
Joined: 4/30/2006
Msg: 72
Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 2/17/2007 7:52:40 AM
That's funny when I look at it that way. I never realized that I might be perceived as a slut at first glance. I like to go to bars when there is karaoke, 'cause I like to sing. I'll go right up to the bar and plop next to anyone where there is room...What can ya do? Find a seat! Guys used to hit on me a lot, but it's not bad anymore....You see, the trick is, don't go dressed like a slut. I go in the plainclothes I was wearing all day, and I go with confidence. If a person seems cool to talk to and hang out with guy/girl, I hang out...and I leave it at that...and I don't spent any time looking at other people and wonder why they are there...I don't care why...not my business. I'm 25, I have no fear, and I am there to drink and sing, and perhaps make a new friend.....
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 73
Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 2/17/2007 8:05:28 AM
I go where I wish to go, probably 90% of the time there is going to be a band or DJ whom I already KNOW playing. Of course this is also pretty much small town or neighborhood establishments. I don't care what anyone else thinks, and I can't recall ever having any sort of problem that I couldn't deal with myself. Of course in that setting it HELPS to look like you could benchpress a 1958 Chrysler...
Cindy O
 SWEETIE237
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 74
Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 2/17/2007 10:58:21 AM
I personally don't like to go to bars by myself anymore.All I attract r users n losers or lesbians.I mean,come on.Do I look gay?? My assumption is n from personal experience is that if a woman or even in some cases a man is alone in a bar.It could mean they r very lonely,desperate n vulnerable n an easy target.But that's just my opinion.I just stay away from bars.Most people r there to just get laid n nothing more.
 BearGal
Joined: 1/15/2007
Msg: 75
Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 2/17/2007 12:10:02 PM
What does gay look like ?
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