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 annasthasia
Joined: 5/4/2005
Msg: 426
And if she sleeps with you on the first date?Page 18 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
@saxatilis

You expressed my thoughts exactly...

Wish you lived closer!
 thatclassicsguy
Joined: 10/9/2007
Msg: 427
And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/24/2007 10:51:42 PM
Don't ever do It. I don't care who she Is you don't get that personal with a stranger!
 Fernando Gomez
Joined: 6/22/2007
Msg: 428
And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/25/2007 7:33:30 PM
Not true..I married a woman only 3 months after having sex on the first date. It only lasted six years but the passion was great, sex every night and 3times on sunday. Too bad she was crazy and had to be let go..lol
 islgurl
Joined: 10/22/2005
Msg: 429
And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/25/2007 8:16:24 PM

I think what two adults do on the first date is their business and its all in the mind -
its a perception thing - noone wans to be seen as a slut or stud - but if the chemistry is there then its an opportunity wasted as long as theres follow up - nothing worse than not hearing from them again afterwards.

but lets be honest about this does it really matter first date, second or tenth date - no. why are we all in such denial of why we are here? and what we want in a relationship -
we want it all including sex for god sake. personally im not looking for a bloody library partner to just read books with. lol - and neither are most members on here.
just both be honest that nature will either take over or not. end of - it doesnt have to be complex - we are all sexual beings and want and need love and intimacy too and someone to trust with the sensitive and fragile parts of us. x


Well..hands up!
DAYUM!!! sax..so far away..AND so, ummm, handsome! AND...so well said!!
 islgurl
Joined: 10/22/2005
Msg: 430
And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/25/2007 8:28:42 PM
Have to add...as an old beotch who has been around awhile....

WHY the double-standard???
Just do not "get that"?

Men can meet, greet, and then F#@K, and it's OK.
Women? Have to put the guy off to avoid the "slut-factor"???
They then "play the game"...and the guys fall for it? HUH?
I don't get it?
What happened to Honesty?!

Guys say they aren't as "into" women who have sex the first few dates?
Yet they claim that is a turn on?
I am so confused?
The men who say this want someone sexual. Yet not then and there? So..when?
The first date. Tenth? When?
Women are confused. We are sexual, passionate...BUT we are supposed to be restrained, or
if not, we are labeled.... "SLUTS".

GUYS! Figure out what you REALLY want????
 SPECIALLADY28
Joined: 10/23/2006
Msg: 431
And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/25/2007 8:39:19 PM
islgurl guys are not going to give you the answer to that. Its a secret. lol they like confusing us so we keep trying to understand them. Men say the same about us too. What does Slut mean anyway and why are only women sluts?
 islgurl
Joined: 10/22/2005
Msg: 432
And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/25/2007 8:53:34 PM
Funny...Frankly..have not heard that term "slut" since maybe the 60's-70's...seems it has just raised it's ugly head in the 2007's? Weird.
That term was an intentional "put-down" used by insecure women, AND insecure men...guess they are all back????

Po guys. And gals.
 SPECIALLADY28
Joined: 10/23/2006
Msg: 433
And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/25/2007 8:54:52 PM
Okay here is websters definition of Slut.

Slut is a term for a person who is deemed sexually promiscuous. The term has traditionally been applied to women and is often used as an insult or offensive term of disparagement.

Gee isn't that interesting. Traditionally applied to who???.... hmmm.... oh yeah women. Why is that? Anybody care to explain this?
 darkcloud
Joined: 11/20/2005
Msg: 434
And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/25/2007 9:47:32 PM
wouldn't you call it a great date?
 GentleCanuck
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 435
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History
And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/26/2007 2:15:48 AM

What are you thinking of her then. Is it so hard to please a guy? You want to know that we had a good time on the date. If we did and we show you that we did, in this manner, you then think we are not worth the time or effort anymore. Why can't we just simply have sex with you the first night and more after that. Now if we held out on the first night you would call us some kind of tease but if we do you.... you don't apperciate it. WTF?


I respect women who sleep with me on the first date. Most of my relationships started with sex on the first date.

If a guy will not respect a women who sleeps with him on a first date, he is a hypocrite. After all, he has sex on the first date, so why can't she?
 funnymichael
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 436
And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/26/2007 5:43:11 PM
I personally am not inclined to stay with a girl that I slept with on the first date. Not for a LTR at least. (Though I did make "friends with bennies" one time with a woman like that for 2 1/2 years.) I feel like when a woman puts out on the first date that all she wants is either a one night stand or friends with benefits. I have NEVER gotten the vibe that they wanted a serious relationship after sleeping with me on the first date. It is to my experience that the woman looking for the LTR really IS NOT going to put out on the first date. And any woman that feels that way, for whatever her reasons may be, they should be respected if they don't want to put out. My impression is that they have already "been there/done that" with other men perhaps and are ready to move on to something more enriching in their lives. You can't be f*ck buddies forever. And sometime in your life you want to just be with someone who is your best friend and your lover. And knowing that you can do that WITHOUT sex is one of the most beautiful gifts in life there is. PLUS there is the element of a heightened excitement and anticipation when a man waits for sex. I had NO PROBLEMS what-so-ever telling my present girlfriend that I would wait to have sex. I felt that in her personality ALONE she was worth giving the respect to. And my past experience tought me one other time that it was better to wait when you found something great. I lost a real sweetheart one time because I let the wrong head take charge. With my present girlfriend, I wasn't letting that happen twice. I couldn't afford to make the same mistake twice. And I let her know it too. She was very reseptive and kind to my feelings. And we both waited until it felt right for BOTH OF US. There was no one-sidedness about it. And it was DEFINATELY worth the wait. I also feel that if you meet someone who really excites you, you should take the time to get to know that person. Sex can cloud so many things. Sex can make things awkward too sometimes. I didn't want sex to cloud the newfound joy I had. I wanted to know her for who she was as a person. And the reward was greater than the definition of life in itself. So unless your still in your "experimental stages" ,or your still "sowing your oats", make that guy wait. And TELL HIM YOUR TRUE FEELINGS ABOUT WHY! You will learn ALOT about his character. He will be interested in YOU or YOUR SEX. How you carry and present yourself, as well as HIS respect for your feelings will determine the future of your new discovery in another human being. That is the bottom line as I know it. And casual sex, as I know it, is a dime a dozen. It isn't hard to some by. And it has a completely different meaning and feeling than discovering sex with someone you are very fond of.
 cinderella23
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 437
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History
And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/27/2007 9:42:21 AM
Well you are right, you are damned if you do and you are damed if you don't. I can say I did one time because I was feeling some chemistry and is a way to get to know someone. But heres one for ya. In getting to know someone and having the sex you find out that ......um a.... that its not so good. Men are always so quick to judge, and when they are lacking in one department they really shouldn't be so quick to judge. Now I am not bashing just making a statement that women have needs and wants too So as you may have figured out from this post, I slept with him found out that is was not good in the sex department and never spoke to him again. Just like I am sure there are a few men out there that have slept with woman on the first date and never called them again, which makes me wonder was that all they wanted? Hmmmmmmmmmmm
 WhereForArtThou
Joined: 5/13/2007
Msg: 438
And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/27/2007 11:13:07 AM
I have never, and will never, sleep with a man on the first date. I will sound like a catty old hag on this one, but I don't think sex is part of a date. Sex is part of a hook up or a booty call. A date is a little more reserved and impersonal.
 1sexything
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 439
And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/27/2007 12:06:46 PM
Well Sax said it all. whoooooooooo hooooooooooo
 forums1
Joined: 5/14/2007
Msg: 440
And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/27/2007 3:34:07 PM
Is it so hard to please a guy? You want to know that we had a good time on the date. If we did and we show you that we did, in this manner, you then think we are not worth the time or effort anymore. Why can't we just simply have sex with you the first night and more after that. Now if we held out on the first night you would call us some kind of tease but if we do you.... you don't apperciate it.


Hmm, why does that sound like she's having sex with the guy to "win appreciation" or "win his affection", rather than "because she enjoys it"?? To let him "know that we had a good time on the date" (there's not other ways to do that, like a good long kiss and saying you'd like to see them again?). Sounds a heck of a lot like "I'll sleep with him in the hopes that it'll win him over and he'll want more" - which is manipulative and loaded with expectations.

News flash, we're not here to meet your expectations. Perhaps the real story is that you had sex, but from your attitude he picked up on the fact that you were loading up the 'date' with your expectations of it becoming 'more', when you hardly know each other?
 Strait4ward
Joined: 10/12/2007
Msg: 441
And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/27/2007 7:55:26 PM
Hhmmm, saxatalis--it seems you are confusing love and intimacy with sex. Not the same basket of fruit. And can you really trust a stranger with the sensitive and fragile parts of yourself. Ahem--but maybe you are just speaking of certain body parts--not emotions. And, oh yes--we are all human beings (with sexuality). The notion of being a sexual being kind of sounds like that is a person's ultimate focus........which of course would make them 'be'have as a sexual being.
 Strait4ward
Joined: 10/12/2007
Msg: 442
And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/27/2007 7:58:00 PM
So, I am wondering, Fernando--what part of that 3 months or 6 years could have helped you know she was crazy before the marriage. But, maybe the great sex was worth it?
 echo*
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 443
And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/28/2007 7:55:14 AM
Comes down to the good old double standard. I wouldn't want to hear from a cluck like that again anyway. Needs to grow up and get real.
 Dharma88
Joined: 9/25/2007
Msg: 444
And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 11/4/2007 7:01:37 AM
Very true! The ONLY reason anyone thinks there is anything wrong with sex on the first, or second, or tenth date, or before marriage, is because our society has a large part of its foundation in religious/moralistic "If it feels good it is wrong" thinking, which is ridiculous. Sex is a pleasure, a stress-reliever that is about the most fun two people can have. If a woman sleeps with a guy she is attracted to and feels comfortable with, there is NOTHING wrong with that regardless of how long they have been seeing each other, 5 minutes or 5 years. It is entirely up to each individual to do with what they are confortable with, and noone else has any business judging them. That's it. End of story. Ans as far as someone thinking less of you because you had sex with them - in addition to essene being absolutly right that that is someone you probably don't want to be in a relatioship with anyway - um - I am pretty sure if you slept with them they slept with you too. So that double-standardizing ass needs to turn the light of judgement back on themself. And when you loook at the range o0f behaviors - everything from multiple partners at the same time, S&M, B&D to only having sex in marriage, who is to judge? Where is the line where a person with certain preferences gets to judge everyone else? Who is to say what is "right" and what is "wrong" for anyone else? That is the beginning of a path that ends in a fascist state. I don't mean to get all political, but NO FORM of judgement or censorship should be tolerated. ANd when the thumpers come a-thumong, well, there are a couple of other interesting bible quotes I like to throw about:
"Judge not, lest ye be judged."
"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

'Nuff - and in fact probably too much - said.
 bitocountry
Joined: 6/27/2007
Msg: 445
And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 11/21/2007 9:24:10 PM
You may be on to something there ,regarding women giving men the big ego boost to satisfy their needs. Isee it as good for both women & men as now two sexual needs are being satisfied.
I have a question though. I have been single for 6 plus years & have met with a good number of women over coffee, a meal, drinks etc. I have only met 2 women out of perhaps 80 that they didn't end their relationship. Is this just a trend or have times changed to the degree where men are unable to satisfy women in long term marriage?
 SparkintheDark
Joined: 8/2/2006
Msg: 446
And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 12/15/2007 9:29:09 AM
I would NEVER sleep with a man on a first date. And to the moron who said it didn't matter what date it was? Ok, maybe for YOU, it doesn't matter, but for some of us, it does.

I am a very sexual person, but I want my sex life, to be safe, and I want to share it with someone... I LOVE and care about, and vice versa. I don't want to sleep with some schmuck, who is never going to call me again, and write me off like I mean nothing. Sex is something I hold a little more sacred then that. Also, to be honest, the world is not the kind of place it was in the 70's buddy. Ever hear of herpes? How about HPV? When you can't talk to someone about those things... you are playing russian roulette. I understand that even people in LTR relationships LIE, but the chances are smaller, then with some person you just met, and are running off to f**k.

I honestly do not understand how some people think. Sex is wonderful... and for me, sex is AWESOME, when it's with someone I can trust, be close with, and talk to. And for me, that stuff isn't present with a STRANGER.
 jennifer1064
Joined: 4/28/2007
Msg: 447
And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 12/15/2007 9:43:34 AM
I make it clear that there will be no sex on the first date...and probably not for a while. This is also a screening process. If he disappears (and they do) then I know our goals are not on the same page and good riddance. A "gentleman" who really likes the lady and wants her to feel safe and comfortable will have no problem...

 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 448
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History
And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 12/15/2007 9:48:04 AM
My friend slept with a guy she met on here on the first date.
They had talked on the phone for a couple of days, IM'd etc.
They met for dinner, he swept her off her feet. Totally charmed her.
She was so caught up she had sex with him that night.
Then she found out afterwards he'd peeled off the condom and gone bareback. The next day he told her he didn't want to hear from him again. Called her a pig.
Then he proceeded to post about his successes to others. She found his posts and was quite upset to find out he was not only seeing other women, but that he bragged about doing a hooker just a few hours before he did her. (Not even a shower in between)
Oh yeah, that guy is still on POF too.
 ~curlygirl~
Joined: 4/22/2006
Msg: 449
And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 12/15/2007 8:29:47 PM
It's not what she did with me, it is what she did with other guys

and unless you only date virgins, another guy's already been where you've been (or want to be with her)...so wtf does it really matter? if she's funny, interesting, and your type why would you throw her away over this? if you do, then you're a shortsighted fool and she could do better!
 deaniemandel
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 450
And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 12/16/2007 2:30:40 AM
ha we are all a bunch of hipocrits.. sleep witha guy on your first date,, either means your adventurous, a straight up hoochie, or drunk and missing adventure, and thats the best way you can find it.. guys that wont respect a girl that does that have little respect for a girl anyway and should be treated like the pigs they are... i slept with my girlfirend on our first date and we have been going strong for a year now
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