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 softballbabe
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 26
Friends with Benefits..good or badPage 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
As long as both parties are completely honest with eachother. No unrealistic expectations, and everyone is on the same page..then its all goooood!!!!

I have had a couple of rather long ongoing fwb relationships on seperate occasions of course. They were great, I had lots of friends to go out with, always on the go....didn't need a boyfriend to do things. However, at the end of a night out with the girls, always nice to know I could go to someone safe and secure and get all my needs taken care of. Definatly better then picking up someone random!
 Tuff Roxy
Joined: 10/12/2005
Msg: 27
Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/19/2006 12:56:42 PM
No, they are not good!! Feelings always end up hurt, whether it be you or your partner. It's not worth it most of the time.

I want 1 at a time and thats it! I don't want to share at all!
 GoodKittyGoneBad
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 28
Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 6/16/2006 12:24:55 PM
It's good for my lifestyle. The tricky part is indeed not falling in love, but I have learned many years back, that even if you do fall in love, it's not that hard to keep it to yourself and just enjoy the feeling while it lasts (it always leaves eventually). I prefer FWBs over traditional relationships because of the flexibility....All of the fun without all the hassle!

I must make mention that I never do FWBs with an established friend...no friendship is worth ruining over sex. And the "friend with benefits" lable is just a polite way of saying "f*ck buddy", it really has nothing to do with true friendship, although I have had some great friendships evolve during and after the sexual aspect of the relationship.
 Fluffy Handcuffs
Joined: 6/2/2006
Msg: 29
Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 6/16/2006 12:27:09 PM
Friends with benefits? always good - ONLY as long as you have the right attitude going into it!
 who_the_fox
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 30
Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 6/16/2006 2:01:21 PM
THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:

1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it
in the morning.

2. No meeting in public

3. No calls - we don't have shit to talk about.

4. None of that "lovemaking" crap - only sex allowed.

5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do
you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask.

6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup,"
unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced
arrangement.

7. No gifts accepted -

8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.

9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of
your damn business.

10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends,
just sex buddies.

11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.

12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind
when you leave.

13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up,
get dressed and go the f^ck home.

14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.

15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.

16. No one will ask who you are as no one will ever see you.

17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less I like it like that.

19. No condoms, no F^ucking. Carry your ass home.

20. No drinking

21. No phone use- you're over to do a job

22. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes ME -- so don't keep calling.
 who_the_fox
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 31
Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 6/18/2006 8:11:10 PM
The problem is the "friends" part is hard to find and generally people say FWB when they are really talking about a booty call.
 who_the_fox
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 32
Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 6/18/2006 9:02:46 PM
^^^ I agree totally. Is exactly how I would break it down.
 andiedandie
Joined: 9/24/2005
Msg: 33
Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 6/18/2006 9:03:48 PM
well.... been there done that... FWB... isn't where its at... sure the sex is good...cause you figure you're gettin it regularily or at least more then you would if you weren't FWB... but... haven't met many people of either sex...that have ever truly found that it works...and no one gets hurt, mislead or whatever... If they dont' want to be in a committed relationship.....and fluck their freinds but date other people...they likely never will committ to you....

my 2 cents...converted to american...is nada!! lol
 who_the_fox
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 34
Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 6/18/2006 9:44:20 PM

sure the sex is good...cause you figure you're gettin it regularily or at least more then you would if you weren't FWB... but... haven't met many people of either sex...that have ever truly found that it works...and no one gets hurt, mislead or whatever... If they dont' want to be in a committed relationship.....and fluck their freinds but date other people...they likely never will committ to you....


I think the thing to remember is that there is NO chance that FWB will ever be a "committed relationship". It is for people who don't want to commit for some reason or where the "friend" has some fatal flaw rendering them unsuitable as a "real" partner ( ie newly seperated). I don't see anything wrong with it, if both people understand what the program is from Day One
 andiedandie
Joined: 9/24/2005
Msg: 35
Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 6/18/2006 9:44:54 PM
Your right ohdriver...however... agreements...even with FWB can be broken and often are because there isn't a true sincere committment where each person truly cares for that person... they usually are there for selfish reasons...both friends...

Most people that are in marriages take their vows and committments much more seriously then someone that is single and is a FWB
 who_the_fox
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 36
Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 6/18/2006 9:49:52 PM

Your right ohdriver...however... agreements...even with FWB can be broken and often are because there isn't a true sincere committment where each person truly cares for that person... they usually are there for selfish reasons...both friends...

Most people that are in marriages take their vows and committments much more seriously then someone that is single and is a FWB


Obviously, you never met my husbands.
 Adria3
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 37
Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 4/10/2007 2:42:04 PM
I've only experienced one FWB in my life, that was just a really nice experience. We both respected each other, enjoyed each others company, but both knew we were not into a relationship with each other.. I sometimes miss him in fact, but as soon as I was interested in another, it stopped dead in it's tracks.. I can see how if one person has feelings more then just friends, that is where the problems start. It can be done though if both people are honest, and know where the other stands..
 sherness
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 38
Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 4/10/2007 3:12:14 PM
Friends with benefits...do they have dental, vision care and drug plans???

This is such a touchy subject (ok pun slightly intended ). It is really difficult to want to breach the cushion of friendship by adding a sexual dynamic to it. There is so much more to lose than there is to gain. Sexual gratification is one thing, but to lose a confidant I think would be more traumatic.

While it is not something I would entirely dismiss, it is something that would take a great deal of consideration and thought process before proceeding.

You never want to hurt anyone or yourself for that matter. Once you cross that bridge of sexual contact there is never going back to the way it was prior. Some questions are worth answering before you strip down and do the horizontal mambo with your best pal.

On the flip side, getting into a sexual relationship with a friend first may be the way to develop a long standing relationship that is on a deeper level. You already trust that person, and who knows love could develop out of it.

Just my humble opinion as always.

Sher
 Mo-Mo
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 39
Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 4/10/2007 4:45:57 PM
Dont all friends have benefits of some sort ? Otherwise why would they be friends ?
 thesewords
Joined: 9/14/2005
Msg: 40
view profile
History
Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 4/10/2007 5:15:48 PM
friends with benefits can be good when you're sick of rejection and being patient. but then it hurts when they (FWB) find someone that they want to make it work with, and you're left wondering - why not me?
 Asassylady
Joined: 12/28/2006
Msg: 41
Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 4/10/2007 5:19:19 PM
If you are at a point in life, or mabe a crossroads of sorts, of course it can work, just keep emotions out of it, enjoy the company of a great friend, don't have to be alone all the time, and the familiarity is nice..
Sure life happens, but enjoy it for the moment, and make sure you're in the right frame of mind for it...
 Memsies
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 42
Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 4/10/2007 6:41:12 PM
bring it on! nothing wrong with using men once in awhile for one of the few things they are good at(well some, not all)
 fackoff
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 43
Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 4/10/2007 6:53:49 PM
^^^ Not gonna make any friends with benifits with that attitude.
 Memsies
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 44
Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 4/10/2007 6:59:37 PM
hmmm haven't had too many problems in the past :)
 musicnut46
Joined: 2/21/2006
Msg: 45
Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 4/10/2007 7:18:33 PM
The benefits of real good friendship can be many things. You got that right girl. How long does it take to ruin a frienship. Frienship can be forever,the other,hahahahahaha. The Benefits of Frienship outweigh the benefits of certain benefits. Questions require the right answers though. It should and can do that. Trust is a biggy,pleasure can lead to marriage. You Gals can really ROCK.
 BrnEyesLostMind
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 46
Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 4/11/2007 10:42:06 PM
HUH!?!?!?!?!?!? And again...just reading ^^^^that makes my brain hurt!

What makes you think pleasure leads to marriage???? Again...HUH!?!?!?

OT> There's nothing wrong with a FWB relationship, it can be great as long as both understand what the relationship actually is.


I dunno, now you're VVV making me say HUH again...wonder if you and he can find something beneficial to benefit from!?
 musicnut46
Joined: 2/21/2006
Msg: 47
Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 4/11/2007 11:38:38 PM
Preceding post summed it up pretty well. Convienence be the convience of conviency. We all are convieved,learn to concieve and can get concieved. It could lead to that if you both wished it to. Nothing wrong withF-W-B as long as the frienship is more important than the benefits. You and me have friends with benefits,if they're good enough,they become long-term partners.
 lifeexperiences
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 48
Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 4/12/2007 5:30:57 AM
No problem with a FWB here but damn.........why do they end up liking ya more than origionally planned!
 clayhutscal
Joined: 11/9/2005
Msg: 49
Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 4/12/2007 9:07:32 AM
It happens and more often than people admit beats the hell outta ****in someone you just met safe convienient and at least you like the other on some level
 musicnut46
Joined: 2/21/2006
Msg: 50
Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 4/12/2007 1:26:35 PM
You got it girl. Just a better Friend with nice Benefits. Maybe so nice you wind-up hooking-up long-term. Respect is a Friends thing,F-W-B just should lead to it. Structured and serious mean long-term planning. It is always good,if it's bad,that's why separations and divorces occur. What are married but hopefully Best Friends with Great benefits.
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