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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?      Home login  
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 Sarahbecca814
Joined: 4/14/2009
Msg: 568
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out? Page 31 of 34    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)
Well 1st of all i don't feel the need to go into the whole story cuz i'm sure alot of people don't care to hear it. I only made my statement as some people can take spanking a child too far and to suggest "beating a disorder out of a child" could get out of hand. I am not against spanking or disciplining my child. I know there is a difference, but some people will not see that difference so to suggest it as a solution to millions of people, there is a chance someone could take it to dangerous levels. Btw, child services ruled the case as abuse and charges have been brought against his father. I also got a PFA for my child against his father cuz the justice system is taking its sweet old time on it. If it was BS a judge would not have signed the PFA. Besides that, with the child services ruling as they did, he will never be able to be around the child even after the PFA lapses or after he gets any due punishment. I never said my son was going to be in therapy the rest of his life. I said that a child that possibly endures more than he did possibly could. Also to clarify, my son did not trust or show affection towards anyone. Of course this hit me the hardest, as i am his mother. He became totally withdrawn cuz he was only 4 yrs old and thats where his mind had to go to deal with the experience and the pain he endured. A withdrawn child will not be affectionate. The therapy he has done so far has brought him well out of his shell but he still has more to go. But no i don't think it will be for the rest of his life. Still it has been alot for him to deal with at his age and something that should not have happened to him.
 Sarahbecca814
Joined: 4/14/2009
Msg: 569
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 10/14/2009 8:47:37 PM
And yes i do get rather defensive on this topic cuz when i came home from work that evening my son's father said he had "whooped his ass" , so i guess when i hear those words or anything like it my mind goes back to my son covered in bruises. I hope this would be an appalling sight for any parent. I was only trying to share my experience to possibly prevent this from happening to other children.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 570
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ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 10/15/2009 4:06:40 AM
"Freetime2bme, even if this is a joke it is not at all funny" "You disgust me."
"cuz of what some STUPID idiot like you "

With that kind of an out look no wounder your son now suffers from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). May be you can spank that out of him too. If you don't see the hummor this time get your self back into the therapy.
 Sarahbecca814
Joined: 4/14/2009
Msg: 571
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 10/15/2009 12:46:43 PM
thank you friends2b for your apology and best wishes, i truly appreciate it. i did write my posts in the manner i did cuz i was very upset at the time, so i can understand a misunderstanding. again, to anyone else reading this, i was not sharing my story to get sympathy from people i do not know. that is not my intention or what i need. i was only sharing cuz of a mindless suggestion that you can beat a disorder out of a child which attempting to do such a thing could lead to only more problems for your child. i hope that no one would take this suggestion seriously or literally but somewhere there may be someone that does and i feel for those children and feel an obligation to share my son's experience to potentially prevent it from happening to another child.
 Sarahbecca814
Joined: 4/14/2009
Msg: 572
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 10/15/2009 12:54:07 PM
my outlook has nothing to do with my son's trauma disorder. post traumatic stress disorder is a result to having a life threatening experience, or anything that the person perceives as a life threatening experience. i once upon a time used to laugh about phrases like that or maybe even used them myself (ex:"i'm gonna strangle this child). of course in no way do i think that everyone who says things like this will then act upon it but when you are giving advice or suggestions to millions of people there is a chance someone will take it literally or try it. that is why i posted my response. and thats all i will say. and i will not apologize for not seeing humor in something that is now a big disturbance for ME cuz of MY experiences.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 573
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ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 10/15/2009 1:01:05 PM
"i once upon a time used to laugh "

From reading your post, I really find it hard to believe you ever were able to to that. I'm not a real doctor, but like I said before I do play one at the beer barn when I try and impress the women folk and I tell every one to laugh for good health. Give it a try.
 Sarahbecca814
Joined: 4/14/2009
Msg: 574
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 10/15/2009 7:24:19 PM
please if you are gonna quote me please quote the whole part of what i said. I said i used to laugh at using such phrases because before my son got seriously hurt by someone basically acting out what alot of people say lightly or jokingly, i was able to take things like that in a different perspective. our perspectives and associations change with our life experiences.
 dolphinlvr36
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 575
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 10/15/2009 8:54:03 PM
[They can focus very well when playing games but not when they are studding. They can behave very well when they know that they would get spanked if they don’t behave. Their memory is fantastic when it comes down to girls phone numbers, what was the score in the 1969 World Series while being born in 90’s. They can remember the names of every NFL player but not the ABC’s. It seems a little convenient that a child’s disease some how is a problem when they walk into a school. Then we have our school teachers that for some reason can’t seem to teach our kids to read or write but yet they have a medical degree for a disease that their is no real test for except for some questions and observation of behavior. If we were not talking about kids and ADHD & ADD what would anyone think of teachers and schools? And let me say I respect teachers and the hard work they do but we have a big problem in this country today with incompetence in our schools. I really do feel that most of the kids have a diseases called Lack of discipline compile with boredom that is contracted by spending to much time in building infected with incompetence. ]


i guess you didn't notice what i talked about in my post above. ADHD kids can most certainly focus in certain situations and not others, just like people with depression can be unhappy in some situations, and not others.

In terms of the whole school thing? Wow...such strong words. Do you have children in school? If so, do you take part in their education, not just rely on their teacher's to teach them without parental support? It's a team effort between the student, teacher, and family. We have too much to teach in one day to also "so called" diagnose kids, not to mention try to teach them in a world with which we have to compete with.
 licoricecat_1
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 576
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ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 10/22/2009 9:51:29 PM
I am RN, BSN and know all about bipolar and ADHD. My son was dx with ADHD at 3 yrs old. He definitely had this. However, Dr's do overdiagnose people with labels and the pharmaceutical companies make more and more drugs to fit the label. The Dr's oftentimes have stock in the drug companies. The video, "Making a Killing" has documented stories about this and the Billions$ that is being made daily and we the American people are the ginny pigs and so are our children. Most of these conditions are real. Most of them are genetic. Most of them could be helped immensely through diet. Vegan Diet. Get rid of the meat (filled with hormones and garbage) pesticides (so eat organic and raw), red dyes, food coloring, processed foods, white sugar and white flour, etc. Eat instead vegetables and fruits, nuts (if not allergic) oatmeal, grains, sprouts, seeds, etc. Get child tested for allergies first to rule out any. Read Living Foods Lifestyle book by Brenda Cobb and Hallejuah Diet by George Malkmus and you will understand more what I am talking about. American Food is deficient in nutrition and kills your cells causing all sorts of health problems and the drugs we take continues to weaken our cells .
 licoricecat_1
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 577
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ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 10/22/2009 9:57:53 PM
Want to add to not take child off med's, but do change their eating habits to nutritious eating and then maybe you will not need to give them med's or may be able to lessen them. Ask Dr. first. Get them on healthy eating and then see the change. Then ask Dr. about decreasing med's or maybe totally not need it anymore. Kids with ADHD are very impulsive and do not think of the consequences of their behaviors. Later on they could be violent, get into trouble of all sorts. They also have difficult time focusing.
 Janewantstarzan
Joined: 8/3/2009
Msg: 578
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 10/22/2009 10:00:52 PM

Why is it that every time some talks about spanking or discipline there is mostly some woman that comes up with some sorry ass story about some kid getting his head kicked in.
It is never a 'sorry ass story' when someone brings to light abuse of a child! When even one child is abused that is one to many! You could be a little more tasteful in your wording!
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 579
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ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/19/2009 8:42:49 PM
Daily doses of the nutritional suppliment GABA is a wonderful and very effective alternative to meds for children and adults
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 580
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ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/20/2009 9:26:19 AM

Ok one thing I never understood since I have a few nephews that supposedly have ADHD and/or ADD. If kids have a hard time focusing why is it that the only time they have the focus issue in is when they are doing something they don’t like to do? They can focus very well when playing games but not when they are studding. They can behave very well when they know that they would get spanked if they don’t behave. Their memory is fantastic when it comes down to girls phone numbers, what was the score in the 1969 World Series while being born in 90’s. They can remember the names of every NFL player but not the ABC’s.

Do some reading on this disorder and you will get it, doesn't make it easier to live with at times but it is what it is. Just like other people, people are interested in what they like to do but with my daughter, she loves history so if she is having a particularly bad day, even though she would normally be engaged she cannot manage it.
 daydreamin_honey
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 581
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/21/2009 7:43:24 PM
In the particular case you mentioned OP, I would vote for cop-out. They should have seen the signs/symptoms much earlier on if those were actually present.
But I DESPISE being told my son doesn't have ADHD, that he's fine and i'm just trying to medicate him. My son's father still has rather severe ADHD as an adult and our pediatrician suggested when my son was clearly showing symptoms that it's possible his father's strand was age-resistant and that it's more common in boys. But they refuse to diagnose til the age of 5. So my son was kicked out of 2 daycares because of his energy level and my not "putting him on something" even after bringing in notes from our doctor saying they don't diagnose behavioral disorders (aside from autism) before age 5.
Long story short, my son will be 7 this week and in the last 2yrs has been diagnosed with ADHD, ODD and borderline Asperger's/PDD-NOS (high functioning autism). Yes, he is on the lowest effective dose of medication to HELP him in school but is not medicated at home or on weekends. He is top of his class in school and loves learning. Before we found a medication, he was always frustrated at school/daycare and thought he was a "bad boy" because he couldn't help himself.
We tried changing his diet, homeopathic remedies, all the non-medication approaches our pediatrician (who specializes in behavior disorders) could find. We had to face the music that the only avenue left to us was medication to HELP him. My son is NOT a zombie at all. He is still running around at recess, still full of imagination and loves art class. But now he is able to think clearly and participate in class. His doctor has been amazingly helpful in helping him to understand how his brain works and what the medicine does.

While there are a LOT of kids out there that are mis-labeled, ADHD really does exist and can be severely detrimental to a child's ability to learn. Please don't judge before you know the truth :)
 Cookie121603
Joined: 11/25/2009
Msg: 582
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 12/9/2009 8:39:33 PM
I posted this in the night terror's thread, but I think it did touch a bit of ADHD.

Ok. Night terrors. Ppl, do some research. My son, now almost 6 has had them since he was 2 and a half. Night terrors differ from nightmares in the fact that your child does look like he/she is awake and alert, can answer to mostly all your comments or questions. But they are not awake; you cannot console them whatsoever. Actually, the more you try to help them, the more the night terror will last. These episodes can last from 5 minutes to hours. The child seems rather terrified of something, but when you ask, they pretty much scream (if they are young and can't verbalize) and fight with you verbally ( or even physically). They go back to bed as sudden as they "woke up" and they do not recall the events in the morning.

These nigh terrors can't be completely prevented, but you can do many things to try and lessen the conditions for them to happen. After much discussion with our psych and peds, we came to the conclusion that a nightly bath and massage would set the grounds for better sleeping ( routines, routines, routines). I came to the findings that when my child has very active days (like play dates, bday parties, the such) he tends to have more of these terrors than when he has had a mellow day. He sleeps with me quite often, and now at his age, when he wakes up fighting and screaming, I turn, tell him he is dreaming, make sure he isn't hurting himself, and watch him until he goes back to sleep.

The Sedative you talk about, was this before the ADHD diagnosis? My son has lots of trouble falling asleep, unless I calm him down with a massage or a story. I understand that we as parents don't have the time or energy to do this every night ( both decrease with increasing number of children in household) but they do benefit from it. Even then, I have had him jumping around while I try to read to him, or kicking and fidgeting while I massage his legs. The ADHD, and not the night terrors, seem to be more responsible for the trouble falling asleep. My kid is NOW being assessed for ADHD. When I brought up the night terrors YEARS ago to his peds, he told me to put him to sleep and then wake him up with some lame excuse an hour after he fell asleep. I thought: ARE YOU NUTS???!! Do you know how long it took me for him to fall asleep??? But it is the case that if you wake them up, lets say to go potty for 5 minutes while he is awake, it breaks the REM cycle and restarts the sleep timer, so he won't have the night terrors at the same time every night (which tends to happen a lot) and eventually breaks the brain loop they fall into.

In conclussion, yes ADHD and night terros to tend to go along (also sleepwalking and night terrors, I have read the children grow up to be walkers later on if not taken care of now). Sedatives, you might want to consider using a different one if he is still having the terrors while he's on it. The ADHD meds are taken nowadays only during the periods needed, and they only last for 12 hours, depending on the meds half life, and are taken once a day. The children see the benefits of it while in school, then it wears off and they go back to their normal hyperactive selves during the evening, but enhanced. They know they feel better with the meds, they look forward to being better at behaving. If your kid is zombied out, either the meds are wrong for him/her, or they are getting too much. Talk to your doc about it. I will post this on the ADHD thread too, seems like I touchd enough of that too.

Hope this helped.

 MsBeave
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 583
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 12/10/2009 9:18:28 AM
Until you've with lived or taught a child with bipolar or ADHD you don't have a clue what it's like for them. Many of these kids are suffering, image always being the "problem kid" at home and school, and no matter how hard they try they can't control the behaviour.

A qualified and current paediatric psychiatrist will run cognitive, psychological, physical and socialization testing before making a diagnoses. The problem is too often family doctors, pediatricians and psychologist are making the diagnoses without excluding the other possible causes. Bipolar and ADHD/ADD can be diagnosed as early has 3 years old if the psychiatrist is qualified and the symptoms are absolute.

Unfortunately too often the behaviours are the result of socialization and lack of effective parenting. And the children are medicated because it's easier then dealing with the problem. The "zombie effect" is the result of over-medicating, being on the wrong medication or not needing medication.

Auditory Processing Disorder can often be mistaken for ADD, this should always be excluded before a diagnoses of ADD. Food allergies are another possibility as are metabolic disorders.

A child with ADD/ADHD doesn't always require medication either, sometimes the problem can be resolved through cogitative therapy, success is dependant on the commitment of the parents and school.

As parents we have to educate ourselves because it's expensive to diagnose a child with mental health issues and medical administrators would much rather "cure" the problem through medication then find a solution.
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 584
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ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 12/15/2009 1:03:00 PM
In my life the solution without drugs???? GABA 500 mg 3-6x daily, DHEA 50 mg daily, MACA 200 mg daily.... U will feel totally different in ur mind with zero drug effects.... these will feed ur body to do what it knows to do not force it to behave as with a mind altering drug.... good luck!!!!
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 585
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ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 7/15/2012 7:28:13 AM
Is there any new discussions on this topic?????
 Debyduz_
Joined: 5/4/2012
Msg: 586
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 7/15/2012 10:49:47 AM
ADD and ADHD is not a cop out. The pills won't work if the child doesn't have it. If the child doesn't have ADHD all the pills do is make them hyper. If a child has it and they are zombielike meds and or doses need to be changed. In order to get on the meds a child should have a proper evaluation. Evaluation includes surveys from teachers, parents and daycare workers. then they are evaluated by "Child psychiatrists and psychologists, developmental or behavioral pediatricians, or behavioral neurologists are those most often trained in differential diagnoses. Clinical social workers may also have such training."

I have son who is now 19 and has extreme ADHD, Asperger's, Bipolar(that can be diagnosed before 18), Anxiety Disorder and Depression. I know it is not a cop out in our case. You will very like see many members of a family with similar disorder it can be genetic. You will also see step families with similar disorder because having a ADHD child is very difficult and the parent would be attracted to each because they understand.

I have seen people who are cop outs because they don't deal with their children. I will assure that the ADHD meds don't work if they don't have it.

The conditions are mostly on what they call Spectrum disorders. You will find overlap in diagnoses and that diagnoses change as child ages. The symptoms difficult to separate in younger children. Our son was diagnosed with extreme ADHD at age 2 and we started meds at age 5. The meds made a positive change for him and made life easier for him.

You will also get different opinions from different doctors. Some doctor don't believe in the meds. That is a disservice to the child. We disagree with out son's shrink about the bipolar.

Please try to be understanding with your friend and offer support if it is possible. Many friends disappear when children's behavior is bad. It can be a hard lonely life.
 meowkatt2012
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 587
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 7/16/2012 9:45:19 PM
The jails are full of ppl w add who needed to be on ritalin. It is a real thing. It's not just a wild child. It interferes with their ability to learn . And if you can't learn you can't work. Its a serious problem.
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 588
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ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 7/17/2012 12:58:45 PM
I found the best medicine for me was a nutritional called GABA ...3000 mg daily in divided doses
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 589
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 7/17/2012 5:43:31 PM
jessika2908- I don't think people should be quick to judge unless they have experienced something themselves.
I am a nurse and a mom and it's a bit of a pet peeve of mine for people to say what other people should or should not do with their kids, especially medical issues.
Add/adhd is very real.
My brother was diagnosed in the 70's when it was fairly unheard of.
He was given medication, but eventually refused to take it and ended up getting in trouble all the time and dropped out of school.
Btw-they don't give Ritalin anymore, but there are drugs that are still given that are very similar to it chemically.
Add/adhd is more common in boys and no one is sure why, it is also common for more than one child to be diagnosed with it in the same family, which tells me it is genetic.
Both of my boys have it. My oldest son has adhd and my youngest has add.
I didn't want my sons to have this, I didn't want to medicate them.
I would NOT put my oldest son on it until I tried everything else, no foods with red die, a diet log, allergy testing you name it, I did it. Medication was a LAST resort.
He repeated the decision my brother made and refused to take it anymore at 14, he quit school at 16.
Eventually he got his GED and is now a chef, so things worked out, but it was HARD.
My youngest son is on a medication that is low dose and time release. When he was first diagnosed, I tried again to modify his diet, all the rest, to no avail.
Once he was on medicine, he was able to sit still and concentrate, he went from having an IEP plan for children with learning issues to a gifted program, his reading scores almost doubled.
As a parent, you do what is best for your child.
If you aren't one or haven't experienced such issues, you have NO basis to finger point!
 calimamma05
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 590
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ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 7/17/2012 11:03:27 PM
I myself have childrens, twins exactly, who were both diagnosed with ADHD. There is family history on both my and my twins's fathers side for ADHD. I have ADD and their father has ADHD> My son's behavior and grade have improved dramatically in the past year. My daughter's has also inproved.

It is possible that these meds do work. Just as long as the prescription is right for the child.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 591
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 7/18/2012 1:11:25 AM
cop out. my dad tells me a story of when he was a kid spacing out in class like he often did, and the teacher came around and slapped him in the hand really hard with a ruler to snap him out of it. dad says he paid attention in that class from that point on.

im not condoning teaching beating our children, but nowadays my father would probably be diagnosed with ADD and medicated. turns out a slap on the hand was all it took to cure his disorder.

i think our society is too quick to run to medication as the answer to all our problems.
 gothicgirl86
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 592
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 7/25/2012 6:00:45 PM
My son is ADHD and is medicated to get through school but he is in no way zombified. The meds just take the edge off so they can actually settled down alot better. If my son don't take his meds, he goes non stop.
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