Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 jefcoat
Joined: 8/12/2004
Msg: 198
view profile
History
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out? Page 7 of 34    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)
Sweet Fish

I am not backing down. Please remember my posts. I encourage continue to research the topic in your own time. You will discover that ADD and ADHD people generally do not need meds and are not violent. You will learn that those who are violent will later be diagnosed with another disorder such as bipolar or obsessive defiance disorder.

As for my post I am reading what you are quoting. Again i will say At no time did I diagnose I shared my opinion. You don't have to like it nor do you have to accept but to put words into my mouth is not proper. I ask that you try to think abit more rational. And I also encourage you to read and reread posts before jumping to an attack.
 a_sweet_fishy
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 199
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 2/5/2007 7:52:04 PM
Not only did I not 'attack' I did not put words in your mouth. A direct quote from you does not say it is an opinion, it says that ADD and ADHD people DO NOT need meds. The word generally was not added until this last post.

I do not have to be encouraged to research anything when I am living with and researching ADHD daily. As for the extreme violence some parents have mentioned, yes, there is obviously something seriously wrong. However, you cannot say it is not just another form/degree of ADHD without KNOWING the situation. Thankfully, even though my son can be extremely hard to handle, I never have to fear for the other children, the pets, or my safety. Aparently, some do. But, as the parent of a child with ADHD who does not only need meds but REQUIRES them to be able to function in society, I am saying you are WRONG.
 jefcoat
Joined: 8/12/2004
Msg: 200
view profile
History
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 2/5/2007 7:59:49 PM
Whatever. So I guess That as aperson who suffers with ADHd most of my life and all the hard work I do daily to ensure that I function with out one pill is wrong. i will not back down from my view and hopefully when you do some homework you will discover that a child with ADD or ADHD does not need drugs.

When I was first diagnosed I was the kid that would have tantrums cause things did not go my way. I would destroy things in those tantrums. However strict discipline and structuring my daily routine is what I need to deal with the issue. but I appearently know nothing about the condition so
i will allow you Sweet Fish to continue thinking that your right and I am diagnosing every child with ADD or ADHD. Even though you know that I have never said that.
 a_sweet_fishy
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 201
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 2/5/2007 8:13:24 PM
I know that if you would re-read your own post you would know that you DID say that no child with just ADHD needs meds. I also know that I HAVE done my homework and I have spent my child's entire life trying to find some other way. My child is NOT the one who throws tantarums and destroys things, my child is not the one who runs screaming through stores and disrupts people wherever he goes. My child has been taught from day one that disorder or not, he is personally responsible for his behavior and will be held accountable. He knows the rules and suffers the consequences of violations just like his brothers. I also know that when he is sitting in class using the only methods he has to focus (he will tap his feet, pinch himself, bite the inside of his mouth, clench and unclench his fists, etc. anything to slow himself down inside) he can't learn. I know that one Concerta a day made him go from being totally unable to learn at grade level to being a 9 y/o child who reads Stephen King. You know what works for you, I know what works for my child and your research is flawed.
 jefcoat
Joined: 8/12/2004
Msg: 202
view profile
History
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 2/5/2007 9:42:23 PM
First I do not think my research is flawed. One thing I do know is in most schools they are not set up to deal with those who have adhd. I was fortunate to have good techers who took the time to adress my issues. When the drive kicked in as it does I was given the time to go and do things like run and burn off the energy that arose. My classes and school work time was restructered so that I was not forced to sit with the other kids and dwell on the same things for 45 minutes. Instead I was given breaks to walk. However I also had subjects that appealed to me and could infact spend more time to do that subject. My diet was restricted to eliminate candy, caramel pop like coke or root beer. I will be the first to say it is extremely tough to control my problem, However as my childhood phsycologist would repeat to me over and over keep doing it. Yes drugs work but do you know the side effects of the drug not only short term but long term? However I still believe that giving a child a drug for ADHD/ADD is an easy way out. How open is your childs school or you to trying to accomodate him. Is he involved in sports? Theese are things that do work. As an adult I still have to do things with more structured discipline. I can not drive for to long, I still need to try harder at being focussed in meetings, However Excersise, diet, discipline are my day to day requirements.
 a_sweet_fishy
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 203
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 2/5/2007 10:00:13 PM
Well, considering I cook our meals from scratch, my kids do not drink soda, we limit sugar intake, they love and live for fresh vegetables and fruits, they spend every spare second running jumping and playing.......I am doing everything right. I do not care what your research says or what worked or didn't work for you, it is not the solution for every single child. No, my child is not into sports and guess what, he doesn't have to be. He is a clumsy, glasses wearing, nerd child with absolutely no interest whatsoever in sports..not everyone is into sports and doesn't have to be to get the exercise they need. No, the school is nowhere near as accomodating as I would like them to be, but it is not a possibility to find one that is, here. I drive 40 minutes each way just to have him (and his brothers) in the best school available in the area. No one can ever say I have not done everything in my power to make things work for him. Using the word easy to describe the choice I made to put my child on medication is nothing short of sickening ignorance.
 jefcoat
Joined: 8/12/2004
Msg: 204
view profile
History
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 2/5/2007 10:19:53 PM
Well i can see that we can't agree. And I am not even going to try to agree. And you may think my research is wrong, you may think that all my friends whom have children with ADHD are wrong. but oh well. You do what you think is best. And I will go on thinking I am correct. And someday we will see how many people will regret putting there child on drugs, when there are more apropriate ways to deal with ADD/ADHD.

I say that we agree to disagree.
 a_sweet_fishy
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 205
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 2/5/2007 10:33:42 PM
You can rest assured I will NEVER regret the decision to give my child the opportunity to be everything he is capable of being in life.

I am aware that for some people there are alternatives, for some there are not. The fact that you say you are not even willing to try to agree speaks volumes for the type of person you are. All I am willing to say is, I KNOW 100% and without a doubt what works for the one child who has been the focus of my life for over 9 years....you claim to know what is best for every single child with ADD or ADHD. That alone says more than enough.
 bodaciousbabe
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 206
view profile
History
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 2/6/2007 12:28:54 AM
My daughters teacher told me that my daughter was ADD when she was in Grade 1. Someone told me to take her to get her eyes checked. She couldn't see, thus the reason she lost interest in her school work and didn't pay attention. About 3 years later, this same teacher was teaching my brothers son and my brother called me to ask me about her. He said she told him that his son was ADD.....I gave him the same advise I was given. His son's right eye didn't focus at all and he was given glasses.....made all the difference.

Teachers are not doctors, and they should be instructed to give the parents all the options before turning to medication.
 a_sweet_fishy
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 207
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 2/10/2007 8:13:02 AM

Believe it or not, a lot of parents have their kids diagnosed with add or adhd just to get that 600.00 a month disability check each month. It happens more often than you think.


I have a LOT of trouble believing this. First, you can't just "have your child diagnosed" there have to be reasons to believe they have a problem. Second, no one I know gets a disability check because their child has ADHD. Obviously you have people who are willing to rape the system but I doubt many doctors are willing to help them.
 meblueeyes
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 208
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 2/12/2007 8:22:06 PM
Well i can tell you there is such a thing as ADD/AD/ADHD. My son who is 11 is ADHD and has other under lying problems as well.
to see a child on the ZOMBIE pills
After trying other alternatives such as diets and others, this is used.
The meds help the child to function as normal children.
If the child acts zombie like then that child is on too much.
I do believe however that schools and some Dr.s are too quick too say add or whatever the case may be.
My son now functions as any other child, and I am very thankful for his meds, for if he didnt have them i would be unable to have him living in my house, for the safety of my other children, as well as his own. For the meds help him to be able to think ahead. The meds slow down his thoughts that would other wise be racing in his head. For anyone who doesnt not understand what i am saying, it is like when we get very upset or mad and we just think and really we have no idea what it is what we are thinking.
i hope that i have not affended anyone with my thoughts and views on this topic
 a_sweet_fishy
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 209
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 2/12/2007 8:33:36 PM

The meds slow down his thoughts that would other wise be racing in his head. For anyone who doesnt not understand what i am saying, it is like when we get very upset or mad and we just think and really we have no idea what it is what we are thinking.


Thank you. What I generally use to try and describe it to people is this, someone cuts you off driving.....a "normal" person thinks "grrr.........I would love to run them off the road" and then goes on, possibly honking the horn. An ADD or ADHD person, same situation, they think "g.........hey, see that guy off the road.........."
 meblueeyes
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 210
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 2/13/2007 1:56:40 PM
inadequate parents carting their kids off to the dr for pills and potions..


you may think it is a cop out and so may others.....But until someone has a child who has the problems that a child with adha has there is no way for them to really know.
A child with adha is pron to many things as he gets older. There are many studies done on inmates and over 50% of them are add ad or adhd.
It is best to find out if a child has this and help that child to find a way too mange and cope...then meds if there is no other way.


it's a cop out to blame a child for being exited about life and to want to snuff out their flame in this way..

it is one thing to have an over exited child....but a whole nother story if that child is chasing people with pencils and forks whatever they can find. When a child is unable to make friend, or when it really soes affect their schooling.

Do some parents just not want to cope? Yes there are some like that, but it is unfair to say that every parent with such a child is un willing to cope. add adha, is a chemical inbalance in the brain.
I hope i have not offended anyone with my veiws and thoughts
 northerngirl299
Joined: 10/12/2006
Msg: 211
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 2/28/2007 8:51:45 PM
ADD and ADHD are indeed very real...There are stories everyday I can tell. I work in the school system and have worked in schools for more than 20 years. It is true that diet and sometimes even more consistent parenting and routines produce positive results in children diagnosed with ADHD and ADD. I hope that medication is a last resort and not a quick fix for anyone. I am alarmed by the notion that if we spank them this will cure anything...It is often the opposite...there are other medications that are used other than ritalin. If the child has a doctor that is conscientious (most pediaticians are)and does not over medicate, the child does not become a "zombie" There are stories on both sides, pros and cons... the bottom line is, that parents need to advocate for their child and do what works for their situation and nobody elses...I have had children tell me that the medication has worked miracles for them and I have had parents and kids who have had the opposite story.. So I think it depends on the child, the family and the individual situation/..
 Lizbeth37184
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 212
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 7/31/2007 10:32:40 PM
I can say that I have a 3 yr. old who was diagnosed with ADHD at her 2 yr. checkup. I could see how it could be easily confused with some type of depression dissorder or even a personality disorder. I have done all I know as a parent to help her through her stress. I have gone by the books, the doctors orders, asked friends and family members for advice, etc. and nothing seems to work. She can't focus enough to even start preschool. Let me further explain that she is almost at a genius level for her age. The doctors say that her mind is way ahead of her body and she is easily frustrated. Either way she has an extreme amount of energy and has a behavioral problem along with the problem on focusing. This is a child who knew her alphabet, colors, numbers to 20, and was learning to write all before she turned 2. She can hold a grown conversation with the best so you know she has an excellent vocabulary. None of this is forced on her, but she seems to crave it. I don't know how to correct the situation and medication has been suggested. There are many types of medication, you as a parent have to do research to find which one is the best for your child. A second opinion or maybe even going to a child psychologist may be suggested. Either way I feel that I would be doing the best for her so that she doesn't hurt herself or someone else.


Liz
 starwonder
Joined: 1/31/2007
Msg: 213
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 7/31/2007 11:40:58 PM
The "zombie" pills are only that way if the child is being over medicated. The correct dosage does not make them like zombies. Unfortunately I know of a family who are a bunch of wackos anyways that medicate their daughter WAY TOO much to the point of which she's not even there anymore. They just don't want to deal with her, so they think that it's fine to over medicate her to the point where she's in lala land. I'm just shocked that the dr isn't trying to stop them.

But yes, ADD and ADHD are real disorders. My younger brother and I both have ADHD. The thing that makes it real, is that the child has trouble keeping attention and fidgets too much. There is a terrible lack of concentration. They tend to stick out a lot more than children without the disorder. With ADHD, there is an excessive amount of hyperactivity in the child. It has nothing to do with parenting or just "bad" kids. A lot of these kids can easily right away get labled as "bad" or "problem" kids before they actually get diagnosed with ADD or ADHD.
 bbdoll
Joined: 7/28/2006
Msg: 214
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 8/6/2007 9:15:21 AM
I am a teacher who has worked with children through out my adult life. I have seen children diagnosed, undiagnosed, on meds, and off meds.
All I can say is that sometimes medications are legitimately necessary. Sometimes bad parenting is the culprit - which isn't to say meds still aren't necessary.
There are plenty of children who should be diagnosed with LOD (Lack Of Discipline).
I've been on the receiving end of a violent outburst from a child who was undiagnosed, or forgot to take their morning meds. So if it's zombie pills that keep this child functioning in society and keep myself and my other students safe then so be it.
 a_sweet_fishy
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 218
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 8/7/2007 12:51:54 PM

Just as an example-- A recent study in China compared the leve l of mercury in boys diagnosed with ADHD ~vs~ typical boys, and found that ADHD boys had 9 times the amount of mercury in their bodies. Type in google "ADHD mercury study".


Wow.....this just made me have a serious flashback. When I was growing up, I, and many of the kids I knew (so I assume MANY more) used to play with mercury. Since it is absorbed through the skin and stays in your system, I assume I have abnormally high mercury levels. There are so many children of adults my age with ADHD.....I wonder if somehow THAT (high levels in the mother) could be part of the problem?
 Monicaborodi
Joined: 7/16/2007
Msg: 219
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 8/8/2007 7:28:22 AM
several things: I was diagnosed with ADD, before it was a popular disorder of choice, my daughter was diagnosed with ADHD at age of 3.. my oldest now 20 and in the Army was told it could be ADD.. HE choses not to adhere to society's guidelines of treatment. My daughter..omg, without medication she is completely intollerable.. school calls & says come get her, or bring pills.. On medication, a completely different child. You might find, if you read, a book called "What did I just Say!?!" by Denis Donovan & Deborah McIntyre of St. Petersburg, Florida a very intersting read, I did.. fabulous.. They put a different spin on whether it's a cop out or not.. and dont b confused about ADD/ADHD, bipolar, manic depression. Bipolar & manic Depression, as a psychiatrist will tell you is diagnosable through a variety of ways & treatable. HOWEVER.. there are NO single TEST for ADD/ADHD.. they interview the parents of said child.. based on history..not a "test". Also, ADD/ADHD is HEREDITARY... not environmental. a Step father with disorders does not mean hereditary, it could be environmental... could be the food they eat. I've seen children with several behavioral effects from processed foods act like they're ADD/ADHD.. and BTW, ADD medication SHOULD NOT make a child a zombie... A good doctor, a good therapist will work together on behavioral issues from ADD/ADHD..not just writing the script up every 30 days.. it's all about the parents, the doctors etc.. communication is key.. read the book I mentioned above.. eye opening..for sure.
 starwonder
Joined: 1/31/2007
Msg: 222
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 8/10/2007 10:10:17 PM

To call them zombie pills shows lack of knowledge on subject. Children who are ADHD, usually behave "normally" when on medication.
That's not really correct. They act "normally" on meds WHEN it's the RIGHT dose. There are parents that over medicate their kids, and THAT'S when it makes them zombies. The kid I was talking about DOES have ADHD, but her family is such screwballs they totally over medicate her and treat her as if she's retarded. Now she acts like a totally retarded (not meaning any offence here) kid. She's very bright, but her family has messed her up now. They don't even want the school to grade her like the other kids. They don't even want her graded at all. It's rediculus.

So, when the pill if being referred to "zombie pills", it's just meaning that some kids on the meds are like that simply because they're being over medicated. Either that, or the meds are having a poor effect on them and need to be changed to something else.
 Ravenstar66
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 225
view profile
History
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 9/2/2007 12:29:25 PM
I have ADD. My child does not.

I am on dexedrine (slow-release)..it doesn't "zombie" me out. I am actually able to function better with it. I'm more spaced without it because of the inattentiveness factor. (I don't have the physical hyperactivity)

I have noticed that red and yellow food dyes affect my kid's behavior. As does refined sugar. Diet is very important. Food allergies should be examined first. Only when everything else has been ruled out would I suggest medication. I would only consider meds if the ADHD was affecting my child in a negative way ie: schoolwork or social life. There is a lot more to treatment for ADHD than medication. Behavior modification is extremely important as is learning to utilize organizational techniques...and finally acceptance that ADD and ADHD seem to run parallel to creative abilities and enterpreneur-like qualities, people who think "outside the box". The important part is to foster the ADHD childs uniqueness but balance it with basic life skills. Here's the thing. I wasn't diagnosed until my thirties...those thirty years living with ADD were painful because I didn't know what was wrong. It affected my schooling, my social abilities and caused depression. My diagnoses and subsequent treatment plan has made a world of difference for me.

There is a lot of great info on the web about ADHD.

Peace
 Earthen_Angel
Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 226
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 9/2/2007 3:49:02 PM
my son is four years old..
hes impatient, has a short attention span and agressive
his first reaction is to always hit..infact since he turned 3 he constantly jumps on me, punches, pinches, slaps and basically anything you can imagine when i'm home..

On the other side of the coin
hes smart..at 4 years old he can write his own name, he can count to 20 and only miss maybe 3 numbers, do some basic math (I teach him), do some addition and recognizes numbers by sight as well some letters..

My concern is he's incredibly hyper active due to his short attention span, he starts school in just 3 days and I'm nervous about how well he'll do in a classroom setting..I sent him to a preschool starter coarse last year and he lasted 2 weeks before he became bored and didnt want to attend anymore - I figured it was boredom because hes so advanced for his age (he has a great aunt and uncle who are teachers who've taught kids his age and even they have said so) and mostly because the teacher they had wouldnt give him attention - he loved this girl would cling to her and any time i've seen her just didnt seem as into the kids as a teacher should be..but in her defense she was young, i think maybe even younger than me..

now this being said, I know my son, his behaviour is not always good and though I try to redirect as much as possible it doesn't work. If a teacher suggests to me that I need to have him tested I will. Simply because hes my baby. Hes the only I have and it will help him improve all the better for it. As for his diet. This kid will eat fruits and veggies before he'll even consider any form of candy or junk food. I'd rather have a doctor prove the teacher wrong, than ignore the suggestion and have my child suffer for it.

I think ADD/ADHD is real. I know kids who've had it and I agree with other readers some kids you can moderate with diet changes others need the medication. My niece is one of them. Shes ODD. And believe me, much as I love her, you dont want her in your home. She wakes up at odd hours when the house is asleep and makes messes /everywhere imagineable.
 Earthen_Angel
Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 227
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 9/2/2007 3:51:48 PM
I should also add my friends daughter is add and my bosses wife, whose worked with special needs children in the past, suggested coffee. Not alot, but about tablespoon of it in a cup of water to calm her down. I never would have thought of it, but works. She started sending it with her daughter to school and the teacher would make her take it to settle her out. Who'da thought lol.
 ningonature
Joined: 9/4/2007
Msg: 228
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 9/27/2007 8:14:40 AM
We're over medicating are kids, with drugs that are not tested enough for children.... Great site to check out..... www.newstarget.com
 wvgal4u
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 229
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 9/27/2007 1:03:36 PM
Well obviously, you don't have a child with this disorder. I would gladly love to see someone with this attitude try to deal with these types of children. My child has ADD and ODD......These children you can beat absolutely to death and it still does not make a difference. It is a frickin chemical imbalance in the brain that stems from numerous medical rationales. Cop out....I THINK NOT!. My oldest child does not have this.....obviously since I birthed both of them.....I should know the difference in my children....and I believe I have been parenting both of them....


Ignorance is bliss isn't it!
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  >