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 motherbear
Joined: 11/29/2005
Msg: 76
Do you want kids or not and why?Page 4 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Tayven, if you want your own kids, then don't give up until it makes no sense. You have time to spare still so therefore it still makes sense. You wont have them though if you just end up with someone who can't have them, so determine what's most important.
 needleinahaystack
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 77
Do you want kids or not and why?
Posted: 12/16/2005 8:44:02 AM
I for one have never felt that burning desire to take on the father role. I, like a few others on here, do not think that a child is needed to make my life fulfilling. Life is what you make it, not what society dictates you should make it. With the number of marriages these days that stand the test of time diminishing, why get the kids in the middle of a nasty divorce either, not that it would end in divorce, but have to consider those things.

I have, thankfully, met a number of talented, smart, intelligent, successful women who, for their own reasons, whether similar or not, are also not carrying the burning need to be a mother, rather find a mate to share their time and life with, without the kids.

The nice thing about being our own individuals, the right to choose. I have total respect for those single parents out there, for whatever reason they are single. And I have had a few messages from ladies out there asking why i am not wanting kids,saying it was unnatural to not have them.... i just disagree. To each their own.
 okieroper
Joined: 8/23/2004
Msg: 78
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Do you want kids or not and why?
Posted: 12/16/2005 8:47:12 AM
yea .......... someone needs to carry on my legacy
 MMMBaby!
Joined: 10/25/2005
Msg: 79
Do you want kids or not and why?
Posted: 12/16/2005 8:50:36 AM
I made one son, that's good enough for me, I'm done. No more diapers, barf, crying, etc. Oh sorry, that was my last girlfriend!!
 Summer Teeth
Joined: 6/15/2005
Msg: 80
Do you want kids or not and why?
Posted: 12/16/2005 8:52:39 AM
One step at a time. I have to be in a stable enough relationship just to consider it. That may never happen, and if it doesn't, that's okay. I will not have any children unless the environment is healthy. Want has nothing to do with it.
 timeposter
Joined: 11/22/2005
Msg: 81
Do you want kids or not and why?
Posted: 12/16/2005 8:55:50 AM

For those who feel they need to procreate to carry on the family name, why? Is the family name so important to bring a kid into the world as being the main reason? My brother and I are the last in our lineage. He has 2 daughters and they want one more and if that child is a girl, then I'm the only one left. Should I feel pressure to have children for that reason alone? I don't understand why this whole "namesake" thing is so important.



My brother & my brother both have girls, so although it would be nice to continue the family name, I don't see that being a good reason to have another child. Also I don't wish at 41 to have to start raising a young child again. Working past the normal retirement age to put a kid through school isn't really in my plans. So although I like kids, I'd have to say nay to having another one. Also the world is vastly overpopulated, we can barely sustain the people we have here now. Western society is something like 30% of the total population, but consumes 70% of the resources. So in the West we should be incouraging immigration, and smaller family size to maintain and increase our population.
 arabquene
Joined: 10/29/2005
Msg: 82
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Do you want kids or not and why?
Posted: 12/16/2005 8:57:11 AM

I've had the pleasure of foster parenting several children in my life and can testify to the rich full satisfaction that allows as well. Adoption is yet another option. Perhaps the instinct you feel is a parental one and not a birthing one at all.


Never having had a biological child, I never felt that I "missed" anything. I have a daughter who I have had since she was 9 years old (she is now almost 21)...and she is as much mine if not more than most people's children.

Also, working as an adolescent counselor, I have 28 or so kids at a time who are "my kids" in a certain sense...only they go home to their parents/guardians when they get unruly.

I agree that parenting is not necessarily an instinct...why, if it were, would so many people do such a bad job?
 yep211
Joined: 7/6/2004
Msg: 83
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Do you want kids or not and why?
Posted: 12/16/2005 8:59:53 AM
two words... tax writeoff.

just kidding.

i don't think there's anything more admirable in life you can do, then raising a good child up.
 Keptreal
Joined: 11/24/2005
Msg: 84
Do you want kids or not and why?
Posted: 12/16/2005 9:07:06 AM
I have always wanted a few rugrats running around screaming,messing up my home,destroying valuable things,keeping me up half the night,getting into trouble. Now if I could just find someone to marry me, we could start having babies.Will the day ever come.
 arabquene
Joined: 10/29/2005
Msg: 85
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Do you want kids or not and why?
Posted: 12/16/2005 9:09:50 AM
Who needs rugrats^^^I can come over, scream, mess up your home, destroy valuable things, keep you up half the night and get into trouble!!!
 Tinkle
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 86
Do you want kids or not and why?
Posted: 12/16/2005 9:15:49 AM
Kids get on my nerves. Only because they are influenced by silly adults. I MUCH prefer doggies. If I get rich someday and can really, really, really, take care of a kid, and my partner wants one, and we are mega-in-love, then maybe. Too many people are squeezing kidz out while they are kids themselves. Then the mommy and daddy (if he is still around) goes to work. TV raises kid. He grows up and acts like some sort of cartoon character and runs for the president. Other knuckleheads raised by Jerry Springer, or whatever sees *him* (can't be a she of course) and relate. Biggest knucklehead gets the votes. World perpetuates itself. Universe gives us aids, because we need it. (don't ask why many gays have the disease that's another story, eh em. )

Main reason for being here? Nope. Why would the method we need to arise from, need to be our reason for being? Kinda the cart before the horse. Ever watch a lava lamp? All the same goo, just clumpin together and splitting a part etc. We are googooheads.

Bill Hicks once said having a kid is no more miraculus than eating food and having a turd fall out of your butt. I went to public schools, he's right. The teachers there prove my point. Oh, yes, the kids are dumb too, I almost forgot.
 Keptreal
Joined: 11/24/2005
Msg: 87
Do you want kids or not and why?
Posted: 12/16/2005 9:38:14 AM
...hey "tinkle" (mindsky) who would of thought they catch you before me. No need to explain.
 Keptreal
Joined: 11/24/2005
Msg: 88
Do you want kids or not and why?
Posted: 12/16/2005 9:53:47 AM
...private joke people..good to see you haven't lost a beat "tinkle".
 Tinkle
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 89
Do you want kids or not and why?
Posted: 12/16/2005 10:28:02 AM
Hi. Thanks Kept. My profile explains what happened. Not what you think, heh.
 Keptreal
Joined: 11/24/2005
Msg: 90
Do you want kids or not and why?
Posted: 12/16/2005 12:11:18 PM
That's cool Tinkle. Thanks for clarifying that with me, you do however look like a troul in a fur coat. Just kidding. wait.
 tatalinia
Joined: 6/25/2004
Msg: 91
Do you want kids or not and why?
Posted: 12/16/2005 12:25:21 PM
dont think i want kids maybe cause im still a kid myself right now, but i just dont see where they would fit into my future an where im trying to direct my life. If i do end up having any i will only have one.
To many people bring little innocent lives into the world just to suffer, half of the children out there should of never been born.
 yep211
Joined: 7/6/2004
Msg: 92
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Do you want kids or not and why?
Posted: 12/16/2005 12:26:59 PM
i want kids because I hear baby back ribs are really good.
 mr.classicchevy
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 93
Do you want kids or not and why?
Posted: 12/16/2005 12:35:29 PM
I agree 100%.Miss TATALINA....I read on another thread that people that have kisd are more mature...That is so far from the truth...The fact of it is the divorce rate is staggering and alot of women out there are single with kids...
 cute_chica
Joined: 11/26/2005
Msg: 94
Do you want kids or not and why?
Posted: 12/16/2005 12:56:09 PM
I come from a big family and kids have never had a bad connotation for me. They've always been recieved in our family with lots of love and joy. Whether they were planned or not.

I personally would wait to be married and deeply in love with my husband. Then have kids.

I don't think there is anything better than blessing any potential kids with two parents who are deeply in love. And I don't think there would be anything more magical or beautiful than carrying the child I created with the man I loved. (there's lots of fun in the creation, too!)

If I reach a point where I don't think I can have kids of my own due to not meeting the right man, then I would be open to adopting or to meeting a man with kids.

And I would be open to adopting an older child if I had kids of my own or not. There are a lot of kids out there who deserve a good home. If I have the emotional and financial resources on my own (if I don't marry) then that is definately what I plan.

Guess I should start stocking away money in a college fund, eh?

I think kids are great! Especially my lil bro! And I hope HOPE hope my grown up bro and sis-in-law will give me a neice or nephew to spoil very very soon. heheheh It would be wierd to see my brother with a kid...tho. He'd be officially all grown up if he was a Dad...mind blowing!
 Blueberry
Joined: 5/14/2005
Msg: 95
Do you want kids or not and why?
Posted: 12/16/2005 1:21:32 PM
I don't think that procreation is our main reason for being brought on this earth. Some people can't have kids. And some people shouldn't have kids.

I do think that children are important, and should be cherished. For those of you who deeply desire to provide a loving caring solid home for children, I applaud you. It is a very special responsibility.

I personally have never had any desire to have kids, and still don't. I'm not a kid person at all. And worse, I can't stand "other people's kids". LOL. So many kids running around these days who are totally undiciplined brats. If I had a kid he/she would be playing with them. No thanks! LOL. For me, being an auntie is more than enough.

I think it's vital that a couple agrees on that issue before they consider marriage or any serious committment. I've known of marriages that broke up over it. Both people must agree, or it won't work in the end.
 Thudpucker
Joined: 8/14/2005
Msg: 96
Do you want kids or not and why?
Posted: 12/16/2005 1:28:48 PM
KIDS: the Ultimate –

I have three, and I love them all.

I had to support them for many years. I had to supply them with an education. I had to love them (I would have loved them anyway). I had to teach them skills for living. I gave hem a value system. I gave them advice. I gave them discipline. I fed them, I clothed them, I sheltered them, and I gave them a lot of free advice. I forgave them for their stupidity and praised them for their intelligence. I held my breath for them. I laughed with them and at them; I cried with them. I taught them how to drive and how to use a can opener. I taught them to love the out of doors and each other. I loaned them LOTS money (Yeah, I know you’ll pay it back.) I taught them about love, like, hate, trust, and riding a bicycle. I showed them how to laugh and how to love puppies.

I wouldn’t want to make that investment again.
 cute_chica
Joined: 11/26/2005
Msg: 97
Do you want kids or not and why?
Posted: 12/16/2005 2:23:37 PM
thudpucker

You got me all misty eyed. What a lovely way to express the sacrifices and beauty of parenthood. It is not be approached lightly.

That's why I'm waiting for the best scenerio to have them or not have them at all.
 Chatpilot
Joined: 9/5/2004
Msg: 98
Do you want kids or not and why?
Posted: 12/19/2005 1:45:10 PM
<-- wants kids someday. But not before I find a job where I can spend the majority of my nights at HOME.

20-25 nights/month away does not a father make.
 Blastkist
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 99
Do you want kids or not and why?
Posted: 12/19/2005 2:14:37 PM
I'd consider a man who has kids of his own already, but I don't want to be the oven for the bun anymore. I have enough precious darlings. It's time for some livin'.
 BartS!mpson
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 100
Do you want kids or not and why?
Posted: 12/19/2005 2:29:41 PM
I think that our main reason for being brought on this earth is to procreate. Agree or disagree?

I'd have to disagree with this statement for two reasons.
1) I don't believe there is a reason we're here, we just are due to evolution.
2) I've never seen any tangible proof showing that we were "brought" here.
Just like any other bacteria we feel the "need" to multiply, but I see no "reason" there.
If we were "brought" here as you stated, "who" exactly brought us here? "Where" did they bring us from?

I know I personally want kids but if I a guy I am seeing doesn't want kids...that's it. This is what I want...Some of you might already have kids so may not want anymore. What's your opinion?

I actually got a girlfriend pregnant when I was 14 and she was 15. Neither of us were prepared to become a parent. We were both just very careless and stupid regarding sex. She had a "miscarriage" during the pregnancy. I was sad, but relieved at the same time. She was just one of a few girls that I was sexually active with at the time. We were'nt "in love", but just horny teens.
That experience did put a "scare" into me, and it made me more responsible regarding my sex life after that. I have never came that close to fatherhood since then because I have'nt really met any woman yet that I would want to bear my child. I look at being a parent as a major responsibility, not as an "urge" to procreate or carry-on the family name.
I do know that I would have made a "good Dad" by the way I care for my Husky though. I've lived a very colourful, risky, and exciting lifestyle since the age of 9. Always being on my own allowed me to take chances that would only affect me. Getting a puppy changed all that though. Just having the responsibility of a puppy really changed my lifestyle from one extreme to the other. I went from being "Mr. Irresponsible" to being "Mr. Responsible" almost overnight.
After just turning 41 the other day, I doubt I'll father a child. But I would'nt rule out caring for an already existant child that has no father in their life.
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