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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Men seem to think bareback is ok even though they have no clue of you      Home login  
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 DebiDuzDishes
Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 501
What is it with men N freaking condoms!!!!!!!!!!!Page 21 of 24    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)
my insurance isnt gonna pay to have me tested on whim.. I get it done ONCE a year.. with my pap smear(ew.. did i actually type that?)

men have been lasting exactly a year lately anyhoo.. its all like clockwork.. lol

i havent contracted an std since i was married.. yes.. monogamously married.. figure THAT one out.(oh wait.. i divorced him)

*disclaimer.. trichamonas is curable.. and common
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 502
What is it with men N freaking condoms!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 3/17/2010 8:56:49 PM
Well everyone should be properly tested and know if they have an STD before starting a relationship.


So tell us then since you "know" what you are talking about, how long is the mean time HIV testing then?

Believe me, you'll be forming a relationship long before then according to your timeline. Do you have a magic crystal ball that tells you when you will be forming a relationship so that you know when to go get tested?!


I realize we're all individuals here but do I get this right that a woman is criticizing men in general for being TOO romantic? How many times in life do you hear that?


LOL - you see the thing is a lot of men claim that having these discussions (not just the condom part) takes the romance out of things - my point is, is that discovering you have something is even less romantic and I'm sure you would agree after your experience. Plus someone worrying about that while making love sure ain't feeling romantic. I wouldn't include you in that bunch because your post shows you to be responsible and respectful. You obviously are not saying it's all or nothing (or the other way around LOL), but I truly wonder how many people today are really that patient?

As I said, a risk is a risk is a risk, I just want to know the risk I'm possibly getting involved in and think someone should respect my health as I would theirs. If someone doesn't know they have something and it doesn't show up in tests, that is different. But I believe it important to have been tested if I plan on being with a new partner and I am just fine with no sex until we are both given the "go" and even then there are false positives, but at least we did what we could.


I don't hang out with IV drug users or promiscuous gays.


The person you sleep with could have had unprotected sex with the above or even unprotected sex with someone who had unprotected sex with someone who was bisexual. This is why discussion on sexual practices is important.

My point is not about how "risky" it is. My point is about how too many men talk down to women when they bring this up. It's disrespectful and half the time the men that do this, know NADA about the subject. A few men who have posted on here have not been disrespectful and do understand the risk and have clearly shown that. Others have only made themselves look even less educated.
 PrinceCharmingsCousin
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 503
What is it with men N freaking condoms!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 3/31/2010 1:23:23 PM
I think men try to get bareback not because they are trying to slight women or pull one over on em...but just cuz it feels WAY FRIGGIN BETTER....cover your sex organs with a ziplock or garbage bag...and try to get some pleasure.
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 504
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What is it with men N freaking condoms!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 3/31/2010 2:32:11 PM

I think men try to get bareback not because they are trying to slight women or pull one over on em...but just cuz it feels WAY FRIGGIN BETTER....cover your sex organs with a ziplock or garbage bag...and try to get some pleasure.

You posted before asking women to at least be more empathetic about how men feel about condoms. I agree wholeheartedly.
For me and MANY men there is NO PLEASURE in sex with a condom. That pretty much defeats the purpose of doing it as far as I'm concerned. and when I say No pleasure, I mean N-O-N-E.
I feel truly sorry for this generation of sexually active people who are scared to death of sex and "everything they might catch" from it.
My partner is a scientist who understands the true risks as defined by actual statistics and mathematical probabilities. Being in the biologicical sciences, she knows what's what as far as how disease is spread and what ones risk truly is; and believe me, she ain't worried.
It's just like the fears people have about "radioactivity" and other such things that cannot be seen or felt and are VERY misunderstood.
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 505
What is it with men N freaking condoms!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 3/31/2010 4:04:32 PM

You posted before asking women to at least be more empathetic about how men feel about condoms.


Many women are asking men to be more empathetic too. You think women don't realize how much condoms suck too? Women can usually tell the difference in their man, and if people are using dental dams and condoms for oral sex - that is certainly NOT that fun.


My partner is a scientist who understands the true risks as defined by actual statistics and mathematical probabilities.


So, the other scientists and doctors know nothing? An infectious disease specialist knows nothing? Believe me, they are not paranoid either. My CEO was an ID specialist and he and I chatted about SARS when it came out and he basically told me not to worry and I didn't. We also discussed STD's and there was no paranoia, but testing should be done and each person should understand that there could be a risk, but not to let it control you once testing is complete.

I MUST abort a child if I conceive. What if I couldn't take BC? Would a man like to be in my shoes if that happens? Can he empathize with that? No, he can't as the child is not in his body.


It's just like the fears people have about "radioactivity" and other such things that cannot be seen or felt and are VERY misunderstood.


What about those who have contracted something before due to not using a condom? Are they being paranoid simply because they wish to protect themselves in the future until both partners are "good to go" after testing?

Unless you've been in the shoes of someone who has an STD or had one or had to abort due to a man not wanting to use a condom and her giving in even though she tried to explain to him; you really cannot truly understand this.

I would like to hear from people in the above situations. Most folks are ready and eager to go for testing and will find compromises around that (one man said he preferred no sex rather than use a condom). Wouldn't one think that when a couple compromises and truly tries to understand rather than force their rigid thinking on each other, they are being empathetic?
 Fabulicious1
Joined: 12/25/2009
Msg: 506
What is it with men N freaking condoms!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 4/3/2010 10:28:19 AM
Because if we do bring our own we get into the double standard of they think we sleep around. All double standards are alive & well.
 Slug-Bug
Joined: 3/31/2010
Msg: 507
What is it with men N freaking condoms!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 4/3/2010 1:04:33 PM
In the last few months since my separation i've been with two women in this area. BOTH of them said that they never used condoms because they didn't like them and wanted to go bareback (which I didn't). Now, I don't know if it's indicative of a wide-spread belief in this area, but i'm thinking WTF? In this day and, are you serious? I'm all for going bareback with the right woman that i'm in a committed relationship with, but why the desire to go on without shielding so soon?

Maybe i've just been out of the dating circles too long and this is all the rage among the kids these days. :)
 TOwoman1
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 508
What is it with men N freaking condoms!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 4/3/2010 3:03:31 PM
Well, I don't know if [this is all the rage among the kids these days] in Florida, but in Canada, according to our latest stats, the younger ones are using condoms more consistently than the older ones. The older heterosexual teens tend to drop the condom when the women go on the pill. The problem is, of course, that they do that before getting tested. Your experience sounds downright scary.
 mr. bass
Joined: 8/6/2008
Msg: 509
What is it with men N freaking condoms!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 11/3/2010 1:03:23 AM
no glove no love
 gliding262
Joined: 3/14/2010
Msg: 510
What is it with men N freaking condoms!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 11/3/2010 5:31:25 AM
Wow I just read this entire thread. HPV is a good reason why women should make a guy wear a condom, however many people pass the virus without it being a problem, and there are numerous versions of the virus, not all cause cancer. BUT it is a good reason for a women to insist on a condom.

HIV is out there, stay away from high risk groups and your chances of catching it go way down.

HOWEVER everyone I know who has caught a STD caught one that is not passed through fluids. Two people I know have had Muluscum and one person caught Herpes from kissing someone.

You have a better chance running into one of these then you do HIV. Get tested before starting anything with someone new, and expect a test from the other person before getting frisky and your chances of catching anything will be very low--not zero--but low.
 Just_Jay79
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 511
What is it with men N freaking condoms!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 11/3/2010 6:29:38 AM
Like some other posters have alluded, some men simply have impeded sexual function with condoms. I only recently confirmed that I seem to be such a person.

For the first 10 years of my sexually-active life I always used condoms, and always found it difficult to finish unless I had held off on touching myself for a week (at which point I was so hard up that a light warm breeze could probably finish me off).


However each time I actually tried to get physical with my past girlfriends, I was sailing at 3/4 mast and eventually things would fizzle after a good 15-20 minutes. Usually it was long enough for her to get off, but I seldom finished unless it was with a BJ/HJ afterward. I assumed it was nerves since that can also play with a man's mojo, and I still wasn't that experienced (up to mid 20's).

I had my first isolated bareback experience a few years ago and it was mind-blowing the difference it made, but since the girl I was with was such a firecracker, I chalked it up to her skills & enthusiasm rather than the shift in sensation. When we split, back to condom sex and lackluster experiences... :(

Finally last year I started having bareback again, regularly this time, and sure enough this trumped all past sexual experiences. Even if I'm only barely in the mood at the beginning, the improved sensation snaps me to full attention regardless of how many times I may have gone before. Recharge time is also greatly reduced (in some cases down right eliminated if I don't stop the stroke), and enjoyment is through the roof.

I don't advocate having unprotected sex with strangers - you should get yourself AND your partner tested BEFORE engaging in such a risky activity. Also regardless of if you're monogamous, ensure that your trust is validated, as you are playing with your life. But if you are lucky enough to HAVE a partner that is trustworthy, the sex is top notch.

I leave pregnancy concerns to another thread/debate.
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 512
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What is it with men N freaking condoms!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 11/3/2010 8:08:19 AM
I don't think many people are about to say that a condom makes sex more fun. But so be it. A more direct solution for women who are worried about catching some horrible disease would be to choose their boyfriends a little more carefully. If a woman suspects that the guy she's with may be infected with something, I can't see how she could relax and have much fun.

And I sure wouldn't want to think the woman I was with was wondering if I were safe. The doubts and suspicions and concerns about intimacy with someone already interfere enough, without adding another source of them to the mix.
 DemonLeather
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 513
What is it with men N freaking condoms!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 11/3/2010 10:36:29 AM
hmmm,.. like fukkin in a frikkin sock! roll a newspaper up, and try it,. see if you like it..
The no glove-no love thing is a joke too,.. that goes right along with: "I'll make out with you,. but you're not getting anything tonight, ok?" Do what ya want, say what ya want,.. it's all good.. As far as catching anything... MAN,.. if I don't have something by now, I have something that EATS it...I haven't caught anything yet,. not even crotch crab.. but then I'll probably be the first confirmed case of "Herpaids" Besides,.. I'm tired of having death at my shoulder,.. The reaper needs to step around front,..so I can look them in the eyes,.. I've always suspected Death a woman...if so, "lay on on me baby.. I'm ready.."
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 514
What is it with men N freaking condoms!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 11/3/2010 11:23:27 AM
Before I know someone very well, I insist on protection. It's not fool proof and they don't protect against every disease, but they're better than nothing and I NEVER trust a woman I'm not very familiar with that she's on birth control and actually doing it right.

Sorry, I'm not going to be one of those guys who's girl swore she was on birth control during the baby shower but got pregnant anyway.

Otherwise, they impede sexual pleasure. And for those ladies who complain, close your legs if you don't like what he's doing or what he's about; tell him to fvck off and get him out of your life. If he continues, it's called rape and it's a felony offense.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 515
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What is it with men N freaking condoms!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 11/3/2010 11:43:55 AM
Before beating up on each other, why not try to understand the mechanics of it first. It's not that men are so stupid, but that condoms do effect them entirely different. The condom on a penis puts a bearer between his nerve endings and the friction because the condom is static or not moving on him. The opposite is true for the woman....since the condom slides against her, it produces nearly the same friction as a bare penis. It does become very difficult and sometimes impossible for a man to climax under these conditions....especially if he came out of a marriage, and adjusted to the normal friction of natural sex. Going from one to another is like day and night. It is a sad state of affairs, that some bio engineers have turned viruses loose on the world that's robbed us of even the most primal pleasures....but that's the way it is. I do believe in safe sex or none at all. It has made dating a real problem for us....but a real money maker for the medical community. It's also doing a fair job of population control. Hummmm...could there be another conspiracy going on?
 Just_Jay79
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 516
What is it with men N freaking condoms!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 11/3/2010 11:56:42 AM

Sorry, I'm not going to be one of those guys who's girl swore she was on birth control during the baby shower but got pregnant anyway.

That's why my girlfriend got the birth control PATCH. It's a giant Band-Aid worn on the buttocks or just above, rotating the application point each week. Hormones absorbed through the skin.

Man that thing is a Godsend for both of us -
a) for her, because she simply has to slap a new one on each Friday which is far easier to remember, and can even go 2-3 days beyond without resuming fertility. No worrying about missing the scheduled daily pill time and worrying about the consequences...

b) for ME because I can be sure she's WEARING IT. I can usually see it just popping out of the top of her pants when she bends over, even on the days I don't see her naked. The thing is pretty waterproof too, though we've occasionally had to tape the sucker down after a prolonged bath or shower.

The patch, combined with monitoring your partner's menstrual cycle can be an excellent anti-'oops' protection scheme... Women are most fertile for around 10-14 days starting a week after their period ends, depending on their cycle variation (26-32 days), according to the pregnancy book I read...
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 517
What is it with men N freaking condoms!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 11/3/2010 12:03:54 PM
^^^ Right, committed relationships are another story.
You actually know the person and hopefully have complete trust in eachother. I was referring to a new relationship or some kind of fling type deal, where I always put on a rubber.

The patch sounds good. We're using the ring now, and she's happy because her skin cleared up for whatever reason. She claims she would wear it whether having sex or not...
 MisterDynomite
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 518
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What is it with men N freaking condoms!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 11/3/2010 5:12:24 PM

men seem to think bareback is ok even though they have no clue of your oast, they assume its cool cause they say (FAMOUS LINE)---> "dont worry i wont cum in you"


Really? I find it kind of funny that a few times when i had a condom with me when i was about to have sex (clothes are half off at this point), the girl turns to me and says "You actually brought a condom... ugh.. you mean you were expecting this?? You came all prepared for this didn't you? playerrrrr!"

Doesn't matter what we men do, we always get burned weather we come prepared or not.... but the discouragement didn't stop this "player" from protecting myself when needed.


So we'll protect you, and me.. but mainly me / If you don't want no rubber then P-E-A-C-E


 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 519
What is it with men N freaking condoms!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 11/3/2010 5:37:08 PM
Carry your own condoms and quit your b!tchin'.


And just in case it hasn't been mentioned.... I've turned down sex because there was no condom, and been treated as though I had suggested the lady was unclean or unsafe. Men are not the only ones who are willing to take chances with unprotected sex.
 Yew4ics
Joined: 9/30/2010
Msg: 520
What is it with men N freaking condoms!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 11/3/2010 6:13:31 PM
If you don't know the guy real well, use a concom. If you have had time to get to know and trust each other, then ditch the condom. It's not rocket science. But I do think if it's a just met you encounter, the responsibility to have one, is on the guy....Are they one size fits all? Arent some too small for bigger penises? How cheesy would it be to open my drawer and ask some guy to pick one out, out of several.
 PrinceCharmingsCousin
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 521
What is it with men N freaking condoms!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 11/3/2010 6:41:27 PM
Just_jay: im with you on that man...sex with a rubber = lack luster/I have to debate whether I actually want to bother or not...because it really doesn't turn me on or feel that great and 8/10 times I can't finish with one on.

but at the same time i'd rather be healthy.

Definitely though when i'm in a relationship...DITCH the condoms!!
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 522
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What is it with men N freaking condoms!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 11/3/2010 8:12:06 PM

But I do think if it's a just met you encounter, the responsibility to have one, is on the guy....Are they one size fits all? Arent some too small for bigger penises? How cheesy would it be to open my drawer and ask some guy to pick one out, out of several.

I agree it would save a few red faces if the man provided his own condom....
especially if the one's the woman has....is too big for the new guy!!
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 523
What is it with men N freaking condoms!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 11/3/2010 10:19:59 PM
"..sorry we cant have sex as i have no condoms"
I've said it.

"why ASSUME no condoms is a good thing? Like fuk i dont know where u have been !!! sorry men but this is rather annoying especially cause it happens over n over arent u guys worried about any risks???"

So like what are you, the village bicycle?
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 524
What is it with men N freaking condoms!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 11/3/2010 10:39:29 PM
Hey yall women got these big clunky purses full of junk.
There is certainly room for a few love gloves in there.
Geez.
Yall dames want to throw us guys down.
Have your way with us.
and not carry protection?

Where are we supposed to carry those things?
In our pockets where our keys will rip em open?
In our wallets where they pop out in church while tithing?
I mean think this thru.

...if yall want to mix it up with guys.
come prepared.
We'll take it from there.
:-P
 Yew4ics
Joined: 9/30/2010
Msg: 525
What is it with men N freaking condoms!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 11/4/2010 4:05:14 AM

Where are we supposed to carry those things?
In our pockets where our keys will rip em open?
In our wallets where they pop out in church while tithing?
I mean think this thru.


LMAO......nice try.
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