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 cashleys
Joined: 8/10/2012
Msg: 289
Can you forgive a one time cheater?Page 17 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
Each situation is different, but when your character shows you cant' be trusted and a liar, it will take a whole lot to fix the broken promises. It can happen but usually never works out in the long run.
 checkinguoutnow
Joined: 12/31/2012
Msg: 290
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 1/3/2013 11:51:10 PM
I think that you already know whether your boyfriend is the type of person you cannot trust, or something happened that he is in deep regret over. Good communication is always the key. If you think you can trust him not to do it again I would give him another chance. If you suspect that you cannot have a mutually good relationship with him I would let him go. You need to make a decision and verbally tell him, otherwise he will think it doesn't matter. Good luck...I hope everything works out for you!
 Cmwtine1
Joined: 12/27/2012
Msg: 291
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 1/4/2013 2:02:51 AM
I have forgiven my recent ex bf for cheating on me while he was blacked out drunk. Sadly, he was also in a situation where he could not stay with me. He is too honorable to not be with the other girl.
 riverdog120
Joined: 8/3/2011
Msg: 293
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Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 1/4/2013 4:39:50 AM
NO!!!!! Once a cheater always a cheater! Been there twice; never again!
 Perspektiv
Joined: 10/31/2012
Msg: 294
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 1/4/2013 4:47:56 AM
Forgive?

Absolutely. I'm a highly forgiving person, at a fault.

That said, the blatant lack of disrespect involved in someone going behind my back and cheating on me, is something I can't forget.

In that type of situation where I'm stabbed in the back like that, I've forgiven the person, and wished them well and ended the relationship.

My forgiving you, is essentially me giving myself the closure, you didn't have the character to give me. If you have that little respect for me, you don't deserve the satisfaction of me getting upset at you.

I don't buy the excuse of "cheating by accident".

Cheating is a choice, and someone not admitting to the poor nature of their choice, is not only stabbing me in the back, but insulting my intelligence.

I don't know about you, but that doesn't sound like relationship material to me. I'd cut my losses, and would be quick to move on.
 THEMEPACK
Joined: 12/17/2012
Msg: 295
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 1/4/2013 5:22:47 AM
I would think the odds are////// you are married or dating a cheater....right now.
 The_Whole_of_the_Moon
Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 296
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 1/4/2013 5:33:14 AM
There is no real way to know if someone is a one time cheater, you can only take their word for it. If a cheater wants forgiveness and the other is willing to forgive then the cheater can no longer consider their cell phone or computer private. This would be a very important way to prove they are being faithful.
 Dramafreeee
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 297
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 1/4/2013 7:22:39 AM
NEVER!
That just breaks to many relationship ethics, not just cheating..
 IPromise2Please
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 298
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Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 1/10/2013 10:21:59 AM
I have forgiven people for cheating before. My self esteem was so low I thought I couldnt get anyone else so I stayed. Im glad those days for me are over. The relationships dont last because it will always be in the back of your mind whenever someone comes along into their life that they have cheated on you before.
 warriorpoet82
Joined: 12/13/2012
Msg: 300
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 2/23/2013 1:59:41 PM
As a self proclaimed relationship psychologist,

I've heard it said: "Forgiving someone who hurts you is the greatest gift you can give them. Forgetting someone who hurts you is the greatest gift you can give yourself."

A chronic sociopath shouldn't be forgiven. If the cheating been going on for a long time and the cheater shows no change in personality, apparent love, sensibility, etc, and then gets caught, and is all of a sudden distraught and sorry, leave them. Looking back during their escapades, the cheater was completely okay with their actions on a deep level and is a genuinely selfish person. This person gets forgotten immediately. They must go "find themselves" if they want a long term relationship, or stay the heck out of committed relationships and be single forever.

Keeping that in mind, I think that good people can crack under stressors, go through crises, and do bad, selfish things that hurt others while beside themselves. Should the cheater clearly be a "different person" during the fling who behaves and acts differently, perhaps they aren't a cheater at heart. There was a good person inside them that felt/feels awful, causing the outward emotional or personality change. In my mind, that person gets forgiven once, only after diving into what it was about the relationship or cheating-member that led to the betrayal, and seriously working it out as a couple. If this person cheats a second time, they are broken, and must be forgotten.

If that's too complicated to work out in an emotional time, give the benefit of the doubt and forgive them, and dive into the issues the relationship has. True love forgives: ONCE. The divorce rate these days is incomprehensible. Many people are throwing the towel in because they got hurt, once, and don't want to understand why. Really WHY?, not just immediately blaming the former S.O. for being a sociopath.
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