Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > dating an overweight person?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 EC22
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 526
dating an overweight person?Page 22 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
People gain and lose weight... for some of these people to say they dont date overweight people.... is stupid, sure they may be thing when you meet them, but after a few children, hormone changes or medical issues... they may find themselves overweight or their partner.... are they going to dump them or be dumped for weight?


Why it is stupid for someone to say that they wouldn't date fat people? Maybe he or she simply isn't attracted to fat people? Would you date someone that you aren't attracted to? I don't think many people would complain if their spouse gained 20-25 lbs because age or having children. I think many people would object to a spouse who let him/herself go after marriage and gained 50-100 lbs due to a poor diet or lack of exercise. Your comparisons to penis size and money don't make any sense. Dating a person ONLY because of money is shallow. Not dating a fat person because of lack of attraction is NOT shallow. Penis size is never controllable. Weight is controllable in most cases.


She was always a looker, and as she dropped the weight people around her who had never taken notice before started asking her out, etc. It bothered her because in her words "Where the heck were they when I was heavy?". They all of course get snubbed.

So good for her for loosing the weight, for getting some validation, and maybe a bit of revenge on the shallow people who had no interest in her before.


Once again, a man is NOT necessary shallow because he isn't attracted to fat women. Sometimes a woman can change her appearance and become more attractive whether it's by losing weight, changing her hairstyle or wardrobe among other things. Sometimes she just simply wasn't his physical type before, but now she is his physical type. Nothing wrong with that IMO.


 Life Is Best When Shared
Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 527
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 9/6/2007 8:33:57 AM
Hi Everyone,

Sure looking good is great but in friendship dating the bottom line for me... Is someone active and in shape enough to do outgoing things without risk to their life and limb. If you are overweight then you are likely going to have trouble with any outgoing activity that requires some cardio.

I really empathize with overweight people but I can honestly tell all of them that I'm getting far more out of life by being active and in better shape than I was when I was far more overweight and complacent about things. It's really an honest truth. And for the record, I'm far from getting the most out of myself yet and I don't ever want to stop!! :)

You date what you want out of life. You date the lifestyle you live. It's as simple as that.

Marco
 bosoxx
Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 528
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 9/6/2007 2:33:22 PM
I think some of this really depends on clarification.Is this a woman I just met? someone i've loved for some yrs...That's a big difference! Just meeting for the first time to find a possible connection?No I don't like to date overweight people.No disrespect meant,just my likes.I wouldn't be entirely thrilled if my g/f-wife had let herself get overweight either but it doesn't mean I wouldn't love her.It's all about what everybody likes,personal preferences.....That's why we live in a place like America!
 honeybee_luv
Joined: 8/31/2007
Msg: 529
view profile
History
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 9/6/2007 3:31:16 PM
I totally agree with you. I have been the skinny girl to the huge girl.(women).
 honeybee_luv
Joined: 8/31/2007
Msg: 530
view profile
History
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 9/6/2007 3:38:45 PM
Look at because she looks good?....Beauty come from the inside. I did not look at your profile...my guess is you are very young...."EGO"....what do you want in life beside the trophy girl?
 brock11
Joined: 8/6/2007
Msg: 531
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 9/6/2007 9:17:52 PM

Beauty come from the inside. I did not look at your profile...my guess is you are very young...."EGO"....what do you want in life beside the trophy girl?


I mentioned the statement below on another thread and it also applies here.


I don't care how 'beautiful' a woman is on the inside, if there isn't at least some physical attraction then I would only be friends with her, not date her.
 nogo3
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 532
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 9/8/2007 4:07:19 AM
Why do most of the fat broads use that worn out phrase " you have to see the inside beauty."

how long could you look into a pool of vomit to look at a pretty shiney diamond in the middle of it, I bet not very long without getting kinda sick.

fat is ugly, who wants to see it day after day when they can choose something that looks nice.
 jessica4u
Joined: 4/28/2007
Msg: 533
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 9/8/2007 4:23:23 AM
nogo3 the only vomit I cant stand is your nasty attitude. grow up.
 trishfungirl
Joined: 6/17/2007
Msg: 534
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 9/8/2007 5:09:02 AM
I guess you mean obese by "very overweight". I once dated a guy who had lost over 125lbst the year before I met him. When we first met he wore suits that covered the weight well. He told me at the time that he could do whatever he put his mind to, so he hired a personal trainer and exercised regularly ( but no official diets). Well he soon plateau-ed and was stuck with a body that had a double D chest (breasts) and a spare tire that hung over everything. I mean everything. The worse part was that no one was allowed to talk about this with him.... I mean the next serious step in weight loss was a taboo subject. Someone once said he would always have this overweight-body image problem. For him it certainly seemed a life-long issue.
 nogo3
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 535
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 9/8/2007 8:00:46 AM
LMAO, you must be a fat chic, and ur funny
 searchinglove
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 536
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 9/8/2007 9:03:03 AM
in the words of my best friend.." i'm really a size 8 i'm just retaining a lot of water this month"
 becca210
Joined: 7/26/2006
Msg: 537
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 9/9/2007 12:06:42 PM
I can't believe I am commenting on this subject, yet again. However, there are so many valid comments from everyone. As stated before, I am very overweight. Spent most of my life this way and once lost considerable weight after some surgery.
The difference in my weight made NO difference in my life. I've always had adequate attention from guys. I've been married. I've dated awesome men and am quite happy as we speak. In reading here, I think the key is still the attitude of the individual (the overweight one). If that person is confident and vibrant and interesting......the weight is not the first
thing you see. If that person lacks confidence and hides in their problem...it is evident to
others. Any guys that don't do FAT.....so be it. I don't do JERKS, LOSERS, SMOKERS, DEADBEATS and a number of other issues that have come up in my many years.
We are all different. Celebrate our difference but be TOLERANT. Regardless of whatever...I try to never be rude and uncaring. I've never told anyone they were ugly.
Any woman that would do that is just too into themselves. Who would want to date
that person anyway?
I say if you lack confidence.....do whatever it takes to gain it.....and if loosing weight is
the only way....then get busy.
Becca
 tsweetp
Joined: 9/3/2007
Msg: 538
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 9/13/2007 9:29:57 AM
Amen Becca! I couldn't have said it better myself. You gotta be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else.

If a guy isn't attracted to me because I'm fat, then so be it. There are plenty others who are.

And the folks who resort to name calling, etc they aren't worth your time either.

Just try to be happy.
 Engage-me
Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 539
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 9/13/2007 9:54:39 AM
The range of women I have dated/married goes from callista flockhart to mama cass in size/shape. But I would not date a woman with a bad attitude no matter how desirable she was otherwise. And a whiner is a whiner no matter what they weigh.
 learnerdarling
Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 540
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 9/19/2007 8:03:52 AM
big women there is more to hold and love ,
 KBnCO
Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 541
view profile
History
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 9/19/2007 8:46:07 AM
To; the Kevlar...

it shouldn't matter if anyones overweight
its not healthy
but basing a relationship on appearance is just ignorant


BRAVO...well said!

I can't find a decent man that will accept me & I'm not changing for anyone 'cept myself!
 chitownartlover
Joined: 8/2/2006
Msg: 542
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 10/6/2007 7:17:34 PM
I look at weight simply as a matter of one's personal tastes.

I will be honest. I am not into obese people. Now when I talk about "obese", I mean women who look like the "before" picture for a Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers commercial. Very large women. I'm NOT talking about the woman who may have a tiny bit of pudge or feels she would not look good in a bikini. If she's got a large gut, big arse, double-chins, etc...I'm sorry, but I'm not interested.

Most men I know of aren't out there thinking Victoria's Secret models are the only "ideal" in terms of women, but they are not into women who are just plain large. Granted I have seen men who do like large (BBW) women. Good for them and good for the women, however, I'm not.

I wouldn't base a relationship entirely on physical appearance, but physical attraction is just as important to me as emotional, intellectual, and spiritual attraction. I need to like this woman on all levels, not just one or a few. She could look like Adriana Lima, but if she's got nothing to offer in terms of a brain, healthy mind, and great personality, then I'm not interested. It's why I won't message the pretty girls who post images of themselves in lingerie and bikinis, but really say nothing in terms of who they are inside.

And I don't feel like I am a jerk or shallow for my tastes. I eat right, exercise, take care of myself both in body and mind. I like women who are of the same mind and lifestyle. That's what finding a mate is all about. Not fairytales of frogs and princesses or ogres and fair maidens...just of people finding those they connect with on all levels, not just physical.
 rosannern1951
Joined: 9/13/2007
Msg: 543
view profile
History
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 10/6/2007 7:28:35 PM
what does that mean???
 Fleur_de_Lis
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 544
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 11/17/2008 3:46:32 PM
"Where the heck were they when I was heavy?". They all of course get snubbed.


That's a shitty attitude - how many 300 lb men did she date before she got big?

 michigangirly
Joined: 11/7/2008
Msg: 545
view profile
History
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 11/17/2008 10:08:49 PM
Actually, I use to be alot fatter than I am now. I lost a bunch of weight when I was with my ex and he's now my ex because i lost the weight. Who dates someone then leaves them cuz they have a better body then before?
 spicynicegirl
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 546
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 11/17/2008 11:45:43 PM
Well I suppose it depends what each person considers "overweight". I know some guys that would consider me overweight and technically I am. I'm currently 15 kgs overweight. But I'm not obese.

Still these same guys would consider me cuddly so I'm not considered good enough. Other guys I have known consider me average and were happy to date me.

I have never had an issue with my weight. I was always around a size 12 and now I'm between 14-16.
Not small - not huge, just some extra fat around little parts of me.

I never judge a man by his weight. I was crazy over a guy when I was 20 something who was huge. Handsome guy though. Very smart too but had a girlfriend.................just my luck.
 LuvMunkie
Joined: 11/4/2006
Msg: 547
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 11/18/2008 12:58:39 AM
I found this post interesting...and kinda revealing of my own psyche. I personally don't mind a girl with a little meat on her bones, in fact I kinda prefer it. But at the same time...I also have an appreciation for those that are trim and take care of themselves. I think it's all really in the personality. I've been with tiny girls obsessed with their weight and wouldn't drink anything but water or have a salad...and they sat there and put themselves down all the time, even if they happened to be a knockout. On the flip side, I've been with a couple girls who were easily my size or larger, but they were cute, and confident, and comfortable with themselves. I think that's really all that's important in the situation...how they feel in their own skin. On a personal side note, I myself used to be about 250lbs back in high school, and have worked hard to get the weight off and be fit...so I kinda relate a bit more to those that are comfortable with themselves.
 Msproton
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 548
view profile
History
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 11/18/2008 5:23:14 PM
WOW LUVMUNKIE

that respose was just wonderful. I think most girls would agree with me.
 diamondgirl2727
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 549
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 11/18/2008 5:34:55 PM
I gained a lot of weight married to the second abusive jerk. after I got rid of him I lost the weight, he wanted to know how, I told him I got rid of all the crap in my life, it took him a few seconds to catch my drift, the look was worth it ! lol! Now, men fall all over themselves to be nice to me, something that never happened when I was heavier. It actually angers me that they behave this way, afterall I am still the same person, only the number on the tag inside my clothes has changed. I am still curvy, which I prefer over bony thin, and I havent had plastic surgery so my face is the same. I also hate when a man on these sites wants to see revealing pics or a detailed description of my body, I tell them truthfully and if they dont like it they can go to ..... well, I just block them!
 ~AngelKiss~
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 550
view profile
History
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 11/18/2008 8:15:52 PM
I happen to be a larger person and yes I have been rejected on occasion. (ok maybe more than on occasion...lol) I just chalk it up to attraction, I wouldn't date someone I wasn't attracted to and I wouldn't expect a man to either. You may call me shallow also because I am not attracted to everyone. I have dated skinny, big, short, and tall men since I don't really have a certain "type" I go for but there has to be some kind of attraction there.

Have I ever lost weight to prove something to a man? Nope! And don't plan to. I have lost a lot of weight since my divorce but I think that is due to the reduction of stress in my life. I haven't really tried to lose weight but when you are happy with who you are things just kind of fall into place, at least for me they have.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > dating an overweight person?