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Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 539
dating an overweight person?Page 23 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
The range of women I have dated/married goes from callista flockhart to mama cass in size/shape. But I would not date a woman with a bad attitude no matter how desirable she was otherwise. And a whiner is a whiner no matter what they weigh.
Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 540
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 9/19/2007 8:03:52 AM
big women there is more to hold and love ,
Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 541
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dating an overweight person?
Posted: 9/19/2007 8:46:07 AM
To; the Kevlar...

it shouldn't matter if anyones overweight
its not healthy
but basing a relationship on appearance is just ignorant

BRAVO...well said!

I can't find a decent man that will accept me & I'm not changing for anyone 'cept myself!
Joined: 8/2/2006
Msg: 542
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 10/6/2007 7:17:34 PM
I look at weight simply as a matter of one's personal tastes.

I will be honest. I am not into obese people. Now when I talk about "obese", I mean women who look like the "before" picture for a Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers commercial. Very large women. I'm NOT talking about the woman who may have a tiny bit of pudge or feels she would not look good in a bikini. If she's got a large gut, big arse, double-chins, etc...I'm sorry, but I'm not interested.

Most men I know of aren't out there thinking Victoria's Secret models are the only "ideal" in terms of women, but they are not into women who are just plain large. Granted I have seen men who do like large (BBW) women. Good for them and good for the women, however, I'm not.

I wouldn't base a relationship entirely on physical appearance, but physical attraction is just as important to me as emotional, intellectual, and spiritual attraction. I need to like this woman on all levels, not just one or a few. She could look like Adriana Lima, but if she's got nothing to offer in terms of a brain, healthy mind, and great personality, then I'm not interested. It's why I won't message the pretty girls who post images of themselves in lingerie and bikinis, but really say nothing in terms of who they are inside.

And I don't feel like I am a jerk or shallow for my tastes. I eat right, exercise, take care of myself both in body and mind. I like women who are of the same mind and lifestyle. That's what finding a mate is all about. Not fairytales of frogs and princesses or ogres and fair maidens...just of people finding those they connect with on all levels, not just physical.
Joined: 9/13/2007
Msg: 543
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dating an overweight person?
Posted: 10/6/2007 7:28:35 PM
what does that mean???
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 544
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 11/17/2008 3:46:32 PM
"Where the heck were they when I was heavy?". They all of course get snubbed.

That's a shitty attitude - how many 300 lb men did she date before she got big?

Joined: 11/7/2008
Msg: 545
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dating an overweight person?
Posted: 11/17/2008 10:08:49 PM
Actually, I use to be alot fatter than I am now. I lost a bunch of weight when I was with my ex and he's now my ex because i lost the weight. Who dates someone then leaves them cuz they have a better body then before?
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 546
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 11/17/2008 11:45:43 PM
Well I suppose it depends what each person considers "overweight". I know some guys that would consider me overweight and technically I am. I'm currently 15 kgs overweight. But I'm not obese.

Still these same guys would consider me cuddly so I'm not considered good enough. Other guys I have known consider me average and were happy to date me.

I have never had an issue with my weight. I was always around a size 12 and now I'm between 14-16.
Not small - not huge, just some extra fat around little parts of me.

I never judge a man by his weight. I was crazy over a guy when I was 20 something who was huge. Handsome guy though. Very smart too but had a girlfriend.................just my luck.
Joined: 11/4/2006
Msg: 547
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 11/18/2008 12:58:39 AM
I found this post interesting...and kinda revealing of my own psyche. I personally don't mind a girl with a little meat on her bones, in fact I kinda prefer it. But at the same time...I also have an appreciation for those that are trim and take care of themselves. I think it's all really in the personality. I've been with tiny girls obsessed with their weight and wouldn't drink anything but water or have a salad...and they sat there and put themselves down all the time, even if they happened to be a knockout. On the flip side, I've been with a couple girls who were easily my size or larger, but they were cute, and confident, and comfortable with themselves. I think that's really all that's important in the they feel in their own skin. On a personal side note, I myself used to be about 250lbs back in high school, and have worked hard to get the weight off and be I kinda relate a bit more to those that are comfortable with themselves.
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 548
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dating an overweight person?
Posted: 11/18/2008 5:23:14 PM

that respose was just wonderful. I think most girls would agree with me.
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 549
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 11/18/2008 5:34:55 PM
I gained a lot of weight married to the second abusive jerk. after I got rid of him I lost the weight, he wanted to know how, I told him I got rid of all the crap in my life, it took him a few seconds to catch my drift, the look was worth it ! lol! Now, men fall all over themselves to be nice to me, something that never happened when I was heavier. It actually angers me that they behave this way, afterall I am still the same person, only the number on the tag inside my clothes has changed. I am still curvy, which I prefer over bony thin, and I havent had plastic surgery so my face is the same. I also hate when a man on these sites wants to see revealing pics or a detailed description of my body, I tell them truthfully and if they dont like it they can go to ..... well, I just block them!
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 550
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dating an overweight person?
Posted: 11/18/2008 8:15:52 PM
I happen to be a larger person and yes I have been rejected on occasion. (ok maybe more than on I just chalk it up to attraction, I wouldn't date someone I wasn't attracted to and I wouldn't expect a man to either. You may call me shallow also because I am not attracted to everyone. I have dated skinny, big, short, and tall men since I don't really have a certain "type" I go for but there has to be some kind of attraction there.

Have I ever lost weight to prove something to a man? Nope! And don't plan to. I have lost a lot of weight since my divorce but I think that is due to the reduction of stress in my life. I haven't really tried to lose weight but when you are happy with who you are things just kind of fall into place, at least for me they have.
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 551
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 11/18/2008 8:50:56 PM
No and no...

It seems to me that you're saying that by losing weight one becomes a more acceptable, better and more desired person therefore the one who snubbed you will now be jealous and want you;however, I don't get it, as someone can snub you for many reasons, your weight not if you are slim and got snubbed, your weight is not the issue so how would you show them what they lost then? *confused face*

Actually, I use to be alot fatter than I am now. I lost a bunch of weight when I was with my ex and he's now my ex because i lost the weight. Who dates someone then leaves them cuz they have a better body then before?

Ahhh the assumption by you and the poster and society in general is that everyone likes slim. When in reality MOST may...but not all. There are cultures and just individuals that find bigger people attractive. So therefore, your man may have been physically attracted to you when you were a bigger size and when you lost weight you no longer appealed to him cause your body changed from what he likes. Just like when some gain weight their partner dislikes it, it can work in the opposite direction. A "better body" is therefore a subjective thing. I have heard men say they became more attracted to their wives/gf when they were pregnant because they were fuller (bigger breasts, bigger butt, more "filled out" etc). Then when they lost all the baby weight...the attraction decreased. So it really depends...which is why I feel that one has to change for ONE'S SELF and not to attract men/women because no matter how you look someone will like it or dislike it. So it makes no sense to lose weight for someone and then you break up anyway and then person B comes along and says "You know I would like you to be a bit thicker"...then you do it...break up and the cycle continues of different ppl being attracted to diff things and u changing to please their taste.
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 552
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 11/19/2008 8:51:29 AM
Some women have complained about more men being attracted to them after the weight loss. Because they feel that they were the same person before and after the weight loss . IMO that's not true. Physical appearance is a part of who you are. Physical attraction is a part of having a romantic relationship. When a person loses or gains a lot of weight, they look a lot different. Therefore the level of physical attraction can change. When you see a random stranger, the only thing you can determine about that person right away is physical attraction. That doesn't necessary mean that someone doesn't care about other things such as personality.
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 553
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 11/19/2008 5:17:51 PM
love2ourmilitary, some men feel very threatened when their wives/gf's lose weight, and so do some women when you turn it around. perhaps they feel men will be falling all over you. maybe they just like heavier women - who knows?

I prefer slimmer people, but I'd date John Goodman in a heartbeat!
Joined: 8/25/2008
Msg: 554
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 11/19/2008 5:51:25 PM
I would tend to think that working on whom you are is antithetical to being comfortable in your own skin.

If I like me the way that I am, then I don't need to work on being me or work on changing me.

Personally, I did the health and fitness kick for two years. I was a rock solid 195lbs., WITH a belly! There was NO change in workout regimen that I could have done. I DID the height weight and low rep. I DID the lighter weight and high rep. I DID the resistance training. I did the track. I DID the stair stepper. ETC.

What did I discover?

It totally consumed me and my life.

I was NO happier.

I was LESS tolerant and accepting of others.

I had developed a HUGE superiority complex over those that didn't have similar fitness goals.

I had, basically, sacrificed a lot my personality and that something special that made me "Who I am" for some arbitrary goals.

Eventually, I got burned out on it..........said f@ck it!............decided that I wanted to live life and enjoy it as much as possible............and just accept things as they came.

Naturally, gym rats turn me off. So, if they don't find me appealing?? I care why??

I'd date an overweight person just as quickly as an average person. There are far more facets to compatibility than just the skin you're in!

That being said, I generally prefer a woman that is smaller than me...........and not just in height.

However, I evaluate each person on a case-by-case basis.
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