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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > threesomes: do they ruin relationships?      Home login  
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 alienboy
Joined: 9/10/2004
Msg: 1
threesomes: do they ruin relationships?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I've heard tales of people in "open" relationships who bring in a third for a little menage, and jealousy causes much trouble in the relationship. Is this the case more often than not? Anyone have any experiences that they'd care to share?
 shelbydave
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 2
threesomes: do they ruin relationships?
Posted: 11/30/2005 6:03:35 PM
YES.... they DO destroy a great relationship.
 :
Joined: 4/15/2005
Msg: 3
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threesomes: do they ruin relationships?
Posted: 6/11/2006 1:59:43 AM
In my experience threesomes signal the demise of the relationship, they can be a fun way to end things however, or perhaps that there was no serious relationship in the first place.
 misskittee
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 4
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threesomes: do they ruin relationships?
Posted: 6/13/2006 9:32:57 PM
I have been in threesome situations but never while I was in a relationship...I've never gotten a handle on sharing my partner with another. I have to say though...that it would depend entirely on the dynamics of the relationship in question, the people involved and how serious things got. For me? It would NOT be a good thing. Fun or not, it just wouldn't be worth the risk...I'm extremely happy in my relationship and wouldn't jeopardize that for the world.
 Ldygmr
Joined: 12/19/2005
Msg: 5
threesomes: do they ruin relationships?
Posted: 6/13/2006 9:46:14 PM
Yes.
Unless the people are truly open and very very very few are.
 innocentantic
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 6
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threesomes: do they ruin relationships?
Posted: 10/2/2007 6:44:42 AM
Jealousy is a negative energy emotion. It hurts the person feeling it, and does nothing to strengthen bonds with the person that it's directed towards, unless that person is looking for emotional validation and is too sick to seek it from the jealous one... they have to spurn to feel wanted?


I had read some statistics on this at some point, and if I recall correctly, it was something like a 90% failure rate.


90% of MONOGAMOUS marraiges involve infidelity. 75% of marraiges end in divorce, so at least 15% of people, it works for.

I agree, the bond must be strong between the primary couple to engage intimately with others. This is true for friendships, also, especially friendships with exes. Threesomes can be GOOD for a relationship, if each person is strong enough to feel joy at the other's pleasure. It's certainly not for everyone, just try it if you want to. We're all going to die young (120 is pretty young in the grand scheme of things), might as well make mistakes!

Oh, and if your partner is asking for a threesome, your partner will probably cheat on you if you don't go for it. Statistically speaking that is. But that doesn't mean go for it, if you don't want to. It means seek help for your relationship, or try to find common ground.
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 7
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threesomes: do they ruin relationships?
Posted: 10/2/2007 8:37:22 AM
I think with the right people that no it wouldn't ruin a relationship.
My best gf and I had one with a guy friend of hers, I t was awesome...he and I ended up together for 9 yrs after.
But his constant asking if I would have another one, talking about people I knew while we were bumping fuzzies, him pointing out girls, or asking if I would fcuk so and so helped to ruin our relationship.
I understood it was a real fantasy for him, just wasn't for me. It made me feel I wasn't good enough.
I recommend them for FB or friends. Not in a serious relationship
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 8
threesomes: do they ruin relationships?
Posted: 10/2/2007 11:41:47 AM
I wouldn't know because I don't share.
 mgkkain
Joined: 7/28/2007
Msg: 9
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threesomes: do they ruin relationships?
Posted: 12/22/2007 9:02:06 AM
Some In my opinion very few people can have a stable relationship and have a threesome. Most people tend to be to jealous. This is especialy true on the male side. Most men have this desire to be with someone that ate least gives the illusion of being pure.
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 10
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threesomes: do they ruin relationships?
Posted: 12/22/2007 7:39:29 PM
More often than not they do end up ruining a relationship after time. As much as it is a fantasy for most, me included, I would never follow through with it. I'd rather just keep it a fanatsy that will forever be unfulfilled, and that's ok.
 drambuie62
Joined: 11/21/2007
Msg: 11
threesomes: do they ruin relationships?
Posted: 12/23/2007 7:11:29 AM
No! at least certainly not by themselves. Insecurity and dishonesty (which are interrelated of course) do some damage. I have enjoyed an open relationship. The times we spent exploring our sexuality together in whatever group environment we chose was wonderful and only served us up images of pleasure. It was the "separate" playing that wounded our relationship (but didn't destroy it). It was selfishness that destroyed it (non sexual).
 idkkitty
Joined: 6/22/2007
Msg: 12
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threesomes: do they ruin relationships?
Posted: 1/20/2008 9:26:16 PM
truely this situation has to be open for all involved--if its all in fun then the situation can last a long time..if you start your relationship as a 3 some then it may be a great situation for all involved the experience can be of great pleasure...take it as an experiencing moment in your life....if something developes then discuss it with all involved...I think that you could have a great 3some relationship if your all friends and have fun and enjoy each other---thats the key to success
 dsleeth
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 13
threesomes: do they ruin relationships?
Posted: 2/26/2008 2:19:41 PM
Well, if you are ok with the fact that you don't satisfy your spouse any more...
 dsleeth
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 14
threesomes: do they ruin relationships?
Posted: 2/26/2008 2:20:21 PM
I don't think it's about jealousy as much as it's about knowing that you no longer totally satisfy your partner.
 UrAlternative
Joined: 4/5/2005
Msg: 15
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threesomes: do they ruin relationships?
Posted: 2/27/2008 1:24:38 AM
lets just put it this way, if youre not secure with your relationship to begin with, you shouldnt endeavor into threesome, foursomes or moresomes... you have to have AMAZING communication with your partner, meaning no secrets and have a good understanding of what the other person wants

now that being said, in my experience, no threesomes dont ruin relationships...
 Blonde_charm
Joined: 9/18/2007
Msg: 16
threesomes: do they ruin relationships?
Posted: 2/27/2008 4:29:03 AM
First of all.... its completely dependent on that particular relationship. To wave a wand and say it ruins ALL relationships can't or isn't accurate.

Second, all these people referring to Dr. Drew and whatnot... religion is a form of belief, monogomy is a form of belief (we are created to enjoy sex, other life forms may mate for life out of security... not pleasure) so its subjective.

I do believe there are things you need to be concious of. Communication is key, making sure that there are no resentments, and that it works for the couple in question as well as the third. I have been the third a number of times with great success.

I am in an open relationship thats not typical, but after 9 years we are more in love with each other than ever. Do I recommend it??? NO WAY!!!! You have to be so secure that it won't adversely affect your primary relationship.
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