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 eveningstar123
Joined: 12/5/2008
Msg: 72
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WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!Page 6 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
really? Can you tell me where some of them are, because I'm a woman with a disability And find it nearly impossible to find a guy who would be willing to date me because of my physical disability... it's like a repellent or something.
 guyot
Joined: 5/6/2008
Msg: 74
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WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 5/14/2009 2:11:33 PM

"really? Can you tell me where some of them are, because I'm a woman with a disability And find it nearly impossible to find a guy who would be willing to date me because of my physical disability... it's like a repellent or something."


I for one have had serious relationships with women with disabilities, and each one was unique and wonderful. I prefer women who are physically unique in some way or have a diability, and am not at all afraid of women who use a wheelchair or other equipment. Yes, I admit that most people do not feel this way, and some people with disabilities are uncomfortable with my preference for them. Yet I truly believe that there are men out there like myself who would find your disability no barrier at all.

I wish you the very best of luck!

-Gray
 michaeld70
Joined: 5/6/2009
Msg: 75
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WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 5/14/2009 2:53:52 PM

I'm disabled with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy and I rely on a ventilator to breathe 24/7 and I have lived in rehab hospital for just over 18 years.


Here is the situation I was in with the woman I was with for 6 years until we recently split up. Her brother had the same form of MD, it runs in her family although he is only 30 now. She desperately wants kids but also knows that with a boy, chances are that he will get MD, and the girls will likely be carriers. He has lived with the family all his life and has a homecare worker that comes in when both parents are working. The family loves him to death and have watched him "on his death bed" MANY times over the years since he was a teen. At 30, hes lived much longer than any doctor has expected. He has no independence at all and needs constant attention, even not being able to cough could cause flem to choke him to death. Until a year or 2 ago he could at least move his fingers enough to play his video games. He now has zero mobility and cant even hold his own fork or spoon. He could have a heart attack at any time as his heart muscles have deteriorated so much. A cold or flu could also be life threatening. It was hard for me to see this wonderful young man slowly deteriorate, but the family have been seeing it since he was about 8.

We talked about kids and there was a chance that thru genetic counselling, etc. that they may be able to prevent MD in our children, but there is also the chance it wouldnt work at all. She told me how hard it was on her dad, seeing him cry on occasion and I know I would be the same. I know that it would be very hard on me to know that your child will almost certainly die before me, and so I couldnt take the chance and see my own child living like I watched her brother for 6 years. I dont think it would be right to have a child like that, knowing that he will be suffering for most of his life. I assume that I will get hatemail, maybe even praise for my "greedy" outlook, but I dont think it would be fair to the child or the family.
 Goldhartmusic
Joined: 6/18/2009
Msg: 76
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WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 6/25/2009 9:21:52 AM
Well, I have to say that when I joined POF and decided to be completely honest about my disability (Tethered Spinal Cord Syndrome, using a walker to get around) that I wouldn't get any responses, but I was pleasantly surprised! Lots of offers to go out already! And I find that the few guys I've been involved with since my disability came along really don't see it--they see ME and love me for myself. There are a few angels out there, so we disabled shouldn't give up, I say.
 tofuwink
Joined: 12/18/2009
Msg: 77
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WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 11/17/2010 11:08:29 PM
I have mild cerebral Palsy and I talk about it openly in my profile. Although, I know some people with disabilities think that any difference or mention of a disability sends people "running for the hills" that has not been my experience. I am not saying that I haven't experienced rejection due to my disability, but the reality of getting rejected because of my disability isn't as prevalent as I once thought it was. For example, I have found that, in the past, it was often ME who rejected my body before I gave my partner or romantic interest a chance to reject me. I projected my feelings of insecurity onto them. I have sabotaged more than one potential relationship because of my own insecurity about my disability. Today, I realize life is short and I am much more than a walk. I am honest about my disability (I walk differently anyway, so I can't hide it) and I do not apologize for it. It's my body, it is human diversity, nothing more, nothing less. I find that how people react to my walk is directly related to how I portray myself and how I react to my walk. Now, there will always be ***holes who will dismiss me no matter what I do, but I think they can be in the minority in my life.
I think in order to get dates or become intimate with a person, one has to first believe that they are sexy and date-able. For example, ( not to sound conceited) I think I'm hot. I go to the gym, I work out, I take care of my body, I wear clothes that show off my curves and make me feel hot, I am also kind, compassionate and intelligent and funny... and I have Cerebral Palsy, I walk with a limp. I can't give the people who view my disability in a negative light the power to erase the other positive aspects of my body and identity. Sometimes, this can be a daily struggle... but like everything else, self - acceptance and confidence sometimes has to be practiced in order for it to be believed. So when I do feel bad about my CP, I remind myself that I only have one life and one body; I am powerless over how other people react to me; and there is a hell of a lot of people in the world - and who I am to assume that they will reject me? Who am I to think for them?
I hope that regardless of how many dates any one has gotten since you first started this thread, that you all feel beautiful, sexual, and worthy.
Peace.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 78
WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 11/18/2010 1:41:25 PM
I know i would get jumped on for this but i would rather not date anyone with disability. Im very active and would like to date someone who can be as active. Now if the disability is not effecting you from being active, Then yea. Same token when i ride my bike i got a big note in the pocket that says DNR and it going on the suit in larger letters on the back as i cant see my self not being active the rest of my life.
 Razier30
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 80
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WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 11/21/2011 12:14:32 AM
I have tried dating a few times and it is exceptionally frustrating for me due to the simple fact that I do have a physical disability. The largest reason is that a lot of women I have met originally say that the disability does not concern them, until they realize precisely what that it means.

I have Cerebral Palsy, and while I like to think I am reasonably intelligent as well as a good person, the things I can not do seem to eventually make things difficult. I will never be able to hold a woman in my arms while I dance, or go hiking. Camping would be difficult as well. So that would leave things like movies, talking, going to restaurants, and things like that. While I personally see nothing wrong with those activities, I believe that the physical activities that I mentioned above are just as important to a majority of the women I have met.

I am not upset or angry about that fact, but it is unfortunate that it has to be so difficult due to circumstances beyond my control.

Another percentage think that I am looking for a nurse or something to take care of me. This is completely not the case as I have survived for 32 years taking care of myself and prefer to look after myself.

These thought processes have made the dating rather difficult and at times hurtful. Even still, I do think that if I get lucky and find the right woman, it will all be worth it.
 JosephHill
Joined: 3/29/2011
Msg: 85
WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 11/24/2011 3:58:10 PM
Totally beg to differ!!!
 JosephHill
Joined: 3/29/2011
Msg: 86
WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY?PART TWO!
Posted: 11/24/2011 3:59:39 PM
Crap...that was with reference to the fellow who said that women don't date men with disabilities.....Thought it would quote it but it didn't lol

Anyway...I totally beg to differ...Women date nice guys...period!
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