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 crashingchloe
Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 224
Red Flags....Page 5 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
When I registered myself with MTS here in MB....I gave strict instructions that my home address is not listed with my phone number. I believe you can have this changed although its a rather moot point if your information is already found in a phone book from last year..

I read somewhere here in this thread that red flags are person specific and I have to agree...whats going to bother one person is not necessarily going to annoy another.

There are some basic rules I follow in life..one is...is this person potentially harmful to me, to significant others or themselves. You fit your own rules into that one basic statement and there are your answers...

examples for you consider

alcohol and drug issues -----> harm me, significant others and themselves
Pedophile ------harm significant others
Serious Anger issues ----->> harm me and significant others


You get the idea here....these are flags I look for...you can't seriously appreciate or know about any others until you spend time together...there can be explanations for many things mentioned here...nerves for one...some ramble when they are scared....they were so nervous they ran out of the house without cash...eekks...too afraid to admit it and hope you are willing to buy your own coffee...

If the person shows up barely clothed, very very dirty and smelly clothes and they were not at work before they met you, their teeth are black and falling out....Okay so those are things I would probably run like heck about..lol...



Chloe
 Grapevyne
Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 225
Red Flags....
Posted: 12/26/2006 9:13:11 PM

do men not understand basic rules of keeping yourself SAFE?



A lot of guys figure that the women here are just pieces of meat for their entertainment.


In a way you answered your own question.

And I’m glad you only said “a lot of guys” and not “all guys”. A red flag for me is a women who DOESN’T take precautionary measures when meeting a stranger.
 Ralph1972
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 226
view profile
History
Red Flags....
Posted: 3/5/2007 9:35:24 AM
When a girl tells you that she tends to have short, intense relationships. RUN! When she tells you jokingly "Get ready for a bumpy ride," or playfully asks you "How long are you willing to put up with me?" RUN! I saw all these red flags in my last relationship and had chosen to ignore them because the girl was beautiful and I thought I could change her. Boy was I wrong. People, please don't be blinded by beauty and don't think you could change someone. JUST RUN and don't look back. The longer you stay in that relationship the more painful the breakup will be because the more time invested. Save time by not hesitating to cut ties with that person.
 haywiresue
Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 227
Red Flags....
Posted: 3/5/2007 9:55:28 AM
A huge red flag for me is meeting someone who is so intent on looking for red flags, because they have unresolved issues or are so jaded - you wonder why they are dating. These people forget to enjoy the meeting, the time we spend together and are so guarded that they cant be themselves or even give me a chance as they have their minds made up that its just not going to work out or happen or there is no point. Total waste of time and I think the biggest red flag of them all - being emotionally unavailable.
 spellingbee
Joined: 11/19/2006
Msg: 229
Red Flags....
Posted: 3/5/2007 11:01:31 AM
Oh, there's a huge red flag, alright... and it's got a gigantic pair of familiar-looking mouse-ears smack dab in the middle of it.

Welcome to the Disneyfication of our world, kids... a term coined by Sharon Zukin in her book The Cultures of Cities to describe the way the principles of Disney theme parks are permeating other aspects of our society.

I like what French philosopher Jean Baudrillard says about the hidden corporate nature of the Disney company in his book America:


"The whole Walt Disney philosophy eats out of your hand with these pretty little sentimental creatures in grey fur coats.

For my own part, I believe that behind these smiling eyes there lurks a cold, ferocious beast fearfully stalking us."
 haywiresue
Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 230
Red Flags....
Posted: 3/5/2007 11:22:00 AM
DCG & spellingbee - dont you think you are both a little jaded - you are forgetting about balance in ones life. Life is wonderful if you believe that it is or could be. Nothing wrong with Disney Magic, the characters or the theme park - its all about enjoying life. If I find the right man, decide to get married again and if I had the cash - getting married at Disney would be a blast.

Personally I have been married twice and I felt like a princess each time, as I was getting married to my "Prince", we had wonderful life plans, we were surrounded by family and friends enjoying and sharing that special moment with us, the wedding was the way we wanted it and each ceremony and reception provided many wonderful memories. Now we had planned to live "happily ever after", but like others on this site, it didnt happen - so what! You deal with the sh!t, pack up your memories and move along to your next adventure, your next love interest and maybe you will be lucky to find another prince or princess and live that dream of happily ever after.

Life is what you make of it, we live in a commercial environment from the type of car we drive, what DVD we rent/buy, the way we groom ourselves, and the way we behave and the "buzz words" we use. So, what do you suggest?

After reading both of your posts, I see being jaded as a huge red flag - where are the others - or for that matter - point me to the romantic men that believe in and are looking for "happy ever after", arent emotionally unavailable and are true romantics????????

update: Nanner - excellent - looks like thats where I'm going for my next vacation - LMAO
 Nanner Nanner
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 231
Red Flags....
Posted: 3/5/2007 11:28:00 AM

After reading both of your posts, I see being jaded as a huge red flag - where are the others - or for that matter - point me to the romantic men that believe in and are looking for "happy ever after", arent emotionally unavailable and are true romantics????????



They're all in Disney Land.
 O B 1
Joined: 8/22/2006
Msg: 234
Red Flags....
Posted: 3/5/2007 4:40:47 PM
Bad feminazi bad bad...First rule, follow the money.

Fewer and fewer people are having large extravagent weddings to symbolize their love. More people start choosing intimate backyard type of celebrations with close familiy and friends. Well, there's a whole industry from caterers to designers losing out aint there? Time to pull on the unfullfilled fantasies from childhood strings and get things back to the way they should be...making money.


Sorry Momma you can carry on with your search for the perfect gown if you like, just make sure its fire retardant cause I'm sticking with my bonfire and 24 of beer idea.

Edit-OT I think I give up on redflags, there is just no fool proof plan
 *~*Pink*Smartie*Lypz*~*
Joined: 10/12/2006
Msg: 235
Red Flags....
Posted: 3/5/2007 7:43:27 PM
Well this is my latest Red Flag...anyone notice that there really are no worth while men to choose from here in MB...besides DCG, Coors, Smokey, Turtle,Dano, and a few select wonderful men I know....the pickens is sure slim!!

Time to seek out the greener pastures I think!
 wpgfunguy
Joined: 2/7/2007
Msg: 236
Red Flags....
Posted: 3/5/2007 7:52:58 PM
gee, thanks for that. I think there are lots of great guys!!!!!!!!!!! Perhaps you are looking in the wrong places!!
 Fort Garry Dark
Joined: 11/25/2005
Msg: 238
view profile
History
Red Flags....
Posted: 3/5/2007 7:57:06 PM
Yeah, I loose out too. I knew it was comming.

 *~*Pink*Smartie*Lypz*~*
Joined: 10/12/2006
Msg: 240
Red Flags....
Posted: 3/5/2007 8:12:03 PM
I'll perhaps add to my list of swell men I know...sorry MKD..you are the bestest!! I am asking for your forgiveness!! FGD you also are a gentleman..and Funguy!! lol well your interesting...I didn't mean to affend the great guys I've met..but as of late...there really seems to be no one 'desirable" here ..for me...Manitoba really is a small kettle of fish!! and most get thrown back!....If you read this thread SAS007 you'll discover that I am "Smartie Girl" and I met or experienced some of the worst behaviour on behalf of your gender and it is a wonder I even consider still dating...I would much rather just go dancing with MKD ...which is my modus operanda most of the time...to meet me..you have to meet in a group...and I'm a pretty skittish ..fox!
 haywiresue
Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 241
Red Flags....
Posted: 3/5/2007 10:22:09 PM
Awwwww Smartie.......how could you forget the cutie guys on the first cut..........OMG girl, maybe you need a vacation out of provice - so you can come back and enjoy the wonderful men right here at home.

Guys, she didnt mean it.........see you got honorable mention on the 2nd round of draft picks.......you get to keep your jerseys....................


All in fun..................
 Hockey_Fan
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 242
Red Flags....
Posted: 5/23/2007 1:09:26 PM
When an girl brings her "ex" a long and kisses him in front of you and says they are just "good friends".
 spellingbee
Joined: 11/19/2006
Msg: 244
Red Flags....
Posted: 5/23/2007 4:49:03 PM
Listen up lunchbox... it's a huge red flag for me that my son was forced to sit through two (TWO!) Grade 12 (GRADE 12!) English classes watching The Lion King in some educator's pathetic attempt to impart the epic themes of Hamlet to young adults. The dumbing down of our children's education is a huge issue for me as a parent and taxpayer . If Walt Disney's cryogenically-preserved head* isn't spinning right now, Bill Shakespeare's bones are most certainly doing 360's.

*Yes, I know it's an urban legend but it made for a neat little metaphor for numbskullery there, didn't it? Not that we're actually teaching kids anything about metaphors in English classes these days.
 DutchTreat
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 245
Red Flags....
Posted: 5/23/2007 7:14:26 PM
Hi all, I'm new, but I'm certainly not new to red flags....

1. He refers to "70's Porno Bush" in your conversation...
2. You join his ex and her new beau at a hockey game...
3. He kisses his sister on the mouth...

and my personal fav...

Talks to your rack for 10 minutes straight.


In reply to SB...I think that was a desperate attempt on the part of the educator to reveal the themes in Hamlet to a generation that has grown up with "instant gratification" and has never really had to work for anything they have. In this society of "more for less" educators are hard pressed to meet the requirements of the curriculm in the time allotted. Students today have 2x the information to cover in 1/2 the time...something to consider as well, with Bill 13 educators must teach ALL levels of students in the same classroom... when you have to reach the lowest and the highest sometimes you have to compromise.

Just a thought...

DT
 Rockin R...
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 248
Red Flags....
Posted: 5/23/2007 11:39:39 PM
Haywiresue
Red Flags....
Posted: 3/5/2007 1128 AM
A huge red flag for me is meeting someone who is so intent on looking for red flags, because they have unresolved issues or are so jaded - you wonder why they are dating. These people forget to enjoy the meeting, the time we spend together and are so guarded that they cant be themselves or even give me a chance as they have their minds made up that its just not going to work out or happen or there is no point. Total waste of time and I think the biggest red flag of them all - being emotionally unavailable.


Haywiresue ,
I read almost everyone of your post and I must say your the most level headed and educated women and mom I have known ( on here anyways). I imagine your not too far from the same in person, thats my read on you anyway. I wish I had a mom like you. Are you willing to take in applications lol.

I was somewhat guilty of that when I redated my ex. Yeah there were some unresolved issues that decided to be swept under the rug. It was probably not the best way to start over. But then again it takes two to communicate and ask questions even though you may not like the honest answer. I am not very good at starting an argument but I do respond as honestly as I can without the swears. It always better to ask questions than latter.

anyways this insomniac better sleep. Been an insomiac for over a month now and I can't seem to shake it. err and boy does it take a toll on me.
 haywiresue
Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 249
Red Flags....
Posted: 5/24/2007 8:03:41 AM
Stained Soul - thank you for the compliment, that was very kind. My attitude is pretty much the same in person as it is on the forums. That is very kind wishing you had a mom like me - my daughter would probably disagree with you on that one, some days. I'm not taking applications for more children - LMAO, but many people private message me to talk from outside the forums and my mail restrictions will allow this. So, if you wish to contact me and talk, feel free to do so, as if I can help, it would be my pleasure. I truly believe that our greatest gift is to help one another and I have been blessed with many wonderful people who have helped and stood beside me when I was not as strong as I needed to be.

I have learned that for whatever reason a person is your ex, that will never change as there is always something there to prevent you from being totally happy. Once you make the decision to make someone an ex - leave it there and dont go back, it will only hurt more the next time. Relationships should fit together like the pieces on a jigsaw puzzle, sometimes easy, sometimes not - but if the pieces do go together they will, if not then look for the right piece elsewhere.

After looking at your profile, I remember that we have talked a few times at the POF functions at Wildsides and I remember that you are a very calm person, so I dont see that starting an argument would be easy for you as I think you prefer to talk things out, which is a much better way to handle a problem. Unfortunately, many people do not know how to have a decent conversation and even more dont know how to deal with problems. We live in a world where there seems to be a need to have winner and a looser in a dispute. This mindset is very bad and our children learn this. Open communication can reduce the problems in a relationship, provided the honesty is delivered with consideration for the other person. Its one thing to tell the truth and its another thing to deliver it in sarcastic or rude packaging and hurt another person.

Insomnia is not fun, you might have a vitamin or mineral deficiency as that can cause sleep problems during stressful times in our lives - that should be a red flag for you my friend.
 peek~a~booo
Joined: 1/3/2007
Msg: 250
Red Flags....
Posted: 5/24/2007 9:59:26 AM
A red flag is only USEFULL if you clarify the issue....to simply see a flag and simply walk away without clarification shows what...your not open to resolving your issues..
The red flag is your mental note to clear up and avoid having to go back there...
I think everyone finds flags but the breaking point to resolve that flag is a choice...
you can either choose to discuss or choose to bolt...it is your life to resolve the flags in your relationships..but to simply toss a flag and walk away is not justice to the issue...
or self for that matter...cuz you never really solve nothing if you simply have recognision.
Big woop a flag.......one would hope balance with that flag or your little johnny
juming from place to place sucking energy and not giving nothing to solve your own hangups...are ya????

Cuz a flag is an issue your uncomfortable with...I strongly sugest you look into why you have 3000 red flags and then figure out why your parinoid perhaps.....shakes head....Sue you can be my mom too. shakes head yes....
 haywiresue
Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 252
Red Flags....
Posted: 5/24/2007 12:46:57 PM
Temp Your Kharma - you are always just full of surprises. Who would have ever thought that you would turn out to be just the sweetest nose picking match maker on this site. Thanks so much for your suggestion, might just have to look into that one.

I could not agree with you more about many red flags being subjective, just like dating. I also agree that we are all products of our environment and not necessarily screwed up to some degree. What is the measuring stick or the norm and who decides what is normal?

I'm sorry that you pick your nose, do you need therapy or do you suffer from a compulsive disorder? On another note, do you see your nose as half full or half empty at any given moment. Sorry, just kidding here - just could not resist - you are way too funny. Thanks, you always make me laugh. All in fun, I hope no offence taken on your end.
 *~*Pink*Smartie*Lypz*~*
Joined: 10/12/2006
Msg: 253
Red Flags....
Posted: 5/24/2007 6:50:21 PM
Tempt your Kharma...YOU are also a wonderful man...good grief did I open a can of worms!! lol YOU all have such sensitive ego's ...here let stroke them for you!!!

Ok...so not all the flags are that bad...but each person should heed their own warnings...for me..."maniacal laughter" is my deal breaker!! lol.....


Haywire..you keep those boys in line now! lol
 Rockin R...
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 254
Red Flags....
Posted: 5/24/2007 9:08:27 PM
haywiresue

your right I am a non confrontational person yet I do have temper and prefer to wait for 3 strikes to say something. Usually as strike one I am pissed and I would probably say some shit and swears that I would regret latter on. My motto its best to say nothing at all if you have nothing good to say. By then I wish someone would notice and ask whats wrong so I can say whats on my mind in a non confrontational manner in hopes in resolving the issue at hand so both parties get what they want from eachother and not fight and go to bed mad.
--------
Thanks , I will take you up on the offer. Sorry I have a hazzy memory about meeting you at Wildside, I've only been there 3-4 times, the last time I was there was for that early December chirstmas gathering. That time I showed up over way over dressed, yeah I was in a suite, lol. The memo did say to dress up?

My latest insomnia situation I thought it was due to eating a late supper and it beeing summer I usually able to stay up alot longer. Even though I always feel sluggish but that the norm for me these days. It gets worse when I am stressed. But your right I have a medical issue. On the 28th I will be getting results on my little condition. Last week I had gone to see the specialist. I got needled into the bone marrow of my chest and I gotten more blood work done. I was checked for my low pressure and checking how anemic I am.
 haywiresue
Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 257
Red Flags....
Posted: 5/26/2007 6:25:28 AM
Tempt Your Kharma;
I'm glad there was no offence taken on your end as it was all in fun. I also agree with your comment "Love means never having to say you are sorry" and that it is BS. In a relationship one must be aware of the others feelings and as humans we often make mistakes, inadvertantly hurt the other person and need to make amends and show how important the other persons feelings are as we need to caretake and look after a loving relationship. You are a pretty smart guy.

I like your big boob analogy and you are right, big boobs on a woman, just like a handsome man, gets attention - but there sure has to be more to it than that for a relationship to form, grow and endure. I think many people rush into a relationship before the understand what else these "desireable" people have to offer. I have dated some very handsome and attractive men, only to find out the lights were on and there was no one at home or we had absolutely nothing to talk about after I got past looking at the looks. OMG this is weird, I'm in agrement with you - 2 funny.
 Czech Roma
Joined: 10/7/2009
Msg: 258
Red Flags....
Posted: 2/1/2010 12:31:09 PM
They lie about their last name, will only give you their cell phone when they have a land line, they lie about a having a( step) child and when you have suspicions and ask they say its theri roomate's kid and then when i reasked they admit it was their their step kid but consider it their own child. He told me he was not the daddy type and did not kids!
 Turquoise Eyes
Joined: 11/26/2009
Msg: 259
Red Flags....
Posted: 5/11/2010 4:07:02 PM
^^^^married....sounds suspiciously like he's talking about wifey
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