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 Frrosty
Joined: 3/21/2004
Msg: 56
Would you date someone with a mental illness?Page 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I date women don't I?





 Frrosty
Joined: 3/21/2004
Msg: 58
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 5/15/2005 12:27:52 PM
^ It doesnt help; don't bother.
 kitsguy4u
Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 65
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Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/21/2005 11:49:00 PM
depends on what type and how much of a problem it is...if its something that could turn bad then i probably wouldnt get involved. If i was with someone and they developed an illness then i would stick by them.
 veni vedi vici
Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 71
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 2/3/2006 2:05:59 AM
managed 7yrs of it and didn't know until all my ex's siblings all had the same symptoms,man i thank god every day she did what she did to break up with me or else i would of still been in hell.......
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 83
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Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 3/31/2006 10:08:48 PM
If the illness is under treatment, he is aware of it and doing the best he can, of course I would. I have a relative who has Bipolar who successfully ran his own business and is now retired. He's smart, funny, and a good man. I am very proud of him and his successes despite his illness.

It is sad that there is such a stigma attached to mental illness because many of the mental illnesses can be treated with medications and therapy. Watching my uncle succeed like that--wow! I did not realize that President Lincoln also had Bipolar--makes me admire him all the more.

Good health to all

DW
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 92
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Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 4/1/2006 3:56:02 PM
By refusing to date someone who is or has been mentally ill, you are eliminating 20% of possible dates. That's alot of people, folks!
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 96
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Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 4/1/2006 7:28:12 PM
Hi Crane Man,

Everyone has their own preferences for their own reasons. Like you I have my own preferences. I would rather avoid guys who are divorced with kids. You want to avoid someone who is mentally ill.

If we all wanted the same kind of person we'd never meet one another and then where would we be?????

Good fishing, Crane Man.
 marshw
Joined: 8/9/2005
Msg: 98
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 4/1/2006 10:50:30 PM
Hi Britney, everybody's crazy on some level. The question is whether their kind of crazy is a good fit for your kind of crazy. If it is, and you're nice to each other, go for it!
 GetOffMe
Joined: 4/8/2006
Msg: 102
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 4/8/2006 7:53:16 PM
I think everyone has a mental illness.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 106
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Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 11/23/2008 2:22:44 PM
I will not date a person with any illness,even how desparate and lonely I am. Enuff said.
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 107
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 11/23/2008 3:41:14 PM
No way. I can not entertain all the personalities and drama accompanied by most disorders. There was one man from over a year ago who admitted to me AFTER I had been seeing him and moved long distance for him about all his "illnesses" and I can not tell you how much it explained WHY he was such a mess, and tried to mess up my life. So, I go for the sane, non medicated ones. I would rather be alone. Some of these disorders are very difficult to notice. Another reason I will never do "long distance" again. If I can not see your behavior day to day, I won't see you at all. End of discussion.
 lostgirl71
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 111
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/10/2008 1:14:43 PM

you are something else...

He really is Something else ... Something very special - dont judge him unless you know him quite well.

So he isnt allowed to believe what he likes and what he needs in a person but your right? you talk of discriminative views but putting yours on him is just as bad. So you feel he should accept something that he obviously does not feel is for him. How about this - you keep the bi polar chicks and Ill take care of him ok?

He is quite special
 lostgirl71
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 114
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/10/2008 2:21:33 PM
dear mr further

again you are the one that is being judgemental. You have decided who I am as a person based on four lines of post? good for you. So I am pleased that I have caused you distaste in myself because of your dismissive attitude toward anyone else whose views differ then yours would make you someone I would not even wish to correspond with much less get to know.

For the record he had me do nothing - I have a mind of my own -

YOU put the labeling and tagging on what his statement and mine were not us - you have determined personal thoughts based off of disinterest in dating a person with perceived issues. There are many people I would not date it does not mean that I am afraid or have character flaws.

So does it feel good to attack a person because they disagree with you?

You also picked a good screen name - further - as is further from the truth I believe. Get over yourself - your not that great and your opinion is no more valid then mine.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 115
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/10/2008 2:37:12 PM
Only if I was crazy for her.
(sorry. couldn't resist)
 lostgirl71
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 117
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/10/2008 2:58:18 PM
and again since you dont know me you have no idea what my communication style is so I will reiterate again you are the one being judgemental. I call all women chicks - it is not dismissive, discriminative or in any way a term of distaste.

No one stated they dont deserve love, you read that in the post, his statement is it is not for him, you took it to an attack on character. His postings are his view - you choose to read arrogance in them but I have yet to read one where it comes across as that based on what I know - not on what you assume. I did not base my response to him on his statement here alone. again you assume.

The only separation I did was separated women from men - you made it into something based on the mental state. It appears that in your attempt to show support you are actually causing the strife not I.

Could happen to you - could happen to me - you missed the point completely of his post and mine. But that is OK because if your elitist attitude is what works for you I will not judge you based off of it other then to state you are injecting much more meaning then was provided - normally that equates to someone with unpopular views who is attempting to be PC. So please continue - You are showing me far more about your personality then you are pointing out in mine.

You do know what they say about a person who protests too much right?
 lostgirl71
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 120
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/10/2008 3:46:12 PM
His post was a direct answer to the question posed in this thread. The question is "would you date someone with a mental illness". His answer does not equate to not deserving love at all. It was a clear statement on his views. HE would not date them. He never stated that undeserving from others. That is my point, you assumed from all - he stated a preference. Insensitive would be stating that they dont deserve love from anyone, that was not stated.

My point again is that it is always better to have preference, deal breakers and other such items on the table and presented and not hide behind the PC view that the world is required to present itself with now. His statement = His view for Him not for the world. I choose to defend his post because it is personal choice he is permitted to have his. I believe completely in individuality and expressing personal views even if not so popular.

As far as your statement on infatuated with him causing me to not see things clearly. You are partly correct in this statement. There a bit more then infatuation .. and it is two ways. But I always think clearly.

PS - on a side not - I am far from a lost girl .. the name has more meaning then being clueless
 lostgirl71
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 123
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/10/2008 4:51:33 PM
Thank you for your concern - But there are several factors you are not aware of so please do not judge his character nor mine.

1) We are not talking someone I do not know - I know quite well
2) Nowhere did I state length of time
3) I tend to ramble in posts he does not
4) You are told in post his or anyones high level view the basic facts - not the rational behind those - those are reserved for free flowing conversation that occur
5) All statements are would you date knowing the person had these issues from the get go - not developed as a result of a trauma - you are again making assumptions on a person based on a direct answer. No where was it asked would you stay with a person that ...
6) I would not degrade or speak down about a person you care about - please show the same respect. Until you are on my side you do not see what I see.
7) I am highly careful - and trust me you are reading all wrong into personality traits that you believe are there that arent
8) One of the best things about being human is free will. I am well capable of making my own decision on a person, you nor anyone even those that know me best will ever change my mind on a person I have taken the time to get to know

as far as the how did you know there is infatuation - I would think the little man with hearts coming out of its head and me stating he is very special would be enough of a clue to determine it. I didn't really leave it to rocket science.

You wrote how you felt the message should be written if a persons answer to the OP was a no they would not date someone with a mental disorder, your wording was not only the answer but the socially acceptable terminology to show there is no discriminative views of someone being deserving of love. Again that was not the question asked - he answered of him. You read much more into the comment then needed because of your profession and affiliation. Your answer is no more correct then his - your is just PC.

To be honest with you - I find your post much more offensive then his. His was generalized - yours was personally aimed at him and I. I wont tolerate a person attacking anyone I care about. So I spoke up because I happened to notice it. I would think you would appreciate this trait in a person, stand up for the one your with - a untied front when they are called out unnecessarily

Now we are both turning this into a chat thread which is against terms of use of the boards - so to bring it back on the topic... My answer is going into a relationship I would not willingly date a person with a mental illness because I have been there and have dealt in the past with a narcissist who was also bi polar and that is one hell I do not wish to endure again.

Did you ever consider the answers of NO given are due to a persons experiences and therefore they know the reason why they wouldn't but do not choose to ramble about the whys?
 lostgirl71
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 125
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/10/2008 5:03:53 PM

See Hon! You're in trouble, this guy speaks the truth, for sure!


I think Ill take my chance with you - you big oak tree ..

Now grab the yahtzee and the half a cow we got some talking to do



I rest my case...thank you for being so honest, however, I didn't need to be told this, it is obvious your not a good person...

GRRRR ... really you need to stop degrading him - now your just pissing me off.

It is so heartwarming to see a person who feels based on the most sarcastic post even written you can make a snap judgement on character of a person.

You know what - he knows his flaws while you are oblivious to your own - you are the judgemental one.

let me know when you find a match on here, I would like to write her and trash talk to her. You know because I am qualified as a stranger and all. After all I work with idiots all day therefore I am qualified to discuss them ..
 lostgirl71
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 127
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/10/2008 5:39:18 PM

As for your "young" boyfriend...


And his age means what in basis of this discussion?

The basis of this thread is again would you date a person with a mental illness, you received a direct answer to a direct question. there were not stipulations and variables in the question -

YOU just stated that YOU would only date a person with a mental illness with a guideline"


providing, they are good people, who work on their medical condition..


YOU just stated that the answer to your question is depends - not much better then a direct No - your answer is more judgemental because now turning the tables you date someone with a mental illness that does control it with medication and they choose to stop - do you dump them?

Breaking down your words the way you did his - your quite the hypocrite arent you.

and FYI - not that you deserve a real answer .. but the correct phrase is What goes around comes around .. remember that next time you choose to try to make statements on character to a person you do not know
 lostgirl71
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 129
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/10/2008 6:04:34 PM
understood - but now understand you are flat out stating you would leave them due to no longer taking medication (which I agree and understand) He however never stated he would leave a person he is with if they develop an issue later.. the difference here is you stated it as fact and put an assumption on another.

Is this not the same thing?

In my opinion for most people it comes down to one factor .. an illness such as that - that is treated is unknown unless willingly shared to another - untreated most including yourself would not date the person. so you may not wish to admit it - but you agree with the young one. He is actually very smart and sweet and funny - but maybe it is just reserved for me?

PS - the oak tree is an inside joke - I would not expect you to understand again do not assume
 riotdorque
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 134
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 4/2/2009 7:57:56 AM
I know this thread is old but I'm in a rather sharing of my opinion mood.

Some people have had a pretty good life sure some stuff happened but what does not kill you makes you stronger right? Nothing too horrible just enough to give you some ups and downs.

Some people not so much ~ some have pasts that haunt them and have caused the mind to well be a royal ****. On top of that some of us got more than we bargined for with our genes. The short end of the stick, some lovely mental stuff that we did not ask for and would have brain surgery to correct in an instant if offered. There's baggage and then there's everything but the damn kitchen sink. Which is why I hate the term baggage it annoys me.

You have to ask yourself what are you willing to go though to be with a person. Is this person worth at least trying to make something work?

As long as the person is up front about said mental issues, those issues do not put you in harms way of having an axe put though your skull in the middle of the night, and if they need meds they are taking them and keeping up with therapy then I say at least give it a try.

We may be mental but we'll keep you on your toes :)

And to the person who posted above me do you mean agoraphobia, social anxiety, or something else?
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 141
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Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 4/4/2009 11:29:51 AM
No I would not date someone with a mental illness. They do not have control of themselves, and I do not want to wake up in the night with a knife to my throat. Too much paranoia going on in their heads. Lots of times, even with lots of meds, there is no rhyme or reason to their actions. I work with patients with mental disorders everyday, and spend alot of time diffusing phantom grievances, paranoia, and confusion, fits of anger and violence. Why would anyone go into a relationship with someone they knew didnt have all their ducks in a row? Realtionships are hard enough with 2 sane people. Dealing with it at work is one thing, having it at home, waiting for me, no way.
sorry if this has offended some of the posters. JMO
 bbbuble
Joined: 2/4/2010
Msg: 145
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/30/2011 4:18:49 AM
You said, "he's awesome and great to be around." Well that sounds great!! Ask him quetions that you have about mental illness. Don't be afraid to talk to him about it, and that will help him more since your his friend/lover? I have mental illness, too often my mind races ahead of me and I'm in a different state of mind and I feel really free and easy, so I write some replies to women and when I see what I said I feel embarrased and silly because I just wrote a line of bull. I was really manic. But since I'm on the road to health, and my mental illness is kind of in "remission" It's really great to feel good finally after 20 years of illness, strangeness, extreme mental pain and embarrasment.
Work with him and love him from your own loving nature, so nurture him sometimes, he really needs it, and he might not even realize that. After so many years of suffering it would be so nice for him that you love him any which way you can, whether close physical touching and loving. Or positive comments to him, I know you know what I'm saying. He will feel greatful for it. I know I would. That's why I'm on POF. I'm looking for a relationship.
So I guess, explain to him what you want to give him, (it does't necessarily have to be sex.) And ask him if it makes' him feel calmer and better. Sometimes it is hard to be open and speak honestly if you have a mental illness, because our questions probably shake us up and we don't want to talk about our painful times.
Well I hope that helps, and with your love he will feel better and you will feel better to be with him, it's a win win situation. Nice to talk with you and good luck. You have done the right thing. Sincerely, Michael.
 bbbuble
Joined: 2/4/2010
Msg: 146
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/30/2011 4:44:59 AM
Hello, first I want to say something to that last person. I have felt so down before that my mind was stuck in Shit, Shit, Shit. But I fought it over. I fought back as much as I really could fight. After dozens and dozens of "frozen, from embarassement, guilt and feeling inadequate", my fighting back suddently worked. I realized there is NO ROOM for being embarrsed or guilty. I said that I, myself, is a great person and I have done many great things in my life and it worked. I'm also on medications as well. But I didn't give up, I chose LIFE, not killing myself. It is a horrible way to go, but it is even more horrible for one's family and parents and siblings and cousins and aunt's and uncles who said they all love me and are so happy for me that I'm feeling so much better. I took almost four years off from a job that fired me, in June of 2008. I spent most of this time working on myself, INVENTING new way' to feel better. I freaking invented NEW way's to heal myself. The hell with the counselors and psychiatrists. I know ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know myself more than they would ever know. All you have to do is to look within yourself and let the feelings and thoughts come up into your life/mind. There is a special part of us that want's to heal us. Try to tap into your own inner power, and ask that power what you want. It's not silly it is great!!, you'll see that your own mind is trying and doing that; healing your life. I became to feel happier, less calmer, not afraid of anything. You will start to realize that you CAN do this, heal yourself. Give it a try. Sincerely, Michael.
 Kiki928
Joined: 6/13/2011
Msg: 147
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/30/2011 5:58:01 AM
Personally NO. I was married to a man who 3 yrs into our marriage was diagnosed with servere bipolar..he had hypo mania or really bad depression. He was seeing an APRN and was on meds, he chose to self mediate now and then, stop and start his meds, he started cutting himself, drinking, wild behavior, stealing my oxy that was for my dog's cancer....after a few yrs I was done. He's remarried now for the 4th time...for me it's a huge red flag...I personally can't handle it.
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