|unresponsive womenPage 4 of 7 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)|
|I think everyone seems to take this a little too seriously, If someone chooses not to reply to your email thats their perogative plain and simple. The same as It was your perogative to choose the person you emailed to attempt contact with...|
ie ... you are not forced to contact every male or female on the site regardless of their appeal to you .. and nor are the ones contacted under any forced obligation to find the contacter appealing..
It wouldnt matter who you are male or female - you will never appeal to everybody In this world no matter how great you are.
Im not even dating here, but it just screams Issues to me that everyones so hellbent on expecting everyone who appeals to them to feel the same.
Dont take It personally - Its not even a real rejection - this Is the Internet - a dating site where a few words and a photo Is what a person Is making decisions on.
The right person will feel the same way and respond back - the ones who dont well put simply they arnt the right person for you.. no point losing sleep over It.
Posted: 2/5/2006 3:12:27 AM
|For the record, sparda's email isn't "original" as one poster suggested but, that's neither here not there.|
It seems that most people think that if they don't hear back from someone they assume it's because the person they wrote to thinks they're "all that". However, that may not be the case at all....
you could have written to someone who lied in the their profile about being "single"
you could have written to someone who doesn't know what the heck to respond back with
you could have written to someone with low self esteem who thinks you might not like her so much after all if you got to know her...
you just never know
Posted: 2/5/2006 3:56:50 AM
|Hey mate do be so hard on yourself YOU ARE PROBABLY A BIT LONELY OR WANTING A NICE LADIE TO BE WITH..I feel that DANSDOG and BLUE EYED GAL got it about right. There are all works of life on here and lots of personnalities, just remember it is a dating site....so in a way it is saving you some gas,and a dinner or 3. Personnally who cares..... Keep typing... BRO|
Posted: 2/5/2006 4:24:41 AM
|I'm used to not getting replies to my messages. It gets irritating, but I really don't see it as a bad thing because they're probably looking for something specific that I don't have.|
The only people who deserve my attention are those who are willing to give me some of theirs.
Posted: 2/5/2006 6:02:06 AM
|Unresponsive users, employing a medium that strictly relies on responsiveness to socialize tickles me to death. |
Having said that though, to the recipient of the non-reply, please note that:
Firstly, often it's kinder to recieve no reply than a rejective reply for precisely the reason that the only interaction here is written, and therefore expressing the rejection gently may be difficult, because it's only in words.
Secondly, women tend to, on average, receive about 10 times the mail here or any other forum simply because men like to chase them -- so it's the buyer's market (tough luck for short sellers).
Now having said that, I've had most of my messages responded to and I have met some amazingly sweet girls on line here.
Just be yourself, and I am sure you will find the one who will "connect" ;-) with you.
Posted: 2/5/2006 6:23:00 AM
|That's not true about every woman. Plus, I've heard men do the same thing. I, myself will respond to all of my messages, even if just to say that I'm not interested. To me everyone deserves that much respect, unless proven different. I tend to get quite a few messages too, but I still respond to them as quickly as possible. It might not be the reply some are looking for, but at least I do reply back. If someone takes the time to write and send me a message, then I think that's the least I can do is reply. But, that's my opinion & feelings. Everyone is different.|
Posted: 2/5/2006 11:19:22 AM
Well, i personally would prefer a answer, its better to know where you stand, then to not know,
I guess one could/should assume it is an answer...no response, no interest (or maybe not enough interest).
If I get no response, I don't mope about it...move on. No big deal. No one OWES you an answer or an explanation.
Posted: 2/5/2006 11:23:47 AM
|Sparda, I get this crap a lot too, so don't think its just you. Simply put, if they don't respond to you, they're most likely self-centered b!tches that you don't want any part with to begin with. Think of it as a filter. How hard is it to reply with a "Thanks, but not interested"? If they can't do that, why the hell do they deserve you, Sparda?|
Posted: 2/5/2006 11:43:04 AM
|I THINK that this site is a numbers game. Send out 50 emails, maybe get 2 responses. send out 100 maybe get 4. Statistically, if you send out enough emails or contacts, you will get a response. If you look at it that way, as in, it's nothing personal - not about YOU, then I think it will be easier to handle the 'no responses'. ALSO - the definition for insanity is "doing the same thing over and over, yet expecting a different result". If it's not working for you, try something new. Just my thoughts...|
Posted: 2/5/2006 12:36:07 PM
|No, SweetieGuy81, you're not the only one that replies to every message in a mature, adult way. I do myself, and I'm sure there's a lot more out there that do as well. You can't "bundle" all women together as saying we're all alike, just as you can't "bundle" all men together as saying you're all alike. That wouldn't be fair, as we're all different. We all have our views, opinions, preferences, ways of doing things, etc.. doesn't mean it's right nor wrong, just means it may be right for them. But, hey, that's just my opinion, LOL...|
Posted: 2/5/2006 12:40:24 PM
"Well hello there. How are you? I have just come across your profile and I must say, you strike me as a very...unique individual. Love it! 11 tattoos eh? Did they hurt? I hear they can be addictive... and since you got 11 of them, I won't dispute it
Unique? That is the best compliment you can come up with? That sucks. Then you notice/talk about her tattoos. Every guy and their little sister has noticed them and asked her about them. She is sick of guys coming on to her with boring conversation like "Did those hurt?" Geeze, notice something and talk about something that no other guy would.
So you are looking for a man that is not a loser, user, cheater or beater eh? And you even rhymed with it. Now that's talent! Well, I am none of those things. Quite frankly... I'm just a very eccentric fellow looking to meet someone whom I can communicate with and who might be open-minded to meeting someone not quite like the norm (but in a good way, I think...).
Well you did this wrong too. Instead of highlighting your strength's, you highlight what you are not. That doesn't do any good. The brain doesn't accept negative commands. Then in the paragraph in general you are qualifying your self to her and coming off as insecure. Then at the end, you say she isn't quite like the norm? Why would you say that?
Well, this email is probably long enough, no doubt. Have a great day and I hope that I might hear from you sometime. Cheers
"I hope" is another insecurity indicator.
Do you have any pictures of your two cats? I like lil puppies and kittens. They can be oh so....cute in a fluffy sort of way :-)
Oh by the way, I do have better pics. I don't mind showing them to you if I might have the opportunity to get to know you. But this pic (if its the one with my shades on) is because I'm just getting used to this putting my face on the web thing. Later. "
Why are you trying to qualify yourself again with your so called better pics? If you are serious about finding someone on here, you'd have them up already.
Posted: 2/5/2006 12:40:49 PM
|SweetieGuy81, I personally have no problem talking to anyone without a picture posted. I don't require certain statistics to just talk or be friends. But, like you said, if it were someone I was planning on meeting, then yes, at that time I'd like to see a photo as I'd share mine as well. We all have our preferences, and there has to be chemistry there to start before you can go any further. Like I said about preferences, what's attractive to one person, may or may not be attractive to another. Don't you agree?|
Posted: 2/6/2006 4:04:11 PM
|Sparda are you whining again??? When are you gonna realize that your personality and penchant for calling women "broads" is just one more reason why women are smart enough to know what they don't want. |
QUIT BEING A BABY.. and you might want to think about some personality classes.. I hear they have medication for that these days too.
This is getting as old as BBW and nice guys... will ya'll just get over it... There are too many people in this world to be concerned over lack of companionship.. but you guys... if you are constantly being ignored or shot down... might want to start to question whether or not the problem is YOU
Posted: 2/6/2006 5:10:57 PM
|no response= no interest,,,,,,,, just learn to accept it and keep on truckin|
Posted: 3/6/2006 5:29:37 PM
|No its not just a few isolated incidents-- this is an epidemic. Ive seen it too many times on these sites-- hell, I wouldnt be suprised if these woman werent communicating with anyone in the site; Its the ego boost. Analogous to being a celebrity-- you dont go out and really thank and take time to appreciate all your fans (knowing tho that this would be the right thing to do)-- not only do you not have time, but why do it knowning that they'll still like you regardless? Same with these women-- they dont reply to emails because the know men will still be there on their tip regardless. Your looking for a solution? Stop emailing these net-hos - its the ONLY way to change their tune |
Why they wouldnt wanna communicate with the decent men who are interested on a DATING site ?--- I do not know.. yall tell me
Posted: 3/6/2006 5:33:13 PM
|Tell yall the truth, I really dont trip on anything women do now-- i dont let it bother me, because i know for whatever reason--- even they cant rationalize what they're doin ! So on these emails I may say some shit like : " Hi u doin, Marquis 22 in Temecula. Get back to me if u wanna talk" -- simple enuff right? And I just copy that and hold onto it, and paste it as i look at the different females who look decent in my area|
Posted: 3/6/2006 6:16:20 PM
|Ah, yet another thread started by Sparda, cleverly disguised as "gee, women sure are big ol' meanies", yet referring to women as "broads". Grow up, and realize that men do it to women as well. |
You reap what you sow
Posted: 3/7/2006 10:27:02 AM
I find it strange that women claim they are honest, and that if you want to know anything about them, just ask...when you do ask, they don't reply back.
Isn't that totally dishonest? I realize it depends on how and what you ask, but still, the underlying point still holds true.
dis·hon·est Audio pronunciation of "dishonest" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (ds-nst)
1. Disposed to lie, cheat, defraud, or deceive.
2. Resulting from or marked by a lack of honesty
Not responding to a stranger isn't being dishonest -- you might consider it rude, but unless the person clearly states in their profile that they answer absolutely everyone, it's not being dishonest.
The men on here have to realize that women receive far far far more mail than most men do. I can't speak for every female here, but I know that I have better things to do w/ my day than sit on the computer telling everyone that I'm not interested. While I do try to respond to everyone, it becomes overwhelming when you're trying to respond to ppl, and then respond to their replies. Honestly, I'd need a secretary to keep up.
So, if we don't always answer, don't assume that we're being "dishonest" or that we're hos, sluts, ****es, broads - etc. I have a small child that will ALWAYS take priority over email, and the men that can't appreciate that aren't the men I'm interested in talking w/, anyway
Posted: 3/7/2006 10:35:06 AM
|YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, ...............|
THATS ALL I HEAR - HOW POPULAR THE WOMEN ARE , WELL I THINK THIS WHOLE SITE IS A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME, I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY I BOTHER TO WRITE THIS...... I AM ALL DONE FISHING BECAUSE THE FISH HERE ARNT HUNGRY,,,,. NONE OF THEM RESPOND TO FRIENDSHIP OR ROMANCE........
I HAVE BEEN TRYING THIS FOR MONTHS AND IF YA ASK ME ITS FOOLISH
"NEVER CHASE BUSSES OR WOMEN - YOU'LL ALWAYS GET LEFT BEHIND"............................
SO KEEP ON BEING INDEPENDANT LADIES ITS YOUR LOSS - I HAVE A LOT TO OFFER BUT NOBODY GIVES ME A CHANCE
AND DON'T TELL ME NOT TO GIVE UP OR SHE WILL COME ALONG.... I'VE HEARD ALL THAT CRAP BEFORE AND I THINK I WILL STAY SINGLE.................... FOREVER
Posted: 3/7/2006 10:47:06 AM
ummmmmm....we don't come on here looking for popularity - you men make us popular
Posted: 3/7/2006 10:49:43 AM
|NOT THIS MAN..... WHY WASTE MY TIME...........RIGHT ??|
Posted: 3/7/2006 11:08:36 AM
well, how did you meet women before you got a computer? maybe this isn't the best venue for you
Posted: 3/7/2006 12:01:32 PM
i constantly read forums for fun when i have nothing to do and i've never been tempted to write my own thoughts until right now.
pied piper, it's a shame you live so far away from me, no man has spoken a greater truth on this site before! it was wonderfully positive while still getting your point across. there's a good woman out there for you, i can tell!
the moral of the story:
it's nobody's fault gentlemen, we are all trying as best we can to swim upstream in the ocean of dating.
i am here to find men of all sorts to go out with, get to know and then possibly get involved with but it's difficult to do when someone represents themselves as a kind and patient soul to begin with and then gets vulgar and starts begging me to hop into bed with them after the first clicks of a mouse...
so that's why i'm very selective with who i respond to, not because i'm shallow (i do respond to some emails even if they don't have photos if i like what they've read) but because i'm protecting myself. i hope that the men i choose to email also respect themselves and are equally selective and not just going after every little girl fish who looks their way.
i used to respond to every email i wasn't interested in with "sorry, i'm not interested, but best of luck in your search!" until i started getting hate mail and being called names and then it just became easier to delete without a response. again, i'm sorry if that seems insensitive, but for me it was just better than being put infront of a firing squad.
There are an infinate number of reasons why you wouldn't email someone, why they wouldn't email you back, why things didn't work out, why they didn't call, and all are irrelevant in the face of the fact that they just chose not to, and that's not your problem or an indication that something is wrong with you or them....it's just the way it is.
So i understand how tempting it is to blame yourself or someone else for being rejected, it really does suck, but instead of blaming just be more patient and compassionate with yourself, give yourself permission to feel hurt that something didn't work out the way you planned, take a deep breath and keep on swimming :)
Posted: 3/7/2006 12:44:27 PM
Nobody's ever put it 2 Me like that before...
You Are A GREAT Person and Yes It Is TO BAD YOU ARE ACCROSS CANADA
Thanks For Enlightening Me and Thanks For Your KNID WORDS !!!
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