|unresponsive womenPage 6 of 7 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)|
|Hi. Thanks for the considered and thoughtful responses. But I respectfully disagree. In all honesty, if someone says "hello" to me on the street, then, yes, I smile back and respond in kind. I do. It is just common human decency. It is the way I want to be treated; it is, therefore, imperative that I treat people the same. I'm not a religious guy, but the "Golden Rule" has merit.|
I'm not suggesting that the door be left open for continued correspondence. But a polite "no" to a polite email inquiry is certainly warranted. If the guy persists, then, hey, by all means block him... But given him the courtesy of an initial answer. And yes, I believe that a polite email DOES obligate the recipient to respond in equal kindness, whatever the answer and decision (re: two answers up). Again, just common human decency. By mounting your profile, you are, by definition, soliciting emails; you are agreeing to be part of a community. Part of the deal is to give as well as receive. It's not a one-way street here.
Admittedly, I don't know what it's like to receive multiple emails. And admittedly, I'm a bit jealous. But if you're getting tons of emails, then you're getting what you want out of this (or whichever) site--social contacts and potential dates. And if you're receiving what you seek, then I think you are responsible to hold up your end of the bargain--and that is to be courteous to all those that are courteous to you.
And my final thought (at least 'til next time :-) )--when I have given a girl a rose (or any gift), it is because I know it will please her. It is not with any ulterior motive; it is only to demonstrate that I appreciate her. A smile and a kind "thank you" is all I ask in return, so that I know my thoughtfulness is appreciated. Substituting "email" for "rose" still results in the same expectation--just a smile and a kind "thank you." I can't see why that's too much to ask......
Posted: 3/31/2006 3:55:39 PM
By mounting your profile, you are, by definition, soliciting emails; you are agreeing to be part of a community. Part of the deal is to give as well as receive. It's not a one-way street here.
Not necessarily. You are assuming everyone is looking for love just by coming to this site and they are, willingly or unwillingly, expected to welcome any and all messages with open arms. There are many people on this site who have clearly stated in their profiles that their purpose in being here is to enjoy the friends they’ve made and/or to participate in the forums. Regardless of whether a person is here to date or for the forums, it is still their prerogative to ignore or answer any messages sent to them. Rude or not, it is still their choice and no one can force them to answer when they decide they don’t want to. I don’t condone rudeness, but I will defend a person’s right to respond or not to any message they’ve received.
Posted: 3/31/2006 4:52:05 PM
|Whoa, whoa! Wait a minute. From the very start of my entry into this thread, I said that only courteous emails that were written after review of a profile warranted response. Obviously, if the profile says a person doesn't want an email, then of course the profile was not read and any incoming email should be disregarded and ignored. It was rude to write in the first place.|
But this thread has been focused on those that ARE looking to date. And for them, I remain steadfast in my belief that courtesy should beget courtesy. Of course, no one can "force" anyone to do anything. But just because I can't force them doesn't mean what they're doing (or not doing) is right. As such, I can NEVER condone a failure to respond to a legitimately, tactfully and tastefully written email. I guess we'll have to agree to disagree.
Man or not, I still believe I deserve respect, as long as I am showing respect to those I am trying to contact. Failure to respond to my ernest entreaty is rude, arrogant and disrespectful. I've faced it a lot (a surprise to me--I expected better), and I have no choice but to live with it, to shrug my shoulders and say to myself that "I guess she wasn't the person I thought she was." But living with it doesn't mean I think it's right. An honest person deserves better. And nothing I've heard here has swayed me from that belief.
Posted: 3/31/2006 5:02:42 PM
|We don't need to agree to disagree. I have already said I don't condone rudeness. So...looks like we agree on that point.|
Posted: 3/31/2006 5:15:54 PM
|Its a free site and the only things we're obligated to do are follow the TOS of the site. Thats all we "have" to do on POF.|
Posted: 4/1/2006 10:00:24 AM
|No Offense but it sounds to me that you take this way too seriously. Being on a dating site should just be another avenue of meeting people that are MUTUALLY interested in each other. But you can't take it so hard when someone doesn't respond. I read your posts and you come across as bitter and pissed off. That right there would be a red flag for any girl no matter what your profile said!!The lack of responses has nothing to do with the fact that the women think "they are too good to respond" It's simple...they read your email, checked out your profile and knowing themselves as well as they do....didn't see a potential candidate. Sounds harsh but thats what this site is all about. Making connections with people that you are interested in, and that are interested in you. Who knows where it goes from there?|
Take it easy and don't let a lack of response determine your worth... Take care and good luck in your search!!
Posted: 4/1/2006 10:03:12 AM
|I couldn't have said it better myself tiffs!!|
Posted: 4/1/2006 10:19:07 AM
|OP..Have you thought that just maybe...u write too much?|
Posted: 4/1/2006 10:29:33 AM
|yea i guess there are some women that dont respond, but there are alot of men out there that dont respond either. so men can take some of the blame as well.|
Posted: 4/1/2006 12:36:01 PM
|the ones who reply immediately and excited to hear from you, more than make up for the unresponsive ones. (you gotta know there are going to be some "dead fish" in the net.|
Posted: 4/1/2006 1:36:53 PM
|Wait Wait a min, here. What do you mean by Unresponsive women, Are we suppose to jump at all the emails or IMs that start out , What are U wearing, Do U dig younger Men, Looking for a fun , Sorry I would be unresponsive to those, and I am. But If a man sends you something Like , a mature greeting or just a simple interduction, I would and do , sure that most women would respond, But then again , some of these men make you not want to even respond to the nice, romantic, type, because we are so use to the others I,m afraid to. The other night I got 1 that when I opened it up, I thoughtwahe was a pimp, and I was scared to death, Then after checking his profile, I saw him in different clothes and the 1 picture he was with a policeman, mabey he was arrested I thought, lol, but that doesnt top the other one that was satisfying himself with his web cam on ,when he im me, If any of u women or men want his profile email me, be happy to get him away from me. I even told him that he scares me and to let me alone, but I blocked his name , so he will look for someine else to enjoy himself with. That might be why some women are that way, see me i,m not at all unresponsive , and I consider myself one|
thats not shocked easly, but those 2 are in my mind 4 ever. I enjoy men telling me that I am beautiful, even if I dont see it, it makes me feel so good , exspecialy when your husband never told you those things, What women isnt responsive if she, s called sexy, So dont call us Unresposive, call us ILresponsive, Lisa
Posted: 4/1/2006 1:51:45 PM
|Wow, no wonder you aren't getting email messages returned. Quit writing a novel and lose the Post scripts. Good luck in the future|
Posted: 4/1/2006 1:54:27 PM
|Maree, you really could just send a guy that messages a short blurb like, Thanks for the message but I do not see a match, best of luck. Short and to the point but it does not offend anyone.|
Posted: 4/1/2006 2:37:11 PM
|I wish men would do that too when I go to the trouble of writing to them. I've written to a few men who totally blew me off. One I was attracted to, and I tried it again. Still no response. It is better to let people know, then it's easier to go back to . It can be a blow to someone's ego if someone writes several emails and gets no replies in return. Even a polite, "no thanks" is better than no reply at all.|
Just my two cents' worth.
Posted: 4/1/2006 3:18:05 PM
|Dude ur a whinny ass, and not too bright a one at that. Women can see your posts as far back as 25 if they want. You writing fake posts just to look good on your profile is a little creepy. But forget about that. We outnumber (real men that is) women on this site by like 50-1. The good ones get dozens of emails a day, hundreds over a weekend. as far as I can see you don't even have a pic on ur profile, thats an automatic deletion. When I 1st joined this site I did the same thing...worked hard on an email only to have it read and deleted. I did a little whinning in the forum and got set straight on the facts, and never once did I use the term 'broad"... what a loser. Look dude I'm nothing special I have a decent pic, I worked hard on my profile to make it as honest as possible, and I get 10 or so emails a week, I don't have time to read and respond to those that don't offer a future for me. As for your email...you call that good? You need a creative writing class! Two "P.S." in a 1st email?? it's lazy and lacks style. and oh the cute lil puppies and kittens...I almost barfed! So if after you read this and if you are still looking for a 'broad" look in the yellow pages...you can call an escort a broad all day long as long as you pay! |
Posted: 4/1/2006 3:34:14 PM
|@ grtdayne |
BTW, I just read an article on the BEST jobs for 2006 and yours is listed in the top 10. I noticed it because my brother does the same thing. I would have emailed this side thought to you, but you don't accept email from my (advanced) age group.
Good luck and stay safe.
Posted: 4/1/2006 6:17:16 PM
|I don't see why anyone feels people are obligated to do anything on here. Thats an incredible amount of expectation from complete strangers. Your just setting yourself up for disappointment.|
Posted: 4/4/2006 11:35:53 AM
|Women are not going to be responsive to every single email that they receive... I get a lot of emails that I do not respond to because I am simply not interested. People that give me compliments I say thank you too atelast to acknowledge that they gave me a compliment and I appreciate it... But a word to the wise.... don't send poems professing your love or handing out your phone number right away.... That really turns women off or atleast it does me... And okay so you say something nice..... it doesn't mean that we are going to be intrested in you.... I can bet money on it that there are plenty of girls you are not interested in as well that email you.... we are not on here to boost our egos as one of the men responded... You give me a break.... We are on here just like you to find someone that peaks our interests and I have found a few people that have and I have talked with them... So I respond to the ones that I want to respond too.... I do have that right... So get over it!!!!!! Someone that is interested in you that you write to will write back..... just give it time... It will happen for you! You just never know. But I can tell you, I have had several men not write me back when I have emailed them so what does that say about YOU????? So please just get over it and move on........ For real!|
Posted: 4/4/2006 12:02:06 PM
|Did you ever consider that she didn't respond because she didn't want to? Where is the rule book? Do you respond to everyone you get? Move on. This is a dating site. There are plenty of woman who will get your sense of humour. Trust me I've gotten a lot worse emails. You sound like you can take a joke. |
Posted: 4/5/2006 9:13:34 AM
|yeah thats nuts. The girls are looking too. Yeah its nice to get a response, but nothing to ruin your day over. If they don't find you interesting then its best to know that up front, rather get allow yourself to get led on.|
Posted: 4/11/2006 7:35:35 PM
I can only assume that you didn't receive a responce to that e-mail because the lady in question completely failed to grasp your humour, witt and intelligence. I do my best to respond to e-mails, though I have to confess, if someone has not taken the effort to write anything of any substance, does that not warrant a "read deleted"? I am so tired of receiving emails with the title and content being "hi" "h r u?"
Ah well, one must roll with the proverbial puches i guess.
all the best on your quest,
Posted: 4/11/2006 9:32:14 PM
|Not all of us are here to boost our egos. |
Perhaps the lady was simply not interested in his profile for whatever her reasons were and simply chose not to answer his email.
No one is under obligation to answer an email if they choose not to and people need to simply get over it and move on.
Posted: 4/12/2006 12:02:38 AM
|I agree with the Count -|
Sometimes I am overwhelmed with email. I don't get 100s - like the top 1% of ladies here...but I get 40 day n a half.
I respond to every single email with a response before either saving it or deleting it.
I have to delete emails or I end up with 15 pages of old mail.
I have to respond to every gentleman because it is common courtesy - and there have been many times where I read a man's profile and thought " I don't think so,"
then, we email and talk....and it is a wonderful new experience...so I cannot judge by the profile, unless they are going out of their way to sound unappealing-
I have only received 2 nasty emails from separate men..one was impatient..I was busy with work..and he later apologized.
The other told me I didn't give regular men like himself a chance - and that I was full of myself.....
when here I am answering all these freakin emails....so I told him to shut his trap, that I respond to everyone..and if other women are making it difficult for him to meet women on this site..then the problem is either with some ladies or him...
this lumps all women into a cheezy category, ...out of impatience and immaturity -
I do read what people post in the forums...that is another way of meeting new men.
I never ignore an email - because I would want the same courtesy.
That's me, though,
I love men.
Posted: 4/12/2006 12:38:16 AM
|I too do not get that many responses but as a fishermen I know there is another out there and I just need to tie on another hook and cast another bait. Most likely at some point I am going to get bit (yeah, I may be in to that sort of thing sometimes )|
After talking with a few women here they have told me that they get an incredible amount of email & they are sorry if they do not respond. Just think of the ratio of men to women here. I don't get a lot of email here but I do my best to respond to every email I receive even if it's just a "Thank you" email.
If you don't get a response you don't have to be bitter just retie & make another cast and remember to always respect your ocean.
Posted: 4/12/2006 6:34:07 AM
|You know OP, Just try to post a pic of yourself and maybe that may do something.|
HOWEVER, if they reject you because of it, take it back off and maybe be more informative in your profile or do some other forms of modifications. But keep the patience and the confidence on.
Best of luck to you!!!!!!!!