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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??      Home login  
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 RobertG36
Joined: 9/25/2007
Msg: 251
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What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??Page 11 of 63    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
I know the feeling all too well. In fact, I have to say I have the feeling right now. My wife, the only woman who has EVER had any feelings for me (I'm not joking--before her I hadn't been on a date in 20 years), is in the process of leaving me. Before her, my life consisted of work and sleep. Then, she came into my life and I had something to do and fun and someone to care for and someone to provide for. I had a purpose for the first time in my entire life. We had plans of having a family. We had all kinds of dreams of things we wanted to do together.

And, then, she goes back to visit her family in her home country (Russia). [No--she's not a mail-order bride--I met her in America, actually from one of these sites, and we dated for a while before marriage] She's gone for 2 weeks and when I talk to her over there, she asks me to divorce her! Come to find out, our entire relationship was a lie and she actually was living a double life and had a boyfriend on the side!!! (she doesn't know I know this yet). And, I'm STILL trying to get her back!!!!!!!!!

All of our dreams shattered. I'm back to an empty house. Completely alone. Very few friends. NO single friends. Self-employed, so I don't meet others much--I sit at a desk in my house all day. Nothing but the computer and me, again.

Yep, I know the feeling you are describing.
 lilbitcurious
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 252
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/6/2007 5:02:12 PM
The love of my life committed suicide because I had an affair. His suicide letter stated his reason and now his entire family hates me. To make matters worse, they have nothing to do with our children ages 8 and 2. I am not saying what I did was right because I betrayed his trust that we shared for 9 yrs. What he did isn't right either. I had the affair because our sex life all but diminished. He thru his life away over nothing. What he did was the most selfish thing anyone could do. He only thought of his pain. I guess he never thought about the pain he would inflict on others, especially his innocent children. He must have given it some thought, he put a rope around his neck and put a bullet to his head with me on the other end of the phone line. He intended to scar me for life. I hope anyone that is considering this would please consider all the consequenses. Broken hearts can b mended n time.
 acrzyduck2
Joined: 4/13/2006
Msg: 254
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/6/2007 8:51:21 PM
To die is easy to live is whats hard, if ever to think about it look to who it will really effect; The man or woman who you want to hurt for hurting you does not care, so by killing yourself you are only hurting the ones who really care for you.
 RobertG36
Joined: 9/25/2007
Msg: 255
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What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/7/2007 3:39:02 AM


Neurotransmitter imbalances aside, it depends on how deeply involved the relationship is/was.
When people invest all they are, all they have in the promise of forever, freely given by the other ... when that's forfeited in his/her search of someone 'better' ... it can do alot to someone. Time heals, yes ... there are others out there, yes ... yet at times it can appear that your personal empire has crumbled and rebuilding it takes more strength than you posses.


You said that very well--thank you. Yes--this is exactly the case with me. Before my wife, I never had anyone. I was always alone, either working or sleeping. Not by choice. When I go out, I get ignored or laughed at by both sexes! (the women ignore and the men generally laugh). After I met my wife, I actually had a companion! We were planning a future together (so I thought). Things like kids, house, etc. We made plans to take a cruise, spend 5 days in Disney, visit the place where i grew up, visit Russia together, and many other things. I finally had a LIFE. It was so nice being able to go out and actually have someone under my arm. I never felt that feeling before! Now, it looks like that life is gone unless a miracle happens and my wife comes back to me. (I'll know in a little more than a week). Otherwise, all of those dreams and plans are shattered and I go back to work and sleep and nobody around.

Case-in-point: tonight I decided to go to a complex of nightclubs and restaurants in our area, trying to just meet some new people. I was there for about 6 hours. I think I said Hi to about 20 different women and got ignored or looked at like I was some sort of creep or something. Then, at the end of the night, there was a girl sitting on a bench, looking kind of sad. I decided to go up to her and just tried to start some small talk. She looked at me with a dirty look, like I was a dirty old man looking at a 12 year old and she got up and left!! (I'm 36 and I'd bet she was about 28). Funny, a few minutes before, some guy came up to her and tried to make her laugh and she smiled for a few seconds. So, it's not like she just didn't want to be bothered!
 judyarlinepuckett
Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 256
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What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/7/2007 8:25:36 AM
It's a very sad thought,
leaving behind people that love that person,
possibly feelings that will never have closure,
Broken hearts and unhappy feelings are part of life,
Life changes by the moment,
Love can come that was meant for that person,
When someone ends a relationship,
that does not mean life is over,
It just means it's time to move on,
and see what the future holds.
Everything that one does in life,
esp sucide effects everyone that person
has in their life.
People don't always tell you,
they love you,
sometime it's like the stars,
it's always there,
even though it's not always where you can see.
There are many kinds of love,
Sucide leaves behind broken hearts.
There are wonderful posiblities of what the future may bring
to that person,
Love sometime comes unexpected.
When you commit sucide
you end all possiblities of unseen ,
and unknown beautiful moments of the future.
You can love again..
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 257
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What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/7/2007 8:53:57 AM
Sounds like Romeo & Juliet. The day this gets stupid, is the day that everyone stops go to see such films, such as the one with Leo DiCaprio & Claire Danes. But it still keeps being shown on TV, and people still see such films in the cinema.
 Angel756
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 258
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/7/2007 9:49:15 AM
I THINK THAT YOU DON'T TRUST IN YOUR FAITH ENOUGH THAT GOD KNOWS WHATS BEST FOR YOU AND HAS SOMETHING BETTER IN MIND FOR YOU. YOUR HEART WILL MEND ONLY FOR SOMETHING MUCH BETTER THAN YOU EVER DREAMED OF!! WE ALL CAN QUIT WHEN LIFE GETS TOUGH BUT THE WINNERS KEEP GETTING BACK UP AND MOVING ON KNOWING THAT IT'S GONNA BE OK NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!
ANGELGIRL756
 Sethfire
Joined: 1/22/2005
Msg: 259
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What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/7/2007 10:05:49 AM
I think if someone does kill himself of a broken heart, he/she is beyong hurting that the pain is unbarable to that person that the person see's know other way out of this pain that is unbarable to this person. This person needs love and cant take the pain in total despare and Im sure at one point in all our lives we all have thought of doing this once but didnt. Its normal to have thought of this once in your life time. That feeling is a very lonely feeling if a person wants to die from the deep pain he/she feels this person needs to know the pain will go away in time suicide it not the way to go others suffer in the same pain your in that made that person want to take his/her life suscide is selfish and not fair to others. Dont think know one cares they do stop pushing people away let someone in their is hope dont be afraid Ive been through that too my husband took his life 20 years ago
 lilbitcurious
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 260
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/7/2007 10:35:00 AM
To set the record straight...the man I am married to has been my husband for almost 18 yrs. We r n an open marriage. He does his thing and I do mine. I will stay in this marriage until the youngest child we have turns 18. She is 16 now. The guy that committed suicide was a boyfriend of 9 yrs. He knew full well when we started our relationship that he would have to wait for me for 11 yrs. He was ok with that. We had a very wonderful relationship for 9 yrs. When our sex life went to hell, I begged him for several months to correct this. I was left in the bed many many times wanting his touch. HIS touch might I add!! It all fell on deaf ears. Then I did the unthinkable, I had an affair with my high school sweetheart. He was pushing me to leave and I didn't want to. I only wanted his benefits not his heart. This started causing problems between the two men. I didn't want to give up the man I loved or cause him any pain. I only needed more of him that I wasn't getting. Those unmet needs caused me to go outside the circle. Yes, I cheated on him but I did more to myself that I did to him. I cheated myself out of everything that meant anything to me at all. This may seem cold and heartless to some of you but if you knew me, you'd know that I am not like that at all. I have a broken heart from all of this but suicide will never b an option for me. Being of POF was and that is y I am here.
 lilbitcurious
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 261
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/7/2007 10:41:16 AM
You r absolutely right!!! I wish everyone could see reality for what it is. I am not the only person that has ever cheated. If everyone committed suicide just because someone cheated on them, imagine how many dead people there would b.
 judyarlinepuckett
Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 262
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What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/7/2007 1:46:40 PM
I would say that person needed some kind of help,
Who ever commits sucide has mental and emotional problems,
Whatever the reason a person does it,
There is a mental and emotional imbalance.
Otherwise they would see the options,
of life ,moving on.and living.
There is no sane reason for sucide or taken life.
There are always families left heartbroken.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 263
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/7/2007 2:12:45 PM
lilbitcurious:

You r absolutely right!!! I wish everyone could see reality for what it is. I am not the only person that has ever cheated. If everyone committed suicide just because someone cheated on them, imagine how many dead people there would b.

I applaud your honesty here and in the other posts you posted in this thread. I personally don't view your situation as "cheating" as an open-marriage is exempt from cheating. I have a dear friend here on POF and she is in an open marriage, oddly, it's the ONLY marriage in my circle of friends that seems to be working at all. It wouldn't be for me, but I don't live in her house or yours. You took the public beheading here with tact, that speaks volumes.

~OT~ Suicide is not something that most people understand, could fathom doing or respect. For me personally, I view it differently. Obviously there isn't a person posting here that has been so down they have succeeded at killing themself, but to blatantly state things as it's stupid, ridiculous, etc., etc., etc. ~ to each their own. Unless you've been in the position to step over the fine line between wanting to die and actually taking your own life ~ it would be impossible to understand the thoughts, feelings or lack thereof which drives a human to their own demise. I lost a friend to suicide. I completely understood why she did it. I missed her terribly for a very long time, but deep within my heart ~ I know that she was no longer hurting/suffering/and or fighting demons that no one here could possible understand (unless they knew her as I did.) Is suicide an option for a broken heart? I don't know. I have not attempted suicide over a broken heart, nor have I attempted suicide for any other reason. Have I had thoughts pertaining to suicide? Absolutely. As I stated above ~ there is a very fine line between those who attempt/succeed and those of us who don't make an attempt. I think often times desperation causes a person to become overly focused on their troubles/demons ~ so maybe that is selfish. But, unless you've been there ~ who's to say what is in the heart/mind of that person? I just know that I miss my friend at times ~ but I've NEVER called her a coward, selfish or any other negative term. She ended a life that she couldn't cope with ~ it's just that simple. JMO
 justme1124
Joined: 4/5/2007
Msg: 264
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What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/8/2007 2:48:27 AM
tell us more,don't waist peoples time,are you considering it?and the reason if you are,these people can pull you back from the brink with their advice if you tell them exactly whats going on in your head,don't be vague,like in your question
 beachdancer
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 265
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/8/2007 6:06:25 AM

I THINK THAT YOU DON'T TRUST IN YOUR FAITH ENOUGH THAT GOD KNOWS WHATS BEST FOR YOU AND HAS SOMETHING BETTER IN MIND FOR YOU.

Amazing. Kick the person while they are down. The God I know tells us to be compassionate. Even Job's friends just sat with him for seven days before they started in on him.

I was privileged to be invited to a presentation at The University of Texas Health Science Center in San Antonio. The subject was bipolar disorder aka manic depression. Slides were presented of the normal brain, manic brain and depressed brain. They tagged sugar. The normal brain was evenly lit up. The manic brain was dark on one side. The depressed brain was dark in front. Depression is a physiological condition. Someone suffering from it needs help. Of course, just like any other illness, you can't MAKE them get help. People with cancer may choose not to get treatment, ie. But blaming them for feeling depressed doesn't help one bit. Any of you considering suicide, please get some help. Don't give up, there is medication. Is is trial and error and may take a while to get it right but really, you don't have to live in hopelessness. The rest of you, quit blaming the victim. They don't choose to be depressed any more than a diabetic chooses to be a diabetic.
 beachdancer
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 266
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/8/2007 6:25:08 AM

I have spoken to numberous schools and churches about suicide

blueyesrsmiling on 10/7/2007 5:09:30 PM

I wanted to email you and tell you this: Kuddos girl!!!! I visit Springfield about twice a year, my daughter is in college there. I would love to meet you! ::Hugs::
 judyarlinepuckett
Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 267
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What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/8/2007 2:46:03 PM
someone's typo..
I can relate.lol.
 beachdancer
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 268
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/8/2007 3:57:32 PM
Micas526a; Please honey, go get some help from a professional. Ten years of depression is horrible, really, it can get better but you need medical help!

blueyesrsmiling: Sherrie, You have restrictions on your profile that prevent me from mailing you. I keep up with NIH news, I didn't know about this other organization. Do you volunteer? please either email me with alternate address or lift the "must be male" restriction.
 TensawEagle1
Joined: 1/5/2007
Msg: 269
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What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/10/2007 12:34:39 AM
Hey Micas526a,

I know life looks like it isn't worth living right now. Iv'e been there I know...My wife left me after 22 years. Son, you are to young to give up on life.

Like another poster said go get help. I did, and I'm doing better.

First thing you need to do is quit isolating yourself, there are people out here who care and will help you. But, you need to make the first step.

Remember I had 2 times more tied up with children. I can and do identify with you.

Rick TensawEagle
 sassy_1974
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 270
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What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/10/2007 6:31:00 AM
same old shite, same old sayings..

NO suicide isnt selfish...its the final desperate act of a depressed/mentally ill person.
they are/were sick...needed treatment..didnt get it for various reasons.

NO-ONE is ever to blame for suicide...its usually due to a series of unfortunate events that 'well' people can get through, to them its the end of the world.

myth says that a person who threatens suicide wont do so or is less likely..
FACT is that a person who threatens it, is probably the MOST likely to do so.

above all else, please, please remember that ANYONE who says they are feeling this way would not be saying it for no reason and is probably desperatly unhappy.
A moments flippant remark, could possibly make their choice between life and death..

kindness costs nothing.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 271
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/20/2007 6:50:35 PM
~OP~ I'm not a fan of reviving dead threads (crap, I'm punning like everyone else ~ sorry all ~ funny, but not exactly meant to be....) But today ~ I learned that a dear dear life-long friend died Tuesday. After some searching, investigating, it has come to light it was suicide and it was over his "wife." My confusion began when she was not mentioned in the obituary ~ pretty clear sign something wasn't quite right. Phones calls were made, facts disclosed and truthfully ~ all that exists inside of me at this very moment is a sadness that screams: I get it, but I so wish you wouldn't have done it.

We can talk about selfishness, how wrong it is, how we don't understand it........but the real truth is ~ it's not our life. It's those we love, have loved, have leaned on at times, and maybe even have regrets about. The loss is not to be blamed on someone who couldn't decifer between living and not ~ we need to treat those who cross the line with respect ~ even if we don't understand the whys/what ifs/because/etc.

Her, I'll never forgive ~ him, well ~ 30 years of friendship prevails and I'll always remember the funny, laughing him. Sadly we didn't see much of that after she arrived. But, we love who we love - whether they are healthy for us or not and he loved her enough to marry her two months ago after a long battered relationship. Misplaced anger won't let him come home ~ sadly. So before all of you judges speak of selfishness, the act isn't what is selfish to some ~ it's the ONLY answer for some who are so lost they don't know where to go. This means: be a better friend. Be a better spouse. Be a better parent. And by all means ~ love those who love you, without judgment.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 272
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/20/2007 7:54:11 PM
I'm impressed. I wish I had the balls to chastise every single solitary suicide that has occured. How simply sickening in my mind that all of these Bertha/Bart-better-than-thous spew their self-worth on pages of public forums ~ claiming to be so much more moralistic, intelligent, loving, etc., than those who simply choose a different route. Kudos to you all ~ when it hits close to home, and you hear someone's mother say, "Well, he won't hurt anymore." Then you can judge until then ~ pahhhhhhhhlllllleassssssssssssssse. Get over your own damn self because no one here on POF is the I-Ching of happiness ~ living ~ loving or knowing the heart of another. Selfish? Selfish is a multitude of emotions that many have no clue about ~ selfish is blaming someone who feels they have NO other option. If I were to cross that line tonight ~ I can assure all of you "selfish" promoters, there would be NO doubt by my family/friends/etc., as to why and there isn't ONE of them that would blame themself. Selfish is viewing suicide as selfish ~ unless you've been there ~ call it what you will. Selfish is BLAME. When you let that go ~ you become an empathetic person ~ those are the few that truly aren't selfish. Moral police ~ some people don't wish to be here anymore ~ who are you all to tell me or them or your cousin down the street that they are required to be here because they will be "selfish" if they leave? I only live MY life ~ many of you need to take notice....until you are someone else, you don't know what they live with or through. Openmindedness, people ~ it's the first path to empathy and understanding our fellowman.
 PacificStar
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 273
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What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/20/2007 8:28:28 PM
Suicide is the fourth leading cause of death in life. If you think I am joking look at a death certificate. Society is facinated by it and even promotes it as a way to conquer others.
It is however the most devistateing thing to happen in many other peoples lives. Unfortuneately it rarely hurts the person who has left you nearly as much as it hurts others. Often people you really care about and who are totally innocent. It is living hell for parents and children. It does terrible things to helping professionals sometimes making the best leave the field entirely. Suicide to spite a thoughtless lover is futile; if anything it amplifys their selfishness and sometimes cruelty.
Not to say all people who leave you are trying to hurt you. Sometimes they actually love you very much and know they can not meet your needs and that you are going to be better off if they exit it your life so you can find someone who will. If someone is telling you this listen. If they are leaveing because you don't meet their needs it is much better than makeing your love a failure. Or worse wasteing more of your life in a futile exercise that will eventually be resented.
It is not stupid or attention seeking to say you have feeling that you have. What is is not addressing them. I am not a great believer in many treatment modalities but if you really think you can't stop yourself a day or three in a hospital lock up ward where you are stripped of every human dignity will give what you do have left new meaning and keep you safe long enough to rage a while. Don't count on treatment or even evaluation for approriate medication. All you are going to get is a big bill and a record.
The recommendations for counselling are not bad. Peer support groups are usually best. So are reading about depression and suicide from reputable sources. Talking to supportive friends can help but don't be surprised if people dessert you in your time of need. This is a problem few are prepared to handle or want to mess up handleing. There are many venues of getting help so try more than one. The odds are you are so devistated by the loss of a love because your life is out of balance. If one person is your whole world then you need to spread out your efforts for friendship and finding things that make you happy. Join groups, reconnect with people you already know, and invest regularly in attracting new and varied people and interests into your life.
 partynomore
Joined: 8/25/2005
Msg: 274
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/20/2007 8:35:02 PM
Tommorow May be a better day,or may be worse.Everybody handles pain differently.Some get help some try to no avail.People say oh look at all the people your going to hurt,screw those people ,if they don't understand ,it's your life,your pain and in some cases you come out of it and some cases you drop pills and go to mental health the rest of your life and never really get him or her out of your mind,that also hurts the people around.Sooooooooooo let them go through the agony , suffering ,and fear of planing their suicide from one idea to the next.You think it's the easy way out it takes alot of desperation and willpower to plan on how to kill yourself,i mean who ment the most to you besides your reason for dying and your dog?
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 275
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What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/20/2007 9:11:14 PM
I nearly lost the most important person in my life to an attempted suicide over a broken heart. The doctor told me in three more minutes he would have been dead, dead, gone from life forever. Was I angry, oh you better believe it -at the little **** who was the cause of his pain, with her cheating, manipulation, game playing, the pain he could not envision ever going away. The nurses had to restrain me when I saw her in the hospital. Was I angry with him for the pain he caused me, yes, but most of all I was sorry for the agony he was in, I was sorry I could not heal it, I was sorry and guilty I had not seen the signs of what was coming, sorry I couldn't make it all go away. So to those of you who think you are the blessed, the all-knowing, the authorities on what suicide is and what it leaves behind, I say bulls**t, you don't know your azz from a hole in t he ground. Many people never know the pain that will lead to suicide, and those people do not understand how someone could do such a "selfish" act so you have absolutely no right to play the holier than thou game and tell anyone who has just lost a very dear friend like vge has what she should be feeling, what the people who loved that friend should be feeling, you know nothing, absolutely nothing. Do I agree with the advice to get counseling and medication, yes, ABSOLUTELY, I hope that those of you who are in pain right now will at least try it, it may take several trys to find the right med but it might be a light at the end of that black tunnel you are looking into tonight. I am sorry for all the pain expressed here, but most of all I am sorry for all the idiots who feel they have the right to judge someone else's tolerance for pain, shame on you. Get over yourselves!!!!
 mylady-redtailhawk
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 276
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What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/20/2007 9:18:31 PM
I know it is hard sometimes when we lose someone we care about. I have gone through it myself and my faithin what I believe in has helped me. I believe that we are all here for a reason and that people come into our life for a reason, but not always forthe reason we wish it to be. But each of us take something along with us from the experience that we pack away in our spiritual suitcase to help us along our journey.
I was going thru a very dark time in my life, caused by an abusive marriage. Someone very special came into my life, A brittish pilot, his name was Micheal,the answer to my prayers I thought!
He was perfect in every way for me. I thanked God daily for him,for the loving support he gave me , the things he would say to give me strength. The one thing he said most was (to stop being afraid as it takes all the color out of life. )To make a very long beautiful story short, it ended suddenly....he was killed by a drunk driver while away in Russia. The light that had came so bright into my life was gone taken away with out reason. Why????????? I still do not know why but I do know that his short time in my life did wonders for me.......I started to live again, because he showed me life was worth living as long as we are not afraid to go on...... happiness can and will be found.
How do you thank someone for giving your life back to you......his answer to me would have been ......"by living it"
So in short remember the good times, times you may never had had if they had not come into your life. Build a way to a happy future from the good and forget the past as you are not going that way. I hope in some way my story has touched a heart or two. giving hope to the future that the best is yet to come if we "stop being afraid............and enjoy the colors life has to offer us.
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