Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 mylady-redtailhawk
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 277
view profile
History
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??Page 12 of 63    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
Please forgive my typo's in the last responce, as I do not know how to got back and fix them
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 278
view profile
History
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/20/2007 9:29:15 PM
PS - to those of you who are in such horrible pain, let me add that the person I was speaking of did live, he did get over the source of the pain, he did learn to cope with life's ups and downs and he did learn to be happy, so please give yourself lots and lots of time to try and heal, it can happen but please don't let those in here who are being so judgmental make you feel bad about your pain, they do not understand it because they are not living it, you are.
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 279
view profile
History
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/21/2007 12:07:22 PM
sweethoney13, I tried to private message you, but your restrictions wouldn't let me. I hope you will write to me as I would like to correspond with you about the situation you find yourself in, I have some insight that might be of help and ,no, I don't want to talk about suicide-just support you
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 280
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 10/21/2007 3:09:01 PM
All I can say is take a person seriously when they talk about suicide, it's often their last final hope that someone might care.


I agree. In my friend's case ~ he spoke of it to no one. Not one soul. The day of the event, he went to work, finished his job ~ went home and now he's gone. There were no forewarnings, no conversations ~ no tears, no venting to others about his troubles, etc. It was in his mind, and I assume it was there for a long time. Maybe not, but knowing him ~ he was rather calculated in his life, so I doubt he just woke up and decided that day was the day. Sometimes, it's not only a woman or a man that spurs those ideas, nor is it another human being the promotes the ending. Sometimes, it's just what someone thinks is the right thing for their own self and those around who may be watching sufferage of a nature that is difficult to discuss and impossible to avoid/fix or remove from one's life.



i've been there, and believe me.....it's not just the heart, it's a combination of many things!....sometimes, a broken heart is just enough to push one over the edge.

Exactly. It wasn't his broken heart that was the final deciding factor ~ it was many things. Things he has lived with, grieved over for too many years and things on the horizon that were just not workable in his mind/heart.

What I find interesting, his family is feeling loss, but definitely NOT anger. They are not blaming anyone. They aren't blaming him. They are planning a celebration of his life ~ they are carrying out his final wishes and they are embracing all of us who loved him. There is no need for blame ~ it's over. Now it's time to let grief/bereavement and memories take over that which we can no longer speak or share with him personally.

For the above poster who wished to email me direct ~ I have email restrictions for ONE reason ~ I have the right to have them and there isn't a thing you could say to me in private that you couldn't state here in public. I didn't do a "group tongue lashing" as I only read the past two pages ~ just like you and everyone else here, I'm allowed to post my opinions here ~ even if they go against some sort of "group" agreeance.

Idsun: I'm sorry for your story and for those here who are hurting as well. You are correct ~ sometimes there just isn't anything to do for someone who is in a position of such horrific pain that is the only thing they can see as an answer. Thank you for the compassion towards me direct. Empathy and compassion go much further in life than blame, anger or lack of understanding that we all don't view life/death the same.
 TitusBreast
Joined: 3/18/2007
Msg: 281
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 11/20/2007 8:02:35 AM
Suicide is just plain stupid on a good day. Over a person is even more stupid. Why would anyone want to have to come back here?!? For the love of God, already! I've got a novel idea...if you really want to check out that bad and don't want to accept blame for it, simply wear a sandwich board with some very nasty expletives about anyone at all. Make references to their inadequacies as a person and why. There will, at this hour of the day, be someone very willing to exhibit their inbred right, as instituted in the "Born To Kill" film, and you'll wonder where they've been all of your life. Don't forget to tattoo "D.N.R." on your chest. Someone may actually care by this time, or their reputation as a professional might be compromised. Before you do this, though, do have the courtesy of creating a will for your beloved kin. The ultimate insult for them is bequeathing every material asset you can claim as your own to the State. They'll definitely have a much better use for it than anyone else possibly can. Afterall, they need it far worse than you or anyone else, don't they? Can you say, inertia? If you are unable to save yourself, you're not apt to be worth a damn to saving anyone else, either...especially from themselves. Avarice and bovines rock my world! How 'bout yours? Love, Titus
 GoddessDiane2006
Joined: 8/22/2006
Msg: 282
view profile
History
What do you think of a person committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 11/24/2007 4:11:27 PM
I had a friend that recently did that. I was very saddened by it, but apparently he felt that was the only answer. It wasn't. Also, his (estranged) wife pushed him to the limit. Now his kids suffer the consequences. Life isn't fair......
 Cueil
Joined: 11/13/2007
Msg: 283
view profile
History
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 11/24/2007 9:34:59 PM
I wanted to die so very badly... it's amazing that I'm still alive
 BamaBob
Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 284
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 11/24/2007 11:12:45 PM
Know the feeling. Definitely been there. Recent breakup caused me to fear that I might actually do something like that. HOWEVER, realizing this and knowing and being aware of the depression, anxiety, and panic attacks and that they are a result of the situation is extremely important. Just knowing that the situation is history and knowing life will go on and that you will still have a life to enjoy once you put it all back together is reason enough to keep on going. It definitely is not like changing socks or as simple as putting a band-aid on the wound but the healing will take place and you can move on and you can do it all over again and even may suffer thru another break up...but look on the bright side...enjoy the good time and good days of the relationship. Emotions and pain are normal, so you can expect these physiological reactions every time things are not right. That's how we're made! If something is not right we feel pain one way or the other...that's what it is intended and designed to be for...to let you know something is not right.
 gonzofanmel
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 285
view profile
History
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:12:22 AM
It's cowardly. I went to school with a kid who killed himself. It was devstating.
I know there are some idiots out there who kind of have this "Romeo and Juliet" idea of killing themselves for the one they love as being romantic, even noble, but COME ON! If you kill yourself, who do you think suffers? You? Nope. You're not there to see it. Think instead of all of the people you leave behind--friends, family, loved ones. They're left wondering what they did wrong, or what they could have done to reach out to you. Then comes the guilt, the sadness and anger that everyone feels.

You're not ending your own pain--you're causing pain for hundreds of other people, because you can't see past your own hurt. And that is downright selfish. (Plus, if you were raised a Catholic, there's that whole idea that if you kill yourself then you're going straight to hell. That doesn't sound too pleasant to me).

Life is a precious gift. As much as you think you are suffering, there is probably someone else who is suffering 10,000 times more than you are--someone who makes less money than you do, doesn't have a warm bed to sleep in, doesn't have a roof over their head, can't get a job, etc. So be thankful for what you have, and as for the things you don't have--it's not going to land into your lap. If you fall, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on.
 naeco
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 286
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:37:00 AM

suicide is the cowards way out... just my 2 cents worth anyways!


Cowardly, weak, and selfish.
 gonzofanmel
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 287
view profile
History
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:42:40 AM
Not if you explicitly notify them of your reasoning. None would then feel guilty (unless the person explicitly blames them I guess) and sadness and anger are part of this world anyways. You don't like it, kill yourself too!


Sooo....you think that by writing a suicide note, it eases the pain of those around that person? Sorry, not happening. The guy I was friends with in school did leave a note, and it didn't ease anything.



Western society has grown so materialistic! I am almost ashamed of myself, save the fact that I am shameless!

What's the point of having anything if you've no one to share it with?


When I said "things", I wasn't necessarily referring to MATERIAL things. Besides the basic needs we should all have--food, clothing and shelter--there's health, mental and emotional stability, and love--from family and friends who accept you for who are. What most people don't realize is they DO have someone who share it with--maybe not a romantic partner, but there are still others whose lives you can touch and make better, just by being there, by saying "I Love You," by spending time with them.

If someone has had their heart broken, and hasn't found the love of their life just yet, it doesn't mean it's the end of the world and they should kill themselves. I had my heart broken pretty bad a couple of years ago, and I still haven't been involved with anyone since then, but so what? By concentrating on what is positive in my life, I realize that I don't NEED someone; I can count the blessings I have already. If I do find someone to share my life with, then great. But if I don't, it's not the end of the world. Just because I'm alone (i.e. without a s/o) doesn't mean I'm ALONE ( in the larger sense).
 -grace-
Joined: 6/27/2007
Msg: 288
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:46:31 AM
to all that has an opinion on suicide i will tell you from first hand experince .first you don,t talk about it ,you wake up in the middle of the night knowing your plan and then you put it into action,this is how i tried i knew that if i took to many pills at one time i would just throw them back up ,so i did it slow i took over 50 pills within a 4 hour time period . now i am very sorry i did this because it hurt the few people i didn,t want to hurt .i didn,t do it because of a man i did because i didn,t see any other way to make the hurt go away .there was many reason for my feeling that death was the only way ,but the main reason was i couldn,t see anything getting any better i was in a dark hole surrounded by people but no one could see how i was hurting.suicide is not the answere but i know why people think it is the only way out ,believe me i still think about it, but now i stop and think about the people i will hurt .so if your are thinking about suicide please,please find someone you can trust and talk to them .
 beachdancer
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 289
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 2/4/2008 8:28:49 AM

and here in aussie there is very little help for those depressed, or thinking of suicide. the help is only there for those that try and fail. bit like closing the stable door after the horse has gone.

they see wanting to be dead is not as bad as trying to end it all, the omly reason im still here is cos im too gutless to slash me wrists or jump under a train. (hate the thought of pain)
and the medication i did try to od on wasnt strong enough.


Please people if you are dealing with this. Don't give up, go get help. And keep on trying, if one medication doesn't work, tell the doctor or go to a different one and keep on trying. It is trial and error. I just lost the best friend I ever had to suicide. Get help, don't do it. Your loved ones will suffer so much! I had no idea so many people loved her and me, for that matter. Tell them, let them help you. Surround yourself with people who know and understand and will help you get the help you need.

For those going through a loss to this terrible disease of deppression. The sick mind is in so much pain. She didn't do this TO me. I will feel guilty, but I do know I did all I could. I will miss her.
 LovelyLinda33
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 290
view profile
History
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 3/2/2008 8:09:38 AM
It is very sad, that a human can not see past his broken heart. As in anything in Life,
"This too will Pass"! You must muster up your strength and move on. Volunteer to help other people that have much bigger needs than your own and reach out to them and before you know it you would be feeling much better by helping others. Wallering in self pitty never solved anything! So, put both oars back in the water and start paddling....Smile and the world smiles with you. Bounce back.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 291
view profile
History
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 3/2/2008 8:23:35 AM
I think it's stupid. For one thing, why would a person want to hold onto someone who did not want them and/or does not treat them well? Another reason is, down the line, a person won't even remember this 'great love that was lost' and feel foolish that they ever even thought about killing themself over someone who just wasn't that interested in being with them. But mostly, it's just a selfish act, the ultimate need for attention and to try and make someone sorry. The only people hurt are those who really do love you, those a person is trying to make a grand statement to, they already don't care much, and they will only be given proof that getting away from you was a good idea. Suicide is the ultimate selfish act of self-pity, get past being self-absorbed and one will see how ridiculous it is. People don't kill themselves because they love too much, they do it because they want attention. There are other reasons people commit suicide, of course, but I'm speaking about the big grand gesture of dying over a broken heart.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 292
view profile
History
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 3/3/2008 2:03:50 PM
I majored in psychology, my comments come from years of studying such things and I was speaking specifically about wanting to kill yourself over a broken heart.
 asianpersusian
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 293
view profile
History
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 8/24/2008 10:02:20 PM
I'm very sorry you feel this way, ihope you can find some profesional help, please don't do this you don't know what's good coming around the corner hopefully you can work through this pain and hopefully move on to someone who deserves you. Good Luck in you're journey in a more positive light.
 OneLifeTwoLive
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 294
view profile
History
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 8/25/2008 7:32:30 AM
I would never commit suicide for anyone.
 duckling
Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 295
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 8/25/2008 9:57:48 AM
I have never been able to grasp the concept of suicide. A friend did it over a break-up in our early twenties. In my opinion, if things are that bad, they can only get better!
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 296
view profile
History
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 3/5/2009 11:07:24 PM
Suicide is a one-way ticket to...WHO KNOWS WHERE? By playing God and offing ourselves, are we angering or shunning the almighty and we go straight to hell? Do we even believe in an almighty, a heaven and a hell? And, yes, in our selfish and self-serving ardor, what about the people we left behind, to grieve because they loved us and wished they could have talked us out of it? It all raises rather intriguing and yet troubling questions.

I was pretty damned depressed when my brother who I loved very much just couldn't hold on any longer and departed this world of complications relating to cancer surgery (sepsis). It sucked. I wanted to join him. I thought "what's the point of life anyway? We're here and then we're gone." But, when my thoughts drifted toward offing myself, I had to wonder...what would HE think of me (when we met in the afterlife)? What would my parents think? There's obviously some reason I'm here, so I'm going to do the best I can to love myself and others...
 catatung
Joined: 10/10/2006
Msg: 297
view profile
History
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 3/5/2009 11:12:47 PM
Whatever comes after life, we are all on our way there... Ending your life over someone is just not worth it. People get stuck thinking they *need* someone. Truth is, you dont really *need* anyone. You can really want to be with someone, but you don't need someone.

If you try to keep your logic in check, it can help you from feeling like this when something happens... But, I know thats not always easy to do.

Just my 2 cents...
 beachdancer
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 298
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 3/6/2009 2:38:42 PM

Sorry if this is a little over the top for info ,, but you asked and it struck a cord so i'll answer,,, My Mother committed suicide when i was 10, tore my world to shreds! her and dad were in the middle of a divorce and although i have no answers why she did what she did,, i can tell you that no matter what the world throws at me i wouldn't ever do to my kids what she did to me and my sister. period!!


tigersamtempting: I am so sorry for your loss. It is natural to feel angry. I have talked to several who have attempted suicide. Many say, "The scary thing is how logical it seems at the time." The decision to live needs to be made before getting to the hopeless point. When that decision is made, then you can warn friends and family to when you need help or supervision. Winston Chruchill said: "I do not stand by the railings of ships because it would be so easy, in a moment of despondancy to throw myself over. I do not want to die, I want to live."

I have, in the last year had two friends commit suicide. I feel angy at them, as you feel toward your mother. Keep in mind, she probably, in her sick mind, thought she did you and your sister a favor. Also, never forget that determination to never do that to your kids, should you ever visit the cliffs of insanity.

Like any other illness, depression is lonely. Only you can make the decision to fight it. Giving in, is not a viable option. Look at this man's pain over losing his mom to this disease.
 beachdancer
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 299
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 3/11/2009 11:55:29 AM

raphael_adroit_esquire says: Everyone has something positive to think of. It's a matter of whether or not they choose to see it.
....

Happiness is a choice. It's not something created by pills or given to you by someone else. It's a mental decision you make. You cannot control what life deals you. ...
The difference between a tragedy and an opportunity is perception.



It is ignorance like this that causes many sick minds to go over the edge. There is nothing like being hopelessly depressed, knowing it is unreasonable, being unable to control the feelings and having some dolt spout this BS. It just adds to the pain. It is like telling a diabetic, they don't need insulin, it is all in their mind. Think positive and your diabetes will just go away! The "pills" are missing ingredients in the brain. Do your research Mr. Adroit, check out the brain scans of normal vs. depressed people. Don't kick someone who is down.

If you are depressed, don't let this guy get you down. Get help. The last person I know who was given this advice was found dead in his car a week later. He was so depressed and said it was all his own fault. I was 20 and this fellow left a wife and three young children. After I was educated, this haunted me.
When I first really dealt with this debilitating disease, the thing that helped me the most was when the Dr. pointed out this was physical and we can straighten it out, it is not your fault, you are not doing this to yourself. And he was right. There is hope even though your feelings are telling you different, please, normal folks do not consider suicide.
 flappo77
Joined: 2/6/2009
Msg: 300
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 3/15/2009 11:51:46 PM
its a sad, sad thing. i've tried it at a time when i wasn't able to date at all. in the end the best solution is just to rough it out and cry if you have to. but let it leave your system completely before trying to move on with life.
 beachdancer
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 301
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 3/17/2009 1:40:36 AM
Well mr adroit: You are not wrong but nor are you entirely right. Everybody does need to deal with whatever disease they have, all by themselves. As I say, you either fight or give in, and giving in is not a viable option. But what is this victim stuff? I was born with diabitis so I am a victim? If I have the right mindset I don't need insulin? Some can control that disease with diet some must take four shots a day. Is one weaker that the other? Both take control. So some can overcome with therapy, some with self help, others need medication. The average person can look at anyone's life and wonder how they do as well as they do. The trick is to look and someone's life and not judge them. You, mr adroit come off as judgemental while calling me a bleeding heart. Which, I suppose, means I am judging you. I admit to being judgemental at times. But my goal is compassion. Believe me, and I can get testimony to prove it, I can deal out tough love. I have told more than one person to get off their ass and deal with it. If one has a broken leg, we set it, put a cast on is and give them crutches. We wait on them, hand and foot, for a while. When they are ready, we help them get around and encourage them to begin to get around on their own. We don't browbeat them for being in pain. My best friend committed suicide. You think I don't feel angry, then guilty? She was in so much pain, and took the only way out she knew. Yes, she made the decision, long before she accomplished it. And that is the point I am trying to make here. MAKE the decision to fight and not give in. In trying to make this point, I don't want to kick the ones who are very down, I hope to encourage them to not give in, use the crutches, do what is neccessary to choose to live. If you really have dealt day to day, week to week, month to month, and for some year to year thinking, " I just want to die." then you understand. Yes, you are right, it is a habit, a breakable habit, but you need to know your audience and we don't on these forums. I do not advocate vitimhood and hate the phrase, "I am a survivor." I say, help, I do help and sometimes, when warranted, I give a good kick in the rear. Not only to others but to myself too.
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??