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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??      Home login  
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 Hezett
Joined: 9/16/2005
Msg: 51
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??Page 3 of 63    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
well....I'm the ex girlfriend my last boyfriend killed himself over, supposedly...and it REALLY sucks being on this end. I know he had a lot of other things going on, and I was the last straw, and it wouldn't have mattered WHO it was, he had it in his mind that our relationship was the last one for him, and if it didnt work, that was it...He was an alcoholic and i didn't even realize it until after his death. he had started stalking me, and I'm a fairly defenseless girl here...he was a scary unpredictible guy (he was never violent with me though). He thought he heard me say that i cheated on him when we were still together when he was spying on me....I will not cheat if i'm in a relationship; if its not going well I'll break it off. which is what I did. but yes. I didn't know that he thought he heard me say things of an unloyal nature until one of his friends asked me days afterwards....far too late. I'm a nervous wreck. I mean....he's gone. I CAN"T commit suicide, even if I wanted to, because that would be totally lame :P. but i have anxiety and depression so badly that i can't even handle working very much....i have other stuff going on but nothing has EVER bummed me out anything like this, not even my worst break up. it consumes me....all the time..theres always something i know he'd love on tv, in the theatres, etc...we had a good relationship and I didn't realize how much he loved me until after we had broken up.....i had fallen out of love with him though and I just couldn't go on like that.
So yeah. there are always other issues...Its unfair to the people who end up feeling responsible....the ONLY thing i could have done differently the night he thought he heard all that crap was to not talk. theres nothing i could have done differently.....but you wish so hard that you could..
 A_REAL_Sweetheart
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 52
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 12/11/2005 7:21:00 AM
I HAVE SURVIVED THREE SUICIDES of people close to me. All were related to a broken heart. When I was only 17 y.o., I caught my boyfriend in bed with someone else, so we were over. Three weeks later, he committed suicide and supposedly wrote in his note about it all being over me. (I never saw the note. Only going by what I was told.) 2 1/2 yrs later, my father attempted suicide, when my mother was divorcing him because he had multiple affairs during their miserable marriage. HE ENDED UP LIVING IN A VEGATATIVE STATE FOR 11 YEARS! IT WAS PURE AGONY FOR OUR ENTIRE FAMILY SEEING HIM LIKE THAT. To make matters worse, he did it on Father's Day, two weeks after I got married! It is STILL a painful, permanent legacy in the family. It still hurts me to this day that my dad is not alive to be a grandpa to my child. Plus, I have the burden of explaining my father's actions to my child. I know they would have adored each other. To top it all off, a few years later, my best childhood friend (knew her for 25 yrs.) committed suicide, IN FRONT OF HER TWO SONS, after she found out her husband had an affair and knocked the chick up. I was almost 5 mos. pregnant at the time she did it. It's a miracle I did not lose my baby! Time has passed, and I am more healed, but I can tell you that suicide is NOT an answer. There is a group called "Survivors of Suicide" that truly made a difference in my life in helping me come to terms with how my loved ones chose to end their lives. PLEASE CALL A CRISIS HOTLINE, GO TO A COUNSELOR, CALL A FRIEND, PASTOR, ANYBODY, IF YOU ARE CONSIDERING THIS! I have had low moments, myself, (don't we all?), and if anyone is pre-disposed for suicide, I got set-up to be a candidate. BUT, I HAVE NEVER ATTEMPTED IT, NOR WILL I EVER! God gave us life. I hope my story will serve as an inspiration about overcoming adversity. I sincerely hope that love and peace be with you.
 Bartalo
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 53
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 12/11/2005 9:31:21 AM
If a father takes his last $50 to buy a bag of coke in stead of putting his kid in soccer or buying them shoes...it's selfish...if he doesn't come home at night to his wife and leaves her wondering where he is..it's selfish...if he skips out on his work a day here and a day there to have an affair...or drink with buddies or just to go fishing...it's selfish...leaving someone behind that loves you..is not admirable..but selfish...hurting people is a selfish act...taking when you should be giving is a selfish act... in most cases being selfish is the last thing a suicidle person thinks about...but they have taken from the people who love them the most something they can never get back in a very horrific and tragic memorable way... leaving them with a very painful legacy of a lost life...struggling the rest of thier lives to remember the good memories and not the one that scars them forever...it's all about taking...and taking something from someone whether you are awhere of it or not...is SELFISH ...i'm only saying the ACT ln suicide is selfish...not the poor person who thinks they have found the answer to thier problems...the people crying at the funerals affect me more then the person lying in the coffin..my comments are born from my own experiences burying friends and i didn't intent to offend
 000firefighter
Joined: 10/21/2005
Msg: 54
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 12/11/2005 10:12:06 AM
ezrder, you are right in your words I'm far from a psychologist, and what you have wrote explains the way I feel to the point. I had a hard time trying to figure out how to come across the right way.
 DacaInaru
Joined: 8/18/2005
Msg: 55
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 12/11/2005 12:07:03 PM
Well said Ezrder.. well said..
 hidden treasure
Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 56
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 12/11/2005 12:54:48 PM
There is a old saying that goes: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem! Nobody's love or lack of love or what ever is worth another person's life. Also the person that wants to commit suicide needs to remember that he is not only destroying his life but he is destroying his families lives also. Think of your parents,brothers,sisters. Think for the rest of their lives that they will tear themselves up wondering where they went wrong or why didn't I see the signs. : I speak from experience because I tried to take an overdose when I was 22. I wanted my exfiancee to pay for breaking up with me. When he came to my hospital bed all he wanted was the title to his damn truck. ! To think I almost killed myself over this idiot It is not worth it for any reason!
 ora23
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 57
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 12/11/2005 1:20:40 PM
so my cousin called her ex one day and she was missing him alot. she wasn't totally over him and he told her he could care less about her. what did she do..........popped alot of pills and ended up in ICU for a week. how do i feel about suicide over an ex..........personally i would never hurt myself like that over anyone. i think its stupid and nobody is worth taking your life.
 Bartalo
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 58
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 12/11/2005 2:36:45 PM
thanks 000firefighter..i think you expressed yourself well...i think everyone did...well...99% anyway...the real person who should be thanked here is Truelove68 for trying to save his friend from a horrible decision...i hope your successful Truelove68
 A_REAL_Sweetheart
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 59
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 12/11/2005 8:09:31 PM
Suicide is a permanent ESCAPE (not solution) FROM a temporary problem. It's about taking personal responsibility in facing and dealing with one's own issues, pain and getting help in doing so if one is not able to cope. It does not "solve" anything. It creates more problems (TRAUMA) for the survivors or poor folks who find the body, etc. There are SO MANY OTHER OPTIONS to heal emotional pain. God did give us all free will. Sometimes intervention works, and sometimes it doesn't. Some people plan it for months, even years, will use it as a way to CONTROL others or feel in control. Some do it impulsively. Some are truly depressed (sad, lonely). Some do it for revenge. I hope anyone considering suicide will please reconsider that "This, too, shall pass," especially with it being the holidays, and reach out for help in a kinder way. God, please bless us all!
 Byrd
Joined: 7/19/2004
Msg: 60
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What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 12/11/2005 9:48:26 PM
Yes there are those who make serious attempts and live through them only to be disabled for live in nursing homes, in wheel chairs, blind, I 've known many of those because I was in A.A. For many years I can't tell you how many times I'd get a call at 2a.m. only to show up at someones house to be met by the police or the coroner..I knew a guy his kid shot himself took off his face part of his brain his eyes the kids in a nursing home been there like 10 years can't talk it aien't fu*kin worth it tomorrows another day..Please heed the warnings of those of us who have been through this we speak of experience, God Bless You..
 Montreal_Guy
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 61
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What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 12/16/2005 5:41:35 AM
I lost a friend of mine in the Netherlands to suicide this year on Easter Monday. He had gone through a very similar divorce situation to mine, and he and I were brought together by my Dutch " internet adopted l'il sis ".

Imagine a guy that's a bodybuilder, and looks a bit like Charley Sheen. Imagine a guy that's remarkably bright, and deeply spiritual. Imagine a guy that had a lot of tattoo's, and worked in a metal shop.

That was Bas, and he was an angel.

I tried corresponding with him, and we talked over a short period of time - perhaps a month or so. It was one of the most frustrating times in my life. He was stuck in a downward spiral, like a plane ( or an angel) with a broken wing. We would e-mail one another, and I would know exactly where he was mentally.

I am normally excellent in such situations, and have "succeeded" with a few very close friends of mine. Normally...

He wasn't eating, he was fading fast. I actually got him to drive out to a forest near the Belgian border, and take a long walk through the woods. I told him to go somewhere he had never gone before , outside, and to take a long walk in nature.

He wrote me afterwards, and told me how great it had been to be out there by himself - and seeing a new world.

My "sis" and I worked really hard, but he kept "falling back". He was stuck in the past, and unwilling to accept the possibility of a better tomorow.

On Easter Monday I came home, and got online.

Instantly a message popped up " Bas killed himself."

I just swore at my monitor, in shock.

He had gone up to his attic, and to his private workout/meditation area - and hung himself.

Born on Christmas Day, and dead on Easter Monday - at age 33.

At his funeral, the church was full to capacity. There were metal workers, bikers, clan members from his computer world, and my sis. It was the most eclectic group you could imagine assembled together - with one common bond.

They all knew him, and loved him - and he was totally blind to how many people were out there for him. He was surrounded by people in life, and in death - yet he never truly realized that. He had every quality a person could want, and was blind to that as well. All he saw ( magnified a million times) were his flaws, which were a drop in the bucket compared to his remarkable personality and intelligence.

At the same time as his funeral, I went outside and looked up at the night sky. It was a clear night, and yet there were only three stars visible. Two were close together, roughly in the same position as the two cities my sis and Bas lived in in the Netherlands. Another one was much farther away to the left.

The one that I took to represent Bas was the only one that was "twinkling" out of the three.

Maybe it was Bas's way of saying goodbye, or just coincidence. I looked up at it, and said what I wanted to say and wished his spirit well.

Don't do something rash like that. Live your life, and keep pushing towards the light. You have the power to make things better, and to make yourself better. Death comes all too soon anyway, there is no need to rush it.

I have come to the edge of that cliff twice, and looked over the precipice. Once when I was about twenty, another time shortly after finding out about my divorce two years ago. Both times were like being caught in a hurricane force wind for a short period.

Neither time lasted more than a half hour, but had I let myself get swept away...

Things will be better, if you let yourself accept that possibility.You will find that to be the case. It takes a little time, and a little effort, but the rewards are great.
 smilescolorado
Joined: 10/7/2005
Msg: 62
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 12/16/2005 5:54:05 AM
Hello everyone! Here is a Hug and Kiss to everyone. To close to the Holidays to talk about suicide.If you need someone to talk to look me up, I am a nice person with a heart.
Happy Holidays!
 Carissima
Joined: 1/16/2005
Msg: 63
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 12/16/2005 6:40:11 AM
This is a pretty touchy subject for me but was drawn by the need to give my theory and thought here toward this thread....

Has anyone ever truly thought to STOP and really think about what exactly would bring one's state of mind to the result of remotely contemplating suicide? I mean think about how unbelievably helpless and vulnerable one must be.... what point they must reach to even humour the idea for just a moment will you folks?

I think we all realize that this world can be a tough place to live and survive in, no doubt. Yes it’s true that we all have our crosses to both carry and bear in our lives. Some more than others, others less than most, and although suicide is a crime against oneself, for some…to others it’s the only freedom they can think of. Again, think of what frame of mind one would have to be in to reach that conclusion or assumption and bring some form of truth to it.

Many have stated within this thread that those who contemplate this form of self inflicted punishment are lonely individuals with no strength or passion for life - that they are cowards hiding behind the shadows of their own light. Even that these individuals are crazy. I say this instead. I truly believe that at one stage or another in your life EVERYONE thinks about it ONCE…at least. If you haven’t to date – you will…. someday before your life is over, I assure you. I remember my “Behavioural Psychology” Professor, during my first year of University saying…. “ Those of us who have never had thoughts of suicide are either lying or afraid to admit they have due to public scrutiny” That if you don’t even think of it ONCE in your lifetime – YOU were the one that was crazy. That the mind, body and the heart are in direct link to one another and if one suffers so do the others.

Haven’t you ever noticed when you are emotionally down about something that you automatically start to feel ill? Your mind looses its focus! It is a medical fact that emotional distress makes your immune system weak and that you are easily susceptible to illness when you are sad and or depressed. So why is it so crazy to have thoughts of suicide when you are broken hearted? I don’t believe it is at all! True some of us deal with stress and sadness better than others. This is very natural, but some of us fall into a dark abyss and find it harder to crawl to the light than the rest of us.

My friend Andrew committed suicide some 5 years ago. He was one of the most incredible, articulate, brightest minds of our time. He had a wonderful future ahead of him. But his demons got too big for even him. It was really hard for all of us at first to fathom what he had done, but later came to realize just how much he must have been hurting to do what he did. He loved us…. and we loved him, we know that! He wasn’t weak or cowardly for what he did. He was just human, and sometimes humanity has a very crippled and distorted sense of reality. He needed peace at any cost. I would never allow or stand for his memory to be lost or condemned to disgrace for what he chose was best for him in that moment of darkness, but rather saddened by the fact that I didn’t see all that he hid from us. He was to proud to publicly display his hurt ….his heart or his tears. Perhaps it was society that claims that a man who demonstrates feeling is weak that failed him…perhaps not! All I know is that I truly miss him ... and will never forget his light!

No one knows what truly goes through a person’s mind at that final hour. Nor can we ever grasp that moment of final judgement where we either take one path or another. So to judge would be wrong…. to speculate… stupid.


Anyhoo... those are my two cents on the matter .... which at the end of the day ... don't really mean much at all. Perhaps they are just ramblings of a madwoman...perhpas not!

~Carissima ~
 andrew7809
Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 64
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What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 12/16/2005 6:51:54 AM
I think suiside over a woman or a man is idiotic. Its just a person, and there are more out there. and dont wine about she was the only one. i'm going through that now. the devil talks in your ear when your vonerable. tell him to pound off, he has no controle over you.
get over her, she ant worth your life. i know, i thought about it, but i'm not gonna let him win. not on my watch. just start going out with new people, the pain will lessen with time
 MMMBaby!
Joined: 10/25/2005
Msg: 65
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 12/16/2005 6:52:05 AM
A sad waste of life. When someone does that, I think when you meet your maker they play you the film of what the rest of your life was to hold. THAT is when real sadness and despair sets in because they realize that love was just around the corner and they foolishly squandered that potential over something that was not MEANT to last forever...
 Idle
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 66
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 12/16/2005 6:55:54 AM
well..i say if your thinking of suicide?.....over another person??.please do it and rid us of another loser!...to me it's top of the list for being a coward!

ciao! <<<<<<
 Idle
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 67
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 12/16/2005 6:58:49 AM
oppps.......my bad here..............In the good word of the lord himself. " God only helps those whom help themselves"
cheers!
 SweetPeaJulia
Joined: 11/25/2005
Msg: 68
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 12/16/2005 5:08:06 PM
In my opinion this whole "Its a permanent solution to a temporary problem" slogan is such condescending bullshit. you don't know how these people felt and what was going on in their lives. Maybe they were alcoholics, drug addicts, or depressed/bipolar/etc. Maybe the broken relationship brought up childhood traumas. And maybe they were all alone and when someone they loved abandoned them, they snapped. As people tend to do. To judge them is just bullshit, you don't know them. period.


An uncle of mine killed himself. He was an alcoholic and one day while he was at work his wife loaded up everything in their house including his kids (only leaving him his dog) and left. he came home to an empty house and that night got drunk and killed himself with a shotgun. I remember the funeral where everyone blamed themselves. His wife was standing over the coffin repeatedly saying I love you. To this day my mother hates her and blames her for his death. It was a really sad thing. Point is that I don't consider him selfish, people have to live their own lives and if they cannot, it is their choice.
 jazzhomie
Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 69
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 12/17/2005 8:32:17 AM
So, what you people are saying is that Adolf Hitler shouldn't have killed himself.

 daedalchap
Joined: 4/13/2005
Msg: 70
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 12/17/2005 9:21:17 AM
Suicide over love has been an everlasting staple on civilization. People will always do it and though the people around them will never understand, it's a detrimental feeling that the person who has taken their life has.

Some 5 years ago I was in love with a woman. She was beautiful, a girl of my dreams. I had a fantastic job and she had to go to Calgary to study. Long story short, I lost my job, the distance took its toll and she left me two days after and became a stripper.

To say the least, I was emotionally destroyed. There wasn't a thing that mattered to me anymore. Constant****ails of drugs and alcohol to numb the pain didn't help and I really didn't care if I woke up the next morning of not.

By the time my family clued in, it was too late and I wasn't doing a thing. Didn't try and get a job, didn't try and find love and I didn't care what I put in my body.. I was damaged goods and who would want that? At least that's what I thought about myself.

I've been on meds and stopped them on my own because they only served to help push me over the edge. Helped to rationalize what I wanted to do. When you're on the rooftop of a building and wondering how much of a mess there will be when your brain is all over the pavement, sitting on the sill visualizing it. It's not a good thing at all.

Here I sit 5 years later and I can honestly tell you that I have never been able to work up the same courage I once had, never able to feel the same confidence in myself but I am glad I'm alive. I've been broken hearted afterwards and frankly I never slipped that far down again because I know where that leads.

I personally built myself to the person I am today. I put the pieces back together myself. Recently I dated a girl and she left me because I let myself feel depressed sometimes. I don't believe in hiding feelings anymore and I don't think you should feel any guilt for feeling low. Her and I shared a love I have never experienced before, but yet it fell apart just as quickly.

You love because you're a good person. You love because you're able to feel. There are people incapable of love and there are others who are just evil. I admit I can be bitter at times but you have to remember one thing. You have a heart; you have a capacity to love. You can not control who you love and sometimes you can't even control why you love them. If they don't feel the same way it's not your fault and you should never feel any less of a person because of it. A relationship starts with love and ends with sacrifice, determination and commitment. If you two didn’t work out, it’s not because you’re a poor person, you simply didn’t match in that regard.

You’re more than welcomed to drop me a line if you need someone to talk to.
 modman1968
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 71
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 12/17/2005 9:54:50 AM
as a person who has lost my best friend due to this it is a subject i also need to share. i cant understand why maybe they just give up and think they have nothing to ofer others but ill tell you i hurt soo bad and was so mad that he did this i was floored imiss him very much and people who do this do not realize the effect they had on others life and the lasting effects to endure stop being so selfish get help and go on the pain from that break up last alittle while the outcome last forever thank you
 SXXXYLICIOUS
Joined: 12/1/2005
Msg: 72
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 12/17/2005 11:06:43 AM
- If your main intent / goal to commit suicide is to make that other person see that you were The One through your suicide -> IT'S NOT WORTH IT!

- The person will get devastated...but only for a short time. In time, you will be another memory, another fading one. And you're dead. You gave up your life for a mere split second that the person will reconsider to take you back. But what if they never wanted you back even if you committed suicide? What if your impending suicide never makes a difference anyway?

- The people around you that really love you ( family and good friends ) are the ones who will truly be hurt.

- If you do it, there is no way ever in knowing if there is someone else out there for you. YOu will rot in the ground, and there will be nothing else. If you think the soul is going to heaven or hell, you're in for a treat. What if the soul never goes anywhere? What if it just stays in the coffin? What if it just goes into a black hole and that's it? Would you really want to find that out now? AND FOR WHAT? For a broken heart!

- Time will heal the broken heart. Suicide won't do it.
 veni vedi vici
Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 73
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 12/17/2005 11:55:51 AM
suicide is a cheesy way to end things,relax there is someone waiting in the wings so take it easy!!
 Montreal_Guy
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 74
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History
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 12/17/2005 1:19:55 PM
Suicide is getting rid of your pain by transferring it to every one that ever knew you and cared about you.

I wrote that after Bas hung himself.
 ManOwaR
Joined: 8/9/2005
Msg: 75
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 12/17/2005 1:27:50 PM
Chlorine for the gene pool.

Nothing more to say on the matter. Au Revoir.
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