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 evdogg
Joined: 8/14/2005
Msg: 237
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDSPage 14 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
Let me tell you what really hurts! I met a girl on this site two days ago and in my add I made it clear that I wanted to date only someone who is sure of what they wanted in a relationship. We went out on Friday to a movie and about a half an hour into the movie she grabbed my hand and put her head on my shoulder. That put a smile on my face and told me that she was indeed interested in me. I really liked her too. By the end of the evening together we were pouring our hearts out to each other. I was falling in love........and so wasn't she.....at least that is what she told me.
Come Saturday evening, she called me to come down to watch a couple of movies with her. I was all excited and I went. I really liked this girl. I got to the house and we cuddled and started to watch a movie but then one thing led to another. I was polite and asked her if she was really sure this was what she wanted. She insisted yes and I hesitated a couple of times but gave in like a fool. About three hours into the night she told me she needed to go over to a female friends house to spend the night and she did.
Come Sunday, she called me in the afternoon to come watch a movie and again overcome by excitement I went. I got to the door and she kissed me and we went to go watch a movie and again cuddle. She kissed me some more and about an hour into the movie got up and looked at me and told me I was not the man that she wanted and did not see a future with me at all and politely asked me if I would leave. I am getting so tired of all the games that women can play with a man. My heart is broken once again and now I do not even know if I want to even consider dating for another 5 years. So guys, just read my story and you can learn from a real loser right here!!!
 pegasus01963
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 238
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 11/26/2006 4:36:28 PM
I totally agree with you on what you say and how to go about it. But its very hard when you love them so much. I’m in the same position right now. Thing I know what she is doing but you hang on for the hope they will change there mind. I am working on getting out of this situation as I now realise she doesn’t want me for who I am only for what I can do. Oh and I have only had sex with her the 1 time. Guess that was the bait for her. Every time try it with her now it not the right time o she’s on. But its going to be that has the last laugh don’t worry. Revenge Is sweet.

Get the hell out of it and don’t look back. If she wants you , you wouldn’t be on here now. Lets just say I have woke up from a dream that been ongoing for 18 month and its cost me thousands
 Merlin the Dwarf Lord
Joined: 5/6/2006
Msg: 239
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/6/2006 1:36:36 AM
I agree. That's how it's done. Girl's love treating a sucker for what they are and they will milk it for what it's worth. Get the uperhand early and they will fall in your lap.
 NocturnalPrincess
Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 243
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/11/2006 10:15:34 AM
JUST FRIENDS means she likes you but doesn't want to have sex with you.

You could hang out and stuff, but she doesn't want even a goodnight kiss. Buddies. Some schools of thought suggest that opposite genders cannot be friends like that. If romantic love is what you seek, then this is not the pasture in which to pursue.
 NocturnalPrincess
Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 246
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/11/2006 10:45:12 AM
Zandrous,
She is trying to tell you nicely that she doesn't want to be intimate with you. If that terminates the friendship, then that is your decision, but "ain't nothin' there!".
 taylor97526
Joined: 11/17/2006
Msg: 247
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/11/2006 10:50:10 AM
hey dude, been there myself so can relate. The only advice I can give you is to not worry about her and put all that energy into yourself. What would you really have if you did have her??
You're the good guy hear and she doesn't want that. The chemistry is there or it isn't. Just leave her alone and you'll find some nice, together lady when you aren't even looking.
Nows the time to get to know yourself once again. Use the time wisely and good luck to you.
 taylor97526
Joined: 11/17/2006
Msg: 249
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/11/2006 11:17:21 AM
hey look at it this way... look at the $200.00 money well spent to get rid of her. "What goes around, comes around".. very true.....
 NocturnalPrincess
Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 252
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/12/2006 12:03:40 AM
Zandrous,
I am a career Idiot Magnet. About a year ago, a man that was totally "not my type" and I began hanging out. There was no attraction there for me whatsoever. None. Nada. Nothing.

Then I began hearing that he referred to me as his girlfriend.

I kept trying to learn to like him in that way.

I even tried having sex with him once, and for me that was a complete THUD.

Finally, I stopped by his home, and just told him: "I have tried, but I cannot make myself feel something that isn't there. It isn't there, and it is never going to be."

The Truth doesn't seem to work any better than sugar coating the truth, because all that I wound up with was a stalker, who was trying to regain Lost Love that was never there to begin with.

For the record, our first "date" was when I treated him to dinner, because he gave my dog a bath, and so I wanted to say thank you. It was never Sizzle City!
 prettyebonygal27
Joined: 12/17/2006
Msg: 254
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/24/2006 11:51:03 AM
hey just wanted to reply to your message from a lady's perspective. sometimes u have to just let go. i know its hard but you have to realize that you are more important than she is and your happiness is even more important than your love for her especially since she doesnt love you back. she is in the same predicament than you because just as u love her, she loves another. life is not fair, but what we can look forward to is the fact that there is someone out there for us with whom we will one day share this love and at that time all the heart ache we have had in the past will not matter but will only provide justification for the utter bliss which we now experience with the one we love. good luck..... and be strong......

didi
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 258
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/26/2006 1:49:43 PM
"When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS"


Did I mention ....... well wait ...


IF the gal reminds you of your mother or IS in fact your sister and wants to be friends ...... sure.

IF you have ONCE OUNCE of attraction for her ..................... get out and get out fast and NEVER look back.

Oh ... I almost forgot to pull out the ***stamp out friends first sign*** (like I always do).

Male/female attraction takes about 60 seconds to access.

It takes months and months if not years to become "true friends"

I just wish that wrongly used friends first .......... um stuff was spoken in plain english vs babble.

"Don't expect me to get frisky with you until I figure out if I wanna do that"
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 261
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/28/2006 11:52:31 PM
Yes vinxen_renewed - they can be friends if both of these two **must be true** conditions are met.

1. If he gets sick and pukes at the slightest thought of going to bed with her.
2. If she gets sick and pukes at the slightest thought of going to bed with him.

It has to be both - one side only don’t work.

That is it ..........






subliminal message > old geezers make better lovers - they don't tell and are grateful as he||
 traditionalove
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 262
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/29/2006 12:33:26 AM
You don't just be friends when you are 3 hours away. If the person is nearby and have some common interest, then being just friends is fine. Some friendships do become strong love when both are unattached. The friendship here is unbalanced as you want her much more than she wants you. If you want her as a friend, then find someone else to love since she already has another lover.

She may be choosing a guy who is not fully available due to her fear of intimacy. You may be overwhelming her by going to her so much.

Good luck to you. Find a woman who really wants you, instead of some beauty who is half-hearted about you.
 traditionalove
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 263
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/29/2006 12:47:29 AM
If she choose a guy who is still living with his ex over you, she is unworthy of you. She is an idiot to choose a lover she has to sneak around with.
 NocturnalPrincess
Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 268
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/5/2007 12:13:26 PM
I have a friend who is a 28 year-old man.

He just got "dumped" by a 27 year-old female. She was involved in an abusive marriage, and then another abusive relationship for 10 months, where the guy broke her nose.

I advised him that she is addicted to abusive relationships, and that he was guilty of being nice to her. It is a bizarre thing that happens, and this woman probably isn't even aware of her pattern. She also has 3 DUI's. Unfortunately, dysfunctions breed a lot of baggage.

My advice to you would be to step back and consider the advice that you would give a friend, because often we give good advice but do not follow it ourselves.
 Neil Levesque
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 270
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/10/2007 11:12:28 AM
If at first you dont succeed, try try again. But after that, just give up. theres no sense in being an idiot about it
 Mayse
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 281
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/21/2007 6:51:46 PM
To the original poster, if you only read one message in all of this 14 pages let it be this one. Send me a private message and I 100% garantee you'll thank god you read this.
 doubleohseven
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 287
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/31/2007 3:19:20 AM
She sounds like the type of girl you should avoid but if you insist then try giving her some of her own medicine,
Next time you see her bring along a girlfriend or at least another woman who will say she is your girlfriend to see what her reaction is.
If she doesn´t show any feelings for you or get´s jealous then she probably is not attracted to you, she seems to like married guys that treat her bad so either treat her like her married boyfriend treats her or forget her and move on.

doubleohseven
 eduhbuhl
Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 288
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/31/2007 3:44:45 AM

her and hang out at her house. I've done so much for her that I could write a book but not once did I ever get any type of affection or anything in return and


Maybe you should write a book about it. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and for wasted time. If not affection, at least get some money back from all the effort invested in loving one-way.
 nightflight7
Joined: 8/31/2006
Msg: 289
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 1/31/2007 7:47:59 AM
sounds like someone copied an entire passage out of david d's newsletter, huh?

don't worry about it man, it's cool.
 Mayse
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 297
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 2/12/2007 12:57:29 PM
Am I the only guy on here who this has never happened to and knows how to get around it? I tell you what if I ever feel down in the dumps I just come to this forum and I feel all better. Haha just messin around guys.
 CountryByHeart
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 298
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 2/16/2007 12:51:35 AM
Well I dont like the-" I cant wait until he ripps her heart out etc
Revenge.
What is it you think she has done wrong?
Shes been honest with you hasnt she?
You have helped her and been a friend to her> ; Thats nice'
Dont spoil what you have between you.
Good friends are hard to find.
If you cant cop it then move on.
Who knows .
Has it ever occured to you if you step back NICLEY she will run to you when shes recovered from a broken heart.

if you put preshure on her now you certainly wont ever stand a chance in the future.
Another thing.
You dont seem to be worried for her only angry with her.
Thats not love- or even friendship

I think she probably deserves better all round personally.

Remember- If you love something set it free - If it comes back good
If it doesnt it never was.
I think you need to search your heart and be honest with yourself
She hasnt hassled you to do thinfgs for her has she?
You have been tri[ping over yourself trying to win her heart
Your angry now becuae you cant get what you want. She ows you nothing.
Back off and maybe you might end up with the girl
Just not right now ok
Goodluck and I am sorry your sad.but better days ahead- I promise ok?
 musicnut46
Joined: 2/21/2006
Msg: 300
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 2/16/2007 1:23:38 PM
That be my "Modus Operandi". Get to know them as well as they like as slowly as they like and eventually decide if you're gonna be just friends for now but leave the door open for more or not. You meet some women and will always just now them. Don't mean you can't hang-out and have fun and/or be there for them in whatever way necessary. That goes for "Friends" too. You just never know,one day they might just say gee... Be very,very cartful about the wanting and/or needing to be around "friends" all the time though. It sends the wrong message. Be even more careful about sending the wrong signals to "Friends" too.
 doubleohseven
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 302
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 5/13/2007 1:36:27 AM
Hello Cusack
I met a woman many years ago that acted similarly to what you describe, when we met she flirted a lot with me and seemed to be very interested in me, there were other guys that were trying to flirt with her also but she seemed to like me best.
I also was very attracted to her and we went out a couple fo times and also spent some time at her place talking and messing around, the next day she decided that we should be just friends.
I fugured she was playing hard to get, so cooled off a little, things didn´t get any better.
She liked my company and flirted a lot with me but when I got closer to her she would back off, when I backed off she would get closer.
I decided that if she was not interested in me, she had a neighbor that was also attractive and flirty, I told her about it and she tried to hide here jealousy but didn´t do anything to keep me, so I went ahead and went out with her neighbor for about 5 years, anyway I broke up with her neighbor and she of course is alone and acts like she has someone, my only guess is that she is just a teaser like your friend , so my advice to you is to go out with someone else and let her know what she will be missing, find a woman or even a friend to go out with you and introduce her to your friend.
At least you will know if there ever was a chance with her or not.
Save her for a rainy day, you never know what the future might have, but don´t get your hopes up.

Gregory 007
 NocturnalPrincess
Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 313
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 6/5/2009 11:20:28 AM
Wow. I am a year late here in posting. When a woman says she wants to be just friends, then she likes hanging out with you but sex isn't part of the equation.

At least she was honest enough to tell you that up front.

It could also mean that there is someone else that she is physically interested in. The bottom line is that she isn't interested in you as a physical partner.

A long time ago I heard a joke that a woman needs three men in her life: One to pay her bills; one to meet her physical needs; and a gay man to provide for her emotional needs.

I am not insinuating by any stretch of the imagination that OP is gay, but if she just wants to be friends, she is definitely not wanting to have her physical needs met there and wants to explore elsewhere. The sizzle is just not there for her.

I do not have three men in my life per se, but I have a lot of close male friends (they are good for heavy lifting and fixing stuff!). What is cool about that is that I have an endless lot of big brothers.

I hope by now OP has moved way on, but I also hope my words help the next person.
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