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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > When the girl wants to be "JUST FRIENDS"      Home login  
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 376
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDSPage 16 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
When she wants to be just friends, give up persuing her, don't even hang out with her, having too many female friends could be more of a liability then an asset as you'll be too used to having "female friends" that your willing to compromise your desires. Let it not be forgotten that your a man and she's a women, if you want to have sex with her give up on the friendship, I mean it, and persue the other women you desire.
Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 377
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/11/2006 10:45:12 AM
She is trying to tell you nicely that she doesn't want to be intimate with you. If that terminates the friendship, then that is your decision, but "ain't nothin' there!".
Joined: 11/17/2006
Msg: 378
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/11/2006 10:50:10 AM
hey dude, been there myself so can relate. The only advice I can give you is to not worry about her and put all that energy into yourself. What would you really have if you did have her??
You're the good guy hear and she doesn't want that. The chemistry is there or it isn't. Just leave her alone and you'll find some nice, together lady when you aren't even looking.
Nows the time to get to know yourself once again. Use the time wisely and good luck to you.
 M-Town Loverboy
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 379
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/11/2006 10:51:15 AM
oh dont worry. I havnt talked to this girl in over a month since she ditched me when we were suppose to go on a date. I'm not that bad lol. I know how to move on. Hell I've been trying to get my last ex to get the hint that I want nothing to do with her. She's just now getting the point and we've been broken up for almost 5 months or so. Dont worry I'm not that gullable. After a girl starts loosing interest, and i can usually tell when they are about 80% of the time, I tend to stop contacting them. If I was friends with them first or whatever I still talk to them, I just dont do it too often.
Joined: 11/17/2006
Msg: 380
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/11/2006 11:17:21 AM
hey look at it this way... look at the $200.00 money well spent to get rid of her. "What goes around, comes around".. very true.....
 M-Town Loverboy
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 381
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/11/2006 11:21:18 AM
actually...$55. lol. If it had been 200 bucks to get her tags....she'd have been ****ed. I only make about that much a week with my job. There would have been no way for me to cover her. I just did what I was "able" to do for her and just hope she would appreciate it. Thats all. as it seems.....she didnt appreciate the thought or me for that matter. Oh well. Life goes on.
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 382
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/11/2006 11:41:25 AM
Hi Dud

Been there and done that and it hurts...
Spent a lot of time with my best friend and every one thought we were a couple.
i tried to ignore but like you went out of my way to see her and help her. it came to a head after one nite she went out with me and went of with someone else. After that i told her that i found it hard to be around her when everyone kept commenting on how could we looked together. then i told her i had feelings for her and wasnt sure what to do next.

She said that she hadnt got feeling like that and just wanted to be friends.
Looking back i Feel in love with her over time in the last few yrs even though we have been best friend over 18ys.

when i told her emotions that i have been holding back came out which she admired for telling her but prob was a little scared of.

Like me if you want to see what happens give her a wide berth...dont ring her, dont be there for her)not to the same extent) and see what happens

Good luck and time is a great healer...

 M-Town Loverboy
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 383
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/11/2006 6:08:06 PM
I have to say this. The most bullshit reason I've ever heard a girl give me when she wasnt interested and wasnt gonna be straight forward with me about it. "You're just too innocent for me". I'm sorry....WHAT? Too Innocent? WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!?!?! Again....bullshit
Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 384
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/12/2006 12:03:40 AM
I am a career Idiot Magnet. About a year ago, a man that was totally "not my type" and I began hanging out. There was no attraction there for me whatsoever. None. Nada. Nothing.

Then I began hearing that he referred to me as his girlfriend.

I kept trying to learn to like him in that way.

I even tried having sex with him once, and for me that was a complete THUD.

Finally, I stopped by his home, and just told him: "I have tried, but I cannot make myself feel something that isn't there. It isn't there, and it is never going to be."

The Truth doesn't seem to work any better than sugar coating the truth, because all that I wound up with was a stalker, who was trying to regain Lost Love that was never there to begin with.

For the record, our first "date" was when I treated him to dinner, because he gave my dog a bath, and so I wanted to say thank you. It was never Sizzle City!
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 385
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/23/2006 12:37:41 PM
Died laughing over th severance pay and temp thing.

too funnyyyyy
Joined: 12/17/2006
Msg: 386
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/24/2006 11:51:03 AM
hey just wanted to reply to your message from a lady's perspective. sometimes u have to just let go. i know its hard but you have to realize that you are more important than she is and your happiness is even more important than your love for her especially since she doesnt love you back. she is in the same predicament than you because just as u love her, she loves another. life is not fair, but what we can look forward to is the fact that there is someone out there for us with whom we will one day share this love and at that time all the heart ache we have had in the past will not matter but will only provide justification for the utter bliss which we now experience with the one we love. good luck..... and be strong......

Joined: 12/18/2006
Msg: 387
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/24/2006 7:04:34 PM
hey man i know how ya feel, not in the part about what you were talking about which touched my heart, but about having your heart given out and handed right back, if you want i can send you a site to read about what i went through with my ex gf, and you will understand what i mean but yeah i was used and abused and she wasnt the girl she told me she was everything was a lie and it hurt so much but at the same time there was more to it i realized stuff after we broke up and i think you should read what i put on my site....
Joined: 11/24/2005
Msg: 388
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/24/2006 7:20:08 PM
OP, this girl is a stupid skank, why would u want to waste your precious time on her seriously? she doesn't deserve you at all. Just pray that you don't get half of the diseases she has lol
Joined: 12/10/2006
Msg: 389
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/24/2006 7:33:47 PM
There is a good answer to that. Give her very short and thoughtless answers to her. Tell her "it's not my problem" followed with a smirk/subtle laugh when she tells you of her problems. Give the same reply to her when she emotionally calls you an a..hole. Jokingly refer her to all your friends. Do little things to hint to her that she is not a part of your agenda. Just keep treating her like that untill one of two things happen: She mentally breaks in half and starts screaming at you as she intends never to talk to you again(problem solved.) Or she comes to you humbled and hurt and while swallowing her pride she begins to talk to you about it(then you can help her to realize what it's like.) The other side of the coin is that men see strength in the form of being big strong and macho. Women see other areas that include indifference in a man and his opinions(he will tell a good looking woman what he thinks whether she agrees with him or not.)

By being overly concerned; She is playing on that as being your weakness. That is a weakness that is possessed by most all guys. That's why most all guys get shoved to the side for the a..holes. It doesn't matter if the a..holes treat those women like a piece of junk. They will put up with it simply because a..holes are strong and nice guys are weak. It doesn't matter how phisically strong and macho the man is. :)
Joined: 6/6/2006
Msg: 390
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/24/2006 9:24:25 PM
i got a question for spidey after the female has treated him like this is there any chance he will ever get her respect or should he just move on
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 391
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/26/2006 7:47:58 AM

Listen, if the girl really wants to be friends, don't spit on that. So you have feelings for her? Well, that's stupid. Next time, don't have feelings for the girl. When she gives you the friends routine, take her up on it, with confidence. Then move on and look for a girlfriend elsewhere.
Usually the "friends" routine comes about because she is just not attracted to the man. You see there are two classes of men: The select class and the non-select class, at least that's what I call them. A man has to turn himself into a "select" man.

Remember that the woman chooses the man. If she wants to be a "friend" that's fine. A man, a real man, chooses his friends. Does he want to be a friend to her? I for example have many women friends. I have chosen them because we have common interests or because these friends have helped me through a difficult time, like a divorce or death of a friend or relative. They are true friends and I have chosen them as friends because they can be trusted. He needs to ask himself does he want her as a real friend. If on the other hand he will go along with the "friends" thing because that's all he can have, that's all he will get. She will not respect him, end of story.

And who knows, maybe it will even drive your "friend" crazy enough that she will eventually cave in and start wanting you. She will see all these women flirting with you and liking you. And you know how chicks want what others want. At that point, play hard to get a little bit, on the pretense of trying to do your best to uphold your side of the "friends only" pact, whereas she's the bad one.

I beg to differ. If he wants to play the game, sure he may in the off chance end up seeing her naked one day, then again likely not. If by a long shot he and her get into a relationship, the relationship will be built on games, it will be unequal and uneven and not based on a solid foundation of true friendship. It will end in disaster and be especially disastrous if children become involved. He's best off to lick his wounds and move on. She's not the only one for him.
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 392
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/26/2006 12:52:54 PM
To keep you from finding someone.
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 393
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/26/2006 1:49:43 PM
"When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS"

Did I mention ....... well wait ...

IF the gal reminds you of your mother or IS in fact your sister and wants to be friends ...... sure.

IF you have ONCE OUNCE of attraction for her ..................... get out and get out fast and NEVER look back.

Oh ... I almost forgot to pull out the ***stamp out friends first sign*** (like I always do).

Male/female attraction takes about 60 seconds to access.

It takes months and months if not years to become "true friends"

I just wish that wrongly used friends first .......... um stuff was spoken in plain english vs babble.

"Don't expect me to get frisky with you until I figure out if I wanna do that"
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 394
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/28/2006 9:24:57 PM
I always read these type threads with great interest, as the male psyche is a complete mystery to me generally.

Can somebody give me the Reader's Digest Abridged Version and tell me.. Is it possible for men and women to be friends if they have an attraction for each other, but know there's a million reasons why a long term relationship other than "friends, even with benefits" could ever work for them ???

Come to think of it.. Do men think a man and woman can ever truly be "Just friends" ?

I sure would appreciate the insight here guys.. Thanks!
 Hell Gibson
Joined: 12/5/2006
Msg: 395
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/28/2006 9:31:53 PM

OK, I have one word for you.....WUSS!!

She's using you because you LET her! Women want a challenge.....they want what they can't have. She can have you anytime she wants you. So where's the challenge? You're not her're her fallback position. What's worse is you ALLOW this to happen to you. You willingly allow her to play you like a fiddle.

You really want to know what to do? Stop doing things for her! When she asks you to come down, tell her your busy. Stop calling her every day. Stop IM'ing her every day. When she calls you, every now and then tell you have a call on the other line and HANG UP. Then DON'T CALL HER BACK. Wait for her to do so. Go out of your way to make her think that, like her, you have something on the side. You have a life. You have things to do and places to go and people to see. And if she wants to be a part of your life, then she's going to have to put forth some effort.

Also, the next time she needs something from you, DON'T GIVE IT TO HER!! Tell her "gee, that's too bad....but I know you. You'll figure something out." or "you're a rescourseful person. You'll find a way to make it work" something to that effect. When you do see her, take to a bar or club, then as soon as you get there LEAVE HER THERE. Go off and talk to another girl or 3. Make sure she sees you doing this. On the way home brag about how many phone numbers you got that night (even if you didn't get any....tell you you got some).

One last thing. The next time she mentions her other guy, make an excuse and either close out of messenger or hang up the phone. Do that EVERY TIME she mentions him. If she wants to keep talking to you, she'll get the hint after a while and she'll stop doing it.

You're the one in controll here. You have to stop thinking with your heart and start thinking with your head. It's hard as hell to do, but it can be done. You do this, and I guarantee you she will either a) leave you alone, in which case she was never attracted to you to begin with, or b) she'll suddenly see you as a challenge and SHE will start chasing YOU.

Listen well, young Padewan.

That was more than one word.


Here's a good rant on the friendzone.

Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 396
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/28/2006 11:52:31 PM
Yes vinxen_renewed - they can be friends if both of these two **must be true** conditions are met.

1. If he gets sick and pukes at the slightest thought of going to bed with her.
2. If she gets sick and pukes at the slightest thought of going to bed with him.

It has to be both - one side only don’t work.

That is it ..........

subliminal message > old geezers make better lovers - they don't tell and are grateful as he||
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 397
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/29/2006 12:33:26 AM
You don't just be friends when you are 3 hours away. If the person is nearby and have some common interest, then being just friends is fine. Some friendships do become strong love when both are unattached. The friendship here is unbalanced as you want her much more than she wants you. If you want her as a friend, then find someone else to love since she already has another lover.

She may be choosing a guy who is not fully available due to her fear of intimacy. You may be overwhelming her by going to her so much.

Good luck to you. Find a woman who really wants you, instead of some beauty who is half-hearted about you.
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 398
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When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/29/2006 12:47:29 AM
If she choose a guy who is still living with his ex over you, she is unworthy of you. She is an idiot to choose a lover she has to sneak around with.
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 399
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/29/2006 1:13:42 AM
Bugger me everyone heres a 'New Age Tony Robbins' talking mostly, but thats the best thing here, cos listening is curling my ears up. Mate rejected love is what it is, lifes got plently more vivid kick in the nut emotions for ya to play with.... (chill, stop read the second reply only....... thats a life player advice, even I was impressed, he knows his thing, although it could of been a chick, being a man, pretending to advice like a chick, like a know what I mean.
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 400
When the girl wants to be JUST FRIENDS
Posted: 12/29/2006 2:18:40 PM
when a girl just wants to be friends what she is saying she is not sexually attracted to you - blunt i am sorry - but true.

move on - so many fish in the sea!
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