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 casandra67
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 87
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanksPage 2 of 22    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)
I dont even know why there is even an argument about this subject. The site itself says dont be disapointed if you get a read/deleted because of blah blah blah.
Everyone is right and correct to themselves.
I like to reply but if I was to start getting emails that are abusive because of my response then I would no doubt stop replying. Its simple, if you get burnt doing something eventually you will stop doing it.
However, for those that think its rude thats fine to, simply acknowledge you find that rude and that person is someone you wouldnt want to talk to.
Im on here for chat only because of my own reasons and it gets annoying when Im continuously asked out for a date and I continuously be polite and say no and they dont take NO for an answer, this is a good example of using the BLOCK button.
 Angelnurse10
Joined: 6/10/2007
Msg: 90
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History
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 2/17/2008 9:28:31 AM
when I posted last time on this subject, I said I had stopped responding to emails that I was not interested in because of some of the nasty responses I hae gotten back.

A gentlemen changed my mind the other day. He had sent me a couple of emails, and when I had the chance I did respond back that I was not interested, but thank you. He responded back politely well thank you for answering me.

The reason I chose him to respond back to after not responding for so long, was simply because we did have a lot in common, but that I was just going through some family things right now and a date was not on my top priority.

I wish I could tell you his name cause I think alot of women are missing out with him.
 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 97
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 2/20/2008 8:01:17 AM
Go out with someone once or twice, a stranger sends Email, or something else along those limited parameters: nothing is owed (although it's nice ---- but not necessary)


I don't completely agree with this. If you had some email/phone conversations or go out with a person at least once, then there must have been at least some initial interest. Therefore I think it would be rude to stop talking to a person without any notice. A simple text/email message stating that "We aren't a match or compatible" is a polite, but firm way to state your non-interest. Even just a "Sorry, not interested" message is better than ignoring someone. It takes 2 seconds to say that.
 runzwithscissors!
Joined: 7/17/2007
Msg: 102
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what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/9/2008 10:54:50 AM
How about when someone says, "so tell me a bit more about yourself " and then reads and deletes your reply?.... Rudeness is one of my pet peeves, and goddamm*t I get plenty of ammunition here! I also respond when I receive an e-mail, whether it's thanks or no thanks....If someone were to speak to me in person, would I just walk away and not acknowledge the fact that someone spoke to me?? This is what the world has come to basically ... Someday, we'll all wake up and be old and alone, cause some of us thought that that someone prettier/thinner would come along and sweep us off our feet!

Their loss....
 jewel734
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 103
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/9/2008 11:08:02 AM
Just continue what you have done. A reply is very courteous. I do the same. You will find many on this site who are not, unfortunately!
 Fefe_FXDL
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 111
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/10/2008 5:52:18 AM

I went shopping and politely asked the salesclerk for some help in the nicest possible way , the sales clerk reply was rude and ignorant to me ,.... on my way out an old lady was having a hard time getting in the door so I kicked her out of the way and walked over her to leave .... I mean really why should I wait for her after the sales clerk was so rude to me ?


I do not think this example is synonymous with what is happening in regards to the nasty, sour grapes responses that get sent following a "thanks, but I'm not interested" message.

Using the shopping metaphor...let's say you go into a store at the Mall and the clerk asks if they can help you find something, and you say, "No thanks, I am just browsing." Then, the clerk releases upon you a tirade about how you have no business shopping there if you aren't going to buy something, if you can't find something in that store to buy, then clearly you don't know what you need/want, or what's best for you, and you could shop all day and still not be any happier at the end of the day.

So you leave, and go to another store. The same thing happens. And then again at the next one.

How many times before you get to the point of pretending you didn't hear them when they ask, "May I help you?"
 runzwithscissors!
Joined: 7/17/2007
Msg: 123
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what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/10/2008 4:31:16 PM
always DIFFICULT to do, nonetheless, ALWAYS the considerate & respectable thing to do! honesty is the best policy
 Sammy_Cal
Joined: 7/28/2006
Msg: 132
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what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/13/2008 9:37:55 AM
Sunshine No wonder that is your name the fact that you respond to all shows indeed you are a ray of light. I agree if a person takes the time to write, it is a courtesy to write back, the point that you do show your character. I realize women have more emails than men on the average. My letter is not a rejection, because who needs that!

I simply say thank for taking the time to write. While there are plenty of fish in the sea, I am looking for a different catch, it something I can’t explain more of a feeling. Keep casting and I sure you will find a good catch.
Good luck,
Mr. Right
 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 135
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/13/2008 10:40:49 AM
OK, since reading this thread I have been trying to reply to each and every new mail, at least saying thanks but I'm not interested or we're not a match, etc. I just had to report that since trying this, that 9 out of 10 do NOT just leave it at that- they reply with "why is that?" or return some nasty comment in self defense of a polite "no thanks"! I don't have time to explain why and shouldn't have to. Wow. OP- here's a gal who tried to be polite and it backfired and perhaps your answer as to "why" women don't respond to emails. Sorry!


All a woman needs to block a man after rejecting him. That would prevent any rude emails. Or a woman could simply ignore any future emails after rejecting him.
 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 162
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/17/2008 8:32:43 AM
Whenever a man complains about not getting any responses, many women will assume that he writes poor / rude emails or that he is only emailing the "hot" women. That is not always the case. What often happens is that a man would write well thought emails to average looking women only to have them be read / deleted 90%-95% of the time. After a while, he decides not to waste a lot of time and energy on emails that will probably be read / deleted anyways regardless of the content. Sometimes a man might send a very brief email because many women's profiles are very generic and reveal little info about themselves.
 itechman63
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 170
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what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/17/2008 10:18:28 AM
Personally no it doesn't bother me when that happens. Being a guy may be a part of it because I imagine the ladies on this site are inundated with messages, likely have their list of potentials set, may have sent a manners oriented 'thanks but no thanks' to begin receiving hateful replies back, and consider it preferable to not indulge those for whom they have no interest.

The 'Thanks but no thanks" is nice, but if they don't send one I understand that I'm not what it is with which they want to correspond and that just moving on is their tact. We're all different with different approaches.
 itechman63
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 175
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what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/17/2008 1:23:01 PM
Perhaps that was phrased wrong but I believe that the norm is that my fellow males often assume the role of initiator and many of the women here are initiated upon quite frequently.
 jf468
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 176
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/17/2008 1:33:14 PM

I personally could care less if someone thinks i'm rude because I do not reply to an email, it's my perogative, and it shows some issues if people dwell on this to the point of starting a thread about it, sorry, I'll be the odd person here, but I disagree with alot of what people are stating on here.


It is perfectly fine to disagree with what many people have said. However I don't think you should say that a person has "issues" because he or she thinks it's rude not to reply to an email.
 hb111
Joined: 12/6/2007
Msg: 178
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/17/2008 2:25:35 PM
The read / deleted doesn't bother me. However I think it is rude to stop contact with someone without any notice after having some phone / email conversations or going out on a few dates. A simple "we're not a match" message would be fine. Yes some women would say that they get rude responses when they politely tell a man that they are no longer interested in them. In that case, simply ignore all future emails from a him ( or block him ) after you rejected him.
 SandyB1957
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 190
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/17/2008 7:04:55 PM
its kinda funny I had read this mans profile he was a very attravtive male and talked about manners and all in his profile and how he always answers every email he gets guess what even after I sent the email and said a few kind words to him He never answered so what does that tell ya......... lol
 jetty65
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 224
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/19/2008 10:11:04 AM
People just are afraid I guess to hurt the person . They think they will be less hurt if you just ignore them. I was just deleted a few minutes ago actually. I would have rather the guy wrote back and said thank you for your letter, you are not what im looking for, and answered the question I asked him. ( I asked him where he caught his fish)

What bothers me is when people delete my favorites list. Its my list. If they arent interested dont write me, I just go through profiles if i see someone that peaks my interest I add them. I'll come back and read their profiles more throughly later and decide who i want to take the time to write or not, and sometimes the other person has read mine and wrote to me by then. If they delete themselves off my favorites list before ive had time to read it again. I may have forgot that i put them on it and may put it back on if i see the profile again.
 txfisherman43
Joined: 10/5/2007
Msg: 226
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History
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/19/2008 10:54:57 AM
I have encountered this as well. Some of the ladies here are just so rude. A thanks but no thanks reply or something like, "I don't think we would be a good match" is alot better than nothing.
 Angelnurse10
Joined: 6/10/2007
Msg: 228
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History
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/20/2008 8:17:38 AM
I answered this forum awhile back stating that I use to answer all messages, then got some nasty responses back. Well I tried again to start answering, (2 yesterday).
Both men had seperated on their status, and one said great pics, want to get to know me, and the other one said I had hot sexy legs, and what was I looking for. I responded thank you, but I do not see men who are seperated. Both sent me back a response this morning, one said well your pics weren't all that great, and the second one said, well I wasn't interested in dating you.
So now, I am back to not responding. Sorry guys, I know there are alot of nice ones out there, but I don't like responses after a thanks but no thanks.
 IAMREAL4U
Joined: 12/10/2006
Msg: 234
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/20/2008 8:34:49 PM
I share the same sentiment, very little in the way of manners these days... I have replied to all (lots), and yet am rarely given the same consideration. Seems to me that most people are looking for what they think is something better to come along, and yet, some of these profiles have been here for a long time; read into that as you will lol....
 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 237
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/21/2008 8:39:55 AM
If all the women on here would give every guy a chance


I wouldn't expect anyone to be interested in every person who contacts them. However I wouldn't endorse dismissing someone because they aren't exactly your ideal type or because they have a mediocre photo of themselves. Personally I would give a woman shot UNLESS I have very little in common with her or she was completely not my physical type such as being obese. Sometimes that person could be better looking in person than they are in their photos. Sometimes you can learn something about that person that is appealing to you, but isn't mentioned on their profile.
 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 244
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/25/2008 8:24:03 AM

But unread/deleted? How did she decided? I am just curious, but not to the point where I would write her another mail, asking about it, or a nasty mail.


The unread / deleted usually means that she didn't like your profile or photos so why bother reading the email. I'm not endorsing the unread /delele. Just giving a possible reason for it.
 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 252
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/25/2008 3:41:42 PM
Not one person who contacted me has bothered to read my profile properly, most emails are not worth responding to and the few people I have followed up contact with have not been gentlemen at all........

I think when someone suitable emails they will get a response, why should we be contacting people who are not suitable........


This may be true in your case, but I don't think the read / delete is always due to men emailing women that they clearly aren't compatible with. Several years ago I was on an internet dating site. I would send emails where I pointed out what I liked about their profile or what we had in common and my emails were often read / deleted.
 EagleEric
Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 261
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/26/2008 7:41:37 AM
No one is obligated to respond to any unsolicited email. Also you might check to see if the recipient looked at your profile. If they did and didn't like what they saw, they'd likely delete your email without reading it.

Anyway, it is really poor form to complain that some woman (or man) deleted your email (with or without reading it). You sound like a whiner and a man who hasn't developed enough self esteem to weather rejection. I'd bet you've fired off some angry emails accusing the deleter of all sorts of heinous behavior. BTW, what do you feel the proper punishment should be for this type of offense? Perhaps having her Funk & Wagnel burned at the stake?

The Eagle
 Just JJ2
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 263
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/26/2008 7:53:27 AM

What a crock. To the people who state that they reply to each and every email,,,,I have three words for you....GET A LIFE!



Hmmmm... and that my sweet lil fish is PRECISELY what is wrong with our society. The art of social graces is GONE..... ( what a shame)

A simple thanks but no thanks takes all of about 1.2 seconds. I hardly think that will cut into your very busy life......

jmo jj
 realdream7
Joined: 2/5/2007
Msg: 266
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/26/2008 8:00:51 AM

very little in the way of manners these days... I have replied to all (lots), and yet am rarely given the same consideration.

It works both ways. A lot of people get nasty and childish when they are turned down, even when it's done very politely. It is for that reason that many of us have just quit responding when we are not interested.
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