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 Just JJ2
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 273
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanksPage 3 of 22    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)
YIKES!!!!!



Its a matter of self preservation for many women. They value their self-respect, self worth, their personal integrity MORE than the risk of being once again, harassed or being subjected to some guys' rants.



DAMN.. all that from a simple no thanks??

Eesssssssshhhhhhh I think some read way too much into things.... its all quite simple. You reply thanks, but no thanks. They reply with an assault...
and ( now this is the important part)... you hit delete. What risk is that???
 opnmydm
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 284
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:43:27 AM
because ther are alot of very rude women on this site, they all say they are looking for an honest, caring relationship but always seem to go for the loser types, their profile state on thing but they do another, yet they always complain about there being no good ones out here..all it takes is a little honesty and decentcy..guess there is none of that left anyplace either
 Celtic_Angel
Joined: 9/2/2005
Msg: 311
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 4/30/2008 9:15:08 AM
I respond to every email sent to me as well. I think it is just good manners to answer whether your answer is favourable or not at least the person knows.
 Gaelyn
Joined: 4/27/2008
Msg: 342
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 5/1/2008 4:20:20 PM
Well i have a different spin for this topic... why can't a sorry I'm not interested suffice? there are so many times i've written that short but sweet thanks but no thanks, and they keep on, until i have to be a bit rude.
 wtpooh
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 343
view profile
History
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 5/1/2008 4:23:40 PM
No Angel in jeans, it is not the same thing as a stranger approaching on the street. Here you have specifically asked for replies. That carries with it the burden of politeness by thanking the person for the reply. You can limit the people who respond by saying you are only interested in men under a certain age, or only those who love to hike, or whatever. But most ads don't bother parring it down and when a person who you might not care to date, responds you should acknowledge it with a short thank you. I see women grousing about the fact that no one writes anything--why should they when the receipient is just as likely to read and delete. It takes an investment of at least 15minutes to write an intelligent missive. That effort should be acknowledged.

If the message is two or three words or is crude rude or profane, then clearly you are not required to write back.

For those that do not take "no" for the answer, you can always block further inquiries from them.

I do commend you for answering 90% of your emails, but I did want to address the stranger in the street remark. Thank you.
 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 348
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 5/1/2008 8:55:58 PM
To all the all people who have nothing but time on their hands, thats great, but some of us are lead very busy lives and simply dont have time........ Time in front of the computor can be minimal and believe it or not time is a valuable commidity to some people, and jsut because you have it to spare, does not mean everybody else does.....


If you don't want to respond to people you aren't interested in, then that's your prerogative. But please don't make excuses such as "I don't have time". Unless a person gets a large amount of emails, then it wouldn't take that much time to respond to at least all emails that were well written. I doubt that many people are always busy from the time they wake up until the time they go to bed at night.
 diggler_d69
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 356
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 5/3/2008 3:35:07 AM
How do you post a question of your own???
 JimtheToolman
Joined: 9/27/2007
Msg: 363
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 5/3/2008 11:26:20 AM
Yes a "Thanks but no thanks" is much better in my opinion than a Read /Deleted. It is the proper thing to do in my opinion.
This is one that peaves me. Some woman will email you first telling you they like what they see in your profile and then you go to email her back and she never responds back and does the "read/Delete after she was the one that made the first contact. I think "some" women just want a guy to chase their skirt around and do a couple kart wheels and a couple back flips then they might talk to you.
 JimtheToolman
Joined: 9/27/2007
Msg: 364
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 5/3/2008 11:31:30 AM

MSG#403-tigarlily wrote:To all the all people who have nothing but time on their hands, thats great, but some of us are lead very busy lives and simply dont have time
Yeah right lol. How longs it take for a simple "thanks but no thanks" Might save you the trouble of getting a bunch of repeat sendings. Would result in time saved in the future. It's called "the responcible thing to do". Or "ignoring the issue"
 Chef_Charles
Joined: 9/28/2006
Msg: 367
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 5/4/2008 3:12:37 AM
OP, The problem is that people are ruder than we would like them to be. Plain facts, niceness takes time out of my busy life I have to after all, answer my cell phone 24/7 no matter if I want to talk to them or not, it might be GOD calling and his number is unlisted. It might be my stock broker telling me I lost another 4 million at Bear Sterns on that run a few weeks ago. Whatever their reasons they can't possibilly be bothered to be nice, it might ruin their personal rep....

I have in the past been rude to people... I still work for the US Government, at times I have had a really deadly day, friends gone from earth, and I forget that things are peachy keen in your life, but not mine. It does get harder at times to smile when your best friends, or others you knew are not there to tussle your hair as you run by each other in the halls. My Second wife cured me about for good my rudeness, she was always polite even when they were not. I got told a time or three and being harder headed than most I got the messege finally.

I gave out 100 dollars in tips today on 65 dollars worth of food, drinks, and coffee. My name is Charles and now more people know me than I had ever hoped for yesterday when I was just going to be rude to myself in my mirror cause I did not want to leave the house. Death and Taxes are sure things, no, Death is sure and slow or fast it happened friday to a good buddy, but today 3 were saved, I went out and was nice for the sake of being nice, and to play pool.

There will be no way to explain the bad behaviors, without first understanding who and why their are so mad about some.... only mad makes rude,,, in my life anyway, your mileage may vary, or very, or variously very vary..... Be nice to someone you may never see them again.

Charles.
Aka, The Red Dragon, Big Bird, Death at 65,500 feet and falling fast.

I go pooooooooooofy!!!!
 Chef_Charles
Joined: 9/28/2006
Msg: 368
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 5/4/2008 3:22:13 AM
Plan #D,,,,, Call Charles, I think my Phone number is in my profile and I will give you free tips, on cooking, dating, or generally most anything you ask about... but cooking is my hobby I get paid to kill bad guys...

If I am going to use garlic nothing is going to be fat free. But there will be lots more Garlic and Butter to add to the X-V Olive oil to make things nice and tasty.

I rarely use fat free in anything I cook unless their diet needs it and someone else planned their diet for them and they can't trust me know know better for them on the taste and texture and the way their body will work better on things like full fat and heavy bad things for them.

Laughs,,, not everyone will notice me on the flip side, but see you there in about three seconds.
Charles
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 381
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 6/26/2008 3:44:29 PM
Hold a door open for someone as you enter/exit a shopping mall and see how many of them actually acknowledge you and say "thank you"! You'd be surprised how many don't. Some even just give you a funny look (as if they've just gone senile and lost their mind completely). > Raven1


This is interesting, and it is happening so often today. It is becoming commonplace.

I am 54 years of age. I remember an incident that occurred about a year ago. I was in another town, picking up a book, and went for a coffee before driving back home. I finished my coffee and rose from the table. I then went towards the cafe door and opened it to leave. There were some people outside, and they wanted in before I could get out, which is the way of things today. These people weren't messing about with trivia like politeness or manners. I held the door open for the incoming people, most of whom were elderly. Not one person even looked in my direction or gave me a faint nod of acknowledgement. At the tail end of this storm of foul manners was a man in his late teens, I would say. No more than 20. He motioned me with his hand to come out, but I opened the door wider to let him in to the cafe. He smiled, tilted his head in acknowledgement, and in a quiet but sincere voice, said: "How kind."

I swear to you all, I have never encountered such sincerity from a stranger as I did at that moment. It was the way he spoke, his mannerisms, his gratitude for such a small and seemingly insignificant act of thoughtfulness, while the rest - the elderly, the experienced denizens - barged through as if I was the doorman.

That young man? I will never forget him.

~ Peter
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 385
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 6/26/2008 9:16:48 PM

I don't get it, who really cares if some anymous [sic] person on the internet you send a message to on a singles site doesn't reply. > kariharte


I don't get it. Who really cares if some anonymous person on the internet says, Who really cares if some anonymous person on the internet you send a message to on a singles site doesn't reply?

~ Peter
 Adam 4 Coffee
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 387
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 6/27/2008 4:58:42 AM
Yes there is thanls but no thanks or the not interested. But the worst are those who delete my message without even reading it. It say's "unread deleted." It so rude not to read a message that someone put their heart into. Or reading a message and deleteing it without even giving a courtesy message even if not interested. I;ve rejected women but always had the common courtesy to write back.
 SimplyMeeee
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 396
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:21:55 AM
I've received "Thank you for your email, but I've just met someone & I want to see where it goes."
I know perfectly well that this is a 'thanks, but no thanks' response.
But it is a classy, simple way to say no, and I respect the person who sends it.
I will sometimes send back. "Thank you for your reply & good luck in your search."

Never forget that we live in a small world, and you never know where or when you might meet someone, even someone you sent a hello to. Good impressions left always come back to you in one way or another.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 398
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:12:40 AM
I've gotten rude replies to 'thanks but no thanks.' Now, I don't reply at all if I'm not interested.


You don't have to respond if you don't want to. But stop using the rude replies as an excuse. A woman could easily block or ignore a man after rejecting him to prevent getting rude emails. I think some women exaggerate the amount of rude emails they get after rejecting someone. Some women have stated on various threads that 80%-90% of the men that they rejected will send a rude email after rejection. I know some women have used various internet dating sites. They got some rude emails after rejecting a man, but the percentage was not anywhere close to 80%. If 80%-90% of men are rude to a woman after a rejection, then maybe it's the way she rejected them is the reason why she gets a high percentage of rude emails. Some people don't have tact when rejecting someone.

Personally I think would be polite to get a "No thanks" response to reasonably well written email, but I wouldn't get angry over a read / delete.
 Angelnurse10
Joined: 6/10/2007
Msg: 403
view profile
History
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:29:38 AM
Ok, I am trying this again. I just spent over an hour, answering every mail in my box. Haven't been on line for awhile, so it fills up.
I can just about bet atleast a fourth of them will send me a nasty response back.
That is why I stop answering for awhie, and then try again.
I don't want to come off as rude, but come on guys, let it go if you get a thanks but no thanks response.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 412
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 7/6/2008 6:06:49 PM

For me, if I send an email to someone, I:
* Don't invest so much in it that I'm going to feel slighted or hurt if they don't respond.
* Don't expect a response, but enjoy it if I get one.
* Don't feel hurt, confused, slighted, offended, irritated, or any other negative emotion if I don't get a response. I just think, "Well, ok...not interested." >shrug< Next!

I agree with you on all this except the part where you realize you don't get a response. I many times don't even remember I sent one after about a half hour...honestly, I've gotten responses and/or gotten e-mails from men I added to my favorites and not known why they were messaging me.

I just don't see the point in following something you sent and can't control the outcome of...or dwelling on it. If it helps, delete it from your sent page after sending it; but who cares if they respond? The success is in your efforts, not the results.
 Caycee
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 415
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:30:34 PM
How about when you try to be nice and email the person just saying Hi/How are you? when you get the "Give me your phone number and I will call you" email. I don't feel comfortable giving someone my number after 3 minutes of chat and then get a nasty email back saying I am a player and how typical of POF women to be rude. Then get called all kinds of names because I let it drop and didn't say "Good-bye!" LOL
Takes all kinds I guess.
 Bob1952
Joined: 5/2/2008
Msg: 417
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:37:19 AM
OK .........i have to agree with the majority here. Although a response is nice its not a requirement. Actions do speak louder than words,,,and who really needs an excuse for why someone is not interested. Generally i think it's a gut reaction to the picture posted by the person, a non.chemistry thing. Lets be honest we all like to have eye candy on our arms no matter how much we say 'I am not that shallow". We all have our vanity. Best of luck to all 'fishers' and I hope you all find the happiness you seek.....peace, Bob
 yooperbrat03
Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 421
view profile
History
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 7/7/2008 2:38:55 PM
It is best to respond to any communication you may get, but if there's no interest and you want to say "Thanks, but no thanks..." please do it in a nice way.
Bottom line, think of how you would want an e-mail to read if you were to get a response of a "Thanks, but no thanks..." e-mail.


Brat
 La Gioconda
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 424
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 11/11/2008 8:11:04 PM
for some life is busy. If there is no interest, then 'no reply' is the reply to your e-mail. In reality we do not owe any response to anyone here, don't know why so many are under illusion, we owe explanation. Will a note 'thanks no thanks' brighten your day.

Maybe if you apply for a job, some companies actually take the time to send you a formal letter 'thank you for your application' but we have filled the position. Has it brighten your day? What does it matter, in the end. Move on.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 428
view profile
History
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 11/12/2008 12:27:29 PM
I have sent some emails ,commenting nice about their profiles for ice breaker ,but if they did read and deleted my email it does not bother me at all. But if they say * thank you but I am not enterested *to this phrase " Your profile is nice,and your philosophy in life is outstanding. I think there is something wrong on how the person understood the wordings of the email.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 429
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 11/12/2008 2:55:00 PM
It would be nice to get a "No thanks response", but the read / delete to the initial email is not a big deal to me. However if I had some phone / email conversations or went out on 1-2 dates with a woman. Then I think people should have the courtesy and courage to be upfront and tell the other person you aren't interested instead of ignoring the other person until they get the hint.
 GuyinOhio
Joined: 3/19/2004
Msg: 433
what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted: 3/10/2009 9:26:20 PM
I feel you nobatteries.. I get a few that are 'unread/deleted'.

I try to respond with thank you but not interested as welll. It is only common courtesy for senders and receivers.
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