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 MelloDLyn
Joined: 10/25/2004
Msg: 157
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Adults living at home with Mom and DadPage 3 of 48    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
If I met a man that lived with his parents I would run the other way. I don't date anyone with roomies either. I think of it as the same. There are always restrictions and no privacy! Plus I'm loud if u know what I mean.
 american-soldier
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 158
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/23/2008 6:28:36 AM
when i got back from IRAQ, My wife had already moved her Bf into my house, and i was penniless. I was going thru surgeries, and had nowhere to go. I moved in with mom, and i was over 30. People need to stop being so shallow
 feeltobefree
Joined: 10/6/2006
Msg: 160
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/23/2008 11:08:40 AM
Anyone want to judge me. I don't care really but I hate to be misunderstood. After my divorce I had to move back home... let me rephrase that. I choose to go back home. I put myself on a financial plan and now hope to buy my first home next year. Now if I decided to move out and pay rent, that is money down the toilet, suck it up for a couple of years and handle my debt and savings and in the end I will have a major asset that a lot of people out there who rent will not have.

Although I toss and turn with the idea daily thinking that with today's housing market is absolute killer and renting may not be a bad idea.

It has nothing to do with mooching because it's your family and everyone contributes. I know i do. Of course the big disadvantage is total privacy. Hey I know it sucks and I am not exactly thrilled about it, but dont attack my character for something so trivial.

Now of course there are others who live at home and treat it as a resort. Which I would think is unappealing because if they depend on their parents for everything 'homely' then that would just translate into a relationship and expect the same from their partner. I think thats the fear with people who date or avoid others who live at home still.

Dont group all of us. Everyone has their reasons.
 american-soldier
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 161
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/23/2008 11:13:40 AM
[But one of his friends did tell me that it had something to do with him needing to be there for his mom. Definately a mama's boy.]
since when is respecting your mother, a bad thing?
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 162
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Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/23/2008 11:20:39 AM
I agree with the many posters who have called a spade a spade: I am turned off by the judgemental remarks about those who are living at home. There are many reasons for doing this.

My mother has been sick. She and I both are fortunate that I'm at home to make sure she's okay etc. Fortunately she is now doing better and I plan to move in another couple of months or so.
 Evenor
Joined: 10/1/2007
Msg: 165
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/23/2008 2:44:05 PM
What about those people who are trying to go to college full time and cannot afford to spend time working a job just to pay bills so someone who doesn't like roomates or whatever won't throw a fit when they come over. I mean come on people do you immediately have to take a quick look at something, taking what "it is" at first glance so you can find all kinds of ways to tear them down with your negative judgements to give you the illusion somehow you are "better" than they are so you can sleep better at night? For crying out loud people...... for those of you who have tried the single life while trying to go to college these days, it's no picnic. Most of the times these days you need a roomate or spouse to help pay the bills... and more so if you are trying to go to college full time while trying to have a house off campus grounds. So give the people a break because often it's not how it appears so quit tearing others down on some ego trip...
 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 167
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Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/23/2008 3:53:44 PM
I haven't read all ten pages here but I live with my Mom . I'm disabled and have more income than she does plus she is 75 and diabetic and needs the extra help. I grow a garden here and do most everything outside and even help with the inside things. My Mom has not paid a bill of mine in ages although I do help her with groceries and whatever else she needs. Before the prescription plan got here, I helped her buy her meds.

I would also say this, if I met someone and move to where they are, I would have to come here and help my Mom a good bit. My Mom is important to me and I stand with her when she needs me. I just know that family is important to me. I would also help my partner with her family if needed. Team effort I guess.

My thoughts.

Dale

 beautifuldancer400
Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 170
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/27/2008 2:51:40 PM
To: folkgirl

I'd be seriously running in the other direction if a guy in his 20's had a curfew!! If he's living at home but can't live his life that is pretty pathetic.
 danielmarkjarvis
Joined: 2/10/2008
Msg: 171
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:12:50 PM
i am 27 and i still live at home,because of this i stand no chance at getting a girlfriend and i like it that way,honestly if all a women wants is the highest class of men then they can have it ,sorry girls but i refuse to worship you,whether it be from pornoz or dirty magazines you simply are to materialistic and i am sick of classism to the point where i want to die to get away from it
 Evenor
Joined: 10/1/2007
Msg: 172
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/27/2008 4:40:42 PM
Would a teepee or tent be considered sufficient housing for those on the go traveling around the world

Seriously though, would there be any women out there willing to live out of a tent and hotel rooms for a few years while the two of you tour the world?
 beautifuldancer400
Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 173
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/27/2008 5:38:20 PM

I see absolutely no reason why it would even be a problem, most Adults who live at
home do so as many simply cannot afford the high cost of living, or maybe the're on a pension or disability , also just because someone lives with a parent, doesn't mean they
they're leeching, most of them simply considering it sharing a place,similar in a way a roommate would be to them with both members being quite independent of each other and not running each other lives , and sharing the place money wise, ...


well said
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 181
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 5/16/2008 4:57:55 PM
Whenever this subject comes up, it annoys me.

I don't see how the assumption can be made if an adult (male or female) could otherwise support themselves living on their own, be considered a mooch if they live with family.

I live on my own in a city far from my friends and family, barely surviving. There are days I work long hours, but for what? I am for the most part lonely and in debt. Somehow that makes me "better" than someone who might be living with their parents, sharing expenses and keeping each other company.

If given the opportunity, I'd move back in with my parents (and grandparents who live with them). To me family is important, and I know that when I'm around my "Nanny" is happy. When I'm there, I cook (made an amazing turkey for Thanksgiving and Christmas), clean, diagnose their technology problems. I make a great babysitter when the grandkids are around, take the dog out for walks, and simply bring happiness into the lives of my aging grandparents. I would probably be there right now if my mom didn't have the attitude a lot of people have here.

My aunt (who is unable to have kids herself) and uncle have his sister and her kids living with them. Yes, the single mother could get her own place, struggle to take care of two kids, with my aunt and uncle living on their own, each having their own expenses. Instead, they together with 3 incomes bought a nice house, and my aunt and uncle help with the kids. To my aunt it's like having kids of her own.

In today's world, with prices for everything rising, does it make sense to "live on your own", when you can instead combine expenses and the household as a whole can weather any financial troubles that might hit the economy.

Family is the single most important support structure we have, and a lot of the "welfare" that the government seems "obligated" to provide could be eliminated if we took our family support seriously. Society would be far better off in my opinion.
 Lamp_light
Joined: 1/9/2006
Msg: 182
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Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:42:45 AM
Mooching is wrong.
Disabilities work, although if they are so bad she/he had to live at home that would probably be turn off itself.
Saving for important things such as a house/schooling is also understandable.
 girlee_girl13
Joined: 9/5/2006
Msg: 183
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/17/2008 10:17:45 AM
I am 32 and I moved my son and I back home with my parents a few years ago and am not a mooch at all. I pay a few hunderd dollars in "rent" every month to help cover the utilites, along with paying for my own car payment and insurance, internet access, half of the groceries, we take turns doing the cooking, I do mine and my sons laundry. I am trying to save for a house and that was just hard to do living on our own, paying rent and utilites and daycare. I'm also going back to school at night and my parents are generous enough to keep my son since I am in school until past his bedtime because I work all day and go to school at night.

We work very well together and I think it is a great thing for my son to be able to see his grandparents every day and I've also heard my parents say how lucky they are to be able to watch their grandson grow up and be such a big part of his life. Not many grandparents can say that. My parents are still young and love playing with and being around him.

I think I am very blessed and I always make sure, if I am chatting with someone, that they know I live back at home, I'm not ashamed of it.
 roger lee
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 187
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Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/17/2008 3:18:07 PM
If the guy is mooching off of mom & dad, yes, something is definately wrong. However, mooching is not always- or even often the reason for this living arrangement. Many parents are getting older and health conditions arise. My brothers and sister have their own families so it has fallen onto me, when I moved back from California to Michigan settled in this area, that as the only single sibling, I was in a position to care for mom & dad. Being 47 years old, I have lived on my own for 21 years. My dad had Diabetes, macular degeneration, artificial knees, bad back & disabled shoulder. Mom has severe arthritis in her low back, vertigo, and needs two canes at all times to get about. The way I look at it, they gave the best of their lives raising us kids & being there when we need them, so in this situation, I believe it is only fair tat we do the same for them. This shows the same responsibility as it would to raise children (more so because of the emotions involved while you watch your own parents' health deterioating. However, if a guy is just mooching off his parents, he is not only being a burden to them in their golden years, but he is robbing himself of growing up.
 roger lee
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 188
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Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/17/2008 3:20:28 PM
Thank you. After why don't people 'judge' an older couple who (usually because of financial or health reasons) moves in & lives with a child. They do not get judged, but if the adult child lives with them, that is when the judgements fly.
 crayonzz
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 189
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/18/2008 1:44:15 AM
What really annoys me is the fact that a substaintial number of young ones who HAVE "moved" out are actually a bunch of insufferable $%^&*(s who have a blazing row with the parents and move out under those circumstances.
 DavidD1978
Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 191
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:35:20 PM
I turn 30 over a month ago and I still live at home with my parents, I know that some people see this as a possible turn off, I just haven't found the right reason to move out and with the cost of living on your own these days it may be best to stay with parents, but some people have there own reason for that so we shouldn't judge a person just because he or she is still living with parents.

I don't sponge of my parents I either find work or some way to pay what I should like rent and buying food. I always pay my way for everything, and I would never think about sponging money of my mother or father.

I have thought about moving out, and give the right opportunity then I will it really isn't a big deal. You be surprised at how many adults are still living at home with parents and it getting bigger.
 776877
Joined: 10/13/2007
Msg: 195
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/30/2008 1:57:12 AM
WTF.....................................!!!
 holeinthewall
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 196
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/30/2008 2:35:18 AM
women do it too, dont be so quick to judge
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 197
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 11/30/2008 4:39:44 AM
LAUGHING GAL ^^^I have done and tried many things. It is called living within your means. If they (prospective man for a relationship) live off mommy and daddy (or with as it is called here) I say NEXT. And it has nothing to do with looking for a prince or a princess. It is call looking for a mature adult who can handle life, period. If your rent is that high, then you move. Or you get a second job. The only thing that needs connection here is reality. Grow up. Get your own place. Again, if I can work and go through college, anyone else can. And I will own my own home later. Stop living off the sugar teat. And sure, women do this as well I am sure. It is not a matter of judging, because most of the time these people are too lazy to support themselves. It is not like they are really helping out their parents. People that do this have no idea how to survive in the real world. And the second situations arise, will "run back to mommy and daddy."
 LangloisJ
Joined: 2/28/2007
Msg: 198
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Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/1/2008 2:46:34 AM
I was realizing the other night...I hate living with the parents BUT......since Jan '03 I have been staying with gf's or friends up until now except for a year and a half. I was married for 2.5 years supporting myself,the ex, 2 cats, my daughter, paying rent, and buying food amogst other bills and honestly.....If I had never been married it would have saved me a ton of money but things happen that are irreversible, so Im back here again after staying the past year with a friend due to finances.
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 200
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/1/2008 5:33:13 AM
I have an adult child who lives with me, he is autistic. We're working on living skills and hope that one day soon he will live on his own again. My oldest son and his wife, are financially solid and have a home of their own, but they know they are welcome to bunk with us should they ever need, and they've offered the same to my youngest son and to myself as well.

In addition, I am dating a man who is currently living with his mother, his father left her unexpectedly, she's not employed and struggling financially and he is recently divorced and paying child support for four young children, while their mom attends nursing school, so he has movedin with his mom as well.

I see nothing - absolutely NOTHING at all wrong with the philosophy or cultural beliefs that feel a family home is about family. No matter the ages of the participants. My great-great grandmother, lived with my great-grandparents until her death. She helped churn butter, helped care for babies, and illness, she was a strong and vital part of the Smith family and remained so til the moment she passed - surrounded and much loved by ALL of her family.

What would change among our nation's people if we had NOT altered that as an inherent source of pride in where we come from? I suspect a great deal of positive role models would still be around for our children and there would be far fewer broken homes and divorces.

JMO
 Cogie36
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 202
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Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 1/20/2009 10:09:17 AM
I know someone who is 50ish and still living with mommy.....nothing wrong with his mom and no reason to be there other then hes the pick of the litter......very much a turn off.....
 ffryan
Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 211
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Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 1/21/2009 1:53:16 PM
It all depends on the situation. We don't live in an era where you can move out at 18 and get a career job, house, car and start your family right away and be financially ok. Obviously there are exceptions, but most of us can't do that. Many times, staying at home so you can save or go to school is the smart thing to do. I have a few friends who moved out young, and were eager to gain their independence. One guy busted my chops because I lived at home for a while to save for a home. He moved out at 18, has struggled to pay every bill since, has a mortage that prevents him from travelling or buying anything nice, but says he's independent. If that is independence, he can keep it.

I swalloed my pride for a few years and it's resulting in a lot of financial freedom right now!
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